[FANFIC - HBD, KARIN!] PÉRIODICITÉ (SK)
Title: périodicité585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1s3MHPS1Pz
By: Kanae (Goth-Punk88 @ ff.net)585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzNv6KGvtD
Rating: K+585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5KnLQoJZk
Word Count: 2.817585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegJoJI4IRd
Author's Notes: Made for our "Karin's birthday week" over at the Ice&Spice FC @ NF ♥ I... don't even know what this is, or where it came from, and it's possibly one of the cheesiest pieces I've written for SK. But I kind of regret nothing lol - Oh and that novice drawing at the top of the fic? yup, mines. guilty as charged orz585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyscIk3S0S
Summary: June 20 has never been an ordinary day for one Uzumaki Karin.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoz5D0vLNi6
périodicité (periodicity)585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcmQunaYzV
"recurrence at regular intervals of time."
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périodicité;585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkX6Hlueu2
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by Kanae
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“Don’t look so down, darling. This is a great chance for you.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOb5WjQbqN9
“…Yeah… a great chance to make a fool of myself, you mean.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvJx6Ylxji
A twinkling laugh, a delicate hand warmly lands over a girl’s head and—
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At twelve, there aren’t many things that Karin has done or that she wishes to do. She is just an ordinary girl from an ordinary family living in an ordinary village; there is nothing special about her, nothing out of the norm, nothing that makes her stand out—if one ignores her flagrant red hair, that is.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfL3YcDyLVL
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But that is just what her father seems to have wanted to do all along.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaedpvsX6a
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You’re going out? Don’t forget to put your hood on, Karin, he would say, whenever Karin had to wander away from the immediate realms of their home. Why, papa? She used to ask when she was no more than a little girl; but that was a habit that slowly but surely withered and died as she began to grow up—as she started to grow aware enough to notice the wary air her father’s kind, wise red eyes acquired as the reminder left his lips.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiggKS33i6
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As she grew older, Karin learned to recognize it for what it truly was: more a warning than a piece of advice; and she began to grow more jittery as result, more worn at the seams.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gSnWeFcDY
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Her red hair was her only outstanding trait, the only thing that made her different—without it, Karin may as well fade into the scenery.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUWe3VQCl9
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She may as well not exist.
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—and ruffles her hair.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1HhT5F98u
“Now, now, don’t be like that. I have a good feeling about this, you know?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLj63MqCbF5
“…What do you mean, mama?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr5lXryyI9
A secretive smile highlighted by—
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At thirteen, Karin nearly dies.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4L1vxixQT9
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And then she is saved—saved by a striking boy with a rich voice and eyes that warm her up to the core the moment he smiles—at her, for her—and suddenly, Karin does not feel so ordinary anymore.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUa5zBoA6S
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There is something different about you, her mother tells her once with a knowing smile, ever since you came back from Konoha.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9bMEvPSZS
Karin jumps in her seat, awkward denial bubbling up in her throat and evaporating the moment her mother laughs, I like it. You look prettier, Karin.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4403ncT1F4
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She does not know about that—can’t see any difference as she looks at herself in the mirror, self-consciously pulling on some strands of red hair and squinting at her reflection.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVkdtt3ZLd
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What she does know, though—what she can’t forget, is—585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vQNe4YAPZ
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See ya, he had said, and it takes Karin a surprising amount of time to realize that, for the first time since she could remember, there was something she wanted.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOREikMKWKu
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Wanted for herself; not for her parents, not for those she cares about. Something that was completely hers, in all its staggering intensity and youthful hope.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9VdDtjstc
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See ya, he had said, and until then Karin had never quite known how good it felt to feel alive.
