我對於落日與晚風的看法是：兩者錯離又同步，講求的是時機與緣份；愛情同樣講求這兩點，但是固中又有沒有人為可努力、可爭取促成的部份呢？落日與晚風，寒與熱的交匯之間能看盡人心的真與假、努力的渺小與高貴，就如下文的朱塔瑪與約納森。一切在人，人是因，人亦是果。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡic7g1yvErW
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PS. 文中所及的百樂宮—Titanic主題曲噴泉表演是真實存在的，紀錄在這裡。
「朱塔瑪，我們需要好好……」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVETY5tziS3
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「I do not consent to be accompanied by a former Lieutenant Colonel。Leave me alone，would you。」（我拒絕由前中校伴行。離我遠點，麻煩你。）
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大腦將這段女音回放了一整天，身旁的引擎風與歡呼聲衝擊著男人從未止痛的心臟。一切都沒變，卻也面目全非：凌厲的、果敢的，全都屬於那個他夢迴千百遍的人。
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgz67t1hjr
「我沒必要故意去搜查一個優秀的退役美軍……但很遺憾，我現在真的無法離開妳的視線範圍；我也是來觀光的——這是憲法修正案允許的。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgy2kcUpHyB
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約納森．麥巴倫扯開道微笑，連話語都隱隱顫抖——不知道是被那些言詞刺痛了，還是百味雜陳的愛戀讓他快要窒息而亡。
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EngxVqllR
賭城、聖誕、百樂宮，全部全部都是深植記憶的承諾，教他怎能心如止水？
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最後6小時，他能否借助聖誕節的神奇力量，挽留她？
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「……Suit yourself then。」（……那就悉隨尊便。）
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絕對的硬碰硬是戰場上最愚蠢的做法，於是朱塔瑪深深調息，然後沿著賭城大道南行。赭紅早已染塗一邊天，照落她一頭棕黑摻藍的髮絲；十二月的美國西部內陸清涼而乾燥，黃沙微鹹隨風拂過她刺青的後頸，倒比當年黃昏持槍在阿富汗當值好過些。現在她走在賭城街頭就只是個普通的美國公民，孑然一身得高貴——
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比起只知等待和信任的從前，好太多了。
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她這樣想著，冷冽著撲面的晚風又柔和了不少，乃至有一句話於她轉身的瞬間湧上心頭、衝出咽喉：418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuecaV9d31
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「我要去百樂宮，別跟來。」
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沒有他項，惟有百樂宮。
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「我當然不會這樣做。」
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkG1h4Y0P2
約納森立即回話，又往眼前一身米白的泰裔女人靠近了些，最後一直維持落後她三、四米。沙漠夕陽下緊綰的棕髮低調沉實，如年輪般無聲訴說她六年消聲匿跡的成長——作為前長官、前戰友，誠然他樂見最短的歲月將她打磨成身心狀態最佳、最有力的武器。
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可關鍵是，她本來不是這樣的，她不應該變成這樣的。
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAz00ZA5VU2
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有幾陣冷風肆虐心房，男人擰起了雙眉，深藍似海的眼眸烙印著那整綰的軍髻與性感的刺青。上次這樣看她已經是七年半前的事了；那最後一個他駐守阿富汗的夜晚，她就坐在男軍宿舍門前的路口發呆。她頸後的阿拉伯文讓他拋棄了軍紀與理智，走上前帶她走進了他的駐地……
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那一天，從黃昏到深夜，他與她互相索求。濃烈的愛意讓軍舍床笫間的哭聲與呻吟銘刻他的心底，從此潰瘍化膿，日夜折磨著從償願的他。
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「賭場在裏面，你自己進去吧。」
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約納森聞聲回神，朱塔瑪站到了白石欄邊，面朝著百樂宮的招牌豪華噴泉。波瀾萬千的水面已然染上夜晚的第一道靛彩，溫暖的景象正飛速消逝。
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又一個沙海裏的諾言。
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「我想這次應該會播Titanic。」
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朱塔瑪皺眉回首，約納森就在身邊，眼看著奢華非凡的百樂宮亮起了金光般的夜燈。千篇一律的水柱已然聞歌起舞，悠揚的樂聲正勾勒著曾經的美夢。
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VcRE29qMB
