從雄英畢業後，上鳴和響香搬進了一間二層的小公寓。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXX46tXhn9a
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電電想象中醬樣釀樣美好的同居生活從第一天就開始破裂……450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCz022i99h
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花了一上午的時間將東西搬進屋後，上鳴單手叉腰站在客廳里，仰天長笑三聲，胸中蕩起和響香（嗶——）的豪情壯志。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPYFRMFqYm
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正想著，他才發現意淫對象不知道去哪了，上鳴凝神靜氣，辨認出聲音傳出來的方向後抬腳就往二樓的主臥跑去。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMj2tzEu5r
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上鳴歡快地推開門，眼前白花花一片，恍惚閃過耳郎抱著胸一臉嬌羞的模樣。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpANYPxyj5
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“響香醬～我們去……嗷！！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmd0ZvU6zB
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRakfJ4dWIY
話沒說完，眼楮傳來劇痛，這熟悉的感覺，不用看就知道是耳郎的耳機插頭。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd13MPBbK1k
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電電被戳瞎日常（1/1）450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9ct2DJEWB
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兩人在客廳收拾東西，上鳴欲言又止地看了耳郎數眼，猶猶豫豫地開口︰“耳郎……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBX2Y8XAZB
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耳郎面無表情打斷他的話︰“閉嘴。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgvWbMa24J
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzzWDe0Qwf
上鳴急了︰“我不是故意的。”誰知道你在里面換衣服！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDfdPQxy0B
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrXY8syh0L
他改為低聲嘟囔︰“再說了，我什麼都沒看見還被戳瞎，好虧啊……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8FycIIQ5e
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZG5ouNbMy
耳郎臉一黑︰“……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72hENZdgRk
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耳機插頭默默伸長。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktAuyqvj8O
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7x5hvO0Z4
“哇啊啊啊啊！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP76UWH1Cqb
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電電，卒。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSHvxR2Lpn
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終于將大包小箱的東西倒騰完，耳郎起身伸了個懶腰，晃晃悠悠回到主臥。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZoSVpg9Fq
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“？？？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlIdDWQSGx
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耳郎才踏進門一步就退了出來，揉揉眼，淡定的表情龜裂了。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbB42eF88b
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“上鳴！！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnP3Oh6vl0V
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上鳴屁顛屁顛跑過來︰“來了來了。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIovfAFrkY
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaHRVSzPUc
耳郎指著房間里頭︰“為什麼我房間里會有你的東西？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGx7fo1Kbx
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡae9oZi0tpP
上鳴理直氣壯︰“我們的房間當然有我的東西。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ly9Z7r4HA
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“我們？！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0I8xpRCAuU
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小姐姐震驚了。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJ7fe6L3ZR
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBxPYHIt1l
“響香醬不想和我一個房間嗎？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Zq7OwVZ7b
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckVoTxhpXW
上鳴一臉天崩地裂，背靠著牆緩緩下滑，四周仿佛響起了悲涼的BGM，淒淒慘慘戚戚。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6m2WIx8y6
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRlgYUevPb
耳郎冷酷地吐槽︰“……你旁邊有一盆仙人掌。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZjfuMPWoW
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFr3fcUkkF5
“……”上鳴虎軀一震，默默站直。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3i1NTb95qr
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不在一個房間就不在，他上鳴男子漢大丈夫，不能光明正大，他他他他還不會半夜爬床嘛，哼！^450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUdYKwnuJx
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來日方長。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFwUKaCZTw
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他們還有很長很長的時間。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHOIf7xlk4
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整理完東西就該打掃衛生啦 。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1mLDGe95W
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWqbHaXfo4
浴室里，耳郎看著上鳴認認真真地往架子上擺小黃鴨，不由地扯扯嘴角︰“上鳴你今年幾歲了？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7NYx67gUE
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWIdCVS3qf
“18歲，正是如狼似虎如饑似渴的年紀，”上鳴幽怨地轉頭看她，“女朋友卻不讓我和她一起睡。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjRTA6JP63
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耳郎︰“……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqbhSwJTp5
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摔！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGeKRZtA3r