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—by amber eyes that seem to spark.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQiV6tGiX5
“Ara~ I wonder if I should tell you. It is a safely guarded secret, you see.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vVtKyc1b2
“I will keep it! I promise, I won’t tell anybody, mama!”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4ldVMkQOR
A chuckle, “Alright, alright! Since you insist, I'll tell you. It—”
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At fourteen, Karin breathes her last breath.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUO30zSw4P1
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There is no blood—not hers—involved, nor are there any wounds—not physical ones—or any white walls or tunnels and gates of light—no light, only dark—only smoke—only the smell of burnt flesh and intest—585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdViaW8jyo
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There is, however, anguish. An agony so great that Karin bit her lip until it bled, fisted her palms until her nails left permanent crescent-moon shaped scars in the contours of her skin, new batches added to already cracked life lines.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDnPhXKqmO
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There are silent, chocked sobs that made her throat burn and her sight blur until she has ran out of tears.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYrai0t8uS
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And there is also horror; a burning, paralyzing sort of horror that reaches its peak and fades into a mute but perpetual tune stringing the chords of her being as she comes back and stares at the corpses of her father and mother, unrecognizable masses of ashes retching of burnt blood and bodily fluids that make a pile of vile crawl its way up to her tongue.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiks28uUUp
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And then, there is he—sidestepping the man with ominous dark chakra and extending a hand towards her, onyx eyes boring into her own with the same might with which the understanding in his chakra drove her horror away.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OXh4susc3
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You staying here will amount to nothing, but you leaving just might, he says. Come, Karin, he calls.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVygiMT3Hmy
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She takes his hand, and there is hope.
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“—It is said that one too many women in our family have found their fate in the lands of Konohagakure.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9Edmdq4hh
“Their… fate?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOR4oWMkUwL
Her voice curls up around the edges, as if it were a spell.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDr5MkpVpCI
“You will understand in—”
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At fifteen, Karin has shed her skin.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncLyj6ubHv
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There are now sharp edges where there used to be soft contours; angry frowns where there used to be kindness, smirks where there used to be smiles; buoyancy where there once was shame, barriers in what once were vast landscapes—and there are also scars.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c5woEdWyj
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Tell-tale scars of the Karin she used to be and new, revolting ones from the Karin she has become. She hides the latter and denies the former; pretends they’re long gone, never aching, never hurting anymore.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppWkkGyL6w
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Yet, he sees them all. As if she wore them on her sleeve.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hwyTKcIhn
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“Say, Sasuke, since we’re alone how about we—”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzObfrrUsZ
“I have to leave soon, Karin.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡus1HSlHnJ5
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She puts her glasses back on and crosses her arms with a frown, moving away from him. “Why did you even bother coming, then?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVmgn09Ife
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Sasuke says nothing, then. He says nothing, and Karin straightens, her back suddenly assaulted by gooseflesh; could he—?585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJdtx6RUtz
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Could he have possibly known? Known how before his unexpected arrival, Karin had been hounded by her memories. Seeing familiar faces in the nameless prisoners of the base, ghosts come back to haunt her and pull her down with them to the depths of hell—a hell made of nothing but flames and guilt of mistakes she is not sure she would take back, even if she could.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUFoC3EtT7
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“…I had business here, is all.” His voice reaches out to her through the haze of her thoughts, pulling her back with nonchalant words that seemed devoid of any meaning.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pCFrw95ma
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But as she turns and her eyes meet his, Karin sees.
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“—in due time, Karin.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EIb0cCmFq
“Still, mama… it just isn’t fair.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6We8RRp4N
“What isn’t, dear?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDP2q3QZmU
“… I wanted to spend my birthday with you and papa.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLak2cVL5B
Her smile—
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At sixteen, Karin falls.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhxGxbmg7f
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She falls from a great, great height at appalling speed; she hasn’t even had time to acknowledge the abysm before she has hit rock bottom, her goals and dreams spilling through her open chest and pooling on the ground alongside everything she knows.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDHhrkCTW7
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Alongside everything she once held dear. Everyone she relied on. The one she trusted.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmT0554J1w
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Now, there was no one left.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYiyTcHl97
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No one left but the roaming, empty carcass of the boy she once loved; the boy who taught her what it felt like to be alive, the boy who gave her hope and helped her find meaning back when she had lost her way, the boy who helped her to be reborn from her ashes into someone better; someone stronger, someone capable of standing up for herself and for him, too. The boy who flared her will and her drive with a single touch, with a single look, with the simplest of words—585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvD912b1dqu
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I need you585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbgjpJfkaO
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“So much for that,” Karin mutters to no one, her back pressed against the cold walls of a cell and her fingers absentmindedly tracing the ghost of the wound that had taken her heart out for good.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2DDCA6nxu
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And then it comes. An almost unnoticeable flicker—too subtle to be perceived, but too longed for to be ignored.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxn1k2H2ZU
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No… I’ve had enough, Sasuke but her withered heart is trying to beat again, and it makes up her mind for her.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz7lV1tD1I
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“…So much for this,” Karin murmurs to herself—and then she is on her feet again, her inner eye tracing his every move.
