目送著駱輝離開的郭伊絲陷入長久沉默之中,從她眉頭深鎖的表情看來,似乎有些事已經困擾她好一段時間,而她根本束手無策。站在她身旁的弟弟看了她一眼,問道:「家姐,到底嗰個人係咩來頭?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAPsrL4fNgZ4
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「......」220Please respect copyright.PENANAvtXbudZ14A
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「家姐!」220Please respect copyright.PENANA7jrMrS6lKv
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郭伊絲從沉思中驚醒,忙道:「伊騏?你頭先講咩呀?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAcVfr97Ek1E
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名叫郭伊騏的青年沒好氣的說道:「我係問,頭先嗰條友係咩來頭呀。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAZaYW46yWsg
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「佢係杜嵐嘅男朋友。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAjFmNyJqk7t
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郭伊騏恍然大悟,「原來係男朋友。」然後他忽然意會了甚麼似的大叫:「吓?頭先嗰條友?」220Please respect copyright.PENANASJyeARgfG5
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郭伊絲若有所思的點點頭,「......我都估唔到佢會失驚無神返嚟呢到。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAD7WB6PkyLB
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「佢係嚟搵呀嵐架?」220Please respect copyright.PENANABUFK8wt6Ux
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「嗯。不過佢唔知道呀嵐已經......」220Please respect copyright.PENANAyDDUhzuHJh
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「哦......」220Please respect copyright.PENANA2Qiy17YCsC
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「好喇。」郭伊絲伸了個懶腰,「我要返村喇,你記得好好咁看門口呀。」220Please respect copyright.PENANARDaO3AefpR
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「講到我好似看門狗咁......」220Please respect copyright.PENANAlYoKYtnI8H
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郭伊絲嫣然一笑,伸高手摸摸比她高出不止一個頭的弟弟的頭頂,笑道:「拜拜,汪汪!」220Please respect copyright.PENANAsrS9cSLOc4
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「唉,你鐘意啦。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAO2U0RwPBVm
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郭伊絲離開後,郭伊騏看著前方道路,駱輝的背影早已隱沒在馬路轉角的盡頭。中午的太陽不算猛烈,然而一絲風也沒有。馬路上滿是一個多月前的風暴帶來的雜物,兩旁的樹木橫七豎八的倒臥著。這樣荒涼的景色,自從她們一個月前遷移到黑沙圍後,就一直沒有任何變化。此時百無聊賴的郭伊騏腦海盡是那個在床上的瘦弱身影:220Please respect copyright.PENANAk90sgxAzx3
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「男朋友呀?......」220Please respect copyright.PENANA6h06A09ezj
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郭伊絲回到村子後,馬上收起只有和弟弟獨處時才會顯露的笑容,再度擺出一幅冷冰冰的樣子。村中對喪屍不抱負面態度的村民向她打招呼時,她也只是微微頷首;奔跑中的孩子瞧見了她則馬上停下,向她揮手道:「郭伊絲!郭伊絲!」當她手一揚向他們致意時,孩子們就在一片哄笑聲中跑開了,繼續你追我逐的遊戲;更多的村民,停下手上事務,不動聲色地看著她走過,然後原本在高聲交談的人群,忽然低聲交頭接耳。看在眼內的郭伊絲,沒有感到任何異樣,彷彿一切不過是從千篇一律的日常隨便剪輯下來的毫無驚喜的片段。220Please respect copyright.PENANAIJxrDwwxHx
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她一直走到村子北部某一棟毫不起眼的房子前——這村子所有建築物都是一個樣子——停下,熟練地走上房子二樓,推開虛掩的的卧室木門,向床上那個瘦削的身影說道:「我趕走咗佢喇。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAlBHM5jRhz8
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床上的身影沒有回應,連任何表示她已經聽到的身體反應也欠奉,彷彿郭伊絲只不過是在對一具屍體自言自語。220Please respect copyright.PENANAbsldKOlDTu
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郭伊絲在旁邊抄了張椅子,椅背面向床地坐下,頭伏在椅背上,懶洋洋的說道:「喂,你仲打算絕食到幾時?你就嚟死喇喎。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAcGkkzuw2O9
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那人依舊不聞不問,郭伊絲接連喊了她好幾次也是這樣。郭依絲在旁邊的茶几撿了一把木尺,戳了對方幾下,「喂,唔係真係死咗吓話。」220Please respect copyright.PENANALThoHdosbP