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能不能讓人好好吐槽了！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmE6vZg4y6f
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorzONtHwUW
上鳴你這個泡澡放小黃鴨的幼稚鬼！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnMKctJapj
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一大早的，耳郎就起床了，今天是她和上鳴去事務所報道的第一天，可不能遲到。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYrKLuhmfo
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洗漱完，耳郎敲敲對面房間的門。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxJUwkIMkv
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“……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ueIGdwjg3
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沒反應……廢話，要有反應上鳴昨天晚上也不會千叮萬囑拜托她一定一定要叫他起床了。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdThfTOtMnQ
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2h5TJoyWzF
上鳴房間是不鎖門的，耳郎一進門就看到某人四仰八叉躺在地上呼呼大睡，被子在一邊可憐兮兮地絞成一條。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoxbx55QEF
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“……”迷之微笑。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPig9U0zVK
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“ 擦。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TVEzdWVNs
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該干正事了，耳郎收好手機，心情很好地拍拍上鳴的臉︰“喂，起床了。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjmjUh3wyU
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上鳴一動不動恍若昏迷。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6Ir2jFvZJ
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耳郎毫不猶豫抬手就給賞他一個爆栗，上鳴“嗷”了一聲，委屈巴巴地皺著臉滾到另一邊接著睡。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEIOkIGoie
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也是非常頑強了……450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCAiCKGPAd
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“嘖。”耐心耗盡，耳郎翻了個白眼，起身往外走，耳機插頭同時向後延伸。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSY3XIMw0v
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sSgUMxrgi
“哇啊啊啊！！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQz15wkY5Jv
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73FOOV9W5b
電電垂死夢中驚坐起，白痴臉懵逼。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCg3tSswmE
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkZFWQ3C8O
我是誰？我在哪？我要干什麼來著？450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHH5XCLXaT
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隨著兩人職業生涯的開始，粉絲數量也隨著時間水漲船高。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7WlNlSBYX
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知道耳郎最近又成功端掉一個敵窩，上鳴心情愉悅地刷著網上對小姐姐一面倒的贊揚，滿心滿眼都是驕傲。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkSO5m8H3C
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哈哈哈哈我媳婦就是這麼厲害哈哈哈哈羨慕吧嫉妒吧哈哈哈你們沒有哈哈！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yZVPpqOmg
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然後冷不丁看到這麼一條。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVz7ctHmKo
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“嚶嚶嚶小姐姐好帥，想嫁！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCxZH67AYS
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是妹子，上鳴手頓了頓，接著刷。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGns5uOfh51
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————“帥哭我了，小姐姐網戀嗎？百合嗎？選我嗎？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7NVzNUOqa
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不網戀！不百合！不選你！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3WqeSVYtp
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————“都讓讓都讓讓，單方面宣布順風耳英雄是我老公了。[狗頭]”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu4PxpUAQb
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滾蛋！那是我老婆！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIup5KnxjpM
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————“電擊英雄我和你打一架你把小姐姐讓給我吧。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8X5cetuewH
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想！都！別！想！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAY786IInj7
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…………450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iDFcBbok6
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上鳴自虐似的刷了一下午，黑沉著臉氣到內傷。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncWJ0POuQZ
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這年頭，連女孩子都要和他搶媳婦了嗎？450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nl4hDTpJn
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嗯？450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBu8vw8q2lH
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07450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIQlZtLJRE
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平凡安逸的下午，耳郎枕著上鳴的腿躺在沙發玩手機，半晌，抬手扯過上鳴的臉，手機也放到他眼前。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmY5N6S1rxI
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“這個‘小姐姐的皮卡丘’是不是你？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrayk4KLOD
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上鳴果斷否認︰“不是！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49wHwEJDiV
