A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvntyxpYLY
-:-869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqe0npSrPiK
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubet3Uih6i
CHARACTERS869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX13DzsjgKF
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXEGbql2UD
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqk8wrl8j7q
--869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpqvfL5Ru5
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvbHcUSZgr
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUjhZBaoQ5
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUWd2pEU7a
We don’t have much time.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqOQQrXsMB
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsF2qcY8C1T
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7J8T1gJUnF
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXlpaxMCVu
CECIL869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYC1P6EO09w
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4AWmZPhE7
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7veTf2LwXM
I understand you’re upset - 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiFETwuGig
CECIL869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh57g92CfwB
I damn well am! 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpRMLrSGy0
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYnG8Olgcy
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVkOIuneAa
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1W0AV9iov
CECIL869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAbLTpDyHZ
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPygirwf91S
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmAzYIpNa4
(slowly)869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhMavgLovH
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKauytYvA1d
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DRzcAzyfW
CECIL869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIrrTv8Jig
What?869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdLwoOXIgG
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9H0TSwlXa
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMeG4nrGnw
CECIL869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RohGdJp1P
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lBlFTWtq6
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMp5X19m2c
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWU6a1ycW8G
CECIL869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaGLXgAQli
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwvTcMGgMi
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqHNAe8kfg
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlgpPpaR0c
CECIL869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehLMKxNxqP
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfNS9XG1rN
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnUMPIHFEZ
That may be the case, but look at this.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNNnWk15Hb
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rb5TeGtJy
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRhhsgBfjN
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxKLfrkB24
CECIL869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQdnJyxPM1
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDLrnuNfCi
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TqqdC1ISR
(grimly)869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BFBlEHSve
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1dUHxmpTB
CECIL869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscdX0W3aU4
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcP9MzESUJ
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwhqvoM3mp
XIUYING869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRj1dsr4syG
Who said anything about paying them off?869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqK1Z5VseP
--869Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxMexTAJj6
