It made Leanne almost sick enough to run to the bathroom in case she puked her guts out at the thought of having just gotten it on with the sexy, murderous nurse who lay sound asleep beside her. The only problem was that she wasn’t feeling disgusted because she allowed herself to be taken by a murderer. Oh no, she was appalled at herself because she had actually enjoyed every second of it. She - the good girl who had always strived to play all the right cards in life.
Where had this sudden desire to live dangerously come from? Or had it always been there?
About a week later, Leanne was hit with another surprise.
“I know you know,” said Cassandra one night as they lay in bed talking.
Leanne, caught off guard, was momentarily at a loss for words as she turned and looked at nothing in particular.
“And please don’t deny it. I know you were on your way back to the house that day, saw us arguing, and then crouched down to hide.”
“I’m not denying anything.”
“Why didn’t you call the police?”
Leanne chose her words carefully. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“No, I really don’t. I thought about it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
Leanne was aware of the way Cassandra studied her with both fondness and curiosity, even though she continued to gaze straight ahead.
“Well, something made you hesitate,” the nurse prodded.
“I guess I just didn’t want to end up implicated in anything?”
“Is that it?”
“Well, I suppose you could add the fact that I sort of understand why you resorted to such action. It sucks that it happened, and it shouldn’t have happened, but if I killed someone by accident, I wouldn’t want anyone threatening to make it look like something it wasn’t.”
A moment of silence. Then, “Would you kill for your freedom?”
“I suppose I would if I had to,” Leanne admitted. “Guilty or not, no one wants to give up their freedom.”
Another moment of silence, then it was Leanne’s turn to ask questions. “You’re not going to hurt me too, are you?”
“No, I’m not,” Cassandra said with a laugh, almost as if Leanne had asked a silly question.
Leanne looked at Cassandra. “Brittany really seemed to believe what happened with Angel wasn’t an accident from what I could hear.”
“Yeah, unfortunately, she didn’t believe in me like I thought she did.”
“Why would she think you were lying?”
“I don’t know,” said the nurse with a yawn, gazing upward.
“Did you really kill her intentionally? Or was it the accident you told me it was?”
Cassandra looked at Leanne. “What do you think it was?”
“I don’t know,” Leanne admitted. “I want to believe you, but think about it, Cass. How long have I known you?”
“Not long,” Cassandra agreed.
“So all I can do is hope you’re being truthful with me since I really don’t know you well enough to form a definite opinion.”
“The truth is that it was an accident, but if I came out and said otherwise, would it change things? Would you now run to the phone and dial 9-1-1?”
Would she? That was a good question.
“Maybe I’d be afraid of what you might do to me if I turned you in. The police aren’t always the protectors we like to think they are.”
Still facing her, but with a hint of seduction in her voice, Cassandra said, “Or maybe Miss Prim and Proper has decided to live a little dangerously and take a walk on the wild side.”
“I wouldn’t count on that, Nurse, but I have a secret of my own.”
“What’s that?” Cassandra asked.
“The day before you killed Brittany, she came over after you’d gone to work and ate me out like I was made of the finest chocolate ever created.”
Not getting a reaction, Leanne watched as Cassandra simply stared at her with an amused smile on her face. She knew she was full of shit. “What did she really do? Or did she even show up at all?”
“She sure did. She begged me not to tell you about it. She asked if you ever mentioned a girl named Angel to me, and I said no. Then she asked about a couple of guys. I don’t remember their names, but one might’ve been Brent. I said I didn’t know them. Her boyfriend – at least I think it was her boyfriend based on the things she said – called her on her cell phone, and she was suddenly in a hurry to leave. She said she’d return the next day to explain whatever it was she didn’t tell me that day.”
Cassandra continued to eye her intently, but this time it was with a hint of concern.
“What do you think she wanted to tell me?”
“I don’t know,” said Cassandra. “Probably just wanted to voice some paranoid, bullshit accusation.”
“You killed Angel by accident, but tell me honestly… did you ever kill anyone intentionally other than Brittany?”
Cassandra sighed.
“If I’m going to be living with you and covering your ass, I really need to know the truth. I worry about getting caught up and blamed enough of the time as it is.”
“You’re already caught up, Leanne, because you’re still with me. But blame is something you don’t have to worry about. No one’s going to blame you for anything, and even if they did, what could they prove?”
Leanne thought about it. She had a point. At least she hoped she did. Even so, she still didn’t want to totally throw caution to the wind. People got set up and framed for shit they didn’t do all the time.
“You didn’t answer my question, though. Did you ever kill anyone on purpose besides Brittany?”
Another sigh. “I don’t even know that I killed Brittany on purpose. I mean, sure, I picked up the shovel and hurled it at her, but it was not only something I didn’t plan but that I don’t think I thought in my mind to have the end result be death. I did what I did out of a moment’s fear and panic.”
“She and Angel were the only ones?”
Cassandra nodded.
“Who were the guys Brittany asked me about?”
“I wouldn’t know. Without names, I can’t possibly know.”
“Did you know anyone named Brent?”
“Once.”
Leanne studied the dark, sexy woman. She wasn’t sure what to believe. Maybe she should take her chances, go home, and tell her parents and the police everything she knew. “Who was Brent?”
“Just some junkie in the ER that I said ought to croak that did. She got all pissed off when I suggested someone start cleaning up some of the city’s trash.”
“Did you?”
“No, but sometimes I’d like to.”
The two women silently gazed at the ceiling in the softly lit bedroom, each lost in her own thoughts.
“Maybe there’s a way,” Leanne suggested. “Did you know they list the addresses of pedophiles online?”
“Yeah, but they’re not usually accurate. Those shits move around all the time.”
“I suppose they would.”
Cassandra gazed at Leanne. “It’s a nice fantasy, huh?”
Leanne nodded. “My friend Alexis was molested.”
“Was she?”
“Yeah, as a kid. I hate to say it, but sometimes I wish the people would do what the courts don’t always do. Really, I don’t understand the twisted system we have or why the judges won’t always do what’s right.”
“I hear you on that one. Just the other day, a judge was saying he was finally going to do the right thing and have some pervert put away, only I don’t see how a few lousy months is doing the right thing. People do years for kiting checks.”
“It’s so damn insane at times,” Leanne said with a snort of disgust. “The twisted unfairness of it all is so common that it almost makes you wonder if people want things to be so messed up. It doesn’t have to be that way, though, really.”
“Oh, I know it doesn’t. Why the justice system is so screwed up is beyond me, but I agree, it shouldn’t have to be the way it is, and it really can be changed. For reasons we may never understand, however, those in charge who could make a difference for the better simply aren’t interested.”
Leanne rolled over on her side and faced Cassandra. “What if I said I was going to call the cops and tell them everything I know?”
Cassandra looked at Leanne with bewilderment. “Is there a point you’re trying to make?”
“Just answer the question. Say you knew I was about to get up and call them and tell them everything I’ve heard and seen, what would you do?”
Cassandra’s expression turned to that of a thoughtful one, and then she said, “It’s hard to imagine you’d do that. You’re too afraid of any possible repercussions, and you’ve obviously got your own dark side you want to explore, even if you might not yet be ready to admit it.”
“That doesn’t answer my question. You’re telling me your opinion. Not what you would actually do if you knew I was going to get up this very minute and call the police.”
Cassandra hesitated.
“What would you do?”
“Well…”
“Ok, that’s enough. I’m pretty sure you answered my question.”
“You are, are you?”
“As they say, silence speaks a thousand words.”
“It does, does it?”
Leanne sighed with irritation. “You’re really beginning to frustrate me.”
Cassandra giggled. “I kinda like you this way.”
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