A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhJjMihzCa
-:-926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7r5gRcEsY
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXWTsb59kA
CHARACTERS926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4CoCtyJor
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSRmt7S1EI
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡro7Lapb4Yb
--926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfADI1IK2TL
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPU7CwTJcM
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIor2u2dqPf
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuLRE81qnd
We don’t have much time.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg46InzwI96
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7R5UQbeoe1
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMK5XAQ7PK
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpmHNcLoaO
CECIL926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VOdRiTIjQ
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPFoxltzBn
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpi1Wny5r4
I understand you’re upset - 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgOsYdXDJ5
CECIL926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97CyeS5VKC
I damn well am! 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXACapKXVrk
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaOWEx4Y9e
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LBMNSudqQ
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uCy2UjjEV
CECIL926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYCajEfdcb
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSP79UDltV
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFhbIoXh93
(slowly)926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwh9L30PH2c
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQ3968tAio
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxkqZX6j4Z
CECIL926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe1wcQnpFd
What?926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqjZ1dehin
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTkZTeqGd7
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVGuDedidn
CECIL926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL761eGIvDL
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDzEtc7ent
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wmZ1E3SG2
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjFj0HDi78
CECIL926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkv18l5Kyu
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIY1cPrSih
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvi7Z0f1qz
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RDgK0OTyf
CECIL926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWih4dFS5x
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ324xsgLIsq
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZP7AdmkwX
That may be the case, but look at this.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VPJICGQfA
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsSrbYAvh5
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJxKaoO0hu
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrXLKQdGrB
CECIL926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c1blhrrxC
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8XGmACMda
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtQBvhvhsI
(grimly)926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgp3LklQJw
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yiDr8HnC8
CECIL926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3DK29NeSx
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJ9sQA6tmR
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWHxGmFIw7
XIUYING926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwqrlSpoYZ
Who said anything about paying them off?926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGFqUayEQs
--926Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmkumMTmWE
