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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.539Please respect copyright.PENANA0llDNYs2Ao
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.539Please respect copyright.PENANAzdfrjZqo7t
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAjdOtthx1MW
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANATDpTTbkh5f
— Ok I hear you.539Please respect copyright.PENANABdT3eLhlAk
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.539Please respect copyright.PENANAgqxIcdRkf1
— A tattoo ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAVnS73E4zFu
She nods energetically.539Please respect copyright.PENANAhRQ4eTzcp1
— While you are still a minor ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAs59iOCF7s8
— Soon to be an adult.539Please respect copyright.PENANAOxDMfLHAzE
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.539Please respect copyright.PENANAZvAEETbRBu
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.539Please respect copyright.PENANAPQhankBQSU
— No way ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANA5jJy8f5l6r
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.539Please respect copyright.PENANAjg3x4M7ar6
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.539Please respect copyright.PENANAJNb6CJ3HC2
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.539Please respect copyright.PENANAHIDN8BdYjr
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAsSDGLWWRGG
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.539Please respect copyright.PENANAnmCMq73Dhy
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.539Please respect copyright.PENANAt59ynYm28b
— She’s not a cool mother ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAkMJWT3OnTX
I decide to join them in the kitchen.539Please respect copyright.PENANAy2i2yLUBAR
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...539Please respect copyright.PENANA2u2iGbZ4ps
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.539Please respect copyright.PENANAnCHu9CDGas
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.539Please respect copyright.PENANA426KazNptL
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.539Please respect copyright.PENANA5SK0rNJAV2
My son looks at us, imperturbable.539Please respect copyright.PENANAM6eNnnf6ES
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.539Please respect copyright.PENANAoZqWv89JDR
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 539Please respect copyright.PENANAY0zej4m7vw
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.539Please respect copyright.PENANAXMmaYOFNE2
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.539Please respect copyright.PENANAMBwBZt45aa
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.539Please respect copyright.PENANAeTSbNnNsET
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 539Please respect copyright.PENANArRa9eqmLv8
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.539Please respect copyright.PENANAeKRNOLftte
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.539Please respect copyright.PENANABH7B5rEH3W
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.539Please respect copyright.PENANAlSI0vQT5bO
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...539Please respect copyright.PENANAoUI3mr1msN
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.539Please respect copyright.PENANAFY714ucDTp
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.539Please respect copyright.PENANApdlkkgaX6c
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.539Please respect copyright.PENANA8uSkQCH9qn
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.539Please respect copyright.PENANAl7Fr1aM5IZ
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.539Please respect copyright.PENANAcnRwHmtFBx
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…539Please respect copyright.PENANAYelPaYXfGJ
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.539Please respect copyright.PENANAt1VJ5VNFpA
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.539Please respect copyright.PENANAI1I8m0Rgtm
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.539Please respect copyright.PENANAERuHVarIB0
My father coughs and chokes.539Please respect copyright.PENANAyrV6TJslhc
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.539Please respect copyright.PENANAyJsjMpHret
I nod yes.539Please respect copyright.PENANAJPaA15E3rQ
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.539Please respect copyright.PENANAYPf53AaxxL
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.539Please respect copyright.PENANAeM4k6eVkKG
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.539Please respect copyright.PENANAZ1sTDhLCx5
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.539Please respect copyright.PENANAd6qMGfZc8a
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.539Please respect copyright.PENANAne4bAnbdf0
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.539Please respect copyright.PENANAGxsMok3z0D
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.539Please respect copyright.PENANA1TakFQzOXs
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.539Please respect copyright.PENANAJQVsYEbcfd
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.539Please respect copyright.PENANA7LKKSjG1lD
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.539Please respect copyright.PENANA4OcOyRdOcK
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.539Please respect copyright.PENANADvio31nSNG
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.539Please respect copyright.PENANAgMBQNm3oFr
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.539Please respect copyright.PENANAquo69yoG1a
