
hewo~! okay, anyways. idk what i'm doing but have fun reading, i guess.
1. recall your most embarrassing memory481Please respect copyright.PENANA6Hm1ZCYDjf
okay. welp, this is going to be weird to write about. okay, so, i was in 5th grade and i had the audacity to sign up for the talent show. so, i signed up and i went to rehearsal, right? i cried in front everyone at rehearsal. then the next night, we had a night where all the kids in the talent show performed in front everyone's parents. what did i do? i cried. again. then the next day, we peformed again but it was in front of the entire school, including my crush. mind you, i was wearing this ugly dress and i thought i was cute. then we were back in that era where we thought the orange justice dance was the shit. so, muy friend was shy and she was dancing so i went out onto the stage with her and danced sicne for some reason, i knew the entire dance to the entire song..? then my turn came and i had to put the ugly dress on, i went on stage and started to sing rise up by andra day and what did i do, once again? i fucking cried. yep. in front of my crush and everything. life sucks, mate.
2. think about the last time that you laughed until you cried. 481Please respect copyright.PENANAIwsRnt2a1H
that had to be like yesterday. i think i laughed at something bunny said and then started crying because it was so funny. maybe it wasn't yesterday but it was damn near last week or something. eh, idgaf.
3. write a story about what would happen if your day went in reverse. hint: the story would begin when you were in your pajamas and ready for bed.481Please respect copyright.PENANAMLlY6fVdOr
*acting like a vlogger on youtube from 2016* hi, guys. so, i'm in bed right now. i can't get back up for a few more hours because of my schedule. *a few hours earlier..?* okay, hi. i'm in the bathroom right now taking my clothes off and using the shower. *after shower* i'm putting my clothes back on now. hold on, ms. shi! i'm getting undressed. --- omfg, i can't do this. it's too weird.
5. what was the best joke that you heard during the last week? what made that joke so funny to you?481Please respect copyright.PENANALWp5oKaJ26
the funniest joke to me in the past week was said on saturday when we were at barnes & noble. lovely, bunny and i were sitting in the little kids section, reading when out of no where lovely said, 'are you eleven protons because you're sodium fine.' and i stared at her. then i realized what she said and i started cackling.
6. make a list of your favorite puns.481Please respect copyright.PENANA7CcDJtCW8x
i might seem lame right now but i don't pay attention to puns...
7. write a movie review about the funniest movie that you have ever seen.481Please respect copyright.PENANArbB2P7FoIK
*acting like a famous journalist* hello, my name is alex ugliana. today i am going to write a movie review about the movie- i give up. i'm not good at explaining things without spoiling it.
8. pretend that you are going to be performing a stand-up comedy act for your friends and family members. write a draft of what your act might sound like.481Please respect copyright.PENANAynSr7t8pVA
hehe, okay. *clears throat and gets accent ready* *using "country" accent* hey there, y'all! my name is alex and i'm here tahday tah tell yeh fellers about the trump family! i believe thet man, donald trump, was a good president. and that's not jest becuz i'm caucasian and african amurican. i swear tah yer, he was a good man in my eyes. omfg, i give up. wtf am i writing? *yeets self into dumpster*
9. consider something that you are most scared of, and then write a story about a character encountering that fear. make sure the character has a reaction to their fear that is so exaggerated it becomes funny.481Please respect copyright.PENANAYrrihYo8Li
okay, lemme try this. i'm scared of the dark. lemma alone. omg. anyways-- genevieve walked into her home late at night. "i knew i shouldn't have gone to that stupid 'get together'." she groans --bitch wtf--. her house was pitch black. she couldn't see anything as she took off her shoes. she tried to flip on a light switch. it didn't work. she tried over and over again. "holy fuck, did i pay the light bill?" she said --shoulda never sucked dick for free, genevieve. omg, i'm going to hell-- she digs in her pocket for her phone. she turned on the flashlight. she walked through her house, heart beating like crazy, mind running at what could've caused her lights not to work. she walks past the couch and the corner of the couch grazes her thigh. she screams bloody murder. "oh my fucking god!" she screams and runs through her house like a little bitch. she runs into the kitchen counter. "ouch!" she yells. she goes for another light switch. it doesn't work either. she screams even louder. she runs to her room and flips on the light. she breathes a heavy sigh, seeing the darkness disappear from the light. --you know what? i declare gore!-- then a blade stabs into her neck. she gasps and chokes up blood, holding her neck. she bleeds all over her carpets. thoughts are running through her mind. am i dying? eh, i don't care. oh my fucking god! there is blood on my carpets! wait- who stabbed me? she turns around and there is the dark behind her. she falls to the ground and dies. you know, i liked where that went. morbid as fuck but who gives a shit. i liked it. i'm weird. anyways-- NEXT~!
