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"love is such a fickle word, but oh such a beautiful one too"826Please respect copyright.PENANA7xBmhH8zE1
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The blurred out line printed on top of my diary stood out amongst the freshly written poems and one-liners. Funny how something as simple as words can cause a glacial pang of pain, like the stab of a dagger of ice ,frozen from a poisoned well.826Please respect copyright.PENANAYlf311k0AB
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This simple string of words brought out memories that were linked to a string of years in which I spent looking for something that I was never going to have. Many think that after some time you forget the pains you have felt but it is so wrong. You never forget the pain, instead you grow so accustomed to it that you kind of turn numb towards it. The wounds never vanish but fill up and turn into scars to remind you that every moment of your life , you are alive, you feel pain, you feel happiness, you feel and that's what reminds you that you are alive. You have been through a lot but you have also conquered it and risen above . You can change, you can make a change in your life or in someone else's. You have been given a chance to do something and it maybe the only chance you ever get so you should jump up and grab it as if its the only ball of light in the dark abyss cause it might as well be.826Please respect copyright.PENANAja2Qo2LUyK
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The hazy blue sky blushed into deep purple with stars lining it, the moon once again changed its position and hid behind a veil of a cloud with hope that it could hide him from the darkness in the world, but no, the brightness of it just couldn't be hidden. The frogs croaking and jumping from one leaf to another on the silvery white river cocked their heads at me as if asking me about my presence here at this time. Patience is a Virtue was what I kept repeating to myself but deep within I knew that he would not come, he would not mend and pick up the broken pieces of my puzzle as he promised to do. 826Please respect copyright.PENANAlaOxGLAGZm
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He was what you would call a loyal friend, a kick-ass protector and the perfect swoon worthy boyfriend material but to me he was my support, the glue that kept together the pieces of my life and being.826Please respect copyright.PENANAntgPs1PTUq
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I knew him since I was 12. He was sitting on the porch of my house counting the number of puppies that were playing catch and biting off each others tail in the process. His attention was particularly directed towards the small snow white puppy with black paws who was trying to attain dominance over his fellow siblings. I remember that day as clear as a mother remembers the day her child cried for the first time. I had picked up bubble(the snowy white dog) and handed it over to him which was odd considering that I was the most protective over bubble and I didn't even know the boy sitting on my porch. You can keep him I had muttered softly shocking both him and me. He smiled shyly at me, muttered a quick thanks and then quickly stood up and left with bubble before I could even ask him who he was. Now that I think of it both he and bubble were the same. Both of them acted as if they were alpha's. They both are protective over me, both of them were protective over me and both were gentle and full of soft mush inside. I came to know that he was my mom's friends son.The seed of our friendship was planted from that moment on. no sooner that seed blossomed into a beautiful plant but little did I know then that every thing dies, and so did our blossoming tree.826Please respect copyright.PENANA5Hsu0dsvRG
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I remember our last meeting. This time instead of him I was sitting on the porch of his house waiting for him to come back from his date with some random girl. Tears were streaming down my face ,my body rocked with silent sobs and my heart was barely beating. He soon came. As soon as he saw me in this state, he rushed over to me and pulled my body close to his he then brought me some water and a towel without asking any questions. At first I couldn't understand the reason for him bringing that towel but when he handed it over it all came rushing at me .It was our way of letting out anger, sadness, and stress. I tied the towel around my mouth and screamed. I let out everything ,I let out the sadness I felt when we began drifting away, I screamed out but I couldn't find a way to let out the loneliness and emptiness that was growing each and every moment, feeding on all the happy moments I once had experienced. My mother had left me and my dad a few hours before due to a car crash. I told him everything that happened and all he did was pick me up by my shoulder ,looked into my eyes and promised me that he would always be by my side, would never leave me ,would pick up my broken pieces and join them .826Please respect copyright.PENANABmtj68bPYJ
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He lied.826Please respect copyright.PENANAmXz1r42Nzp
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He never came, he never picked up my pieces , he left. He left me.826Please respect copyright.PENANAePTzQ4al5L
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After a few days my father collapsed due to heart failure. He couldn't bear the loss of my mother. The naive me went again and sat on his porch, waiting, but he never came . 826Please respect copyright.PENANAzKSEBIFcj5
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I picked up my pieces alone, I mended myself, I picked myself up.826Please respect copyright.PENANAgi70YM2PY1
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^18 months^826Please respect copyright.PENANA6dt0U7RExm
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I saw him again. I was in the graveyard visiting my parents when I saw him sitting in front of them. I hid behind a tree nearby so that he could not see me. 826Please respect copyright.PENANA0RjNDVu2m0
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"I have fulfilled what you wanted me to do sir. I let her mend her own life, I let her stand up on her own, I let her weep and mourn on her own and all because she would grow up on her own and let me tell you, if you saw her now , you would be amazed and proud. She has turned into a beautiful, Independent and a women stronger than I could Imagine. It tore me away to see her mourn, to keep her waiting for someone, for me to pick up her pieces but I kept my promise." He said as he choked down tears. 826Please respect copyright.PENANAoHi9yYPoJd
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At that time I could feel my own tears cascading down as I realized that he was with me always but not the one to comfort me, but as the one to guide me. He was always in the shadows, watching me, throwing the lost pieces of my life in front of me so that I could pick them up and mend myself.826Please respect copyright.PENANARaThQ5wxEk
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I realized that we never were a plant . I was the seed, and he was the sunlight, the water and oxygen. He helped me grow and I grew into an ever blossoming tree.826Please respect copyright.PENANAJH6pWP6yRK
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That day I realized that I stood up despite the hurdles pushed my way. That memory of him sitting in front of my father's tombstone was etched into my mind. Those days, those memories were what helped me become into who I am today.
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