[FANFIC - HBD, KARIN!] PÉRIODICITÉ (SK)
Title: périodicité488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPtFfbKZLV
By: Kanae (Goth-Punk88 @ ff.net)488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡan74VDNRwK
Rating: K+488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAY5Ex5vsD
Word Count: 2.817488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKnhwJLTvK
Author's Notes: Made for our "Karin's birthday week" over at the Ice&Spice FC @ NF ♥ I... don't even know what this is, or where it came from, and it's possibly one of the cheesiest pieces I've written for SK. But I kind of regret nothing lol - Oh and that novice drawing at the top of the fic? yup, mines. guilty as charged orz488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTo6M7xIa9
Summary: June 20 has never been an ordinary day for one Uzumaki Karin.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81wSUJx6KN
périodicité (periodicity)488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0YXJRGesm
"recurrence at regular intervals of time."
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périodicité;488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznOaVvkyWP
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by Kanae
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“Don’t look so down, darling. This is a great chance for you.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkW3hfuzn1
“…Yeah… a great chance to make a fool of myself, you mean.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9P2UnVcVNT
A twinkling laugh, a delicate hand warmly lands over a girl’s head and—
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At twelve, there aren’t many things that Karin has done or that she wishes to do. She is just an ordinary girl from an ordinary family living in an ordinary village; there is nothing special about her, nothing out of the norm, nothing that makes her stand out—if one ignores her flagrant red hair, that is.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqgN1CYuUi
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But that is just what her father seems to have wanted to do all along.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJ2aiNkIW2
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You’re going out? Don’t forget to put your hood on, Karin, he would say, whenever Karin had to wander away from the immediate realms of their home. Why, papa? She used to ask when she was no more than a little girl; but that was a habit that slowly but surely withered and died as she began to grow up—as she started to grow aware enough to notice the wary air her father’s kind, wise red eyes acquired as the reminder left his lips.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKDwlkbcat
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As she grew older, Karin learned to recognize it for what it truly was: more a warning than a piece of advice; and she began to grow more jittery as result, more worn at the seams.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxPcg1iBj3
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Her red hair was her only outstanding trait, the only thing that made her different—without it, Karin may as well fade into the scenery.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZ7XCiiKoM
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She may as well not exist.
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—and ruffles her hair.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrBcx00yQp
“Now, now, don’t be like that. I have a good feeling about this, you know?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqlhcqr0jm
“…What do you mean, mama?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mmV5EMb85
A secretive smile highlighted by—
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At thirteen, Karin nearly dies.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4ouJXRJSO
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And then she is saved—saved by a striking boy with a rich voice and eyes that warm her up to the core the moment he smiles—at her, for her—and suddenly, Karin does not feel so ordinary anymore.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF2wdp61BE
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There is something different about you, her mother tells her once with a knowing smile, ever since you came back from Konoha.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B0u5LnO4T
Karin jumps in her seat, awkward denial bubbling up in her throat and evaporating the moment her mother laughs, I like it. You look prettier, Karin.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOO7PgmdrP
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She does not know about that—can’t see any difference as she looks at herself in the mirror, self-consciously pulling on some strands of red hair and squinting at her reflection.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lVK9TMWpm
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What she does know, though—what she can’t forget, is—488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAts3jVihO
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See ya, he had said, and it takes Karin a surprising amount of time to realize that, for the first time since she could remember, there was something she wanted.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49XIivSflK
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Wanted for herself; not for her parents, not for those she cares about. Something that was completely hers, in all its staggering intensity and youthful hope.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkxGTnWYVM
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See ya, he had said, and until then Karin had never quite known how good it felt to feel alive.
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—by amber eyes that seem to spark.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlj3UGgeJv
“Ara~ I wonder if I should tell you. It is a safely guarded secret, you see.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQf9CwWsL72
“I will keep it! I promise, I won’t tell anybody, mama!”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2GJBSgpwt
A chuckle, “Alright, alright! Since you insist, I'll tell you. It—”
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At fourteen, Karin breathes her last breath.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnBRUfgttc
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There is no blood—not hers—involved, nor are there any wounds—not physical ones—or any white walls or tunnels and gates of light—no light, only dark—only smoke—only the smell of burnt flesh and intest—488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtshaseerj3
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There is, however, anguish. An agony so great that Karin bit her lip until it bled, fisted her palms until her nails left permanent crescent-moon shaped scars in the contours of her skin, new batches added to already cracked life lines.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7AWdfi8Q1
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There are silent, chocked sobs that made her throat burn and her sight blur until she has ran out of tears.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvEpB7lGrA
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And there is also horror; a burning, paralyzing sort of horror that reaches its peak and fades into a mute but perpetual tune stringing the chords of her being as she comes back and stares at the corpses of her father and mother, unrecognizable masses of ashes retching of burnt blood and bodily fluids that make a pile of vile crawl its way up to her tongue.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrRkuXoTQo
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And then, there is he—sidestepping the man with ominous dark chakra and extending a hand towards her, onyx eyes boring into her own with the same might with which the understanding in his chakra drove her horror away.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UnlU8cXQZ
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You staying here will amount to nothing, but you leaving just might, he says. Come, Karin, he calls.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYLsUadV4O
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She takes his hand, and there is hope.