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.539Please respect copyright.PENANAJMS45KWh6o
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANARtmKQjshhJ
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.539Please respect copyright.PENANA4GrIzYlRUe
— Yes Megan.539Please respect copyright.PENANA97YZ1h93Rv
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.539Please respect copyright.PENANAhKTDApel0A
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANATD2BkmEBu1
Many raise their hands including the new one.539Please respect copyright.PENANAoow0MBmyQY
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.539Please respect copyright.PENANAhKAj1opQhX
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.539Please respect copyright.PENANAb08gq2YzTl
— Perfect, Jessy ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAxE2qRdCaVu
Jessy… 539Please respect copyright.PENANApIQh14bldZ
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.539Please respect copyright.PENANALHW4DIYtGB
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.539Please respect copyright.PENANAepi0vQCIV6
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.539Please respect copyright.PENANAnxDTbhJTvD
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.539Please respect copyright.PENANATSzsojVnN3
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAzwtrG8S63U
My cheeks immediately turn red.539Please respect copyright.PENANAes9VMs45cL
— There is nothing to say.539Please respect copyright.PENANAV0dlRIouIL
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.539Please respect copyright.PENANA60w3rfDrmi
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAe6PU2atTWN
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.539Please respect copyright.PENANAHC9iLvC1T3
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANApus4gBqG4j
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAsbgnGOHVGS
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.539Please respect copyright.PENANAkf5PLbL96U
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.539Please respect copyright.PENANAbqqaKmlOCH
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.539Please respect copyright.PENANALs9j4qKrZL
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAWD0MrKChux
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.539Please respect copyright.PENANAhkfjMYLUmL
— I learned a few things about him...539Please respect copyright.PENANAxfSBDzYXIR
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.539Please respect copyright.PENANAMSmcQsWWb0
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.539Please respect copyright.PENANAp8DcaB8P0I
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.539Please respect copyright.PENANABGemQGI5IJ
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.539Please respect copyright.PENANAHTIaSRM9wv
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...539Please respect copyright.PENANA37PM0BH7bt
When I don't answer, he continues : 539Please respect copyright.PENANAwg2I51QSKC
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANA0DYDpQk8Dm
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.539Please respect copyright.PENANAdBBZFkbXpU
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.539Please respect copyright.PENANAvITsHBpmXM
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.539Please respect copyright.PENANALXORcT1WSS
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.539Please respect copyright.PENANAqkLMozx9CQ
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.539Please respect copyright.PENANAEChpNvQsyo
Why am I blushing ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANATeG3wrsh0Y
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.539Please respect copyright.PENANAAfvbpk1hWs
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.539Please respect copyright.PENANAWYh2LejP7S
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.539Please respect copyright.PENANAlDvdjBseoY
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.539Please respect copyright.PENANAgC0l9463Iu
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.539Please respect copyright.PENANA3MerYeTwUI
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.539Please respect copyright.PENANAKMBUcsCu2z
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.539Please respect copyright.PENANAkMcnxScvNI
— Where were you ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAIRkEWO2sEb
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAkHuvOrAs0X
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.539Please respect copyright.PENANAaLtqrbwHC2
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.539Please respect copyright.PENANAujhnxFbP8W
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 539Please respect copyright.PENANAeAU2Qo9rTG
— This guy is weird ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAkH0gcFGu5N
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.539Please respect copyright.PENANAZQTnJCiLZR
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAyDwXKkj3TN
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.539Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZZogGVwNf
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.539Please respect copyright.PENANA3nXjrtAv7Y
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.539Please respect copyright.PENANA8o3FqzRPyK
— I am coming with you.539Please respect copyright.PENANAyV8KN28lmx
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.539Please respect copyright.PENANAdfC7pkw0mY
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.539Please respect copyright.PENANAr17WwJWXYe
My boyfriend raises his voice.539Please respect copyright.PENANAKYeytVS6Jb
