如果讀者喜歡此故事，希望你能正評+留言，或到penana點「喜歡」，謝謝你的支持！376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4VFWk57Zo
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6RQCglbHy
https://www.penana.com/story/59387/勵志-命運的顏色-一個書寫障礙患者的故事376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3QikbLksS
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ugnPAzKD8
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6bBiMaWu4
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkvOF4RdDT
147章 - 不應該有的空閒376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rvn24h7ua
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHOeyukJBl
兩年多過去，我一直沒有全職工作，沒有跟半個朋友來往，過著封閉式生活。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydmS0HGAwa
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlW2xJbYd5
今天運動完了，我回到家裡，一如以往空無一人、昏暗的大廳，洗好澡，打算推開房門的時候，聽到身後另一道房門拉開了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ru2EwZpPF
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DbKPzXkqw
「程，回來了嗎？」老爸說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcc9WkcW8T
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnWEl9MWh0
老爸數年前動過手術，幸運地，他的康復進度良好。數年過去了，傷口雖然還會隱隱作痛，老爸按時吃藥，依照醫生的指示，身體已沒大礙。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWslpsRmcG
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZm7Fh5uJy
從前老爸是夜班司機，大病之後沒有上夜班了。不言敗的他，總是希望重投職場，以較低薪水重操故業，當兼職日班私人司機，每星期上班三天，其他時間在家裡休息。據老爸說，他的體力能應付工作需要，老媽當然想老爸以身體作為首要考慮，但是考慮到終點是希望老爸走出疾病的陰霾，所以放任醫學上失去工作能力的老爸繼續工作。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zGAQcYbo3
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj513i7YouR
一個秋日的午後，今天老爸不用上班。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCTGdkDZ3g
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Tm0qNTRAm
「嗯。」我說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZiymzjeFG
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbIJXjUM02
難道這個衣裝要出去嗎？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9uRSucjSL
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡParDBY9XfQ
「吃了飯沒有，要做飯給你吃嗎？」老爸說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtabmIrBLa
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsOpvxbkvQ
「不…不用了，已經吃了。」我說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluoeeOr5Tc
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9cK9S5KVn
「有空聊一下嗎？」老爸扶著牆壁，坐到沙發說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyhPwRQOjA
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡry6FbQAwJ9
「…」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHV3vRVMr7
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxw90yG2Sw1
突然要聊天，總覺得不會是甚麼好事。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7Lg4rv6fx
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWh1sYvfZv
我倒了杯熱茶給老爸，坐到了老爸身旁，心裡準備好迎接老爸的訓斥。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZ04t9D85Z
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzR4ARcx4tH
我稍稍察看老爸的臉，他是一張仁慈的臉。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIptimWqjr
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWa3NG6965R
「今天沒有補習嗎？」老爸說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtNYFnM1HV
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6fwLij0Gv
「有啊，晚上有一個學生。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2uwA99zlM
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94cNXJ4B60
「不用等你吃飯了？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1pM6DpCeo
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFi6hUJLJfu
「我吃了飯再出去。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5lituR0sM
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0rNu6KkTv
「收入…還好嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGOaqVdf54
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjmfaiWbEI
兩年了，沒有全職工作的事實，家人當然知道，以前我跟他們說︰「我的開支會自理」，老爸老媽竟然沒有反對，光哥…自中學以後就不再管我的事了，所以沒人阻止我的決定。我一直依靠補習那份不高不低的收入過活，其他時間不斷做戶外運動和在房間做訓練，希望終有一天能打開那個「開關」，離開發展協調障礙這個問題。但時至今天，問題依然持續。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjn6HxVULlV
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1ji08lnUR
「嗯。」我馬虎回答。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7qYfPMA8v
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprm9ikpE7X
「不夠花的話我給你一點？」老爸說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVVY5WEGag
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0OqUnT7g4
因為光哥的工程公司經營理想，他不時給一大把鈔票作為家用，感覺是送錢給父母的孝子，老爸老媽見到我的情況，不時問我錢夠不夠花，總是被我拒絕。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdw7ENoXkgV
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA93Ae2k7Pq
「不用了，我還可以，老爸你把錢儲起來吧。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HbBlKqAAQ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKhmMyVZnt
路是自己挑的，到死，都要把路走完，為自己的決定負責。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jQiqRCmBE
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQgfBC0OBZ
「想關心一下你的情況，可以嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9gSeBc3o1
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6ePs1gUTH
你的身份是父親，沒有甚麼可以不可以啊，否定我的決定也是有道理的。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KjJCjcviL
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpF6MJp2Uu
