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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTg3Bi8I6b
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlwGlBFvlq
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2P7waNV1T0
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQftDQe4cG
— Ok I hear you.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TcqnkABFZ
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtFBNUA56Y
— A tattoo ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFwXvYkpdw
She nods energetically.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvKRQyF84y
— While you are still a minor ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ742Sz8MSVj
— Soon to be an adult.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvN5lC7Pp37
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKffw4OsmV
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdBNsejITZ
— No way ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2j4fyPqZOO
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDc3ZEzxvF
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3OVfHas71
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mR9jThsPW
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6rr7yuap7
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZIPVir7W6
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFW1nzoAbz
— She’s not a cool mother ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFogMgz3F7e
I decide to join them in the kitchen.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUS9ynsj3Y
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSCjVupXYq
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuxbyxZBCb
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DrFDNUGcN
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PSPSy3zm9
My son looks at us, imperturbable.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqz4rjLC4NI
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpJoEDD5lb
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqx0Fary6YP
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbE8Cl9DQF
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0KQAZJzT0
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBD2tJNJmR
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxSb0Gjlpr
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4NBJMuthI
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4NLytCcnd
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbtyKkC6Db
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18EJkdUCz1
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVBpUR3dxa
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgDtFGSNQq
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV6rEKTlcX
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17Nh7n8aS2
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5A1lWFXdJ
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RFFVX1u7s
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIQr3TSCZj
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOHCDjgJhG
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbyt1WzRe6
My father coughs and chokes.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUA9MOxqgtx
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4QctEEXR4
I nod yes.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPRDxLajHU
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ35nHGcgL
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXhdxCeYGZ
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MSBdZpjfJ
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVUi3g5XrJ
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMl26I6cXL8
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLTxMn0Z4F
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfLLg7RPts
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrk0Ffbzlq5
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCdxa3CeUk
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lSA0E9KEr
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkgeFcIkWZ
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJEMJHeUvj
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYYHzv89fr
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5q3KO9oFD8
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxP3UZFGT8
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsF1nti3Uj
— Yes Megan.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvl6FlcVKgC
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Z9tErfjA7
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZ2UFMl4Ei
Many raise their hands including the new one.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbbMRYkdtk
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMGm7b4isf
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dNEl3jmjY
— Perfect, Jessy ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fNfPp5gO6
Jessy… 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv3w5NqV9I
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB22i6HE97W
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNgqVvqXFT
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtVoNeG9n4
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpbd7TVLS8
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLD8fHL1BF
My cheeks immediately turn red.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0rbzljyzV
— There is nothing to say.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52NSyB5AWE
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYZ8FkZo6J
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIeh5VW3NZ
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQO2TOY9T84
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHReMTKV1UQ
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHe2wIvxod
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAsg8X3Pcz
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkV0qLyZ1i
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCbPEf3YKb
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJeQ7ePmYp
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPAkVg0yQY
— I learned a few things about him...451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBecLc7p0P
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzJOYbqqT4
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXaFpplxYR
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sOJOCPTaI
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvOmHSWJV1
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YwOrqEZIH
When I don't answer, he continues : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZI0AV6VCQ
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CBMx0j9fu
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDYL8MjBJq
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Qh8ZrCUuY
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFy4SwNIk8
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9SvDMPtWo
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCVOBYfyN7
Why am I blushing ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxGt8lYjMO
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2IIV3xamf
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKYbDNG0Nw
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgty8ZjyXCq
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzr3Z4pYhN6
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5N4rjhD0t
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLmP3zv7lX
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStHzoCeiqc
— Where were you ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmM0c1IHELj
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklVSOax85n
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkYOkOz5Io
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvhXYQAp3s
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhnGyJliUK
— This guy is weird ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLvKcMt7Dj
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGom0N1FyzX
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OD38rnFeL
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELTv5oUADJ
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDx4VPw67uB
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLBCQErzcI
— I am coming with you.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvfSQ2s5US
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMigzJIp7R
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1YCdjp0N5
My boyfriend raises his voice.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZufkRrDQMR
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxwm6P11uO
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTyLxq4BWu
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWChxEJcVqm
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLyQpzK9D2
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8KDafUZ13
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MsDSXbfjE
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9fW1QK5H7
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4SNbaV1hm
Having little choice, I accept.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZF4FclvU1
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJps6Xt5Dk
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvyI1XNDLK
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMhHQcwhdB
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DbcqNPBjV
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXCyhnJnIv
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5mE9vGPKR
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1jQg0MhTW
— What are you talking about ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInZnUO051E
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3b2bbok15
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ix5VqeJiU
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3o6PGUbsZ
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYc0adjfDG
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYNzAd61hG
— I'm going back.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHjNq6JbI9
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDh7MMMv3A
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsynwTAXGly
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiWHzbPner
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxO39oImb1i
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOXS0m1JEJ
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Dtmm6tvyq
— I need to walk...451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZxMIL6e6N
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXOMYBksoS
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJK3fk1fGh
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoA2exqDsX
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQiN7buonZ
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02EL5kVsI8
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHdCBWlzVa
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl461OmjbJM
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTjOl5AMC5
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbStFYhM5B
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx80idicFqJ
I look at him, surprised.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSHzNSgIXZ
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WiSL2CCGQ
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZrtDy7qbJ
— You're good ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTpSjNHOEd
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSm18RNaano
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBwAcbOagX
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVMHYJhYHk
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKcK4mamFD
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UL82ls8hw
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4PhPBVeJF
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wLnsg5lkc
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzXmAvEFKN
— Did this happen to you too ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfKWyhfrnF
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPtPKzbShS
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36WZEKKcqb
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilNAxzVbe6
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsAmPzqKh1
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEsKWpfkVq
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzv25Amw8p6
