A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaC0Vbvm3cl
-:-824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7haoC84GX
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoWru5qaiY
CHARACTERS824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnrvlI4szD
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWaKhA1frJ
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnP7IuoDOCt
--824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1A9wLwa5pc
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnT8qRqvdeo
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WndSEYibl
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rnpEBl3Tp
We don’t have much time.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXagAoluYT
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDmVawShTJ
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfczUtxLzw
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVropw8tBt
CECIL824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZybfddeP59
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4Q6S41Pc6
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJigDEUY5x
I understand you’re upset - 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLeTSGEVnQ
CECIL824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMdvzjcBgd
I damn well am! 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYMJ0tvYL7
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJ0WKqWks6
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUgS0WUNky
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFC2EJslOK
CECIL824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUO97QvPlzh
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbamlX1Rn8
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3978pBf8Qo
(slowly)824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqb2drIwAPF
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaq8sfsVg8
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRj6z8rrESL
CECIL824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig0QH1Q72m
What?824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlVNVA0UqP
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7ttfeWtcl
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNgdr1tpvj
CECIL824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrVnsn95eO
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVPvb6M6UU
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1FeDaxHFf
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKyVTbDaj6
CECIL824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPpl5vcqsN
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqC43AYjTzj
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OFP7sKDI1
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Vn1WgVwyr
CECIL824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1itj1MFNHm
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2bjB8M37N
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12R3CnSLof
That may be the case, but look at this.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6Y3DxCXHr
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo80Eb06yoL
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7RX0MJLBV
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qd4cN68ZH
CECIL824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpemI82WTRE
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IFdK7HvnL
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxowXG9UM3
(grimly)824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny2wnHvlNX
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRZE7Xo47s
CECIL824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4Zq6PGK3Q
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC553p2L8kQ
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMRf4IBsJP
XIUYING824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf65xsHi3fd
Who said anything about paying them off?824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRxKIlffLu
--824Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45ey2B01Jl