10. how would you describe your own sense of humor?481Please respect copyright.PENANAGbEURM3vrX
i would descibe my sense of humor to be kind of morbid, kind of crazy, not really that funny but somehow funny to other people. i think i'm a crackhead that doesn't do crack....make sense? yeah? okay, bye.
11. write a list of funny excuses that you could use to get out of doing your homework.481Please respect copyright.PENANAiMDa9CgAyp
okay, bet. number one - so what had happened was, i didn't really know what to do so i gave it to my mom and she got angry with it so she gave it back to me and told me to get the fuck out of her room so i went to the mall and got on the airplane and drove to japan and then i biked to south korea over the sea and i dropped it on my way to south korea. so it's in the ocean between japan and south korea. i mean, feel free to look in the ocean. i hope you don't drown. *silently wishing for them to drown* *smiles all inocently* number two - my pet dragon at it. number three - i got free tickets to a bts concert with backstage tickets and i needed the paper to make a poster for bts. number four - i cried and got it all wet and then my little brother got hungry so i fed my brother my homework for dinner because i was depression and did not feel like cooking. number five - wait- we had homework? oh my god, was that what i used to pick up my unicorn's shit? i'm so sorry! number six - i lost it in zamunda. you don't know what zamunda is? oh my god, it's in africa. what type of social studies teacher are you? what the fuck do you mean, 'why was i in zamunda'? i was studying, idiot. number seven - i was sick and i used the paper as toilet paper. don't ask me what sickness i had, you icky nasty, oh my god! you disgust me. okay, lemme stop.
12. write a funny short story in which the main character is your alter ego/you.481Please respect copyright.PENANAIv3U3d5WO2
funny? mm. i'll see if i can do it. so first here is my ego or aura, whatever. i'm nice, sweet, funny, "pretty", adorable, friendly, sometimes ghetto especially when i'm mad and i seem very social but i really don't like people. so, my alter ego would be someone who absolutely the opposite except for the fact that i'd still be funny and ghetto. story (btw this'll be like when i first moved here so jazzy won't be in this): i walk down the stairs of my new group home. all the heads turn towards me. the staff, bunny, gorgeous and kitkat. they all look at me, wide-eyed. i sigh, heavily and walk towards them, not wanting to get to know them. "hi." gorgeous says. "wassup." i say, sliding my hoodie on. omg, i give up. i can't do this lmao.
13. have you ever tried to use your own sense of humor to impress someone? write about whether or not your jokes worked their magic.481Please respect copyright.PENANAgDknrPMZug
i mean, yeah, mate. how do you think i have emmi? she likes me because i'm pretty, funny, loud/energetic, and i kind of don't care what people think about me.
14. think about an inside joke that you share with a friend or family member. how did that inside joke come to be? 481Please respect copyright.PENANAkq6Qsxhpwr
bet~! me and bunny were just doing it. free real estate. i walked up to her one day and slid my hand down her arm and said that in a weird/seductive way and ever since then, it's been a thing. we were just trying to explain it to her boyfriend, lion. and yesterday, we were watching a movie and the thingy said in a british accent, 'and i'm greedy with the soup.' so now, that's a thing. we have too many inside jokes. i make too many jokes.