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“—It is said that one too many women in our family have found their fate in the lands of Konohagakure.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrXDACA777
“Their… fate?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJsm96e4vJ
Her voice curls up around the edges, as if it were a spell.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TgZYyYEND
“You will understand in—”
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At fifteen, Karin has shed her skin.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxVtjc7Qct
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There are now sharp edges where there used to be soft contours; angry frowns where there used to be kindness, smirks where there used to be smiles; buoyancy where there once was shame, barriers in what once were vast landscapes—and there are also scars.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpjWjvgsqK
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Tell-tale scars of the Karin she used to be and new, revolting ones from the Karin she has become. She hides the latter and denies the former; pretends they’re long gone, never aching, never hurting anymore.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3grHEGojK
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Yet, he sees them all. As if she wore them on her sleeve.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7XmrDPevz
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“Say, Sasuke, since we’re alone how about we—”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJCsmsCBYK
“I have to leave soon, Karin.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCe2XKOzZl
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She puts her glasses back on and crosses her arms with a frown, moving away from him. “Why did you even bother coming, then?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjatxK2gtUN
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Sasuke says nothing, then. He says nothing, and Karin straightens, her back suddenly assaulted by gooseflesh; could he—?488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXNAE4CPpt
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Could he have possibly known? Known how before his unexpected arrival, Karin had been hounded by her memories. Seeing familiar faces in the nameless prisoners of the base, ghosts come back to haunt her and pull her down with them to the depths of hell—a hell made of nothing but flames and guilt of mistakes she is not sure she would take back, even if she could.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9QVNeQzg8
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“…I had business here, is all.” His voice reaches out to her through the haze of her thoughts, pulling her back with nonchalant words that seemed devoid of any meaning.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE50bsNOmo8
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But as she turns and her eyes meet his, Karin sees.
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“—in due time, Karin.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNyD4in1Dr
“Still, mama… it just isn’t fair.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb82Ts1MB6q
“What isn’t, dear?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXLASwXbhw
“… I wanted to spend my birthday with you and papa.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDXiN9jhQD
Her smile—
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At sixteen, Karin falls.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiO7FhAeMDh
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She falls from a great, great height at appalling speed; she hasn’t even had time to acknowledge the abysm before she has hit rock bottom, her goals and dreams spilling through her open chest and pooling on the ground alongside everything she knows.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAY5YOEaUP
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Alongside everything she once held dear. Everyone she relied on. The one she trusted.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXkuCGtDiN
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Now, there was no one left.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9prueVj9B1
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No one left but the roaming, empty carcass of the boy she once loved; the boy who taught her what it felt like to be alive, the boy who gave her hope and helped her find meaning back when she had lost her way, the boy who helped her to be reborn from her ashes into someone better; someone stronger, someone capable of standing up for herself and for him, too. The boy who flared her will and her drive with a single touch, with a single look, with the simplest of words—488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrYSlbCalA
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I need you488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbD0FyJsMIa
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“So much for that,” Karin mutters to no one, her back pressed against the cold walls of a cell and her fingers absentmindedly tracing the ghost of the wound that had taken her heart out for good.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXrZOnDaew
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And then it comes. An almost unnoticeable flicker—too subtle to be perceived, but too longed for to be ignored.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnid7HBjQrw
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No… I’ve had enough, Sasuke but her withered heart is trying to beat again, and it makes up her mind for her.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfMUeDqSAb
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“…So much for this,” Karin murmurs to herself—and then she is on her feet again, her inner eye tracing his every move.
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—melts.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONdW7M9WMt
“Cheer up, love. There will be many birthdays left for us to celebrate together.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5lpUrbP43
“… You promise?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2FP4Mf62J
Her gaze softens.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6NN1BYuSs
“I promise.”
