每次想及那傢伙，他心裡難免生恨。可是恨不了多久，恨意自然而然會被無奈與無力取代，彷彿不曾生起。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlw10l9uwj9
輕嘆一聲。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdzwMXwmDX
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQoTaKxtvB
媽媽的身影忽地浮現腦海。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbXwBAnPij
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2H1jlp6v9
她是個不起眼的女人，普通得他早已忘記那張臉。只記得她怕熱，喜在夏日穿寬鬆短褲散熱，露出一雙細長白腿。他常趁著媽媽在露台忙於晾衫時，從後環抱她的大腿，把滾燙前額緊貼被清風吹得微微發涼的幼滑皮膚上。嘻，消暑妙法。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLwaGXO8LY
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmyX8uLCqm
以為這做法可以持續至小學畢業，或是直到他世故成熟得無法繼續假裝天真。誰料媽媽突然拋下一句「感情變淡」，離家出走。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OIoPHgIpj
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGbXgXefPT
他反覆思考何謂「感情變淡」。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHotUuABLeU
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2w6ykIMIxo
茫無頭緒，直至那傢伙有意無意向他指出重點：變。「感情」，對媽媽毫不重要，否則她不會狠心如此；「淡」是相對而非絕對，若無經歷過對立的「濃」，「淡」其實不是問題；由濃轉淡的過程稱為「變」，也就是問題癥結所在。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVpjkzAIWK
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUY03Ad11uJ
為何會變？如何變？可否不變？354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqwCZC0Bv5
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sL7ghlTVR
他百思不得其解。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwc77EU5Olc
再聲輕嘆。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClFyoK3CyP
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3r2GlO4Ye
阿杰的身影忽地浮現腦海。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoOYcfPsrb
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZVoxev1Id
舊同學聚會裡，他和阿杰並肩而坐。昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，努力尋找共同話題。阿杰唇邊盡是紅酒遊艇名錶，他只記顧商場即將在週末舉行的購物優惠日——妻子叮囑他務必買下保濕精華和優惠裝尿片。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCnkkNU40v
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XFmWxXoLU
真懷念往時。他與阿杰一起為那些不值一哂的天大課題感到煩惱：學業、夢想、籃球、愛情、人生規劃……後來那傢伙教曉他——一切變幻莫測，根本不由自主。無力與無奈令他深深體會自身的無能。他妒忌，妒忌阿杰仍在那個未醒的夢裡。阿杰察覺到他的妒意，露出一個輕蔑笑容。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesF9eb4a4J
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvPSTP8RyL
昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，不再努力尋找共同話題。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAM6p61qtl
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbt0A5XLjqk
緣起緣滅，不由自主。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyuXWy42WO
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqPVDkXn8c
既要緣滅，何必緣起？354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BGw7vWmpu
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGTFHQ5Bl6
他百思不得其解。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEyCDjHeNs
輕嘆有三。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VcXS58tAt
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMo4hV2G4hW
自己的身影忽地浮現腦海。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFINLl2YzsY
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupKOZ0ZFhu
身影有前無後。難怪，少有留意自己的背。妻子笑說他背部有七痣，像北斗，可導航。他苦笑，笑自己人生無方向。因為自己看不見北斗？只好抬頭望天。天無星，難打卦。無卦，有掛，掛心的掛。掛甚麼？不知道，總覺得人生缺失了甚麼。甚麼甚麼？不知道，難以言明。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHkRRKFYMD
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQU30kvcQT
鬱悶。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0ev4I5PRQ
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt22K6NkdJc
懷念媽媽的腿，想要抱抱。懷念阿杰手中的籃球，想要奪走。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3YEbu3QgR
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ewb1CQstr
去抱！去奪！354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2d2v3GBtvs
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7knwtbKHjX
抱甚麼？腿已不在。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLzOs3UwNX
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV90OrGvqZY
奪甚麼？球已不在。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhBWbDwNK2
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjSruOeqAE
為何不在？為何統統不在？354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ160qNbSkzs
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkk1KjqRyA0
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTENtvQMROt
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBo9228ehWx
停下來！354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0zr0XEI1L
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeP2Omc918
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNc8XiTQibN
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlSNw5bOva
慢下來！354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Xr9ANOL3U
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlr0EV9siS
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNG3VTfvRPg
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3YSPxj9Af
他只得拼命追趕。走馬看不見花，花開花落馬不知。馬累馬停，他累他停。回頭一望，是天不是地。何時開始背朝天？不肯定，許是拼命追趕期間、忘記自身當刻。竭力抬頭，盡力挺身。不果，只得餘生躬背望地，無法望背望星。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfMtVcLxds
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyminDDSu1
孫兒笑問他為何腰背變躬，他答背上擔子過重。孫兒受驚拒絕背負擔子，他說無法選擇，人人不由自主。孫兒再問何解不由自主，他道是變幻莫測之故。孫兒三問為何會變、如何變、可否不變？他答不出話來，淚目凝視孫兒。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsnZaUEuwx
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVF7oRnHOvN
昔日的他，今日的孫。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQLsLIvZwS
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2DQ2fViYj
永劫，輪迴。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbt14zQbNeO
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvwBz2biNh
不敢思，不求解。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKqqQ27Dsi
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡualfvQtHJK
嘆，嘆，嘆。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfAUPB1pou
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2V1yJu05L1
孫兒問他是否有煩惱，願為他出謀解決。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlT8MbapZc
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAKHBfiRnF
他搖頭。354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Z1YyCwJUL
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97a7nAxQkt
深知世人永遠無法解決那傢伙。
註：此篇會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》第八十一章354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhOgc0FBtp
354Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuJUYD1tFw