~~
i guess i'm doing those question things again. emmi looks sexy today, holy shet. anyways--
~~
full name? - lady leilani waterton of dogde charger.481Please respect copyright.PENANAu4MHHzqEXH
girl bestie? - coco <3481Please respect copyright.PENANAhpMjDFYYu0
boy bestie? - idek anymore. i need a boy bestie.481Please respect copyright.PENANA6HBQKxVpBQ
age? - seven years old.481Please respect copyright.PENANAWNZ4LvjAmp
last person i texted? - idfk.481Please respect copyright.PENANAVNe2eFTySt
last person i called? - probably my little brother.481Please respect copyright.PENANALVO5ZJjU14
current crush? - my girlfriend, emmi, tf?481Please respect copyright.PENANACWKE1gTaVB
random fact? - i like food.481Please respect copyright.PENANA8dg97Hue2T
single or taken? - big, fat taken.481Please respect copyright.PENANAuR5i7Pbr6L
favourite quote? - if it delicious, it's zero calories. said by wwh.481Please respect copyright.PENANAdx77dNQrs9
first kiss? - bitch wtf?481Please respect copyright.PENANADVhp3nQrhk
ever smoked? - nope.481Please respect copyright.PENANADbDkcCVDV3
ever done drugs? - nope~481Please respect copyright.PENANA7GBdRbOqBj
ever been drunk? - i don't drink.481Please respect copyright.PENANA9eY1GjK6ix
longest relationship? - five and a half months.481Please respect copyright.PENANAKRz7eTjRuv
pet peeve? - my little brother. his entire existent. but i still love him.481Please respect copyright.PENANA3YYvZ70oks
eye colour? - brown. my little brother's eyes are really pretty.481Please respect copyright.PENANAhGMMzZoxWD
birthday? - 1930.01.01-- nah, i'm playing but no one needs to know my birthday.481Please respect copyright.PENANAXoEVgMTSZO
obsession? - kpop.481Please respect copyright.PENANAontKm1c5rh
do you give second chances? - that depends.481Please respect copyright.PENANAWTzAZv1xBl
play any sports? - no, bitch. the hell do i look like?481Please respect copyright.PENANApX6rWNBDLm
dream job? - kpop idol or just a singer in general.481Please respect copyright.PENANATMh2GGVzJ1
day or night? - idk.481Please respect copyright.PENANAs4nLTsOJX2
your idea of a perfec date? - idk.481Please respect copyright.PENANAA06lIM81BN
sing in the shower? - yes, motherfucker. i throw whole ass concerts in the shower.481Please respect copyright.PENANALFx7xEQM18
favourite colour(s)? - purple and black.481Please respect copyright.PENANAINmb30Szlz
any tattoos? - nope. i'm lame.481Please respect copyright.PENANA4UFApCLzfJ
any peircings? - yes, in my ears.481Please respect copyright.PENANAouq6J4Jgag
favourite movie(s)? - idk.481Please respect copyright.PENANAvLnifA8Obi
current mood? - bored and tired.481Please respect copyright.PENANAumehk1BHJS
jealous of? - a lot of things.481Please respect copyright.PENANAk2oHxotfgf
place you want to visit? - south korea and cambodia.481Please respect copyright.PENANA4Voj34wfwu
pets? - two dogs.481Please respect copyright.PENANAZfjUZs9q3d
last song you listened to? - spring day and currently listening to crystal snow and trying not to cry. so far succesful in not crying and the song is ending.481Please respect copyright.PENANAAMZJuBbMoY
favourite number? - seven.481Please respect copyright.PENANAv72us21f92
nicknames? - vanilla, alex, suga, steph.481Please respect copyright.PENANAabgHIp45Sh
siblings? - 5 older sisters and 2 brothers.481Please respect copyright.PENANA3JW3gnYvEt
afraid of the dark? - yes.481Please respect copyright.PENANAXdzb6R6wZI
one wish? - to be happy for real.481Please respect copyright.PENANAoX1GMqA4Ny