「程你…真的沒打算找全職工作嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKedrLgLb0
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHD6xMZbNA4
「…」我盯著屋內的一角，思考怎樣回答。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOW9yXphbDE
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiwbqLqgoU
「雖然錢方面你現在不成問題，但是長久下去，人的擔子愈來愈大，我們幫不了多少啊。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kFPzT2z2S
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAL2HsR6OJF
作為補習老師，時薪升幅不算理想，最理想方法是多找幾個學生，這樣就犧牲時間，跟我的主要目標相違背。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZtLOfcsEh
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6kEFn8IXF
「你爸我，知道你不是沒有工作的心，你每天都有去上班，幹自己喜歡的事，沒有問我們要過半毛錢，這些我們是知道的，但是你的情況，我們開始擔心了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PBhu4SclN
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDfIFO2dlT
要是老爸來硬的，我一定頂嘴，但是他用柔和的方式說這些話，我反駁不了，準確點說是「不忍心反駁」...376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lkV7AGDb5
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ehDQuMqCV
「喜歡教學生，為甚麼不當全職補習老師？我朋友的女兒就是補習老師，這樣工作會穩定一點吧？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXg4PAop89
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrccLB9MKM
我不是沒有想過當全職補習老師...全職就沒有時間了。我選擇維持這個狀態是希望找到更多時間，為身上的機能病找到答案，我深信自己能辦到，所以從來沒有放棄過，也沒有放棄過自己...376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOTJcrb4KC
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4sAdTit3q
這兩年裡，我不斷嘗試以前聽過的疑似答案，早就試過但沒甚麼治效、物理治療師的治療指示，還有白先生說的運動治療法，每天抽很多時間反覆做過無數次測試、鍛鍊，甚至中學確診之前被我否定了的方向也重新跑了一遍，有開倒車的感覺，但事實是︰所有都不像是答案，手部活動能力沒有突破性的改善...天啊...376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0wK1UOS5a
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60ra5fwAUW
可能，我對自己是個「不正常的人」這個自我定位耿耿於懷，不想被別人標籤，也不想接受這個事實，所以才花費無數時間想要治好這個病。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHAV61zk3k
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPI21ibYi8
念念不忘，結果白花了兩年。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSQKvxJ3CH
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6p7qqhuc1
值得為一個旁人看來只是小問題的病花掉青春黃金期的兩年嗎？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrevzLclRYO
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVNCH2XkjJ
我想沒有經歷過這類病症的人，是不會明白我的痛苦。這個想法，從中學開始我已經抱持著。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jcZj7TBuf
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Po6NXAeTX
即使是經歷過這種苦的白先生，也不太明白我的痛苦。他憑自己的其他優秀條件，成功找到其他類別的工作，他還「幸運地」解決了抄寫的問題，成就非凡。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCm1T3y9wR5
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEAsrDrfi8
一將功成，萬骨枯。有多少同病相連的畢業生被這個病折騰得死來活去，迷失在時間的洪流之中？難道失敗者會站出來分享失敗的經驗嗎？從來只有成功者有資格搞分享會，讓所有人看成功者美輪美奐的一面。於我而言，我覺得失敗者也值得搞自己的分享會，前車之轍，可以借鑒，但是世界價值觀否定了我的想法，我一直找不到經驗分享，不論是生活周遭，還是越洋到世界彼端的網絡世界。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uwRa9ZVAS
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUV0Jk3RoUj
「…」我好像有甚麼難言之隱似的，純粹低下頭。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNImuWon1A
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7QFvznLLr
「有甚麼事想要做嗎？」老爸說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNb6s3luYu
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpCTtD4guo
我微微點頭。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2OXhwbRL0
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0of92C5UD
「是不是那個...甚麼病？」老爸問。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvSDrlF9Cz
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSN4OZEOYgY
原來老爸還記得我有這個問題。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYyzODH0WS
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoUwoEoFtM
我又微微點頭。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKl66wx10d
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ADFiQWzsi
「你爸我，還有你媽，唸書真的不多，不知道你發生了甚麼事，但是人的時間是有限的，你看我和你媽，臉上皺紋跟頭髮一樣多，不要留下後悔啊。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimuyGXj8Zy
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2GYbTgYcR
不要留下後悔…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpCws8Uc6s
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBE8sJ1vggN
其實我現在做的事就是為了不留下後悔，但好像在製造另一個後悔…我開始搞不清了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbs5T2kpQut
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPZ9NdyWve
「聊別的吧。光快要結婚了，他有跟你聊過甚麼嗎？」老爸轉話題。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cmou9bo4j
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vsiQtcp8Y
「沒有。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lXo5TBfQt
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnh8c8sHZrM
這幾年我不斷向光哥搭話，他總是一句起，兩句止的回答，他怎會主動跟我說甚麼。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LlCSIceUi
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYA8u5d8CGY
「甚麼？竟然沒有？兩星期後就是光的婚禮了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDprovpEuDR
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqhJHCxQ6H
「甚麼時候安排的？我完全不知道啊。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztSBFGtIB3
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoVMFwWxaW
我只知道光哥跟一個叫歐陽家琪的女孩交往了幾年，她不時在我們家吃飯，感情穩定，就只是這樣。我真不知道婚期。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCS7jx98ny