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那人不勝其煩,終於低聲回道:「......唔好搞啦。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAj8O6aLnBdl
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郭伊絲笑道:「終於肯應我喇咩,呀嵐。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAN7pLaWQBws
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「......」220Please respect copyright.PENANA6RXRClIWkJ
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「話說,我哋到底算係仍然生存定係已經死咗,呢個都已經係問題,哈哈哈!」220Please respect copyright.PENANAeiR47bXzdK
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「......」220Please respect copyright.PENANApMf2glr3Zq
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郭伊絲笑道:「你唔理我就算啦,點解連駱輝都唔理呢?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAkKq2zsCIGr
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杜嵐仍然維持剛才不理不睬的態度,郭伊絲逕自續道:「唉,駱輝見到你唔喺嗰到嘅時候,成塊臉白哂,然後發咗癲咁搵均哂全間屋......其實只不過係想搵條屍啫,我就唔明點解要咁著緊嘞,人死不能復生吖嘛,雖然你真係復活咗......其實如果佢夠冷靜嘅話,見到你訓過嗰張床竟然係乾乾淨淨,連少少屍水都冇,就應該估到你已經變成喪屍,如果佢呢個時候再同我對質嘅話,我都冇信心可以隱瞞落去......喂,畀啲反應好喎,唔好搞到我好似個自言自語嘅癲婆咁先得架......」220Please respect copyright.PENANAcq6t7BCIfl
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她靠了過去,想看看杜嵐的反應,這時才發現,杜嵐雙目緊閉,已經淚流滿臉。她這時才收起本來嘻皮笑臉的態度,臉色也沉了下來。她站起,把椅子轉好,重新坐下,說道:「......其實你根本唔需要咁做。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAsXIxQesj3U
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「我......我而家咁嘅樣......」220Please respect copyright.PENANAe5nKt2NqAs
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「咁又點呢?如果佢真係愛你嘅話,根本就唔會介意你變成咩樣。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAoZIS5dsykr
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「我就係知道佢唔會介意,我先唔可以去見佢!」杜嵐嗚咽道:「人同喪屍,咁樣根本唔會有未來!......」220Please respect copyright.PENANAhS5qkZPsat
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「你都真係幾殘忍。」郭伊絲長長嘆了口氣,「我從來都未見過,一個活人嘅眼神,竟然同喪屍冇分別......你嘅死對佢嘅打擊,比你想像中大好多。」220Please respect copyright.PENANANiptDsZU68
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「就算係咁,佢終有一日......終有一日會忘記。」220Please respect copyright.PENANA9aMdzw1Qa1
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郭伊絲搔搔頭,低聲道:「所以我先話你好殘忍呀。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAwm84wURWhR
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「唔通令佢再傷心多一次,再欺騙佢,我哋會有未來......咁樣唔係更殘忍咩?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAJgN1oEOSdM
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郭伊絲喃喃說道:「就算係咁......都未必......」她覺得自己有甚麼想說,卻卡在喉嚨,說不出口。220Please respect copyright.PENANAV0Yb2qfJNF
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「你知道嗎,經過嗰件事之後,我先明白,我之前係幾咁幼稚。」杜嵐因為饑餓而深陷眼窩的雙眼盯著天花板,哭腫了的眼圈令眼睛看來陷得更深,「死抱虛無飄渺嘅希望,最後咩人都拯救唔到,甚至連自己都拯救唔到......然後我終於發覺,呢一切根本係一個大話。希望本身就係一個包裝精美嘅謊言。我竟然要死過一次先明白呢點,真係可笑。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAs1wyuAjFNN
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「咁你打算點做,知道根本冇所謂嘅希望之後?好似而家咁,選擇自暴自棄?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAYAIhYLWwmC
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「反正做咩都好,到最後都係冇意義。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAg7hsEZiKGc
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「如果要講意義嘅話,我諗意義唔係在於行動嘅結果,而係在於行動本身掛。」郭伊絲撥了一下及肩的長發,遲疑說道:「嗯,應該點講呢?我覺得......重點其實在於,我哋到底想成為點樣嘅人。有好多事,我哋根本控制唔到結果係點,但起碼......最起碼,你可以選擇要成為點樣嘅人。」220Please respect copyright.PENANATFuhQD7MHL
「如果最後嘅行動,反而導致相反嘅結果呢?譬如話,你希望救一個人,最後嗰個人反而因為你嘅行動而死,你仲可以宣稱,你嘅行動出於高尚,所以嗰個人嘅死,責任唔在於你?又譬如,假如目的同手段係完全相反......用所謂必要之惡去實現,你仲可以宣稱,自己嘅行動其實係出於高尚嘅目的?你知道呢條村發生過嘅事架。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAYP7FJorXr3
