祈祈抵家時,適逢母親剛剛預備好晚餐。她立即更衣梳洗,然後幫忙端菜到餐枱。503Please respect copyright.PENANAsp8OyKM6al
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自從童黨一事曝光後,母親大受打擊,情緒異常暴躁。非單氣走僱用多年的家傭姐姐,還需到精神科看診,長期服藥。作為過來人,祈祈深切明白那是何樣的一種感受。她心軟下來,答應父親,好好修補母女之間的關係。503Please respect copyright.PENANAwLSi3vySoF
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席間,三人有講有笑,好不融洽。503Please respect copyright.PENANAb8Let1f1Up
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母親久違的笑容令「好」與「壞」的界線變得含混不清。這笑容是用藥物換來的,孰好孰壞?為了保留這笑容而對問題的根源視而不見,孰好孰壞?這種虛假的融洽家庭關係,孰好孰壞?祈祈越來越不知道該如何抉擇。503Please respect copyright.PENANA7uuwybGP6u
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她驀地想起阿藍和阿藍媽舊日的僵持關係:如果自己勇敢一點,堅持表達不滿,大概會落得和阿藍差不多的下場吧。禍福相倚,阿藍受襲失憶,忘記與阿藍媽的不咬弦,無意間給予母女二人一個和好的上佳機會。阿藍媽識趣地改變心態,加上楠少從旁指導,阿藍的家庭問題得以完美解決。503Please respect copyright.PENANAHygGbkflCW
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飯後,祈祈洗碗時,發現廚房亂糟糟的。難怪,畢竟母親是個職業女性,少有接觸家頭細務,平日依賴家傭姐姐處理一切。現在,因祈祈的緣故,她辭去高薪厚職,當個全職家庭主婦。聽父親說,母親做家務時雞手鴨腳的,時而不小心捽破水晶飾物,時而誤將容易變形的衣物放到洗衣機裡一併清洗,時而將鹽和糖混淆……503Please respect copyright.PENANAIcSgUhtIHT
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能夠作出如此重大的改變,除了因為愛,還可以是甚麼?連倔強的母親亦願意退讓,自己還要自私到何年何月?難道要母親整輩子不停遷就自己嗎?祈祈暗罵自己的不孝與不懂事。503Please respect copyright.PENANAepu7waknJu
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洗碗後,父母硬拉著她聊天。503Please respect copyright.PENANAUegJGOpT9h
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「我們不會再阻撓你和光仔發展,但希望你可以到外地升學。托展國際視野,豐富人生經驗,肯定對日後找工作有正面影響。」父親出奇不意地將話題由「光仔」轉移至「升學」之上。「我的舊同事有三名兒女,全都在外地升學,對這方面頗有心得。他……」503Please respect copyright.PENANAwReJpVvhCi
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「我們將會舉家移民嗎?」祈祈詫異。503Please respect copyright.PENANAEPIDNGCdGY
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「不。只是想你在外地升學而已。這跟移民有必然關係嗎?」父親不解。503Please respect copyright.PENANAvwZWZPDf7Y
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「既然最後是要回來,何不一開始就不離開?外出見識過就一定是好事?世態瞬息萬變,我留在這裡緊貼本地潮流豈不更好?有沒有前途並非只建基於學歷,還有個人能力和……」祈祈一口氣拋出大堆道理。503Please respect copyright.PENANAzPxurCP90b
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「你知道自己在講甚麼嗎?我明白你想留在這裡,卻總不能晦氣地押上前途!的確,前途並非只建基於學歷,但外出見見世面總比坐井觀天好。你沒理由會不明白!」父親面對強詞奪理的祈祈,耐性頓失。503Please respect copyright.PENANAOK21nD4RBD
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「我明白,但我就是不想!我不要去到一個全然陌生的地方,睡在一張全然陌生的床。每天對著聊不來的陌生人,吃不對胃口的食物……」突如其來的恐懼挑起了祈祈的敏感神經,一幕幕半真半假的畫面在她腦海中不斷縈迴。503Please respect copyright.PENANA6ZV5UM3eFC
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她被排斥、被孤立、被欺凌。在那所小房子裡,童黨把她壓在地上,扒光她的衣服。身邊沒有光仔,沒有楠少,沒有志恆,沒有阿藍,沒有馨儀……503Please respect copyright.PENANA2Jo1O4AaU5
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「別孩子氣!不知多少人想到外地留學卻苦無機會!」父親氣得面紅耳赤,沒留意到祈祈的不對勁。503Please respect copyright.PENANAWXSLwCBBtb
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「那就讓別人去吧!」祈祈越講越激動,將壓抑已久的心底話全都拋出來。「人家想要,不代表我想要!你們想要,不代表我想要!」503Please respect copyright.PENANADW4h57N5fr
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「我們想你活得好而已……」父親被祈祈嚇了一大跳,連忙放軟聲線。503Please respect copyright.PENANAcSJGWljDUt
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「你們認為我現在活得好嗎?」祈祈怒火燒心,轉身回睡房,更將自己反鎖房內,懶理父母在門外苦口規勸。503Please respect copyright.PENANAdpTprK3yEk
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兩老的聲音很煩人,祈祈隨手擸來書架上的玻璃獎盃飛擲房門上。獎盃應聲碎裂,兩老立即噤若寒蟬,不敢亂作聲,直到門後傳來祈祈的哽咽:「我需要時間冷靜一會兒。」503Please respect copyright.PENANAx0ilMxESKp
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看見書桌上那粉紅色的情侶掛飾,祈祈不期然想起光仔。猶豫了好一會,她掏出手提電話,發訊息予他。503Please respect copyright.PENANAX8eQ6r1LIv
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祈:在休息嗎?503Please respect copyright.PENANAh4JLXerKyD
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光:寒窗苦讀中。503Please respect copyright.PENANABf8Coclslx
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祈:乖。503Please respect copyright.PENANATAwUfZIGcK
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(附上粉紅色情侶掛飾的照片)503Please respect copyright.PENANABKXjK1zZ4y
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光:我也有。503Please respect copyright.PENANAlBjjhCyq4a
