[FANFIC - HBD, KARIN!] PÉRIODICITÉ (SK)
Title: périodicité538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSChfxQskJ
By: Kanae (Goth-Punk88 @ ff.net)538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSRWf7HAiY
Rating: K+538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvHg9ETUki
Word Count: 2.817538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdwhhtFi34
Author's Notes: Made for our "Karin's birthday week" over at the Ice&Spice FC @ NF ♥ I... don't even know what this is, or where it came from, and it's possibly one of the cheesiest pieces I've written for SK. But I kind of regret nothing lol - Oh and that novice drawing at the top of the fic? yup, mines. guilty as charged orz538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAFcFvTgqg
Summary: June 20 has never been an ordinary day for one Uzumaki Karin.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngL3mKCZSx
périodicité (periodicity)538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzauK8o3NTu
"recurrence at regular intervals of time."
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périodicité;538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOVjXiWFzC
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by Kanae
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“Don’t look so down, darling. This is a great chance for you.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7gXyK0Gav
“…Yeah… a great chance to make a fool of myself, you mean.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuHEZdc7q2
A twinkling laugh, a delicate hand warmly lands over a girl’s head and—
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At twelve, there aren’t many things that Karin has done or that she wishes to do. She is just an ordinary girl from an ordinary family living in an ordinary village; there is nothing special about her, nothing out of the norm, nothing that makes her stand out—if one ignores her flagrant red hair, that is.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBo7odS6S3
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But that is just what her father seems to have wanted to do all along.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeNXAqZYfO
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You’re going out? Don’t forget to put your hood on, Karin, he would say, whenever Karin had to wander away from the immediate realms of their home. Why, papa? She used to ask when she was no more than a little girl; but that was a habit that slowly but surely withered and died as she began to grow up—as she started to grow aware enough to notice the wary air her father’s kind, wise red eyes acquired as the reminder left his lips.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIpQuc9Tcp
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As she grew older, Karin learned to recognize it for what it truly was: more a warning than a piece of advice; and she began to grow more jittery as result, more worn at the seams.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoZCatTJxa
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Her red hair was her only outstanding trait, the only thing that made her different—without it, Karin may as well fade into the scenery.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8wXHsfS6G
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She may as well not exist.
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—and ruffles her hair.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeWBhi0adJ
“Now, now, don’t be like that. I have a good feeling about this, you know?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXWwQwB9XS
“…What do you mean, mama?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbccJUmNTEp
A secretive smile highlighted by—
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At thirteen, Karin nearly dies.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Wz1n5Plxm
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And then she is saved—saved by a striking boy with a rich voice and eyes that warm her up to the core the moment he smiles—at her, for her—and suddenly, Karin does not feel so ordinary anymore.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscim9zeaqn
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There is something different about you, her mother tells her once with a knowing smile, ever since you came back from Konoha.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINqRJDaBoZ
Karin jumps in her seat, awkward denial bubbling up in her throat and evaporating the moment her mother laughs, I like it. You look prettier, Karin.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrlP5QOZUo
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She does not know about that—can’t see any difference as she looks at herself in the mirror, self-consciously pulling on some strands of red hair and squinting at her reflection.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWu00GZZKcd
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What she does know, though—what she can’t forget, is—538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr59XsuB27U
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See ya, he had said, and it takes Karin a surprising amount of time to realize that, for the first time since she could remember, there was something she wanted.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimGiPkeUj8
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Wanted for herself; not for her parents, not for those she cares about. Something that was completely hers, in all its staggering intensity and youthful hope.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQdLhFH3ES
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See ya, he had said, and until then Karin had never quite known how good it felt to feel alive.
