1520Please respect copyright.PENANAHsUejWTHLD
信義以前曾經說過,如果不是認識我夠久,才不會相信世界上有那麼笨的人,完全不像生活在人世的人,1520Please respect copyright.PENANAplm6rsgFu6
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAyEhZ5CNZL1
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他很擔心我將來出到社會工作後,早晚會被人騙得破產。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAE7GHThooXF
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAcZuPyFJnvK
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAFPUbH3sHjp
「而且你最笨的是不明白女仔的心思,不知要說什麼,要什麼時候上。」他說。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAiR7ZEGM513
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1520Please respect copyright.PENANACY6soAFju9
我很同意他這一番說話,對於男女結構大不同,包括思考方式的不一,我是不明白。1520Please respect copyright.PENANA4XjJyd36SB
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAqe82oytXYr
1520Please respect copyright.PENANA2UzJpYiuWD
「其實不關事,你是鈍。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAFRhnvFay8I
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAxCfOIRolZG
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAurCo8xxTHQ
大一那年,系會狂歡完後,我負責送一個女生回家。那時,我跟那女生在班上算是蠻好聊的,當她回到她家的門口時,她轉身問我:「你……要進來喝些什麼嗎?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANABDXsLAVtuA
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAJIDsfder6q
1520Please respect copyright.PENANArA9OLkYrP1
「有什麼選擇?」我問。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAUpCADXBmT1
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1520Please respect copyright.PENANA03Fd2Lqr4c
「吓……?」她愣住了,似乎沒有意料我會這樣回答,呆一會後才說:「呃……咖啡⋯⋯?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANA5IddsStxJA
1520Please respect copyright.PENANA9zl6AZgj6H
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAosbAhz7Pwp
「不了,我不喜歡喝咖啡的,而且這麼晚喝咖啡會睡不著覺。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAfUdfOGr2kF
1520Please respect copyright.PENANA1oqhFYyGWS
1520Please respect copyright.PENANA3Mnl9JliYx
接著是「呯!」的一聲關門。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAh8ZGlzlUN3
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呃……1520Please respect copyright.PENANAhVbfz3mZAO
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你或許會在質疑,有沒有搞錯,飲咖啡的含意你都不懂。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAyGS9OcbG16
1520Please respect copyright.PENANA5sengKU9Gx
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAtPm1V9O36p
我的回答是人情世故我懂的不多。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAi4BJCFAvc8
1520Please respect copyright.PENANA3eYbL3R0yr
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAqBGufXtpEq
同類型的事情還有很多,多到我可以在廟街擺檔說三天三夜。1520Please respect copyright.PENANA5XDjNCsd42
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAiW1AM6qSq1
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除了不懂女人心外,我的記憶力還很差。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAQU1dlTZdQd
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1520Please respect copyright.PENANA4gmLf7Msze
小學時,我可以把家中的電話跟樓下的外賣電話混淆,讓老師打電話到茶餐廳找我家人時,被人誤會玩電話,然後一大堆的粗口伺候。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAnsk7abezIE
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記憶力差得很的我,在中學的選修居然是歷史,甚至大學也是歷史系。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAl2R6qDnPcu
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是由於我中學歷史老師的一句話:「歷史,背是沒有意義的。會背哪個年份,發生了什麼事,不會改變什麼。重要的是,你從前人的事當中,能發掘什麼出來,掘了,那東西就是永遠屬於你的。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAJFARHwQQ4g
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAbV1AsObLB5
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不過那時我是完全不懂這話是什麼意思,可是我相信他,歷史是不用背的,所以就選了。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAio9FdQiQtJ
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然後公開試也炒了。1520Please respect copyright.PENANA2buqTTB6RO
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1520Please respect copyright.PENANAcPtJavnhYj
「老師,你不是說不用背的嗎?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAR1n0sdm6lG
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAZz3CJbUNPs
1520Please respect copyright.PENANA4m7I7X6l5Q
「我是說背是無意義,但在這個考試制度下,就是要你背。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAiHyP6NCmWe
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAzvZMXGNqAI
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我一直都很笨。1520Please respect copyright.PENANA5pyqA9BqlN
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所以當身邊的人有人相伴時,我還是只能單身一個。(當然有人會認為是你樣子的問題。)1520Please respect copyright.PENANAigTLmlo1Io
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1520Please respect copyright.PENANAKaRgZEHzFl
我正愁慮我會不會一世都孤身一人,用不用儲錢買孤佬屋時,接下來的事,卻讓我的單身生活起了變化。1520Please respect copyright.PENANA8qUqdeCkXU
1520Please respect copyright.PENANA0P2Sgo95Fl
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這事之前,首先要介紹兩個人,那都是我最好的朋友。1520Please respect copyright.PENANARo14WRE1UL
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一個叫信義。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAENNvEmcOv9
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他不喜歡我們叫他中文名字,因為他覺得這很土,他喜歡別人叫他……1520Please respect copyright.PENANAiUQP7dioxX
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAYwqihcypHP
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「叫我阿JOY。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAhoMqohpL9T
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無問題的,信義。1520Please respect copyright.PENANANZASHTivHm
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1520Please respect copyright.PENANAsKy69lDChF
信義的名字聞說是因為父母希望他做人,明白人生最要緊是秉行公義,以義為先,能捨身取義。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAsrZGdwm1p3
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAqrAK2zX3NI
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事後證明,他沒有令他的父母失望。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAmiOPOe7tP4
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另一個叫小寶。1520Please respect copyright.PENANA9E7sOAIS30
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小寶這個名字跟她的外型很符合,小寶是童顏型的可愛女生,樣貌看起來比她的實際年齡小,這一類卻吸引到許多追求者。1520Please respect copyright.PENANA4cl6DxXj6D
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAuNXgxk8dWD
然後關他們什麼事呢?1520Please respect copyright.PENANA6pGRdKir29
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事關他們擅自幫我開了Instagram。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAsrUD4beePK
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事先聲明,我從未打算用Instagram,1520Please respect copyright.PENANAoepnAy5K3a
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原因是我本來對拍照沒什麼大興趣,1520Please respect copyright.PENANAnQGASH3fm3
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其次是也沒有人會對我的生活有興趣。1520Please respect copyright.PENANArSyGo6PAzo
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1520Please respect copyright.PENANA1zKt0zfyLs
「現在哪有人不用Instagram的?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAVGHapdAGGc
1520Please respect copyright.PENANALUzThk8rVU