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At seventeen, Karin kisses him.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoL6lLBdWxm
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She impulsively crashes her lips against his, her arms thrown around his neck in a desperate attempt to hold onto him—to anchor him down before his essence could have the chance to fade into pitch black darkness again, to feel him before he could have the chance to waste his life—her life, their future—chasing phantoms all the way to the death.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7s7LIR2Rv
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When the impromptu kiss ends, Karin sees him—the him she knows, the him she loves—flickering across his eyes for the briefest of moments, and she hears her name resounding in her ears even though he has not uttered a single sound.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNItr0Vl2M
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She smiles ruefully; trembling eyes boring into his—and then wordlessly lets him go.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDq7q4pde6r
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She has given him a reason, but the choice is his to make.
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“Ha, so it was about a boy, I knew it!”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMiQHkSYKe
“Shh, mama! I don’t want papa to hear! And… it’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, anyway….”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlum1wVYq0
Her mother has to hide her smile, “Actually, Karin… something tells me you just might.”
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At eighteen, Sasuke kisses her back.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPpGfAwm8J
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It is not nearly as passionate as her—their—first kiss had been; there is no desperation, no adrenaline—but there is craving all the same, waving through the serenity threading over her through the gentle pressure of his fingertips over the nape of her neck, enveloping her like a makeshift cloak and warming her down to her very core.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33Jz3TAUxA
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And Karin feels her very essence quiver under it—under the warmth and the way her heart seemed to want to leave her and jump into him instead, to claim the home it has always longed for; the home it has always fought for.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIHGxgMgZ3
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The home it belonged to.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvPJPdRpJS
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As he kisses her, sunrays clumsily dancing upon her lips, Karin feels like she would vaporize into him if Sasuke were to take a single breath.
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“How do you know?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizoDHCdXQQ
“Because, that’s how fate works, Karin.”
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At nineteen, Karin smiles.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5HbxoW5JE
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“Itachi,” she says, and Sasuke looks up to her, startled. “The name… Itachi. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQRL2cF6bv
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Sasuke parts his lips—once, twice—but no sound comes out and soon enough he gives up altogether, lowering his eyes to stare at the bundle in his arms. It stares back at him, impossibly red eyes widened with innocent curiosity, pink tongue sticking out from underneath rosy lips.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ga5bAFotf
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“Are you sure, Karin?” he whispers after what seemed like an eternity, and Karin’s smile only widens.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRunapmk0nk
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“Yeah.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7Lb16SOXG
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And as she sees them—as she sees Sasuke hold their baby as if he were holding the whole, wide world in the crook of his arms—Karin remembers her mother with such vivid clarity that she catches a breath of her perfume. The memory—the vision is bittersweet, and it makes Karin’s throat clog, because she recognizes that look.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBLOUAmc0O
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It was the way her mother used to look at her father and her, eyes brimming with love and pride, unspoken but ever-present, never changing. Karin had not been able to understand it, then—488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LzLk7QENM
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But she did, now. And the understanding squeezed her heart in a way that was both, wonderful and terrible. To think it took her this long to finally understand, once and for all, what it all meant.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbNdxXgMpB
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To understand who her mother truly was, what her mother felt, what her mother desired for her—and how her mother hurt.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWh0ohZs4P
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You’re special, Karin. She would tell her sometimes, her eyes half-lidded and afflicted by thoughts she would never get the chance to say aloud. One day, you will realize that.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHrFkXQygN
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She realized it, now; what it meant to love to her roots, what it meant to be a woman.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSQGNrIgS4
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An Uzumaki woman.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwf3RgnRY9p
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“… Thank you, Karin.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfaOEkymxL
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“Idiot,” she shakes her head, weakly, traitorous tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and threatening to spill. “That... should be my line.”
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“They will be here soon,”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhnR4X07bE
“Who will be here soon, mama?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNSwvyWauG
“It could be anyone,” she finally replies, and her hold is steady as she combs through Karin’s hair, “we have long since lost any care for their identities, Karin. What matters is… what their presence means.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoP3w8AshlP
“And what is that?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZROWSovTqB
Her silence provides the only answer; and Karin wishes it weren’t enough.