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.539Please respect copyright.PENANAkCv1PT3jfI
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAL1TycCkQoi
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.539Please respect copyright.PENANADmbij85XIN
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.539Please respect copyright.PENANAiHguZXWu3z
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.539Please respect copyright.PENANAWTpyJ2CLz5
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.539Please respect copyright.PENANAez80rgpXKX
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAAsIkgu5ktV
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANA6GLTOnqhw9
Having little choice, I accept.539Please respect copyright.PENANAU9f35wjqbd
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.539Please respect copyright.PENANA6Hc7Y2J39H
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.539Please respect copyright.PENANABQzZ3eUyTM
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.539Please respect copyright.PENANA4jWxgjqG9Q
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.539Please respect copyright.PENANAdk4JVNbq1f
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANArEDy42TGfS
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.539Please respect copyright.PENANASso7sMGVGo
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.539Please respect copyright.PENANAWqIK4vPMCS
— What are you talking about ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAw15BjszPe7
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAy5ALH4VqaL
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAoA12wfuyAh
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.539Please respect copyright.PENANAIIeY0cfZQ2
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.539Please respect copyright.PENANABZyT2DYcg6
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.539Please respect copyright.PENANAiUeQWN69BG
— I'm going back.539Please respect copyright.PENANApvNOSRxeAk
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAGZCgnNAGoL
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but539Please respect copyright.PENANAFQFhABAAKB
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.539Please respect copyright.PENANAm4smJkel5B
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAHh2ITcCyvw
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.539Please respect copyright.PENANAHsTlVG0kzw
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANA8WhedMX89V
— I need to walk...539Please respect copyright.PENANAHEer91piZE
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It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.539Please respect copyright.PENANAA48DmB5DzQ
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.539Please respect copyright.PENANACzkTcZ9iRx
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.539Please respect copyright.PENANAH21inhwRvg
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAmoeLBOMMN0
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAs9G5LE5zUz
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.539Please respect copyright.PENANAGXVrpZXKuA
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAiUCtrsxOyH
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANA3zjsgHzqWs
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.539Please respect copyright.PENANAF06mAAzT21
I look at him, surprised.539Please respect copyright.PENANA02KcCcPKcZ
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAn8b0HcLSWg
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.539Please respect copyright.PENANAG7WpL18pEH
— You're good ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANALb1HgC3Uno
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANA331YHLb56l
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.539Please respect copyright.PENANArLYVcTi0CR
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.539Please respect copyright.PENANALz0QB3W7Px
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.539Please respect copyright.PENANAllAHiUekOG
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAHowhS4Z1uI
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.539Please respect copyright.PENANAtRCbzPQw2G
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.539Please respect copyright.PENANAKtuurs8f27
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.539Please respect copyright.PENANAsSjgEId6ed
— Did this happen to you too ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAqYHdwPZpjK
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.539Please respect copyright.PENANAWWMQNIP8Ax
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.539Please respect copyright.PENANAlgufKMcZFl
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.539Please respect copyright.PENANAn2mSaSmB91
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.539Please respect copyright.PENANA4NbSxgVn67
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.539Please respect copyright.PENANAccPGo0lbuo
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAs2otsv4EeU
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 539Please respect copyright.PENANArBQ1RV8SOo
— I see in you.539Please respect copyright.PENANA5IjD5xyMow
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.539Please respect copyright.PENANAIOUBRhvPVz
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.539Please respect copyright.PENANA7yNUA51jCX
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.539Please respect copyright.PENANAhETywOR9WU
539Please respect copyright.PENANA8jBqa347L5
539Please respect copyright.PENANARvjyr8AF3H
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.539Please respect copyright.PENANA3WuDCpIvHW
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.539Please respect copyright.PENANAKbbqrt5FZi
