1521Please respect copyright.PENANArhuMTlKQVF
信義以前曾經說過,如果不是認識我夠久,才不會相信世界上有那麼笨的人,完全不像生活在人世的人,1521Please respect copyright.PENANAVB5N4qUqUa
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他很擔心我將來出到社會工作後,早晚會被人騙得破產。1521Please respect copyright.PENANA0tiK8Xu3Xx
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAjsHFSl8iR3
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「而且你最笨的是不明白女仔的心思,不知要說什麼,要什麼時候上。」他說。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAelZXkfd6a0
1521Please respect copyright.PENANALaUDZSvP2H
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我很同意他這一番說話,對於男女結構大不同,包括思考方式的不一,我是不明白。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAKvxI9VpPjG
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAEVCysFaSyI
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「其實不關事,你是鈍。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAxY2ZI05Hr0
1521Please respect copyright.PENANArc0Lz1zSjz
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAsovvVIxrHO
大一那年,系會狂歡完後,我負責送一個女生回家。那時,我跟那女生在班上算是蠻好聊的,當她回到她家的門口時,她轉身問我:「你……要進來喝些什麼嗎?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAFDccu66FXZ
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「有什麼選擇?」我問。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAxenBciEwvO
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「吓……?」她愣住了,似乎沒有意料我會這樣回答,呆一會後才說:「呃……咖啡⋯⋯?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANApHkWqcTviY
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAMWArMNxVtF
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAFitqhVyp0Z
「不了,我不喜歡喝咖啡的,而且這麼晚喝咖啡會睡不著覺。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5yMDPTNsy
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAJEoWluPoae
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接著是「呯!」的一聲關門。1521Please respect copyright.PENANABdVU14sva8
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呃……1521Please respect copyright.PENANAO86TGDeTOH
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你或許會在質疑,有沒有搞錯,飲咖啡的含意你都不懂。1521Please respect copyright.PENANADnDzXI4SVR
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAVxyBk7zOPx
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我的回答是人情世故我懂的不多。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAxQEVL0ltra
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1521Please respect copyright.PENANApSewnwclIl
同類型的事情還有很多,多到我可以在廟街擺檔說三天三夜。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAPu2kdevBtx
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除了不懂女人心外,我的記憶力還很差。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAFJHdQoA6Iw
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小學時,我可以把家中的電話跟樓下的外賣電話混淆,讓老師打電話到茶餐廳找我家人時,被人誤會玩電話,然後一大堆的粗口伺候。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAcUTlVii01a
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記憶力差得很的我,在中學的選修居然是歷史,甚至大學也是歷史系。1521Please respect copyright.PENANA4XY5gMu1HD
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是由於我中學歷史老師的一句話:「歷史,背是沒有意義的。會背哪個年份,發生了什麼事,不會改變什麼。重要的是,你從前人的事當中,能發掘什麼出來,掘了,那東西就是永遠屬於你的。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAgd1MYYJ33a
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAVQVbYuWeFl
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不過那時我是完全不懂這話是什麼意思,可是我相信他,歷史是不用背的,所以就選了。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAgpjbBw4KOi
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然後公開試也炒了。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAlSTTpVduWc
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1521Please respect copyright.PENANA7DnpgTOT6m
「老師,你不是說不用背的嗎?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAPIsmy8gdlu
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAU5xzmNH3wn
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「我是說背是無意義,但在這個考試制度下,就是要你背。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANA8NJWS7acJB
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我一直都很笨。1521Please respect copyright.PENANA6T88LPGK02
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所以當身邊的人有人相伴時,我還是只能單身一個。(當然有人會認為是你樣子的問題。)1521Please respect copyright.PENANAIF6bPyJb69
1521Please respect copyright.PENANACiUwstO5rP
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我正愁慮我會不會一世都孤身一人,用不用儲錢買孤佬屋時,接下來的事,卻讓我的單身生活起了變化。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAhvp6VW8p0F
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAgjF34ruJNW
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這事之前,首先要介紹兩個人,那都是我最好的朋友。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAv7JJbtlpqb
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一個叫信義。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAEW5go5NMmG
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他不喜歡我們叫他中文名字,因為他覺得這很土,他喜歡別人叫他……1521Please respect copyright.PENANAG4Tn2gphUj
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「叫我阿JOY。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANA8O4Ml5zQ8Y
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無問題的,信義。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAigweFPl58V
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信義的名字聞說是因為父母希望他做人,明白人生最要緊是秉行公義,以義為先,能捨身取義。1521Please respect copyright.PENANA2KzNgrrNx7
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事後證明,他沒有令他的父母失望。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAGuWT16yHgi
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另一個叫小寶。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAhGUSkCpN6o
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小寶這個名字跟她的外型很符合,小寶是童顏型的可愛女生,樣貌看起來比她的實際年齡小,這一類卻吸引到許多追求者。1521Please respect copyright.PENANASCmkP7WFy1
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然後關他們什麼事呢?1521Please respect copyright.PENANAdAvO3dCnvI
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事關他們擅自幫我開了Instagram。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAFGSWRIM9cP
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事先聲明,我從未打算用Instagram,1521Please respect copyright.PENANAKsBVnDoeO4
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原因是我本來對拍照沒什麼大興趣,1521Please respect copyright.PENANATCr2ymckgJ
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其次是也沒有人會對我的生活有興趣。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAsXmuTXh1cI