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—by amber eyes that seem to spark.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaUmgFYWVr
“Ara~ I wonder if I should tell you. It is a safely guarded secret, you see.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXr9RRHDMH
“I will keep it! I promise, I won’t tell anybody, mama!”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnJt6yDshZ
A chuckle, “Alright, alright! Since you insist, I'll tell you. It—”
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At fourteen, Karin breathes her last breath.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cu9sBdRk6
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There is no blood—not hers—involved, nor are there any wounds—not physical ones—or any white walls or tunnels and gates of light—no light, only dark—only smoke—only the smell of burnt flesh and intest—538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0qFnTxOxJ
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There is, however, anguish. An agony so great that Karin bit her lip until it bled, fisted her palms until her nails left permanent crescent-moon shaped scars in the contours of her skin, new batches added to already cracked life lines.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7GPIKumrX
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There are silent, chocked sobs that made her throat burn and her sight blur until she has ran out of tears.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcr8uoBJBLG
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And there is also horror; a burning, paralyzing sort of horror that reaches its peak and fades into a mute but perpetual tune stringing the chords of her being as she comes back and stares at the corpses of her father and mother, unrecognizable masses of ashes retching of burnt blood and bodily fluids that make a pile of vile crawl its way up to her tongue.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmb3Hdyg7V
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And then, there is he—sidestepping the man with ominous dark chakra and extending a hand towards her, onyx eyes boring into her own with the same might with which the understanding in his chakra drove her horror away.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVm9VJU23e
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You staying here will amount to nothing, but you leaving just might, he says. Come, Karin, he calls.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtqStOAjVM
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She takes his hand, and there is hope.
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“—It is said that one too many women in our family have found their fate in the lands of Konohagakure.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlGnVPW5Cw
“Their… fate?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUjFSRfw50
Her voice curls up around the edges, as if it were a spell.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMHEHFbLmX
“You will understand in—”
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At fifteen, Karin has shed her skin.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfulVJcE2e
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There are now sharp edges where there used to be soft contours; angry frowns where there used to be kindness, smirks where there used to be smiles; buoyancy where there once was shame, barriers in what once were vast landscapes—and there are also scars.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpogNuf8RgQ
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Tell-tale scars of the Karin she used to be and new, revolting ones from the Karin she has become. She hides the latter and denies the former; pretends they’re long gone, never aching, never hurting anymore.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFO2daYJ6a
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Yet, he sees them all. As if she wore them on her sleeve.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBu10OAbeY3
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“Say, Sasuke, since we’re alone how about we—”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPBL38wS0p
“I have to leave soon, Karin.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsf8CfhdojR
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She puts her glasses back on and crosses her arms with a frown, moving away from him. “Why did you even bother coming, then?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36xfPhaL3G
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Sasuke says nothing, then. He says nothing, and Karin straightens, her back suddenly assaulted by gooseflesh; could he—?538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyblOMz6nWd
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Could he have possibly known? Known how before his unexpected arrival, Karin had been hounded by her memories. Seeing familiar faces in the nameless prisoners of the base, ghosts come back to haunt her and pull her down with them to the depths of hell—a hell made of nothing but flames and guilt of mistakes she is not sure she would take back, even if she could.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uNusjlN2D
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“…I had business here, is all.” His voice reaches out to her through the haze of her thoughts, pulling her back with nonchalant words that seemed devoid of any meaning.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70WNdylIU2
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But as she turns and her eyes meet his, Karin sees.
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“—in due time, Karin.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkW8MqITL2y
“Still, mama… it just isn’t fair.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzSc7uR6qI
“What isn’t, dear?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3tC1bG9uE
“… I wanted to spend my birthday with you and papa.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJRUDnu3xA
Her smile—
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At sixteen, Karin falls.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQfbQXRtg8
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She falls from a great, great height at appalling speed; she hasn’t even had time to acknowledge the abysm before she has hit rock bottom, her goals and dreams spilling through her open chest and pooling on the ground alongside everything she knows.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxU9rs8UxN
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Alongside everything she once held dear. Everyone she relied on. The one she trusted.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7J2X3uimZh
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Now, there was no one left.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNDVRvLVHW
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No one left but the roaming, empty carcass of the boy she once loved; the boy who taught her what it felt like to be alive, the boy who gave her hope and helped her find meaning back when she had lost her way, the boy who helped her to be reborn from her ashes into someone better; someone stronger, someone capable of standing up for herself and for him, too. The boy who flared her will and her drive with a single touch, with a single look, with the simplest of words—538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpsF8CW3jG
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I need you538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CGEjaR2oi
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“So much for that,” Karin mutters to no one, her back pressed against the cold walls of a cell and her fingers absentmindedly tracing the ghost of the wound that had taken her heart out for good.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bmVJ1sVFk
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And then it comes. An almost unnoticeable flicker—too subtle to be perceived, but too longed for to be ignored.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVxdANyrfi
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No… I’ve had enough, Sasuke but her withered heart is trying to beat again, and it makes up her mind for her.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QgZUAdzQj
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“…So much for this,” Karin murmurs to herself—and then she is on her feet again, her inner eye tracing his every move.