剛好今日自己穿了一身米白馬甲與長褲，連高跟鞋都是Jimmy Choo的婚鞋，不說真以為她是誰的新娘。所以問題來了，有哪個新娘會想當Titanic裏的蘿絲小姐？那可是新婚即喪偶守寡。不過今時今日婚姻早已不重要，婚後生活形同守寡的大有人在，倒不需要過於感慨。
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxCbFAUMrv
觀望著名的噴泉表演，水柱間她彷彿看見了耍樂於巴米揚黃昏的自己。那一天下了罕見的太陽雨，在晚霞的雨水與山谷微風下她跑向了他、第一次與他接吻，就在隊友和長官面前高調地相愛——仍然一身戰服、一手鐵血，但她感覺自己已經成為了他相守到老的妻子。她發過誓她會遵守與莉莉小姐的約定，不會讓病魔或者戰火奪走她和他的未來……
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只是，只是。
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「朱塔瑪，我一直都愛著妳的。」「那又如何。」
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JbXEXUYIJ
「我很抱歉七年前欺騙了妳……但是我發誓我和莉莉已經結束了，我愛的女人從來都是……」
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「You lied to me because of her，that's all it takes。」（你為了她而欺騙我，那就夠了。）
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhG2zlUPU0D
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熟悉的長笛間奏柔和得多諷刺，朱塔瑪很想笑，但話題沉重又疼痛得壓碎任何正面情緒。畢竟深愛過，她只能看著日歿下夢幻的百樂宮，任由視線悄悄模糊：418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFad9C4CYUx
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「你知道軍隊和我的底線同樣是誠實，再大再小的事都好，說謊無助解決問題。人一失信就什麼都會變質，更何況七年了，能保證什麼？中校先生，你說過會讓我在這裡成為你的妻子，但是我……」
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNrT717kcT
夕陽彌留一剎，歌曲的高潮帶動了激昂衝天的水舞，陣陣清寒撲面刺骨。約納森聽不清那句話，看清了她的唇瓣——那片他眷戀而心疼的嫩唇，為他判了死刑。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ662DSm4REG
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軍紀與原則扼殺了愛戀，而罪魁禍首是他本意善良的謊言。
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「……我不會再來這裡了，朱塔瑪。」「Suit yourself，it's my last day in Vegas anyway。（隨便你，反正這是我在賭城的最後一日。）」
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對啊，最後一日——正確來說，最後6小時了。
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女人前靠著冰涼的石欄，一手往眼下輕輕拭抹。這個聖誕夜她就要飛回泰國，眼前的百樂宮噴泉是她和他的最後一站了。
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlxQCqIgS9
閉口否認，真是不愛了嗎？也許只是藉口，也許只是物極必反。然而無論如何，Titanic已屆尾聲，她只能緩緩起身離開——418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDTj7qBYbM
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELwfzVwZTe
高溫籠罩後背與頸後，瞬間夢迴阿富汗的刺青夜，情感與時光同步倒流。
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「Fuck that army motto……marry me this time，I beg……」（去他的軍紀……今天嫁給我，我求求妳……）
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如同那個在喀布爾機場的黃昏，男人緊緊抱住將要遠去的愛人；惟有當下他肆意落淚，任由最後一枚達姆彈粉碎心臟與未來。Chanel No.5的強風多令人依戀，只可惜……等等？
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418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCR2xRY6ocd
他愣神被縛，相擁的胸前竟有一陣熱雨灑落，乃至只能聽見她說的四個字。
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「We ain't members anymore……」（我們不再是軍人了……）
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——如果這次妳能從馬扎里沙里夫回來，我們就退役回賭城，今年聖誕去百樂宮結婚。
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——你說的，我死了都給我辦冥婚哦……
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——那就活下去，為了我。
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百樂宮重新亮起夜燈，將哭泣的雙影攏於大道露台。一如當年在帝國的墓地之巔，落日之後、飛翔之前，真心相擁於晚風中。
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Fin。
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