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.539Please respect copyright.PENANAWzwhjhQ0x3
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.539Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0HX7G9vbF
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAl16K36xmUR
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.539Please respect copyright.PENANANlPCuo7TbP
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 539Please respect copyright.PENANA9xdHuvqkrc
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.539Please respect copyright.PENANA2TJ7s6TeHK
Immediately, boos are heard.539Please respect copyright.PENANAsa9ptTWYe3
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.539Please respect copyright.PENANALdhKQbFmcx
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with539Please respect copyright.PENANAASVprKo2er
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.539Please respect copyright.PENANA1KvZR2Jlc1
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.539Please respect copyright.PENANA6RiCx7Njq9
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.539Please respect copyright.PENANAi7m1USXDlk
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.539Please respect copyright.PENANALO17OTdQRc
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 539Please respect copyright.PENANA3T8Qhaweev
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.539Please respect copyright.PENANATOI7Tcnie3
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.539Please respect copyright.PENANAmiW3xs3yTw
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.539Please respect copyright.PENANA4miB2DAOfq
— Jessy, wait ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAxYmUSl35Ut
He slows down, but doesn't stop.539Please respect copyright.PENANAwcIEJyQ5mC
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.539Please respect copyright.PENANAhb1O0jUlnJ
His shoulders relax and he exhales.539Please respect copyright.PENANAmjHYXBznJ2
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.539Please respect copyright.PENANAXMD9YWVdt3
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.539Please respect copyright.PENANAtYPE7ZVV59
— I'm not…539Please respect copyright.PENANA9OZDNTD2Ne
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.539Please respect copyright.PENANA8Md0qEqPWm
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.539Please respect copyright.PENANA24Rfb0S41Y
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.539Please respect copyright.PENANAA3LDhdIN5o
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.539Please respect copyright.PENANAH9ykohtn1m
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.539Please respect copyright.PENANAIyk89mp4mz
Why didn't I think of that ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAA4tOVFs6ay
I refrain from slapping myself.539Please respect copyright.PENANAH485tIvn7l
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 539Please respect copyright.PENANAw5ftXKELfv
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.539Please respect copyright.PENANA3xWylF6dvz
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.539Please respect copyright.PENANAyuMeFanRMS
But what is happening to me ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAzDF2j9ReFX
539Please respect copyright.PENANAs5NkrZNUUr
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.539Please respect copyright.PENANAHcwHIyhmqn
What's going on with Jessy ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAAAHXe7xm3V
Astonished, I wrote : 539Please respect copyright.PENANAcvVcg1jStx
What ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANASRlhNVgiPs
Chad's response was quick : 539Please respect copyright.PENANABwHozGBSYz
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAnF89qYomEf
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANA8lAhwnNqkp
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 539Please respect copyright.PENANAG2c9dp76VE
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.539Please respect copyright.PENANARzP8Gqc7cK
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.539Please respect copyright.PENANAfXMjPxDFog
539Please respect copyright.PENANAeeBhm8qSI1
539Please respect copyright.PENANAlJMAWULMYb
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.539Please respect copyright.PENANA5xcnKqqx62
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAswRPKQV2Xo
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.539Please respect copyright.PENANAOfVpSNOiCQ
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.539Please respect copyright.PENANACBnbLJosdf
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.539Please respect copyright.PENANAPhaiZ7XnCw
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.539Please respect copyright.PENANAYygjPkyBaR
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.539Please respect copyright.PENANA7O46tKQgoZ
I am left speechless.539Please respect copyright.PENANAq0LQVakP40
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.539Please respect copyright.PENANAabWvMeKjCq
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 539Please respect copyright.PENANAT1DrXYjYt4
— Very often. I hurt you ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAeMbPdfHVkZ
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.539Please respect copyright.PENANAaMAO2VhGJJ
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.539Please respect copyright.PENANAN2pGcCszyW
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.539Please respect copyright.PENANAPYZYmrd52P
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.539Please respect copyright.PENANA8Trsb9SJtX
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.539Please respect copyright.PENANAzbJ1uD0leI