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—melts.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRAUpfCCSZ
“Cheer up, love. There will be many birthdays left for us to celebrate together.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMPcjk7nO6
“… You promise?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEDaxDgROT
Her gaze softens.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWrYQyT6DO
“I promise.”
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At seventeen, Karin kisses him.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN17KtltNa
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She impulsively crashes her lips against his, her arms thrown around his neck in a desperate attempt to hold onto him—to anchor him down before his essence could have the chance to fade into pitch black darkness again, to feel him before he could have the chance to waste his life—her life, their future—chasing phantoms all the way to the death.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwnLXudk0k
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When the impromptu kiss ends, Karin sees him—the him she knows, the him she loves—flickering across his eyes for the briefest of moments, and she hears her name resounding in her ears even though he has not uttered a single sound.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OTPUUOfHv
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She smiles ruefully; trembling eyes boring into his—and then wordlessly lets him go.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWS4Z337pAZ
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She has given him a reason, but the choice is his to make.
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“Ha, so it was about a boy, I knew it!”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHEfNLASW3
“Shh, mama! I don’t want papa to hear! And… it’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, anyway….”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6utZAnO63
Her mother has to hide her smile, “Actually, Karin… something tells me you just might.”
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At eighteen, Sasuke kisses her back.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmsF1rT5Hz
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It is not nearly as passionate as her—their—first kiss had been; there is no desperation, no adrenaline—but there is craving all the same, waving through the serenity threading over her through the gentle pressure of his fingertips over the nape of her neck, enveloping her like a makeshift cloak and warming her down to her very core.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiI5kMRzf0
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And Karin feels her very essence quiver under it—under the warmth and the way her heart seemed to want to leave her and jump into him instead, to claim the home it has always longed for; the home it has always fought for.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVrqHeCds7
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The home it belonged to.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiSgsgjVdt
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As he kisses her, sunrays clumsily dancing upon her lips, Karin feels like she would vaporize into him if Sasuke were to take a single breath.
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“How do you know?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk92M3IJw5J
“Because, that’s how fate works, Karin.”
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At nineteen, Karin smiles.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsFpNGTijf
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“Itachi,” she says, and Sasuke looks up to her, startled. “The name… Itachi. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxXcIksZed
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Sasuke parts his lips—once, twice—but no sound comes out and soon enough he gives up altogether, lowering his eyes to stare at the bundle in his arms. It stares back at him, impossibly red eyes widened with innocent curiosity, pink tongue sticking out from underneath rosy lips.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEf6bEQbMGT
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“Are you sure, Karin?” he whispers after what seemed like an eternity, and Karin’s smile only widens.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0POAUnksg
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“Yeah.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJpq12sMwb
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And as she sees them—as she sees Sasuke hold their baby as if he were holding the whole, wide world in the crook of his arms—Karin remembers her mother with such vivid clarity that she catches a breath of her perfume. The memory—the vision is bittersweet, and it makes Karin’s throat clog, because she recognizes that look.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVdp6Lu2XJ
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It was the way her mother used to look at her father and her, eyes brimming with love and pride, unspoken but ever-present, never changing. Karin had not been able to understand it, then—585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZKR8bwYio
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But she did, now. And the understanding squeezed her heart in a way that was both, wonderful and terrible. To think it took her this long to finally understand, once and for all, what it all meant.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIx0HjVZf9
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To understand who her mother truly was, what her mother felt, what her mother desired for her—and how her mother hurt.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYI91qLtod5
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You’re special, Karin. She would tell her sometimes, her eyes half-lidded and afflicted by thoughts she would never get the chance to say aloud. One day, you will realize that.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38Vu5FnIkd
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She realized it, now; what it meant to love to her roots, what it meant to be a woman.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTjSxsNnGw
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An Uzumaki woman.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PcSb4crJl
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“… Thank you, Karin.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBWlVQhvcA
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“Idiot,” she shakes her head, weakly, traitorous tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and threatening to spill. “That... should be my line.”
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“They will be here soon,”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOb5QHORXL7
“Who will be here soon, mama?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPzuJH5Zse
“It could be anyone,” she finally replies, and her hold is steady as she combs through Karin’s hair, “we have long since lost any care for their identities, Karin. What matters is… what their presence means.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DIQACCqLr
“And what is that?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡok5JvoXe46
Her silence provides the only answer; and Karin wishes it weren’t enough.