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耳郎繼續扯他的臉，似笑非笑︰“能耐了呢，披馬甲和我的粉絲撕逼，幾十個人懟不過你一個，嗯？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oMTeogD9s
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上鳴垂死掙扎︰“不是電電，電電沒有……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwL6Obehrf
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaDTv5KmaU
“電電，”響香的語氣異常溫柔，“搓衣板榴蓮鍵盤你選一個吧。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlwq6ICThF
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我一個都不想選！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjvUnk8OaU
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嚶嚶嚶，電電心里苦……450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgKxk7luvx
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這是個夜黑風高的晚上，小公寓里。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugmHTXyqzb
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZpmvKJoUK
耳郎冷著臉︰“過來。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8tu2vxT11
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“不，我不要！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRgYpFh2Ox
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“快點。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdklcSCHgR
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上鳴簡直要哭︰“不要，我不行了……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWl6Rw9uWI
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“少廢話。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5cFMb3bCD
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“都第幾次了，你要榨干我嗎……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNEYUoB25x
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EhPcvAgoK
看著一臉生無可戀的上鳴，耳郎嘆了口氣︰“不想吃飯了？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpqhlg8RWI
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“想……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhzXVteKUj
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上鳴抽抽鼻子，抓著各種電器插頭，哭唧唧發電。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl26fL56wRT
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最討厭停電了！！！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0B4hYgkjAe
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明天就去投訴物業！！！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtP0WhrB2V1
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作者有話要說︰ 電電臉上哭唧唧，心里笑嘻嘻。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIv3a6LndS
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☆、寵450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oOAvJY3XG
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晨光熹微，屋里頭，上鳴動了動手指，緩緩睜開眼。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopRzq64vcc
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七點。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxMZ350oKI
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上鳴放下鬧鐘，“哈”的一聲坐起，經過小姐姐幾個月的魔鬼叫人起床法，他終于能在七點自然醒了，等會就去和小姐姐求親親摸摸抱抱。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorJgIjupBP
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接下來，就是每天起床第一句，先給自己打個氣︰450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJUQxyNBtL
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“我今天一定能爬床成功！不懈進取，永無止境！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSCr8R6pEq
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上鳴比了個“耶”，今天也是元氣滿滿的好少年。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugQB0uuiPG
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“是嗎？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXIUd1QmZY
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一道涼涼的聲音傳入耳朵。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZANrvlbMm
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上鳴虎軀一震，僵硬著脖子轉過頭︰“小姐姐早上好啊……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yH5nAr91u
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4ko739LoN
房門不知道什麼時候開的，耳郎背倚著門，雙手環抱，裙子及膝，明明是一身柔軟休閑的家居服卻偏偏穿出了酷帥的氣場。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfIg40SAzS
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上鳴痴漢臉︰“……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZYOOZng9x
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媽噠我媳婦真好看！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrgqrRShLX
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVjwAR1gbe
當即蹦下床，張開雙臂朝耳郎撲去，結果落地時腳一滑，呆滯著白痴臉從耳郎身邊迅速滑過，“砰”地撞上對面的牆。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOcRQ2vM8s
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鎭？450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHJ8IbcZ4A
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耳郎扶額︰“……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLesTQUdqW
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真是沒眼看了。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFKybsfz2l
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這麼蠢會不會影響後代的智商啊？450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNDHbe4d9i
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吃完早餐，耳郎收好碗筷，才放好，上鳴就把她從廚房趕了出去，生怕她和他搶活干似的。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxqa2vqFBW
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耳郎撇撇嘴，去沙發躺著。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRhqvjeoSv