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAR77YQNM0k3
「就是,用又不一定要POST相,直接follow女生看照片嘛。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAJruEDETTbS
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAjqrzyebcvu
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAKECytZEvvb
信義遞了電話給我看,裡面是一個五官標誌,看起來有點像樂瞳的女生,1520Please respect copyright.PENANAMWcFU2XDvM
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAdR6pxlw8iE
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAKaMWHVKT55
我隨意瀏覽一下,她的照片基本上大部份都是自拍,有時則在拍小狗、拍食物,還有不少……1520Please respect copyright.PENANARhYrfO8xLz
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAqNveZgKPqR
1520Please respect copyright.PENANASSTgcHwCgn
「為什麼只拍自己的腿這麼奇怪?」我問。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAA7o6spiYCb
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAqcxVX0TWXl
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「咦,她是不知道自己走光了?」我又問。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAOLHUQSBQEM
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「為什麼心口要key隻公仔,不直接轉第二張相?」我再問。1520Please respect copyright.PENANA7OLIZS4LrH
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAfSRWNf1Dt6
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAycx8Djn9me
「唉,你去死啦。」信義說。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAUMVlY95Qyu
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAVu0xbTjly6
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAnzifMjuZqT
接下多的十多分鐘,他們一直跟我論述用Instagram的好處,1520Please respect copyright.PENANANyraYogRUz
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叭啦叭啦的說過不停。我極度懷疑他們的兼職根本就是推銷員。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAGTP4ZyH2d4
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAMHUaA7pszh
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAzbag7Y3twg
吹得天花龍鳳,差在沒有說用了可保一世平安,出街有神仙保佑,生仔不怕痛。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAec19iLPBKL
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好了,我得出結論。1520Please respect copyright.PENANA65jZDGMtVb
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「不開。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANALNEGC7SCi7
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「頂你咩。」信義破口大罵。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAG5ihBY6h03
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1520Please respect copyright.PENANANGbBB406ZW
「好啦,等我幫你。」小寶把我的手機搶去。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAMiQdadZoMP
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1520Please respect copyright.PENANAP99QUSafGt
……1520Please respect copyright.PENANAxkNGixiRKd
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證明對話是不存在任何意義。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAMJN2dqTyz2
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAlJmoL8fF7Q
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAT7Sq6qg5QY
「你Facebook是什麼?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAxI1UDlRhsN
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「不要用Facebook啦。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAoQ72S4KP9X
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAyvdm86dmDc
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「下?為什麼?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANARAGqBXYnSA
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笑我太小心也好,可是我從不習慣用Facebook開通其他帳號,覺得這樣不安全。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAnCsX0icBwa
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAaV9acw5HEI
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「如果不用Facebook,哪來朋友?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAUqZJ6xLpW5
1520Please respect copyright.PENANA4z53YLFmSH
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「我根本不用。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAyoi5EOghXg
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「妳懂什麼啊,阿仁明顯不想見到妳啦,他就懂得選,專開來看美女。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAF6I4M7ftwk
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAShpHsldcMO
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「下,我不理,反正我知你的帳號,Follow定我先,順手讚好我的POST,哈哈哈。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANA1R0N9rByqM
1520Please respect copyright.PENANABQAPqdTYNp
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呃……還說不著緊,我猜想這才是她的原意嘛。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAVRc4huvsD8
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小寶認真的對著我手機左按右按,問了我的電郵後,又問:「那你要什麼名字?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAYe8mwRfoqh
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAvGyhJcHDfc
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呃……我認真的思考一會,我說了一個我喜歡的作家名字。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAFcnaKIuWBP
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「密碼和帳號一樣好不?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAswCmyFcWI1
1520Please respect copyright.PENANADRjQW1R8g6
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAkOfSNbvQ3p
「嗯?」對不起,我在想今天的晚餐吃什麼。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAyuQvNFjTvs
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「我說!密碼和帳號一樣好不?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAJXJggJb1VV
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「好啊。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAxCU92pbaiL
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「啊,你的名字有人在用,加個1字在後面啊記得。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAd23qF1Pw4A
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「好啊。」還是吃龍蝦好了。1520Please respect copyright.PENANARca1esYsvn
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「你有在聽嗎。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAiT2UbGimiO
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「嗯?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAw03yzdEcXf
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAiBMoJSlCTx
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「你去死啦。」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAvgfoTt6vsz
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAD1trkrfDOZ
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小寶就是那種,嘴巴說話不饒人,心裡卻很善良的人。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAjnkuO92fva
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就這樣,我開了自己的Instagram,不過也如前面所說,我根本用不著,就這樣有一段時間放著不用。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAGP5IZmAT1O
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甚至我換了新手機後仍是這樣。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAsOylycrjhC
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一直到……近陣子。1520Please respect copyright.PENANAndBH2c9QkZ
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**「為什麼會這麼多人follow一個不認識的女孩子?」1520Please respect copyright.PENANAh3UPwp6Vpw
1520Please respect copyright.PENANAzCFrU1Rpse
「用來解決生理需要。」