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At twenty, Karin celebrates her birthday for the first time in seven years.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPA4nFFOPYJ
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And it starts with a soft but firm admittance whispered as she caresses the baby’s nose, all too aware of the pleasant weight of Sasuke’s gaze, of the feelings swirling in his chakra.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxYQsglCBi
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Hearing them is unexpected, however—and her widened eyes snap to his only to find his lips beginning to curve, his own hand coming to caress her cheek in much the same way she was doing to their son.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeH4ZEcRPG
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“W—what was that about?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoatID07SW
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She asks; some habits are hard to break, and her awkward way of fighting down her embarrassment seemed to be as persistent as ever.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2oAl8v4TN
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Sasuke doesn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, his smile seems to morph into an amused smirk as he shrugs, noncommittally. “I just felt like saying it, is all.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6YmuoZPRL
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“Dumbass,” she mutters, hoping the darkness will hide the way her cheeks have warmed up like bonfires, so reminiscent of her prepubescent days when all she could do was a dream she would one day lay with Sasuke the way she does now. “...You didn't need to.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdi4uoi7GqX
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“I know, Karin,” and this time he is positively smiling, suddenly mutating back into the Sasuke that had stolen her heart so many years ago. “But it still felt good to say it.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wLj2qtYUm
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Karin says nothing in response; simply snuggles closer to him, eyes on the baby as he opens his eyes and blinks, his little hands curling and uncurling up into the air.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwZUP6uLuL
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“He is going to be strong,” Sasuke assesses, and Karin would have mocked him by how ridiculous it was that he sounds that proud of Itachi when the baby hasn’t even said his first word yet, weren’t it because she felt the same way.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvFSJYnDRi
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He was going to be strong. A little piece of herself and Sasuke—a memento of those who had given their life up for them; a torch for those who had granted them the chance to live this moment.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0q2d2BOON5
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To live this happiness.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlX8165UAMr
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“Happy birthday, Itachi,” she whispers, and squeezes Sasuke’s hand. “I love you.”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9vRYhdPm7
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The words feel dusty, and unknown—but familiar.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhEnMPBqU5
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She knew them, once.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgVevvFO9i
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She has known them all along.
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I'm sorry, Karin.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPFLwTv2B6
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Were the last words her mother told her before her father ushered her out of the house and prompted her to run—run as far as she could, away from them—and forced her to leave them to die.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNsAjJlz5g
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To survive.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2PO7k1eQ5
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Those words used to hunt Karin down in those nights when sleep refused to lend her its hand, the eerie walls of Orochimaru’s hideout caving in on her and Sasuke’s steady chakra being her only relief, her only shield.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXIFa0j3nE
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Yet, what haunted her weren’t the words themselves, but their meaning; Karin had instinctively known then, just as clear as she knows now, that her mother was not apologizing for forcing her to forsake them and live on.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsG5l2wQfx
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No, that was not it—that was not the kind of woman her mother had been.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXc359KTr0
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Instead, she had apologized for something else entirely.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQ6jhr1RvN
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For the unsaid.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdksoWM9sf3
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“What are you thinking about, Karin?”585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGb3j5y98rn
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Her lips curl upward as he takes the seat by her side, repentances fading away into the evening sky.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp820rvTW8D
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“Nothing,” she replies, threading her fingers through his and gazing back to their children, who were laughing and running together through the backyard, a lively mixture of reds and blacks; the Uchiha and Uzumaki crests proudly etched on their backs, on their hearts.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu2dkfVOhe
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“Nothing at all.”
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"You will be fine."585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeokqRN3fJD
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And through the tears and the pain and the loneliness and the longing and the hardships and the fear, Karin should have known better.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnaABoR0ad
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Her mother was always right.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdx92uw4C3g
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end.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpiAC1IvY2
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I... seriously don't know where all this came from; my best guess: Uzumaki feelings. Uzumaki feelings everywhere. lol, I tried to play with the different facets of Karin, and how she grows into each one of them; plus SK, of course.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajzF2VMgrC
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The stuff I wrote here is not quite how I see things going, though; to do that I would have had to write about 395749574 vignettes per year, rather than only one lol so I went for rushed versions of a couple of scenarios I had thought about.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwoBTGI4gw
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Oh and while I did not state it in the fic: every vignette takes place on Karin's birthday, so the baby was born on June 20, too.585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZe4kUms0FX
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Anyway, hopefully, it wasn't that terrible! ♥585Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7jeVXth0P
tags: fanfic, karin, naruto, sasukarin, sasuke
i'm : 
cheerful
listening to: never let me go - florence + the machine
ns216.73.216.82da2