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiH7hGFqG7s
上鳴洗完碗就開始不怎麼熟練地使用吸塵器打掃屋子。不過相比于之前的手忙腳亂的樣子，現在已經好很多了。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIYYZ49Bur
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電視開得大聲，耳郎卻看著忙忙碌碌的上鳴。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihZJYVHxAy
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自打同居第二天開始，她干過的家務簡直屈指可數，還是趁上鳴外出出任務才有機會做。其余日子都是上鳴明明都不會卻要死要活不讓她踫，自個累死累活從生疏到熟練地做完家務。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujTQ9B8bsF
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWaVa8nLzt
完全顛覆上鳴媽媽口中那個“就知道吃喝玩樂房間亂得像狗窩從來不干活的三級殘廢兒子”形象。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rkKdjs8h5
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CzERFVrVz
“吶，上鳴，”耳郎喊他，“我來吧，你都沒我弄得干淨。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYidfZf98pz
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上鳴完全無視她，自顧自打掃。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JsmuyCosG
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“喂！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u6N1tAj05
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上鳴頭都沒抬︰“邊去，不想看電視就听歌。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99I5Z86HAt
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下午的時候，門鈴大作，一打開門，A班的小伙伴們嘩啦啦一下沖進來。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEChWKEsJQ
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“我們是路過的，听說你們在這就過來了。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oTzfms77b
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“你們竟然真的同居了，進度真快啊。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Wu4QzjFua
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“不用忙活了我們自己帶了東西。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJS6R1vxG3V
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這群家伙在客廳盤腿坐下，熟練地擺好各種吃食，速度之快讓兩人目瞪口呆。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupIWVaujRK
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVJSpKjTQS
回過神來這群人已經啃了一堆骨頭並熱情洋溢地招呼他們過去一起聊天一起玩。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsJjPqfFlt
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上耳︰“……”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYkQjzQwDS
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這幫家伙真不客氣。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuNgMkkR12
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hREpobWWD
鬧了一下午，吃飽喝足的家伙一個個大爺似的在沙發上躺尸聊天，地上全是各種垃圾。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7o8gE2bZPJ
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMZghPj0eV
見狀，耳郎起身，晃晃悠悠拿著掃把準備掃地。上鳴一看就急了，一個鯉魚打挺起身沖上前就奪過掃把，粗聲粗氣道︰“我來。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTaHqzN87b
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拗不過他，耳郎只好蹲下身幫忙收大件的垃圾。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGkWtqiDGz
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimwrjO4zEg
誰料上鳴更加不樂意︰“都說了我來，油膩膩的你不要動……誒誒鎭！放下那個玻璃片，會劃手的知不知道！”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaENrqlr88
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耳郎無可奈何去廚房洗手，感覺上鳴這是想養廢她emmm……450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAN5g791st9
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目睹全程的小伙伴們已經收回了掉在地上的下巴。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvztbAHicA
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eY7V3PesA
葡萄道︰“上鳴，該不會平時都是你做家務吧？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aFJTZRiq6
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“怎樣？”上鳴把垃圾掃成一堆。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneR68xpu9p
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“……”好像也不怎樣哦。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlv1AAFYSsp
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“但是做家務的一般是女生吧，”尾白看看廚房，“耳郎又沒有強迫你。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvKUSeSTlM
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葉隱“哼”了聲︰“你們不就是覺得男生做家務很沒有男子氣概，覺得這是女生應該做的事。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR85YVMeF4i
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”就是就是，憑什麼女孩子就一定得做家務，男生做家務怎麼了？”蘆戶接著道。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfxYIaHa8S
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眼看一場辯論賽就要開場，上鳴邊鏟垃圾邊淡淡道︰“我樂意。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjiJlfCQFr
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眾︰“……？”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsngH9PCPTL
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上鳴風輕雲淡道︰“我說，我做家務是因為我心疼她。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgNYHHVzR7
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“我家小姐姐的手可不是用來做家務的。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxRTpJ3Ejt
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMR4JzXkWO
“我樂意寵她。”450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQ7z1wimpR
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你們管得著嗎？450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcstuiwlZW
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哼。
眾人：＂༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ＂
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