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—melts.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvd7mlAnAS
“Cheer up, love. There will be many birthdays left for us to celebrate together.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RxDp6A0Th
“… You promise?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Vy3Rzgftn
Her gaze softens.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpBUIg5MnX
“I promise.”
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At seventeen, Karin kisses him.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENAMKC3CUr
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She impulsively crashes her lips against his, her arms thrown around his neck in a desperate attempt to hold onto him—to anchor him down before his essence could have the chance to fade into pitch black darkness again, to feel him before he could have the chance to waste his life—her life, their future—chasing phantoms all the way to the death.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHI8qL7orgF
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When the impromptu kiss ends, Karin sees him—the him she knows, the him she loves—flickering across his eyes for the briefest of moments, and she hears her name resounding in her ears even though he has not uttered a single sound.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0ATcgdBbe
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She smiles ruefully; trembling eyes boring into his—and then wordlessly lets him go.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFuOFTKppI
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She has given him a reason, but the choice is his to make.
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“Ha, so it was about a boy, I knew it!”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXVwcvhFiz
“Shh, mama! I don’t want papa to hear! And… it’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, anyway….”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs15MZuGcOT
Her mother has to hide her smile, “Actually, Karin… something tells me you just might.”
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At eighteen, Sasuke kisses her back.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQeY1WMSUa
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It is not nearly as passionate as her—their—first kiss had been; there is no desperation, no adrenaline—but there is craving all the same, waving through the serenity threading over her through the gentle pressure of his fingertips over the nape of her neck, enveloping her like a makeshift cloak and warming her down to her very core.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXsgGKPK4n
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And Karin feels her very essence quiver under it—under the warmth and the way her heart seemed to want to leave her and jump into him instead, to claim the home it has always longed for; the home it has always fought for.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3C2tCZYQs
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The home it belonged to.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIGIfMf1YE
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As he kisses her, sunrays clumsily dancing upon her lips, Karin feels like she would vaporize into him if Sasuke were to take a single breath.
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“How do you know?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewKsC1YnN8
“Because, that’s how fate works, Karin.”
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At nineteen, Karin smiles.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMPgQeC9Ra
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“Itachi,” she says, and Sasuke looks up to her, startled. “The name… Itachi. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOCsuaOz2f
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Sasuke parts his lips—once, twice—but no sound comes out and soon enough he gives up altogether, lowering his eyes to stare at the bundle in his arms. It stares back at him, impossibly red eyes widened with innocent curiosity, pink tongue sticking out from underneath rosy lips.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJKkeGz18f
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“Are you sure, Karin?” he whispers after what seemed like an eternity, and Karin’s smile only widens.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcx0ZMwPIe
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“Yeah.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa4XwjJD7E
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And as she sees them—as she sees Sasuke hold their baby as if he were holding the whole, wide world in the crook of his arms—Karin remembers her mother with such vivid clarity that she catches a breath of her perfume. The memory—the vision is bittersweet, and it makes Karin’s throat clog, because she recognizes that look.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagEb0R8XKP
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It was the way her mother used to look at her father and her, eyes brimming with love and pride, unspoken but ever-present, never changing. Karin had not been able to understand it, then—538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fAmgnSA49
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But she did, now. And the understanding squeezed her heart in a way that was both, wonderful and terrible. To think it took her this long to finally understand, once and for all, what it all meant.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0SjB95v0E
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To understand who her mother truly was, what her mother felt, what her mother desired for her—and how her mother hurt.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovqVHT9SDM
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You’re special, Karin. She would tell her sometimes, her eyes half-lidded and afflicted by thoughts she would never get the chance to say aloud. One day, you will realize that.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3oMVciWYp
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She realized it, now; what it meant to love to her roots, what it meant to be a woman.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrdYocjGuS
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An Uzumaki woman.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XTi0GySqh
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“… Thank you, Karin.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VnCqPRW37
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“Idiot,” she shakes her head, weakly, traitorous tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and threatening to spill. “That... should be my line.”
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“They will be here soon,”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSyN3m0HA4
“Who will be here soon, mama?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRiKiiRGA8
“It could be anyone,” she finally replies, and her hold is steady as she combs through Karin’s hair, “we have long since lost any care for their identities, Karin. What matters is… what their presence means.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0w542g2LG
“And what is that?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNbkOq8BiP
Her silence provides the only answer; and Karin wishes it weren’t enough.