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「我嘅意思並唔係你咁樣做就可以撇清,行動帶嚟嘅一切後果。」郭伊絲眉頭深鎖,本來打算說服杜嵐,讓她停止絕食,但現在自己似乎反而因為對方而動搖,「我自己覺得,行動之前應該要有覺悟,要承擔起一切嘅後果,否則就唔應該去做。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAf6IyWtV5sX
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杜嵐冷冷一笑:「唔通你就認為自己有能力去承擔一切嘅後果,無論後果係幾咁嚴重都好?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAIE9QSsX2gx
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郭伊絲平靜地回道:「咁我只有令自己有能力去承擔。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAGrQITbX7h9
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杜嵐把頭轉向郭伊絲——一直以來她都是在盯著天花板說話——凝視著郭伊絲那雙和自己一樣血紅的眼睛,「......我就當你有能力。就算係咁......你憑咩話自己嘅行為就係出於善?喺呢個失去一切基礎嘅世界,失去善惡準則嘅世界,每個人都宣稱自己代表真理嘅世界?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAas4vkrsfWz
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郭伊絲看著杜嵐,似乎觸摸到她內心深處的困惑。杜嵐躺床的這段期間,這些問題一直像鬼魅般纏擾著她,甚至可能就是她拒絕進食的原因。220Please respect copyright.PENANAs5E3Z7n2zF
「咁我唯有......」郭伊絲驚訝地發現,自己竟然開始顫抖起來,「我唯有遵循我自己嘅準則......遵循我自己嘅良心。」220Please respect copyright.PENANA52XInpBbXu
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「就連你迫我食人肉,都係遵循你嘅良心?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAcauCLCLxKs
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——先前杜嵐絕食已經兩個星期有多,如果算上她死前的時間,她已經絕食超過一個月。人類在水份充足的情況下,絕食超過一個月的例子也大有人在,然而有先例不代表每個人也做到。杜嵐變成喪屍後,當然試過去食人類的食物,然而她吃下的毫不例外地,完全沒有消化過就排出體外,而她身體則繼續消瘦下來。杜嵐倒也不是一開始就要絕食,只是因為人類食物她不能消化,人肉她又不願吃,出於不想浪費資源下才拒絕進食。畢竟,其實只有一開始的一星期最難熬,之後的時間其實饑餓感已經大大下降......這一點她先前就已經領教過了。220Please respect copyright.PENANAJMajoiHGLb
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然而,即使她已經成為喪屍,但誰也不能保證她不會餓死,又或者身體機能不會受到永久損傷,而杜嵐先前的情況似乎已經虛弱得快要餓死。故此,郭伊絲多番死磨軟求都不果後,強行把人肉——喪屍目前為止唯一可以消化的東西,塞入她嘴裡迫她吃下,保存了杜嵐性命的同時,也令杜嵐對她反感起來。220Please respect copyright.PENANAzXPwWCGcxS
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郭伊絲怒道:「我咁樣做係為咗救你呀!」220Please respect copyright.PENANA3vDoz6SeEe
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「真係奇怪。」杜嵐臉上掛著一抹冷笑:「你先前強調行動本身嘅意義,咁我想成為一個『唔屈服於喪屍食人嘅本質,因而餓死』嘅喪屍,咁又有咩問題呢?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAtARhpk0Wm7
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「有問題!好大嘅問題!」郭伊絲猛然站起,「問題在於你太早放棄!對喪屍而言,食人呢件事到底代表啲咩——到底『可以』代表啲咩,呢一點你太早落定論!甚至連喪屍係咪必須要靠食人維生,而世上係咪有食人以外嘅方法,你諗都冇諗過,就竟然想放棄!如果咁樣真係有意義——如果一定要用『意義』去解釋嘅話——咁你就只不過係懦夫!」220Please respect copyright.PENANA82d30Y3uoz
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「咁我寧願去做懦夫。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAT0Abi5wt7r
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郭伊絲倏然沉默。她看著杜嵐把臉埋進被窩的樣子,讓她想起當初剛剛變成這個模樣的自己時,無數次想要自殺的那段時光。拯救了她的是終端的一句話——儘管這句話本身不過是一段陳述,而它本身訴說的反而更像是詛咒,而不是把人從虛無深淵拯救出來的救命稻草——220Please respect copyright.PENANAMuYFTv45mk
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「你只有生存落嚟,先可以去選擇。呢句係終端同我講嘅說話,而家我將呢一句送轉送畀你。我知道要去選擇係好困難,要去承擔就更加困難,而我哋根本冇辦法唔去選擇,呢個就係生存係咁痛苦嘅原因。」郭伊絲頓了頓,「......而就算呢一切係咁痛苦都好,每一秒都好似畀火燒咁辛苦都好,我只係想你明白一點:我會陪住你。呢句係我私人送畀你嘅。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAwWxQmGrIP9
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說罷,郭伊絲就靜靜的離開了,留下把臉埋入被褥中哭泣不止的杜嵐。220Please respect copyright.PENANAoNOgP4kR6m
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就在當晚,杜嵐終於願意進食,然而她的身體十分虛弱,直至她恢復進食的一星期後才可以下床活動,這時距離那場後來被稱為九龍巷戰的戰役的爆發已經過了整整三日。220Please respect copyright.PENANAt74AtXbP7w