「我憎恨你！永遠憎恨你！」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySYu6jiAtH
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnp20efcpq3
衣衫單薄的阿妹無視冷雨紛飛，跑出遮雨簷篷，衝過警方封鎖線，直撲上前搥打我胸膛，拳拳復拳拳，拳拳到肉，拳拳入心。我沒有還手——不打算反抗，而且雙手被手拷反扣在後——默默垂眼看著她雙手沾染我衫上血跡。這時何等奇妙的感覺：父母的血在我和她體內，亦在她手上、我衫上。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzBvAKRGm7
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjViH80732
附近幾位警員沒有立即阻止阿妹，待她發洩將近十秒、有記者正要舉機拍攝時才拉開她。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceKhTp07ia
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfDh1JNph8
登上警車，我輕問身旁警員：「你們是故意的吧？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LYD4qtaJr
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AQsklvrAa
警員目不斜視，對著空氣道：「你殺死父母，是故意的吧？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cWVhk7m7F
操場上，烈日刺眼，人影紛亂，或逃跑或追趕。兩幫囚犯因私怨扭打起來，其餘局外囚犯連忙依獄警指示離開現場。我混在逃走行列當中，驀地發現走在前方的人正是與我關係不錯的獄友——阿青。靈機一觸，想到一個減刑方法。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojhsXyYn2j
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdFH9eN3Zq
「他有參與打鬥！」臨近操場出入口，我突然指著阿青呼叫。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgnwMRXlof
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCccLC61BhK
阿青尚未意會我所指何事，已然被獄警壓制在地。他面帶怯色，嘗試辯解：「冤枉啊！我沒有……」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtq8YscOwFv
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyB5xKVDae
「我真的看見阿青參與打鬥！」雖知阿青無辜，但為了建功減刑，我唯有狠下心腸補上一刀：「我平日與阿青關係不錯，沒有冤枉他的理由。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLMv2qsXoe
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprfw2d87CA
阿青抬頭望我，似乎明白這是甚麼一回事，瞬間臉容扭曲，極力試圖掙脫獄警。更多獄警上前制伏激動不已的阿青，甚至對他施用棍擊。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdWKrCq0Vo
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIrEwyLAsD
亂棍之下，頭破血流的阿青咬牙切齒，勉力抬頭怒目瞪著我：「你這忘恩負義的傢伙！枉我在獄中處處維護你，代你吃下不少苦頭！走著瞧！我定會算帳！我不會放過你！我永遠憎恨你！」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02drExYj4R
狹小房間內，淫穢之聲迴繞不散。在我胯下的年輕小女生或嬌喘或呻吟，胸前兩團白肉隨著抽插節奏晃晃盪盪。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9k9rEK1aL
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqnGH9rUFG
咔——412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AQiFYF4h5
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZYWAy6xB3
小女生被房外聲響嚇驚，表情僵住：「客廳有人。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0seIIlII9
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3BoW5WqYU
「是我妻子。」我處變不驚，繼續重覆腰肢動作。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmp2tZEJJps
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPKkp5C578
「你不怕……」小女生奇怪我的冷靜。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwF6gQw5yY
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVNzAPB64F
「孕婦，跑不遠、跑不快，怕甚麼？」我伸手微微施力掐住小女生細長白頸，暗示不滿她話太多。也許不安導致情緒緊張，沒多久我倆雙雙高潮完事。小女生沒有洗澡，匆匆收錢離開。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZhuVr1Gk1
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWznCGAKEQ
我叼菸走向梳化，在芝芝身旁坐下，安慰道：「放心。金錢交易。不是長期關係。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeRpE53Yo4
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ25DO8YaYU
挺著巨肚的芝芝低頭不語，臉色玄青。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwt5zY09o4
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGamkCiEbK
「沒法子。生理需要。總不能憋住十個月。」我口說得輕鬆，心裡細細數算芝芝跟我多少個年頭。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESSUcdLJ35
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBA1j9CHxI
至少三十年。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9U1v1SRqB
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5ig6IBZ5v
我們相識於中學三年級，彼此都是十五歲。我當時是小混混，她是不良少女，一拍即合。後來我殺人判囚，幸得減刑出獄。沒能回家。苦惱之際，誰料芝芝主動聯絡，供吃供住，只求與我再續前緣。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj8GPIbz8Z
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaBtyMkerO
「我曾為你的付出感動過。奈何純粹的感動無法改變我本性——我天生就是壞人。」我向芝芝坦白感受，不是出於內疚或推卸責任，而是我沒有隱瞞的原因。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDcsxSgVSe
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvsIQWyqi5
「你曾愛我嗎？」芝芝眼眶通紅，忍淚問了一個傻問題。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuWl1qcl6N
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cZBi9MeI1
「我不知道那是否愛。」我對芝芝沒有愛，但在她身上我感受到何謂愛。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTj5a921k10
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsm6bzTo9J
「你走吧。我和孩子不需要你。」芝芝終於按捺不住，流下兩行清淚，語帶哭腔：「這刻開始，我會開始憎恨你，永遠憎恨你。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDam58N1eRc
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjWcdMuroz
「你早該對我死心。」我聳肩表示沒所謂，直接走出大門，離開單位。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugs3KAL4rz
七十歲的我獨居劏房，不良於行，少有外出，平日依靠社工幫忙購置日用品。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3Om0FQRyg
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Kmfer2n76
社工是個初出茅廬的年輕人，不知人世險惡，對我毫無戒心。我撒謊說自己被兒女拋棄，她就拿著我提供的假資料尋人。尋人不果就來關心我更多，買來更多物資。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYL91ky5Yt
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1sjQW20w2
相識之初，我經常在心裡嘲笑她笨蛋。不過隨著相處時間增多，我多次目睹她為我無私付出，不禁開始動容，深切自省。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5L1FZmqtyN
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UTyxrAU3G
夜深人靜，流浪狗吠聲忽遠忽近，對面大廈招牌的刺眼強光穿透薄窗簾，在牆上映出花花綠綠迷幻色塊。無眠，憶起很多人，很多我虧欠過的人。爸媽……阿妹……阿青……芝芝……孩子……其實我一直以來知道自己有多壞、多可惡。為何明知故犯？因為我不相信永遠。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3zL57BZoj
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8zbGYoijM
沒有永遠的惡，沒有永遠的愛。只有眼前利益和當刻快感。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsttk0Z9SqP
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBEfVaW8jg
我自私？誰不自私？爸媽養兒防老，阿妹需要爸媽供書教學，阿青幫我是貪慕虛榮，芝芝救我是為彌補遺憾。誰沒計算？人人都在計算！412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8GJJwyLS9
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PrFwDZmaL
感動退散，惡意再生。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oxJTZSXNN
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNrFq5x9DL
缺失很多，要求更多。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3e5B5RdxV
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtvMoTyJpZ
缺失愛，索求愛。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWFRVI1pTT
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9E1wJXY6Sh
變本加厲。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb7YzmlltD
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXPLKxJiXf
理所當然。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdG82kzNm5
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCnLizFcjS
社工說疫情險峻，求助人數激增，難以經常前來探望我。我埋怨她不關心我。她解釋說機構人手資源有限，無法重點照顧我一人。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2i3fj92ozr
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcs6wA5H4j
她離開。我撒野：「你偽善！快走！別來！我憎恨你！永遠！」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWboq8qHSZ
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamb3jOPUCf
沒有永遠的愛。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UJgUO8WWr
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDAQFfgGnu
缺失愛，索求愛。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6gIrH6Px4
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyhgrrz1kw
鳳姐索價三百元。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrA6Sxwstor
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYlIaDpGI7
她有眼前利益，我有當刻快感。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8xCNoUHiy
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQjLcKR4sQ
完事。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEPh5kbgDM
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jl2qnjBOQ
一切歸空。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ADllHQgVG
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pgyeGEDOK
理所當然。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQcTKcV25k
題解：
四：四次
嚎：嚎叫、嚎哭。這裡借代情緒激動時的話語。
永：永遠
憎：憎恨
你：你
註：此篇將會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》。
ns216.73.216.82da2