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(附上粉藍色情侶掛飾的照片)503Please respect copyright.PENANAKAfsyjgaEo
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祈:好!放過你吧!503Please respect copyright.PENANAC7jV6Li5Cp
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光:叩謝女神!咦?這個時間……你怎麼還沒睡?503Please respect copyright.PENANAtPLLuPaWos
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祈:我在思考未來。503Please respect copyright.PENANAIBqWRan6oH
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光:不用擔心!你的成績那麼好,必定可以考入大學!503Please respect copyright.PENANACPb9YJDWOj
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祈:不是這個問題……503Please respect copyright.PENANArQqEhyeKIh
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(靜默了一分鐘)503Please respect copyright.PENANAeKMZwTYZqr
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祈:畢業後,不如我們一起租屋住,好嗎?503Please respect copyright.PENANA5YuE453P9s
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光:你剛和父母吵架嗎?503Please respect copyright.PENANAc1Jx0ep5qf
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祈:答我。好嗎?503Please respect copyright.PENANAHNqKqqrYk5
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光:我們沒有足夠的金錢。學費、租金、水電煤開支、膳食、交通……503Please respect copyright.PENANAfaY1RGwwnT
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祈:我會立即投身社會工作,不再繼續升學。再加上我手上的銀行儲蓄,該足夠應付日常開支。503Please respect copyright.PENANAD9yqp4lP4M
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光:生活不是那麼簡單。503Please respect copyright.PENANAzkYeY2ZdOC
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祈:會有多複雜呢?千萬不要被我媽媽的說話影響到!503Please respect copyright.PENANALXS1yUpNF7
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光:甚麼說話?503Please respect copyright.PENANAKUgizcN4r3
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祈:我昏迷時清楚聽到你們的對話!503Please respect copyright.PENANAenwZ6XfeUg
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(光仔關掉通訊軟件,致電祈祈)503Please respect copyright.PENANAVjNdACthoI
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光:祈祈!你還好嗎?有頭暈嗎?503Please respect copyright.PENANAygy8zFWw1v
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祈:少許……503Please respect copyright.PENANAPVHmFNadRR
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光:快吃點糖果。503Please respect copyright.PENANAJTCcIeioAn
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祈:不了。他們在廳裡。我寧可在房裡多呆一會兒……慢著!別拉開話題,快回答我!503Please respect copyright.PENANAm76ByGVuo5
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光:認真,我們目前沒有足夠的經濟條件。待畢業後工作兩三年,努力儲蓄,那就有機會。503Please respect copyright.PENANAmePTNqJyob
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祈:真的沒能畢業後立即走嗎?503Please respect copyright.PENANAeARttVU6q5
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光:假設我找到一份月薪一萬元的工作,再扣掉強積金,還剩下九千五百元。假設我和你的每月的實際收入一樣,二人合共有一萬九千元。合租一個實用面積二百五十平方呎的單位,月租一萬元,包管理費、差餉、地租。另有水電煤開支,每個月約五百元。餘下的八千五百元,要包括二人的日常基本開支,包括交通費、膳食費、電話費、上網費、雜項……根本沒有餘錢!還未計及租屋前要預繳的高昂按金。503Please respect copyright.PENANAhlMym6HJSy
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祈:你那麼知道價錢的……503Please respect copyright.PENANADJpNelqV06
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光:我……我曾計劃和你在外邊一起生活的。503Please respect copyright.PENANA3UHEgyeIFR
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祈:好!我們一起努力,畢業後工作兩三年,努力儲蓄,租屋同住!503Please respect copyright.PENANA38oh677nXr
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聽見祈祈的情緒平伏下來後,光仔才敢鬆一口氣,借口家人喚他做家務,匆匆掛線。離開鋪滿參考書的書枱,軟癱床上,呆望天花。久久沒能入睡,思緒在愛情和未來之間來回跳躍,時而甜蜜,時而痛苦。他細思過往的一切一切,越想越心灰。503Please respect copyright.PENANAK5EXmyiAJe
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冷不防,手提電話突然響起。沒有來電顯示……不認識的人?503Please respect copyright.PENANAEGnkubefrz
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猶豫片刻,光仔決定接聽:「喂?」503Please respect copyright.PENANABQH7cs4bwp
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「請問是光仔嗎?」對方是一名男子,聲音似曾相識。503Please respect copyright.PENANANGWX4qch6a
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「我是。」光仔猜不出對方的身份:「你是誰?」503Please respect copyright.PENANAtWQS08zvjb
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「祈祈父親。」對方的聲線很沉重,無奈又無力。「我想約你見面。」