A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNi0YpskhRq
-:-840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzqNDiEsj2
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAchNHTQ67R
CHARACTERS840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgXX9Kk1o8
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVXRcgJTeU
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAzvFdoxOJ
--840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbSTm9nJP2
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWoj331W0d
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rmcrvqLCd
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXaizt17wI
We don’t have much time.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLfRzKTIqm
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSY5duc9So
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIsihKz5Hm
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeym6sHRMW
CECIL840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6YtdEof9k
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyRA02HFYN
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGWAoQH3oT
I understand you’re upset - 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIFpSWfNw3
CECIL840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydC2RAOnyf
I damn well am! 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PObEiZPTY
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cLhIivnIX
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtI71Qbfbgs
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyePH8bxiPr
CECIL840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwjNryPrsM
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecL3mJHR9A
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppAjEi2y2I
(slowly)840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqF0YkawSif
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZOiEJE4Tm
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYLe6bFBiq
CECIL840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPS4xvxf5dV
What?840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPeLp0r2Uh
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDIWBh7Tim
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlO0t8U1k9A
CECIL840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGTxWUJbnm
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvOz4viOVv
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAzJwA9tnA
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsc5xujgWz6
CECIL840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4F3ixb6U2s
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxe1g6hCl3
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvUB9W7Ypi
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZL5RZXUaJ6
CECIL840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OtWbXdyXG
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPz1YvorNv
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJc3V2skQx
That may be the case, but look at this.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbWmUQucRB
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbZT86lloT
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AZCJPArfg
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDWjwGsoNb
CECIL840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKubLij4QN
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAlRC62f1E
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZTkcgDcxA
(grimly)840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweJQTc94pW
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpxknWueeG
CECIL840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOJPZ99sMn
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJSx7XTjCC
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIhRtwJBQb
XIUYING840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77LTZQIyUa
Who said anything about paying them off?840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSwozDa9uW
--840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTF19hiqgMx