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「現在哪有人不用Instagram的?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANANqqmsN0Vmm
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAXfbZMsga6W
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAzsvdq3yDgp
「就是,用又不一定要POST相,直接follow女生看照片嘛。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANA33jDL0InWm
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAmn0oBdzMIV
1521Please respect copyright.PENANA61blsgTnaX
信義遞了電話給我看,裡面是一個五官標誌,看起來有點像樂瞳的女生,1521Please respect copyright.PENANAf2kcz5Ebuv
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAcmnRPSSe7c
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAOePpB6TEcV
我隨意瀏覽一下,她的照片基本上大部份都是自拍,有時則在拍小狗、拍食物,還有不少……1521Please respect copyright.PENANAqCY8gyCpOE
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「為什麼只拍自己的腿這麼奇怪?」我問。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAHn123rRrUH
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「咦,她是不知道自己走光了?」我又問。1521Please respect copyright.PENANApytUdIUJfM
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「為什麼心口要key隻公仔,不直接轉第二張相?」我再問。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAZcbqXjUHys
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「唉,你去死啦。」信義說。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAxdoiCVD203
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1521Please respect copyright.PENANA0rqJVMFG39
接下多的十多分鐘,他們一直跟我論述用Instagram的好處,1521Please respect copyright.PENANAyDo3riuhd8
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叭啦叭啦的說過不停。我極度懷疑他們的兼職根本就是推銷員。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAqFGMuYX0Zf
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAoqw4AdCUhZ
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吹得天花龍鳳,差在沒有說用了可保一世平安,出街有神仙保佑,生仔不怕痛。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAbMyZ2q9odi
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好了,我得出結論。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAH5SK9V0D2D
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「不開。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAHvIA0ixhsX
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「頂你咩。」信義破口大罵。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAzt2Wasv2Dc
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1521Please respect copyright.PENANAuBsStTooEn
「好啦,等我幫你。」小寶把我的手機搶去。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAq3AHgZV3zq
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1521Please respect copyright.PENANAlKjKL9dqrw
……1521Please respect copyright.PENANA0G6wh5ZGiS
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證明對話是不存在任何意義。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAMhZDd4kqQ1
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「你Facebook是什麼?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAPJQdgNJx99
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「不要用Facebook啦。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAi4g6CMZvuB
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「下?為什麼?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAZBRL3fTmXX
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笑我太小心也好,可是我從不習慣用Facebook開通其他帳號,覺得這樣不安全。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAfQN7rXl97i
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAJTWbXAjP0j
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「如果不用Facebook,哪來朋友?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAA86U9NTmc9
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「我根本不用。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAuJuOUBiy1O
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「妳懂什麼啊,阿仁明顯不想見到妳啦,他就懂得選,專開來看美女。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAWqtpLURmqc
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「下,我不理,反正我知你的帳號,Follow定我先,順手讚好我的POST,哈哈哈。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANANuA1ZOO4kO
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呃……還說不著緊,我猜想這才是她的原意嘛。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAvzZuUfE3eZ
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小寶認真的對著我手機左按右按,問了我的電郵後,又問:「那你要什麼名字?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANA476QafkY79
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呃……我認真的思考一會,我說了一個我喜歡的作家名字。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAZUWUrlAgYc
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「密碼和帳號一樣好不?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAZshbuVy0CO
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「嗯?」對不起,我在想今天的晚餐吃什麼。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAaxwNh3ANOp
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「我說!密碼和帳號一樣好不?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANA3910m0U6Dj
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「好啊。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAdK6BWFkwEQ
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「啊,你的名字有人在用,加個1字在後面啊記得。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAteCNpsxP2q
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「好啊。」還是吃龍蝦好了。1521Please respect copyright.PENANASPmmdJpAd3
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「你有在聽嗎。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANA0fCEjxHMES
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「嗯?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAqvrhCX23qG
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「你去死啦。」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAwvv37pY3bV
1521Please respect copyright.PENANAqHLbKRmZGG
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小寶就是那種,嘴巴說話不饒人,心裡卻很善良的人。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAnr9tYxxqH6
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就這樣,我開了自己的Instagram,不過也如前面所說,我根本用不著,就這樣有一段時間放著不用。1521Please respect copyright.PENANA53bGYfuxtJ
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甚至我換了新手機後仍是這樣。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7biq9BZ2r
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一直到……近陣子。1521Please respect copyright.PENANAtKL62Enbak
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**「為什麼會這麼多人follow一個不認識的女孩子?」1521Please respect copyright.PENANAa4vuqf9Z5g
1521Please respect copyright.PENANA4XEAZLqZJR
「用來解決生理需要。」