這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似，突然有個陌生女子在家中出現，然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情，連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允，這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往，剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思，我是第十一個。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WZ3HdAOA6
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslXQUPqLG5
作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號，但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人，與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年，徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5Bvj8Jvi0
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRbiRNdCXk
女生與你老媽不同，她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色，早上搶洗手間，晚上搶電視，半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡，還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVUG3PdRma
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEQCCzBXto
可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論，起初我也是這樣以為，但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假，家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛，但這個印象僅維持了幾天，往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣，我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8s7C2uqdU
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVC1JntXpTe
因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法，女生的形象率先崩壞，然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激，抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧，我還是會拒絕，我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiNwECPwzI
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUPglewjR2
「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯，我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqYFAABf5y
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMAiuRXRlB
「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住，你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnCcbufmO7
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwvH2tGByr
我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允，我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuRUUXJmaW
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPr9b1BpPu
「睇下我老母點應你囉。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvySsbiFoV
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRoFy31VJc
我跟她說老媽在上班，要十二點才回來，讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服，然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵，打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間，打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBmC1KFW9H
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc48YmIqKW
想不到她跟著我進房間，我回頭望向她，只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pHjjgyaBo
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOOBipTz6q
「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXjdFAshkh
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDIObH6LZo
她按著肚輕輕點頭。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdpELyYyiA
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA3OcXLjs2
「又話自己係仙子，乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBq5xYGOGo
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsYSIg6Zj0
「唔食咪唔食囉，好叻咩!」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmwps724Ea
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TKZ8sIwxu
想不到她是如此倔強，我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時，發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣，我怕了她，把垃圾扔掉後，便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵，還注滿熱水送到她面前。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9Ud3WU0zS
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqgzUoJCPx
「嗱，食啦，廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6WPvFLg51
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyi2NXR6pZP
「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直，雙手已經捧著杯麵。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknzW4IYOSk
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslkAOaC1xt
看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7zTigalu2
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCnijiItiP
她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimaQAlefg2
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGgo6WNFlo
「辣架?」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZE7yAUXYR
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXXQHGGf2p
我家的杯麵一向由我包辦，而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味，要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6h04zNxwC7
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaORIjJnDDv
「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5owzYoh9zy
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZ0CfOXjBg
她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入，看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如，居然有人會吃到出汗。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Zdi5MPDU1
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUuNLAm1t7
我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫，便倒了杯水給她，她接過水杯說:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0RtHZiTLT
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAze6ziQrOM
「唔該。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyWhos6mPJ
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNY6c86ml7
「唔駛，我唔該你就真，俾我發現原來有人咁渣，連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBG3Vtcv7CZ
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlSqcMhx09
「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4mkfe1NVJ
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1Tq77bKmQ
我被她的神情嚇一跳，收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmo0LG7HKE
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgg3G6norR
「你咁嘅態度對女仔，睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw6ufn68W2
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7YUHIg3X5
她這一句完全是我的致命傷，我不知如何反駁。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5wqU2Vvqi
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ37ccxmrRO
「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxo7Kv7WsO3
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3jt7zh3DG
被她說穿事實，我無法裝腔作勢…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0CAniUyTE
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWrCm2ZOwr
「係啦係啦，你啱晒啦得未，我無拍過拖就係原罪，你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHmSvmWbRE
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUol1xUEiqq
我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點，說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoR3jyATcmG
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdl1QRmrsfr
尷尬的氣氛維持良久，直到聽到開門聲，老媽終於回來…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10nNix6vqH
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcXhT06SWu
老媽回來便看到那位女生，問我:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLbhsTstPu
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Wa0OOiGQg
「阿仔，呢位邊個嚟?」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW38Y5bQrfx
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK90VBf2IW3
「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqzG1amKT3
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLmDYIKvSt
是她阻止了我，然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談，我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來，我老媽對著我說:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrRvDWGOHU
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgqT3zImfK
「仔，之後曦…啊唔係，呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyASiD7kCnO
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47QcNPj7Sw
WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJ7uF3sia9
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZnDwRr4Ac
「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLcSUzMzkn
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZZNMIjhC4
「你咪理咁多啦，同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsj4aVmYQKW
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzzCBdOSi8
現在同居還不夠，還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受，顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽，我便抓了那女生到一旁…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2zro8oEbS
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFrO7WBX9U
「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyEelR5617
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66zlNAISdq
「我都話左我係茶碗仙子，呢啲野難唔到我，係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbYdbTOZjC
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmop2NzfIg
「仲有我唔係叫喂，叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVkU5n4I84
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0KHHpgyU3
「茶你老…」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDSlnJmhc6
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXj6bROKVZl
「阿仔，今晚你瞓廳啦，俾人地女仔瞓房啊，聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnE5QRlFE4
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Az6XGcdde
我不解為何要讓出我的床，怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlUrPa6k22
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhQTTxjE3D
「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYVu2kOHlc
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYs8E0DSJHm
「你都痴線，我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHPh0Brc0h
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaCheh9LzT
我絕不退讓，可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwtpefkmz1
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJvMqEiVHn
「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRIawIYzBi
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjerTNaavZb
我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說，換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉，可是我在這方面是個廢物，面對這種事情就當機不懂反應，她看我呆掉便說:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JvappL8pM
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEQ97LQ0J6
「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你，同我死出廳瞓!」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7R5yJpqcI
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Y7lXkB2vV
砰!房門大力關上，就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門，只好認命的睡在沙發。唉，我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場，果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaTNOpM2eP
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