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At twenty, Karin celebrates her birthday for the first time in seven years.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NwTLqAVw2
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And it starts with a soft but firm admittance whispered as she caresses the baby’s nose, all too aware of the pleasant weight of Sasuke’s gaze, of the feelings swirling in his chakra.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxIhjJBLxV
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Hearing them is unexpected, however—and her widened eyes snap to his only to find his lips beginning to curve, his own hand coming to caress her cheek in much the same way she was doing to their son.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUYJNgDjdl
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“W—what was that about?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb98F5vcEl
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She asks; some habits are hard to break, and her awkward way of fighting down her embarrassment seemed to be as persistent as ever.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OtPtIaH7z
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Sasuke doesn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, his smile seems to morph into an amused smirk as he shrugs, noncommittally. “I just felt like saying it, is all.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nHX5WpYuZ
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“Dumbass,” she mutters, hoping the darkness will hide the way her cheeks have warmed up like bonfires, so reminiscent of her prepubescent days when all she could do was a dream she would one day lay with Sasuke the way she does now. “...You didn't need to.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtCnrXWgmN
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“I know, Karin,” and this time he is positively smiling, suddenly mutating back into the Sasuke that had stolen her heart so many years ago. “But it still felt good to say it.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIiuLw7L3k
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Karin says nothing in response; simply snuggles closer to him, eyes on the baby as he opens his eyes and blinks, his little hands curling and uncurling up into the air.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyLB2ikE3g
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“He is going to be strong,” Sasuke assesses, and Karin would have mocked him by how ridiculous it was that he sounds that proud of Itachi when the baby hasn’t even said his first word yet, weren’t it because she felt the same way.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpqtIRSp66
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He was going to be strong. A little piece of herself and Sasuke—a memento of those who had given their life up for them; a torch for those who had granted them the chance to live this moment.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMq6YW0Gu9H
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To live this happiness.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VRoX2JlWr
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“Happy birthday, Itachi,” she whispers, and squeezes Sasuke’s hand. “I love you.”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjspZHTuBqm
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The words feel dusty, and unknown—but familiar.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu90SYG1Zug
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She knew them, once.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXeJKi1cx8
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She has known them all along.
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I'm sorry, Karin.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOkJbvhntM
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Were the last words her mother told her before her father ushered her out of the house and prompted her to run—run as far as she could, away from them—and forced her to leave them to die.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlITNnhDIB
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To survive.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9H0VhnPCY2
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Those words used to hunt Karin down in those nights when sleep refused to lend her its hand, the eerie walls of Orochimaru’s hideout caving in on her and Sasuke’s steady chakra being her only relief, her only shield.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ971qBjXiqR
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Yet, what haunted her weren’t the words themselves, but their meaning; Karin had instinctively known then, just as clear as she knows now, that her mother was not apologizing for forcing her to forsake them and live on.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDhO8DSeSg
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No, that was not it—that was not the kind of woman her mother had been.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIxwhNrhAL
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Instead, she had apologized for something else entirely.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2l6lLxzw7
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For the unsaid.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWZdpjZ49w
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“What are you thinking about, Karin?”538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5U2xmKZmH
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Her lips curl upward as he takes the seat by her side, repentances fading away into the evening sky.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOE9ZeOxbWG
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“Nothing,” she replies, threading her fingers through his and gazing back to their children, who were laughing and running together through the backyard, a lively mixture of reds and blacks; the Uchiha and Uzumaki crests proudly etched on their backs, on their hearts.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gsC8hrFMM
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“Nothing at all.”
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"You will be fine."538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHIX5AuBCM
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And through the tears and the pain and the loneliness and the longing and the hardships and the fear, Karin should have known better.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkZA3V90oB
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Her mother was always right.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CFxam2h21
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end.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhqHZaL8lT
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I... seriously don't know where all this came from; my best guess: Uzumaki feelings. Uzumaki feelings everywhere. lol, I tried to play with the different facets of Karin, and how she grows into each one of them; plus SK, of course.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4eS10CmZS
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The stuff I wrote here is not quite how I see things going, though; to do that I would have had to write about 395749574 vignettes per year, rather than only one lol so I went for rushed versions of a couple of scenarios I had thought about.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDsMHKG9bs
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Oh and while I did not state it in the fic: every vignette takes place on Karin's birthday, so the baby was born on June 20, too.538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqATLpUYSz5
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Anyway, hopefully, it wasn't that terrible! ♥538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiazSNj6xw
tags: fanfic, karin, naruto, sasukarin, sasuke
i'm : 
cheerful
listening to: never let me go - florence + the machine
ns216.73.216.197da2