something you want to do!? - live life. vibe, you know?481Please respect copyright.PENANATV4U09OMY9
~481Please respect copyright.PENANA0j0JeXQdzN
full name? - mind your fucking business, damn.481Please respect copyright.PENANAeEfvlGfynf
age? - i'm still seven years old.481Please respect copyright.PENANAggBMyiz7Ba
idols? - bts, stray kids, blackpink, kamla harris, etc.481Please respect copyright.PENANA756q05C5Ik
something you hate about yourself? - my body.481Please respect copyright.PENANAHggGgaOzg9
something you like about yourself? - idk.481Please respect copyright.PENANASPqB5wZbrq
someone you hate? - jason derulo and donald trump.481Please respect copyright.PENANAi3axznT5Yj
favourite band? - bts.481Please respect copyright.PENANAxFeMHaTfmV
say 'sexy' what do you think of? - that time when stray kids was still nine members and they were roleplaying. felix was a grand father and he has this old man voice and it was still sexy but funny. but that's not it. he said sexy instead of saekshi, i guess and woojin corrected him and felix kept saying saekshi over and over. oh, i also think of bts and just-- agh!481Please respect copyright.PENANAjJQwu1WjgB
ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend? - no, of course not.481Please respect copyright.PENANAg3bpg7geSV
where do you want to be right now? - idk. south korea.481Please respect copyright.PENANAfkP55OjgjU
girl crush? - emmi.481Please respect copyright.PENANAz23UsoWzqb
boy crush? - bts. plural, bitch.481Please respect copyright.PENANAnkcZe1TBtn
an embarrassing memory? - look at this top ^481Please respect copyright.PENANAVPUYz9cUAe
talents? - singing.481Please respect copyright.PENANA1QcBoMpnjZ
soemone i miss? - my step-mom.481Please respect copyright.PENANAww07espxlV
someone i love? - emmi.481Please respect copyright.PENANAmh9zr103f2
my future goals? - idk. graduate school. succeed in life, i guess.481Please respect copyright.PENANAtD7fB2wODe
a confession? - i am not ninety-one years old.481Please respect copyright.PENANA35Ib9ZQtPy
something i'm addicted to? - love and affection even though i don't get a lot of them. oh, also, drugs! yeah, no. i'm playing.481Please respect copyright.PENANAFBJPSqDjk5
favourite animal? - dogs.481Please respect copyright.PENANAxjs5PlTme2
favourite tv couples? - weiyoung and touba jun. minde and di. jin-wook and yu-mi. spongebob and sandy. probably more but i don't feel like going through them all. 481Please respect copyright.PENANAlkCdCFavHa
ships? - namjin, jikook, taekook, sope.481Please respect copyright.PENANA4S04jlNNHO
worst movie you've ever saw? - i don't remember what it was called but it was just terrible. i was so cunfused.481Please respect copyright.PENANAcMbhiTzB6H
what's your biggest wish? - to be a singer.481Please respect copyright.PENANAr4xvkbcQ0N
bad habits? - hitting people out of affection. being sarcastic.481Please respect copyright.PENANAQJAz893h9E
food you hate? - pineapple pizza, school luch fried chicken because that chicken be fake and disgusting. caviar. 481Please respect copyright.PENANAa9SioPITMk
hair colour? - brown. i'm ugly as fuck so when i say i feel sexy, ignore that shit.481Please respect copyright.PENANAGBrlvn7HbM
favourite kind of ice cream? - cookies & cream and chocolate.481Please respect copyright.PENANABWOOSyKW6h
~481Please respect copyright.PENANAR5uq6nxsIG
gender? - oppa attack helicopter and/or female.481Please respect copyright.PENANA5axnYyFTuk