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At twenty, Karin celebrates her birthday for the first time in seven years.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qnNdtQeiP
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And it starts with a soft but firm admittance whispered as she caresses the baby’s nose, all too aware of the pleasant weight of Sasuke’s gaze, of the feelings swirling in his chakra.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWg6IRGe9FG
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Hearing them is unexpected, however—and her widened eyes snap to his only to find his lips beginning to curve, his own hand coming to caress her cheek in much the same way she was doing to their son.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6eef1xcte
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“W—what was that about?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi54dmgZVWX
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She asks; some habits are hard to break, and her awkward way of fighting down her embarrassment seemed to be as persistent as ever.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKP4c5cn6I
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Sasuke doesn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, his smile seems to morph into an amused smirk as he shrugs, noncommittally. “I just felt like saying it, is all.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVE5ccdSug
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“Dumbass,” she mutters, hoping the darkness will hide the way her cheeks have warmed up like bonfires, so reminiscent of her prepubescent days when all she could do was a dream she would one day lay with Sasuke the way she does now. “...You didn't need to.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhEy5pOvvm
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QIMyqkE40
“I know, Karin,” and this time he is positively smiling, suddenly mutating back into the Sasuke that had stolen her heart so many years ago. “But it still felt good to say it.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxTyece2sM
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwck6Gr71P
Karin says nothing in response; simply snuggles closer to him, eyes on the baby as he opens his eyes and blinks, his little hands curling and uncurling up into the air.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1GgwJXz8V
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“He is going to be strong,” Sasuke assesses, and Karin would have mocked him by how ridiculous it was that he sounds that proud of Itachi when the baby hasn’t even said his first word yet, weren’t it because she felt the same way.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWjvuBZtv2
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He was going to be strong. A little piece of herself and Sasuke—a memento of those who had given their life up for them; a torch for those who had granted them the chance to live this moment.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBBxCRD0pa
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To live this happiness.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TNR58buVD
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“Happy birthday, Itachi,” she whispers, and squeezes Sasuke’s hand. “I love you.”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmJ8pHwnYa
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The words feel dusty, and unknown—but familiar.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykok4TL2id
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She knew them, once.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3lrAA3tsa
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She has known them all along.
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I'm sorry, Karin.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJNJii9SSJ
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Were the last words her mother told her before her father ushered her out of the house and prompted her to run—run as far as she could, away from them—and forced her to leave them to die.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVsduaI0G9
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To survive.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3oIup5AZ0
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Those words used to hunt Karin down in those nights when sleep refused to lend her its hand, the eerie walls of Orochimaru’s hideout caving in on her and Sasuke’s steady chakra being her only relief, her only shield.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocmBDPMGEV
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Yet, what haunted her weren’t the words themselves, but their meaning; Karin had instinctively known then, just as clear as she knows now, that her mother was not apologizing for forcing her to forsake them and live on.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjvFN3L3R5
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No, that was not it—that was not the kind of woman her mother had been.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNZIWpeq1q
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Instead, she had apologized for something else entirely.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsw7sGrpoi6
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For the unsaid.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7V6liRRbo
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“What are you thinking about, Karin?”488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsYnwJMB21
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Her lips curl upward as he takes the seat by her side, repentances fading away into the evening sky.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUcvrelDFw
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“Nothing,” she replies, threading her fingers through his and gazing back to their children, who were laughing and running together through the backyard, a lively mixture of reds and blacks; the Uchiha and Uzumaki crests proudly etched on their backs, on their hearts.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdIej3gzWB
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“Nothing at all.”
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"You will be fine."488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIjfv7sl8D
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And through the tears and the pain and the loneliness and the longing and the hardships and the fear, Karin should have known better.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysiB4AyFPi
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Her mother was always right.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDn4P26jwB
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end.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElC18lk5DB
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I... seriously don't know where all this came from; my best guess: Uzumaki feelings. Uzumaki feelings everywhere. lol, I tried to play with the different facets of Karin, and how she grows into each one of them; plus SK, of course.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1cqcTWqnh
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The stuff I wrote here is not quite how I see things going, though; to do that I would have had to write about 395749574 vignettes per year, rather than only one lol so I went for rushed versions of a couple of scenarios I had thought about.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrZBi9XRVy
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Oh and while I did not state it in the fic: every vignette takes place on Karin's birthday, so the baby was born on June 20, too.488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34ZyEzm8Nm
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Anyway, hopefully, it wasn't that terrible! ♥488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwOZ4JJbih
tags: fanfic, karin, naruto, sasukarin, sasuke
i'm : 
cheerful
listening to: never let me go - florence + the machine
ns216.73.216.33da2