— Mom, this is Jessy.539Please respect copyright.PENANAETHCdkW8RJ
They greet each other.539Please respect copyright.PENANAQItAPUe0HV
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.539Please respect copyright.PENANAGZQNJ6xCLI
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 539Please respect copyright.PENANAAePz1RCMJ5
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAEFVohqNceU
He shrugs his shoulders.539Please respect copyright.PENANAcotxeyTpee
— I don't want to bother you…539Please respect copyright.PENANAdbC2mkGFfj
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.539Please respect copyright.PENANAPD2PhdVbVe
— Nicolas is my older brother…539Please respect copyright.PENANAR5rk70R2U8
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.539Please respect copyright.PENANAWx2YeMtNj7
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANA6IJCeZfPRt
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZKkCuSXdl
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 539Please respect copyright.PENANA5DK94qt5uh
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAswIaS8VFb5
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.539Please respect copyright.PENANAj1IaPzWEMt
— For what ? I tell the truth.539Please respect copyright.PENANAzc8g6bqaHA
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.539Please respect copyright.PENANAlWUD9bCad6
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.539Please respect copyright.PENANAO2T1sLZaio
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.539Please respect copyright.PENANAIqZKl4tfiy
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.539Please respect copyright.PENANAnaMFFTTbdn
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.539Please respect copyright.PENANA9DPt31O2zY
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.539Please respect copyright.PENANAWRfgTnjTzN
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.539Please respect copyright.PENANAcsit1aXc1D
I glance at him sideways, smiling.539Please respect copyright.PENANAhfbOR9U8P0
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "539Please respect copyright.PENANAAS8tCJLhYy
— Not really.539Please respect copyright.PENANAdyJaE5m4eY
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.539Please respect copyright.PENANANnNhJJTsMN
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.539Please respect copyright.PENANAd43W7YlScM
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.539Please respect copyright.PENANAE2DnBp8jVD
— You think that…539Please respect copyright.PENANALhMnuoscfW
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.539Please respect copyright.PENANAeV7XDJjyul
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.539Please respect copyright.PENANApc2SxEaKkD
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.539Please respect copyright.PENANAzTfP6zjVPY
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.539Please respect copyright.PENANAOLbAJ9X1li
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.539Please respect copyright.PENANAQW0Ps02WOa
— Megan ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANA5zXjC4xKP9
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.539Please respect copyright.PENANAM4nXe7Fht8
— I am sure of it ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANARSTN3hzLDg
I give him a big smile.539Please respect copyright.PENANABOHOowvQDp
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.539Please respect copyright.PENANAxpngGLKDNd
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.539Please respect copyright.PENANAGEwKHqvYLV
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.539Please respect copyright.PENANAmUR68tbhd6
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.539Please respect copyright.PENANACWc8rRpUYo
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses539Please respect copyright.PENANAPhclXMFmHd
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.539Please respect copyright.PENANAlLuwuewGx0
— Did you move here alone ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAoth4XrsNJR
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.539Please respect copyright.PENANAJyOZWHxTBG
— No, I live with my mother.539Please respect copyright.PENANApQGknDpXJc
— And your father ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANA9s6dsxS6hn
— My father died when I was a kid.539Please respect copyright.PENANAGXODLIhef4
— Sorry.539Please respect copyright.PENANAasAqd5uz6q
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.539Please respect copyright.PENANAS8gdV3xgbx
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAWU5qRyNQXv
Jessy grimace. 539Please respect copyright.PENANAR53TaLhTaP
— No, they stayed in Allentown.539Please respect copyright.PENANAQpJB8Cb9ST
— For what ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANA3VqPolaicB
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 539Please respect copyright.PENANACGfAdaI5ZX
— Joker ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAWF83oS5MV6
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 539Please respect copyright.PENANAHmGhGtFDJc
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAABdrgI0aLB
— Re joker ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANA4GceU4oOSv
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANA3msiVo2IW0
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 539Please respect copyright.PENANArCGE9W9kDI
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...539Please respect copyright.PENANAglYxDLmKj6
Looking serious, he nods.539Please respect copyright.PENANAldxSt1C3Ot
— So you’re from Allentown ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAsWExhoe0XG
