A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvzFPN6URh
-:-969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPun6m08PfO
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmqK323YeB
CHARACTERS969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgNfbCD2Ap
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBC5nE1bCz
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83hxcyyLXq
--969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6N5pRcxN0
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcwj9N4TVP
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXADESoJaZ
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauXrxM1mHW
We don’t have much time.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURiXfrQGZ9
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrwQ7yWafd
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtu1wgGyNQR
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1dxdQJnMl
CECIL969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm69wgUmLZM
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8ZgwDatMj
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kwFj9igKk
I understand you’re upset - 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Lo8WPv5yR
CECIL969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbFLJt7Hjj
I damn well am! 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSRK5qXmDV
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5DH5YvDcT
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNlJ6yLvuI
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECieCUIifU
CECIL969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGUB29T655
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1jyNEfQh7
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48faB293Sy
(slowly)969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknEB5x6xKQ
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEulKope2xu
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjfgQgpwL0
CECIL969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFWsKnx2Dr
What?969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdV83OcI7X
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQcr6vts3E
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBvrBEYZI6
CECIL969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxkhOx6nAk
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqv2KhmpJHj
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSYCI2DGr4
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFKp0E3zEA
CECIL969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUxGM8RTVh
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0JIJ01JCS
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTwEvxYLB7
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpd1BOIqPW1
CECIL969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBQujExFHj
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8psIcvc5xg
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelLT7eOBlm
That may be the case, but look at this.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNSZkqf9un
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3PF0XDcRo
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4FVS3jiAB
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeexH8ixKpC
CECIL969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06scUm6ETO
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvBc8T7AZw
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdA0DM1iQEg
(grimly)969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsSh4LznwB
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHxqYYRKFe
CECIL969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IZ27v7lSk
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiliZrQFBSe
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUks9rcknV
XIUYING969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGq36RQxUM5
Who said anything about paying them off?969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUQATlxJTy
--969Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUBIZi9ZJK