country? - i don't live on earth. 481Please respect copyright.PENANARdHaxHekHt
languages you speak? - lunarian, trigedasleng, english, tiny korean, sorta french, kinda spanish.481Please respect copyright.PENANA3LZsIz0es1
last lie you told? - that i'm pretty.481Please respect copyright.PENANAB6SsNIVRgH
favourite subject in school? - english language arts.481Please respect copyright.PENANAt8hO4rcHTk
most expensive item you own? - a pair of vans.481Please respect copyright.PENANA9gAqBqAdA9
country with your favourite accent? - australia.481Please respect copyright.PENANAAeHbd6jGp3
do you have any children? - i was about to answer like, bitch wtf, no. but i do. li minde, touba jun, touba yu, cheng de, li weiyoung, jun tao, bai zhi, jungkook, jennie, lisa, ni-ki, all of txt, jasper from the 100, etc. i have a lot of kids.481Please respect copyright.PENANA9WFV2hYJfe
dog or cat person? - both.481Please respect copyright.PENANAXP43xkGv5V
first kiss? if so, what age? - yes. thirteen years old.481Please respect copyright.PENANAQGz9JdkqPs
do you live in a house or apartment? - nosy, i declare. i live in a house. damn.481Please respect copyright.PENANAnDZlxvGjfc
do you belive in God? - idk.481Please respect copyright.PENANAhZLh6Zmcv3
single or taken? - taken.481Please respect copyright.PENANAWV178AfSZ1
favourite body part of the opposite gender? - well, damn. heh heh. nah, perverts. torso and hands, omg. *dies*481Please respect copyright.PENANACx7MWZWMvJ
birthday year? - 1930.481Please respect copyright.PENANAvm5NenuuDd
celebrity crush? - holy fuck, dude. i have a lot.481Please respect copyright.PENANAEfOWJT0hBH
age? - what's that?481Please respect copyright.PENANARg0KR9f58Q
enthinicity? - african american.481Please respect copyright.PENANAEq8vE7kgrM
tea or coffee? - neither.481Please respect copyright.PENANA7giid32rin
random skill you have? - i can make people smile.481Please respect copyright.PENANAc6MUPINGZr
prefer hugs or kisses? - i mean, both. *slow motion walks looking stupid as fuck*481Please respect copyright.PENANAu0Ja3e2nLG
favourite food? - ice cream.481Please respect copyright.PENANAuvgVI8Ng0i
last person you saw naked? - myself, you fucking icky nasty. 481Please respect copyright.PENANAiulFa1IEyR
shared nudes? - damn, people are nosy but yes.481Please respect copyright.PENANAQiaOVcQLTr
eye colour? - the rainbow. get on my level.481Please respect copyright.PENANAb7rCyxICF5
favourite soda? - sprite.481Please respect copyright.PENANAdpymskoJTQ
biggest pet peeve? - people being people.481Please respect copyright.PENANA2ItezQbBpg
can you swim? - yes, wtf?481Please respect copyright.PENANAEYD1OSgjFp
favourite song at the moment? - 19 by stray kids but that could change every 2 seconds. honestly i don't think i have a favourite song.481Please respect copyright.PENANAYS9CANVFGn
do you watch porn? - no, but i have with my cousin and her friends because we wanted to see the tony lopez leaked video so we searched porn hub. one thing went to another and we ended up seeing an apparent james charles leaked sex tape and then my cousin and her friend sat there and watched a bondage for like an hour while me and her other friend decided to cleanse our eyes with bleach and protect our assholes.481Please respect copyright.PENANAKh8mgxfhWh
virgin? - yes, omg. nasty.481Please respect copyright.PENANA5RTwqItWgs
favourite social media platform(s) - twitter, weverse, snapchat.481Please respect copyright.PENANAjEvDjGo9lj