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.539Please respect copyright.PENANAZCExPRMG33
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.539Please respect copyright.PENANAUYsv76QxTi
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAJdMGkdLoKh
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.539Please respect copyright.PENANAFW9KVRqL5p
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…539Please respect copyright.PENANAUNoX2Jw1u8
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.539Please respect copyright.PENANA32J4K8bEON
I blush and lower my head.539Please respect copyright.PENANA4gCPqFawOq
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAHOj4su1a3D
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.539Please respect copyright.PENANACGRkvcn1hP
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANApCsStM73Oc
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.539Please respect copyright.PENANAGD0l7wPfP9
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAL9mUzYjZ4N
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.539Please respect copyright.PENANAnP1nqM0dxb
— You still have ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAXiH9utZ9Sp
— Well no, we split up...539Please respect copyright.PENANAo8EXrGqCef
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.539Please respect copyright.PENANAlO43Qkyl8T
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.539Please respect copyright.PENANA1fXT3uO2pj
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.539Please respect copyright.PENANAfMZtKbSHos
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.539Please respect copyright.PENANAzQmlXMeFLc
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.539Please respect copyright.PENANAtYCDmnowLY
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANAUOW4VAr2qi
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.539Please respect copyright.PENANAR9322KVf9P
He glares at me.539Please respect copyright.PENANATzp477K5Xn
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.539Please respect copyright.PENANA97UPYggiVy
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.539Please respect copyright.PENANAEKRcXhTkRj
— So where is the problem ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANARmZyt9hbT9
— I can not do that.539Please respect copyright.PENANA70d0eX8mxR
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...539Please respect copyright.PENANAujfKollH30
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.539Please respect copyright.PENANAM8pLjKmYoD
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 539Please respect copyright.PENANAH59Tgq4XkP
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANA8crUgkwc21
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.539Please respect copyright.PENANAnWa6w7NaKe
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.539Please respect copyright.PENANAOqiFhyJhwz
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.539Please respect copyright.PENANAw0HW433gdU
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.539Please respect copyright.PENANA0OBkUhuq0E
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 539Please respect copyright.PENANA8w3WdotSLn
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.539Please respect copyright.PENANAfFd0ncZeFW
539Please respect copyright.PENANA5GqTVkGvE3
539Please respect copyright.PENANASu15Qm1BAk
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.539Please respect copyright.PENANA7jX40gZFvc
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAxRlfI6hymP
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.539Please respect copyright.PENANA4gMTdAPrNc
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.539Please respect copyright.PENANAmSWUV1WXzo
— Hello ? he says, happily.539Please respect copyright.PENANAKqkDOm7Jzf
— Nick, it’s me.539Please respect copyright.PENANAaMDtXRwR9g
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.539Please respect copyright.PENANATSS84vWJrG
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.539Please respect copyright.PENANAvanUjidz6t
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 539Please respect copyright.PENANAWpzmSyglZG
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 539Please respect copyright.PENANABuazgnJkml
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.539Please respect copyright.PENANAwIlulUfJD8
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.539Please respect copyright.PENANABTdWHwQlXv
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.539Please respect copyright.PENANAwCS9QrFU3F
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 539Please respect copyright.PENANA5T8OGL12Xb
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.539Please respect copyright.PENANAOX7UJRv9Gu
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.539Please respect copyright.PENANAwPpUQBKwXl
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANA5f6QUQqZe8
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.539Please respect copyright.PENANAgBsIQLvD5D
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 539Please respect copyright.PENANAD1dTvhvFxG
— I wouldn't be able to.539Please respect copyright.PENANAbe2Exq4Pcp
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.539Please respect copyright.PENANAeCZfiqFVdx
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.539Please respect copyright.PENANAAaj39X9Nfh
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.539Please respect copyright.PENANA3C2Sjc6Zhn
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.539Please respect copyright.PENANAUId6bC7z1w
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.539Please respect copyright.PENANAW6IwtyBk8r
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.