實在是個很難三言兩語說完的話題。638Please respect copyright.PENANAQcPJQ3ECwh
當一件事情已經深深融入了生命,而且被再三思考過它的存在意義,到突然要我去把它描述出來,實在有點反應不來,深怕言之無物,又怕糟蹋了剖析它的機會。638Please respect copyright.PENANAyovQAwtGF6
形容生命的本質本來就是一種消耗生命的活動。638Please respect copyright.PENANAskgYLBhLel
對於一個生命力脆弱的我,談論寫作實在是在玩火,不過姑且就引火自焚一次吧!638Please respect copyright.PENANAKjQRC1paHX
***638Please respect copyright.PENANAnBlapmAziw
第一次寫作的嘗試是在小一的時候,那時候寫了一個個小故事在紙片上,同學們竟賞面如圖書館借書般借閱去了,這是我第一次遇見愛說故事的謊言領主。638Please respect copyright.PENANALlHHPQPrl4
謊言領主給了我兩條路,畫畫或者寫作,對比起來寫作實在容易上手得多,於是就寫作吧!638Please respect copyright.PENANAzuIZLxEUmJ
它無害的笑容實在吸引,有誰能抵抗它的誘拐呢?638Please respect copyright.PENANA4L6ETinvCA
那時我還未有精神健康的問題,創作的過程是愉悅的,生命的一切都看似美好和無毒。638Please respect copyright.PENANAfHOrqE32cZ
然而某日,我心裡的某個零件就停止了轉動,壞掉了,從齒輪中離群,一下掉入了水底,水都黑了,深黑到無窮之中。638Please respect copyright.PENANASm3CL4t07T
突然之間,寫作向我揭示了它的本體。638Please respect copyright.PENANADwc7lMkUHN
突然之間,寫作變得很難。638Please respect copyright.PENANACTGLX3HWNO
我現在寫作一篇五千至一萬字的短篇故事,大概需要半年的時間,當中觸及的創傷太嚴重,無力詳述,只得簡化為如下規律:638Please respect copyright.PENANAfaY07mGsV0
想到好玩的點子638Please respect copyright.PENANApIQGjd7zO8
開始下墜了。638Please respect copyright.PENANAWZQfxWtl7l
搜集資料638Please respect copyright.PENANAgPPK3NAdr0
然後我越墜越深。638Please respect copyright.PENANArGv9v4eec1
開始寫作638Please respect copyright.PENANAaFzNkniSR2
痛苦,掙扎,否定自己,長期處於脫力狀態,床上痛哭,孤立自己,夜夜惡夢,再痛哭,感覺自己很髒 …… 638Please respect copyright.PENANA4FPOHTQIdm
太髒了 ……638Please respect copyright.PENANAfz9B8hdcn0
為甚麼你沒有死?638Please respect copyright.PENANADGBtRYoXRj
寫作結束638Please respect copyright.PENANAbnaP2h7ojw
從六個月的低落中回彈,突然覺得自己是無所不能的,不用睡覺也很精神。638Please respect copyright.PENANAgux0PESuL1
可惜寫作為我帶來的快樂只能保質三天。638Please respect copyright.PENANA4QZQrlEQVf
然後又是下一個迴圈了。638Please respect copyright.PENANA91WzaGAuUp
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你說寫作是救了我還是在殺死我呢?638Please respect copyright.PENANAyqpSUV5rHf
但我已離不開了你呢!愛說故事的謊言領主。638Please respect copyright.PENANA824PCvL1W4
我成為了社工碩士,再計劃將來在精神病專業上進攻博士學位,大概都是為了瞭解人心,為了故事。638Please respect copyright.PENANAkOHVSfzzL1
同時為了我的死亡。638Please respect copyright.PENANA03QNDMzMce
寫作即是自我毀滅。638Please respect copyright.PENANACKZmLY9iAc
我別無出路。638Please respect copyright.PENANACmMK6tlIlG