colour of your current bed sheets? - weird question but, uhm, they're grey...yep *nodding*481Please respect copyright.PENANAgdFwrzvL8Q
apple or andriod? - apple.481Please respect copyright.PENANA5h52yNApV7
best dessert? - mochi.481Please respect copyright.PENANA3k2ceGhPGo
~481Please respect copyright.PENANA5bFbEiMALA
have you ever:481Please respect copyright.PENANAOl5mfV5UuC
1. skipped class? - yes.481Please respect copyright.PENANABVskPMollp
2. done drugs? - no.481Please respect copyright.PENANAWIBP1oEa05
3. self-harmed? - yes.481Please respect copyright.PENANAgSJ8Fxa43X
4. drank? - no.481Please respect copyright.PENANAY6iLMGImCq
5. shoplifted? - yes.481Please respect copyright.PENANAeAFme6jS7y
6. gotten a tattoo? - no.481Please respect copyright.PENANAr7yq8etY0Y
7. broken up with someone? - yes.481Please respect copyright.PENANA3xQDMj6Wnn
what's your favourite:481Please respect copyright.PENANAOhJHRyDSHv
8. show? - the princess weiyoung.481Please respect copyright.PENANADTKD6pu29C
9. movie? - break the silence.481Please respect copyright.PENANA44VeBFnZLD
10. song? - idk anymore and i just answered that, like, 5 minutes ago, omg.481Please respect copyright.PENANAJp9BhkNMg8
11. artist? - bts.481Please respect copyright.PENANAkgX7AMFbN0
12. singer or band? - bts.481Please respect copyright.PENANARi0ePoxYhP
13. memory? - idk.481Please respect copyright.PENANAiaD85HNEjv
14. book? - the cruel prince.481Please respect copyright.PENANA14CwJvTHGC
this or that:481Please respect copyright.PENANA02mIUyPit8
15. invisibility or ability to fly? - fly.481Please respect copyright.PENANAceepZC2CcH
16. cookies or cake? - cookies.481Please respect copyright.PENANAMSnKYe5c5m
17. twitter or facebook? - twitter.481Please respect copyright.PENANARUlTfDUlZM
18. movies or books? - idk.481Please respect copyright.PENANAv8T3BOXD0d
19. coke or sprite? - sprite.481Please respect copyright.PENANA4vEu9sCvOh
20. blind of deaf? - blind.481Please respect copyright.PENANAVH8XXTTYuQ
21. tea or coffee? - neither.481Please respect copyright.PENANAYgRJgUZRp0
what's your:481Please respect copyright.PENANA7N8FCW4fgx
22. age? - ninety-one.481Please respect copyright.PENANAXeDGmzm9EF
23. zodiac sign? - virgo/libra cusp.481Please respect copyright.PENANAXEfObFqC6J
24. height? - 4'11.481Please respect copyright.PENANA8MIFkU7l69
25. sexual orientation? - bisexual.481Please respect copyright.PENANA3qkntzVikg
26. shoe size? - seven.481Please respect copyright.PENANAUhtp9Ej0qI
27. religion? - i'm not religious.481Please respect copyright.PENANABxlJ0cAwYe
28. longest relationship? - like, five months.481Please respect copyright.PENANAQPfI89JPDn
opinion on: 481Please respect copyright.PENANAqSRT0t465z
29. gay rights? - i'm gay...481Please respect copyright.PENANAL4luIDMl49
30. second chances? - it depends.481Please respect copyright.PENANAk9gEezfNPZ
31. long distance relationships? - don't get hurt, baby.481Please respect copyright.PENANAHooMi9Oq8R
32. abortion? - ew.481Please respect copyright.PENANAfiqx5X70xN
33. a death penalty? - ew.481Please respect copyright.PENANADrg5cd86eZ
34. marijuana? - i likes that.481Please respect copyright.PENANAcnsfJzcKjJ
35. love? - what's love?481Please respect copyright.PENANAAMnkNIj1J1
do you:481Please respect copyright.PENANAn22cXHf92J
36. belive in ghosts? - sorta kinda.481Please respect copyright.PENANA4uXYgF9fzm
481Please respect copyright.PENANAyMglcfhzcW
omg, bye. i'm tired of this.
- Alex <3481Please respect copyright.PENANACQ4TGVNELO