你好，我是莊坌但。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLXv9MFl8Z
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLiO4NPyrO
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGcWxftSaL
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2amAl4WrsU
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0rteknGJy
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfs0X0jhKu
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOIidabrIE
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZ74TzjDY6
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBJGgTFevq
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16WpbHlOvN
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOPtuBAqRk
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzhoNsp1Od
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypRhugD8yQ
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfeZArb0Bk
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXOCp2C9CS
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJCvbxDPPb
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5N9BdADQp
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzXrJBg234
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6atbRhATX
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5wt48d0q6
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrx6XNVSFl
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZsoSd7eXJ
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9DlnNJvkl
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJM26yx1lf
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mdaK0C632
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUM5C8nc1J
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfhfiZvVVs
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95WLZRviY2
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3tmscaGWa
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8zFiO5NVm
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhE4fVoqwm
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA629fP1Ymh
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pNyEdwoQI
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0giw6WNUpF
「你好，我是……」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡda1boPHes2
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAB4FLLDaCg
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvOd8mV9FN
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCzzK4MrQv
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BtrfoyeYl
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSk11nA5Gd
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiG7rdvfBFC
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TtlTn3BL8
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjb0WO8iAdi
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrTDNNLuEG
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eTZyi9LA6
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoqg6rahgj
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9bZVWeJfk
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKrIIGv4wk
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLHe2nQfMo
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8snpoZIw7l
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNtm88imvy
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFED1gksxjI
不好啊非常的不好啊！484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjYjsB1na7
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqp1t5GrfYK
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1OovRbHq0
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Zcb7Yz2ah
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bZlKfxAHi
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62uurLTnHr
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLiU5SHt2I
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu0dcnMXN0
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KWse71hNl
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfqBH0CD0a
出了社會，總是得找份工作。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal0Aq9lJPt
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZ9YHIz4Ok
我自己買了台50CC通勤。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctB36j6pim
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYK0SDpjo0
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3F0tPDd0P
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFDEgsFGeH
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0fC5WLiKs
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvNeZi9LDX
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofZUenLPi5
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRbZ78XGPS
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJx7fkG55a
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUrIGiRk6F
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBWNvikXc0
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfx18KpkCW
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwkrwo6v28
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbPwFt4JVb
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChCMsjbdgP
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6aq7yVpuj
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyr63G6W3X
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qA3SZDftw
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbV357TQOgC
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktfipujrZJ
它熄火，我傻眼。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRYxrrdJeh
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybt3cT8LbR
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhozeXwVvi
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aV42HjnyZ
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaeMWZY53Q
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxmhl4Yoot
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtq3QvBPY20
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFAYBDrtzl
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViAW8RD9xu
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRJC0UMC3D
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHWj2hOhqg
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwQQGNpaRu
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUkMCqzwLY
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBND9HbPeY4
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TWCryx0Z1
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8FSvACKJa
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvXTtsgFWn
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