根據居民的指示，我沿著竹林小徑走了一整天，終於到達目的地：一間全竹結構的寺廟。它比我預想中更為破落，冷冷清清的。我抬頭望向高高懸掛在山門的匾額，寫著「竹寺」。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDULWDb2Cn
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡje9qp798kD
蠻有意思的名字。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtuQ3hVP5R
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSyF1lYDLw
當我正要邁步內進時，一個打扮樸素的瘦削大叔剛好開門踏出。四目交投，雙方都愣住了幾秒。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVc5WvFp5s
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEejlQdbeg
「歡迎內進。」沒等我回答，大叔已轉身為我引路。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrDhUfJVY4
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrW17WpXrsD
眼見天色漸暗，我不再磨蹭，看能否找到綫索，省卻逗留此地的時間：「不好意思喔，大叔！請問黃XX女士住在這裡嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84HDJEHqxa
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpNKiFu92T
大叔的腳步突兀地戛然而止。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FlupHFS28
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2hFvTXkNc
是我的提問過於唐突嗎？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHf1QZ1wje4
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdc0J2WXl6
大叔回頭仔細打量我，神色疑惑，似乎在猜測我和黃女士的關係。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlirLzGODuz
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HbUtv1kZ6
「有人託我將信件親手轉交予黃女士。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUcOlpmM1B
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPqfKxi7z8
「黃女士已離開這裡好一段時間，不知何時會回來……甚或是不知會否回來。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtI00KqEJac
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3LBA2dUU9
「她有透露去處嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAQGl7Ip1r
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSa9AR4iYhk
「沒有……我帶你去她昔日的房間試找綫索。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCpiePmTF9
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJe2vIXgnK
大叔再次邁步，步履沒有之前的輕，重若銀鉛。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANXB8vH5wP
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXsLtnYMGh
陰冷的空氣，空洞的房間，慘白的牆身，最基本的傢俬和雜物。沒有生活的氣息。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc2POcOM9l
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6LlWZnPuq
「剛才在門外碰見你，也還真令我驚訝。」大叔沒有進入房間，逕自在門外呢呢喃喃。「竹寺曾香火鼎盛。後來毗鄰的兩個小鎮分別新建更大更金碧輝煌的寺廟，無意間將信眾分流開去，到來竹寺掛單的僧侶亦逐漸減少，住持最終徇眾要求到另一寺廟主持大局。他指派我長駐於此，打掃清潔，說要方便途經的旅客。我一直覺得他想多了，豈料今天就遇見你。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdULNsXH1jD
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWMNtkzzNF
「可能佛祖不想我白走一趟。」我話中有話，提醒侍奉佛祖的大叔不要忘記佛祖的存在，萬萬不能撒謊。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaQMZ4V47u
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIWKnwmu0G
「我可以明天帶你見住持。他有掛單紀錄，可能有黃女士的聯絡資料。」大叔也不是省油的燈，簡單幾句就將我逼至沒有退路的位置：「但我希望你能先對我坦白事情的前因後果。住持是個大忙人。我可不希望為他增添不必要的麻煩。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0zkD7Lvdx
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mSl3d8Psa
我只得坦白交代。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNwrPRPtg2
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L2g6EDY19
我的妻子過身了。臨終前，她希望我能預留一年時間為她完成唯一的遺願：親手將遺書交予離家出走多年的生母——黃女士。事隔多年，黃女士曾在多個地方落腳。我每次根據綫索趕至時，她早已遷居。輾轉間，我追尋至竹寺……371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiFwaeR0tw
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtP1og4Bnj5
「距離一年限期，還剩多少日子？」大叔生起關切之情。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnbTPAcLkQ
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPt6KKVWrR
「三日。竹寺很可能是我的最後機會。」我加倍留意他的神色舉止。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzT1xb6x3V
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOqnyfcWHk
「不考慮延長？」大叔表現出來的的關切絕對超過一個陌生人該有的限度。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTLgk4sLDC
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkGW14fe9N
「妻子信緣份。她認為努力過後仍沒能找到，證明彼此有緣無份，毋須強求。她還叮囑我要燒毀遺書。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIX2ZXU6Ab
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqciuuNmRYS
大叔若有所思後，講出驚人的一句：「若果一年期限屆滿時仍找不到黃女士，介意給我看看遺書嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9LtgE6X7f
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0O3xKdQHX
「極度介意！」我心裡認定大叔有事隱瞞。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOf37E3gj0
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFWXAYZFUj
尷尬氣氛令大叔不再多話。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZb6Wzmo8Dv
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLj0MsGaRB
晚餐後，大叔在其他地方忙著，我則留在房間對著愛妻的照片痛哭一場。哭過以後，壓力得以紓緩，但心頭卻未能添加半分澄明，混沌混濁。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxlGkaeQRb
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9nnGbsO1Z
我離房在寺內溜達散心。逛著逛著，忽爾看見大叔彎腰對著花園中的小樹喁喁細語，臉上盡是蜜甜。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDfwO1tSIJ
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS15edm1anX
我上前跟大叔打招呼。他微笑回應，和顏悅色，渾身散發著慈祥氣息，沒有白天時的隔膜。我嘗試放下戒心，開心見誠與他聊天。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCn3yQUDcA
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5QuSc7PGc
不知怎地，聊著聊著，話題竟牽到大叔的心事去。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAOxLb95w4
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7eYPnK53U
「貪，使人執著於一切順情之境。嗔，使人執著於一切違情之境。痴，使人不明白真理，致使生起貪嗔。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ769TvhUtQ
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zqiTjpVac
我痴愚半生，痛苦不已。到此地求法，希望住持指點迷津。但他認為我凡心未盡，要我留在這裡靜思。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKoyYnCLdI
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQJFQvRtmD
我在竹寺侍奉多年，住持依然不為所動。我以為他在敷衍我。今天遇到你，我才明白住持所言非虛：任何無關的人事物都可輕易勾起我對逝去伴侶的思念。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxZ3mV6XSq
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnC2EzTOT3Q
我終於明白初時大叔何以對我不太友善。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLD5pahLOp
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfYJFEwG58
將心比心。喪妻之後，任何人事物均能勾起我和對太太的思念。我曾抱怨上天幸災樂禍，何解不讓我安靜避世。我已盡力放下身邊一切，辭掉工作，不聯絡親友，遷出愛巢，但偏偏愛妻的遺願就是要我去彌補她的畢生遺憾！我沒有一刻能放下她，因為我的分分秒秒就是為她而過。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMtLX4oFYN
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIGFd9UhT4
那種痛苦實非筆墨所能形容。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfQDAwC99t
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnjhZ5VLoR
「你的妻子真聰明，給你的痛苦設下一年期限。只要你在這一年裡拼命為她圓願，往後也就了無遺憾或悔疚。我可沒那麼幸運，不知要拖著這副臭皮囊乾等到哪年哪月哪日……」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcrCHvOsF0
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTLWe59BzC
說罷，他跟我和小樹說晚安，然後揚長而去。
翌日，我翻遍整間竹寺亦找不到大叔，只在他的房間找到他留給我的手繪地圖。我跟著地圖的指示走了大半天，來到住持現處的寺廟。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ywg8mbuVV
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4cnF95FoY
住持聽罷我的經歷後，不禁黯然慨嘆：「黃女士始終凡心未盡……」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYMeDvq3v0
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTUldTJUWK
黃女士當年拋夫棄女，與情夫私奔。豈料甜蜜日子不長久，情夫患急病逝世。黃女士大受打擊，認為是自己作孽甚深，連累情夫。她來到竹寺，望住持能指點迷津。住持認為她深陷激動情緒當中，容易作出錯誤選擇，逐要她在竹寺靜思己過。可惜她半夜逃離。當黃女士重臨竹寺時，她已花光積蓄在黑市做手術整容及變性，以情夫的外表現身……371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3YOYUCuis
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJkrHzpjPk
「大叔就是黃女士？」我不禁驚呼。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrUEtMs3jG
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8JVlF5HaY
震驚之情瞬間即逝，取而代之的是說不出的矛盾。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrIJDBlZi8
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBGSKK4Obp
這個人，我恨不來，亦原諒不了。
翌日，我和住持往竹寺走一趟。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLWsSkynWl
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFnnG58H0e
寺前，我倆不約而同抬頭望向匾額。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FCrl45IEy
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVpkbO0PPE
「你知道『竹寺』何以得名嗎？」住持問。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1xrGYk1bL
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEn7ChDoulx
「等？」我的猜想有如初來之時。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqMbRyt7ef
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RQqJ5t1Kz
「這名字只不過是客觀描述寺廟本身。」住持揚手指向全竹結構的寺廟：「大家實在想多了，對自己的想像投放情感，賦予它過多的意義，致使看不見眼前真象。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSCBWkFNx0
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETD8xfUoP8
我驀地憶起大叔前夜的說話。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsRLqEARET
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5eu5D4lfU
住持直接走往花園。不出他所料，小樹已被連根拔起，樹下土地被挖出一個大坑，足以容納一個成人。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGHK30849f
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsICkhrxUTi
我心頭一涼，頓時明白那是甚麼一回事：多年以來，情夫的屍首一直埋在這裡。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRNaqNGTXt
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUktoZpSNDI
我鼻頭一酸，淚如雨下。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGxEIxkZee
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvKDjHL6XZ
「『強逼自己放下執著』也是一種執著。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroOe8J4w02
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bjs2RWtQF
住持淡然望天，開始為一切生者亡者誦經。