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjB4tyAhCp
「光打算儀式簡單一點，把錢省下來。早上註冊簽文件，下午到雙方的家敬茶，晚上在茶樓擺幾圍，儀式就當完成了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCFYcf1TEc
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupfFiqm4Ou
「沒有禮服之類的嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSxHfNpy0G
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjaKTbAKIL
「沒有，光主張一切從簡，他打算穿運動裝而已。」老爸難掩萬分恩惠心情地說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgRl05avmc
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM61zjUU9K
穿運動裝結婚…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3l52YGhlIX
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTU43kwp2wM
「即是說我們不用刻意打扮？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21wbHWaUGn
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDesCm2qVj
「我想是吧，我跟你媽打算穿得像逛街一樣而已，不然比主角更好看又有點奇怪。」老爸笑著說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYlTcapYgy
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyi7x8iXRaD
「那天我有甚麼可以幫忙嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwhUoHaKio
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXQwwJbaJs
「嗯…暫時沒有。你那天早點起床，給一天光吧？補習可以調動一下時間嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3b93US4nb4
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaqEMqaJeG
「好的。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7m099zPFzU
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamI1J9ERPp
「還有，光說你不用買甚麼給他了，不用花這個錢。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKllmFFBDM
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtB59lTezNJ
「…」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM89YwK79vj
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3f1vxBWkVH
買結婚禮物的話，獨力選一份禮物，少說也要二千多塊，精美一點或者挑戒指可能要三千，可能光哥考慮到我的經濟狀況吧。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFK8j69s1w
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSw6hGOVBz
「杜家終於有媳婦了，光真的混得不錯。」老爸的臉洋溢著幸福，老懷安慰般。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdRgGnSvns
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwboBdqNEN2
光哥中學成績太爛，沒有繼續唸書，早早踏入社會，卻因為找到自己前路去向，早早啟程出發、在社會混，混得理想；反觀自己…也是混社會，卻是「胡混」的「混」，事業還沒有起步。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeMGVCfeVO
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ257TrvJuKY
「其實你爸我…雖然今天只有自己一個人吃飯，但是相當高興，因為你們都有自己的事業︰你媽要工作，你也要工作，光除了工作還要陪女朋友，能有這個家庭，我非常高興。現在我最擔心的是你啊，程。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmExqxuKgUv
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksbU9mRdsd
「…」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiRxUbyx9u
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5oQGNSa7p
「可以的話，我真想你帶一個人上來吃飯，能倒茶給我喝就最好了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnSYcVAU5C
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WNmQSoMq2
我就知道這個話題今天一定躲不了…你要喝茶是嗎？我倒給你，你要多少杯？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwyMdzRqYb
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxyjOXcOYB
「程啊。」老爸抓起我的手。「要學會為自己打算啊，人會老的。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj449Yepxs4
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjlr3iMnlS
…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYqAULeQQK
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3smuu9OIo
「嗯…嗯。」我只哼出一聲，表情苦澀，心裡被揪住似的。「呼…」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBjxFnKgO1
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXLilW3e0j
速度…到今天還沒有結果…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7UO69bNni
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vMg6lydvM
「肚子真的不餓嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1SulbdBLJ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NjRJnIuUO
「嗯。」我哼聲。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UpieCQhUr
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBzrLjMAhX
「好吧，聊了很久，那麼不阻你了。」老爸說畢，蹣跚地回到房間休息了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjI4TWFT1J
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4XBMUr18P
為何一個病人，即使被評為「永久失去工作能力」，拼死擠出半點力量，成就出不可能；而身為健全人士的我，卻甚麼也做不到…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpA3bsLUSE3
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JGnZ7FHgD
「為甚麼？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPKMrwf3mt
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yCPEmPxeR
為甚麼…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OS7MywcXW
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOSBv7gxcI
我不想再停留在這個階段啊，那麼接下來的路，要怎樣走？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AQgByd3P5
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9F5VyUPMpD
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrskygdPSO2
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczITFH0U4m
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRzADXsRPA
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡav8oDSxx54
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDs3uumQZ1Z
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0MYIDwWcd
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIGEFopfTn
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