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNmVxej3VH
— I see in you.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3GhIuZcIL
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGThRJiOUL
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORlV18OYho
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduGObYwOUg
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmPPAPWMJQ
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOE2vugHd9
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixMNqMZpUW
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkhqqSIe3F
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLxrrNe6EF
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YdUnDqMvn
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahkIXqKkEX
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxNwK7K3IQ
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpCia3qJkk
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96X9uVQ2QF
Immediately, boos are heard.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIPxKZn0gd
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKW4mz7rVP
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJnZkDODaJ
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiacZTfmmMy
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoEQf3rFNN
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpc19x4Bij5
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBhzGlZW6x
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmKlz3GGwe
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRxJPJydY2
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVG4sa0rVK
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEfdjHMfUf
— Jessy, wait ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFL6arFHIRC
He slows down, but doesn't stop.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNJYWpHOMr
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3WeQti5Ey
His shoulders relax and he exhales.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtzDqmjDdB
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEjoplYa9Q
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9DogghNXH
— I'm not…451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKgJTyKcIc
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AgyOs6IHr
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPVHPpcdNX
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6msuHGBPDr
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoSqM698xw
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37DxdY2rim
Why didn't I think of that ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ308vHIB2d1
I refrain from slapping myself.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZNGOMyxYn
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCj0obClOwW
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1YSUzMEaf
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuA9pEtJtSv
But what is happening to me ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeq1TsSl3aj
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJsXirwu58
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvgNP6Bd4y
What's going on with Jessy ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxyfNUXptu
Astonished, I wrote : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFG6830d46
What ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1xQz18Qkr
Chad's response was quick : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NL4liznIz
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvi7k794vrB
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BARcBi6RA
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZs9y7dH0y
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXyWnRAJCR
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡis4XKxeHyJ
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRNssfKyA2
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNQlng8Ty5
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4VcCRKySl
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiuohwUUaz
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2bdnb2rGu
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJTBdoO31p
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLL7fOuKEFd
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZswt1KS4rj
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4dpqnKmoG
I am left speechless.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94e6vAzACG
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbMOwR9lEw
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMX8D1F6mBr
— Very often. I hurt you ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cApwiwrhQ
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2WwNhUmhp
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMdJZ0rZBQ
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkduSVweNj
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtRuEDXMtM
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhRfVtum8q
— Mom, this is Jessy.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrbY2nuw0i
They greet each other.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwOeCIw813
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi82oGnZc8w
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzrtZzZOuL
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dbCSwqC0x
He shrugs his shoulders.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIvuIKuQlz
— I don't want to bother you…451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpETOfJI4ts
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjcQhZit93
— Nicolas is my older brother…451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9zbeprCLo
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZGld1uN79
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTheZUU5EQv
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTLsHtknKN
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeqGSPiXtK
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jfAq5jJHW
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9agPVla38C
— For what ? I tell the truth.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCli63M6YB
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWTEIdFBVB
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXbz4QbMti
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmcAKixL9o
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDL1NgpcrYi
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbaFnx2NzT
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKUHoMzqJW
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyW3yXVFSLK
I glance at him sideways, smiling.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPjAiNJXu0
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFspcTUUH9
— Not really.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUc47R2ORyE
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDo7VUq8j7
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhaOL38P5X
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11khDAwtay
— You think that…451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXXzBn2zCw
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlwogct0aQ
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGPVOQkYBk
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iuJFGEFad
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1X4e8QTIfM
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqH4SGOLp8
— Megan ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGNXz9NNjS
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjljUdIOMK
— I am sure of it ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1iyVj9SL9
I give him a big smile.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLswoZhXzNk
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17T2jSO3UW
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscezg40yRX
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXv7wgvapT
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4A8OMU9EbC
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAfj672ycT
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamuxX0bDaN
— Did you move here alone ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7VBTY71EC
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZUahLo8mH
— No, I live with my mother.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4O3T983Ai
— And your father ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2nq33y1XI
— My father died when I was a kid.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbIWVEMK2b
— Sorry.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO62dNE8ff
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQXPkeTXVp
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DLpkVbEEz
Jessy grimace. 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9iU4mcs3W
— No, they stayed in Allentown.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV827EtZVv2
— For what ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMfQ7L03sw
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT2ubzWaXW
— Joker ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Wvu4d1pCJ
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78pEUtKmuP
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGv4DNwlW6
— Re joker ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVdImF8MwS
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmf165cV71
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvklSyHVglD
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneVr1mQI9Y
Looking serious, he nods.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGexGxmTkL
— So you’re from Allentown ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDWCfpG5bW
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXrfeyM4PI
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoQHH1pRUW
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtmrkX6gax
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJFTIBIdba
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt177gBy42
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8TkvDiR8V
I blush and lower my head.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUZaOieXpu
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUsdCjJQoz
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaM0MK0dIT8
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vpozjST2t
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMa3VhwYBu
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TewRe2Ms9
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2VIQ3iCUR
— You still have ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0z0IIdhGP
— Well no, we split up...451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FPZKVyttu
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEM7sgLTBQ
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4yUJhO1nQ
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZagJruMqaC
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu0Odeuean
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOTIdNOkeB
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoywjHhw8u5
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNRhlmc1SC
He glares at me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1se5EU090A
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCt7dBlRff
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVF2F4ScEv
— So where is the problem ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGraSX5tUz3
— I can not do that.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AgQ7t3YqF
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkawGurV30W
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxv7DvvAjV
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjlxW9M3Ql
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wxZvireoc
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzgZd4xPGi
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VRK2DowS1
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5RyOW4RLF
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvhU1XyHTa
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2hiZTSDLB
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkg22zhfLUa
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrRb1fs6D4
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLfkcZSgSA
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBRvqbzYeE
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9DQM6nGfG
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb2VP4NXNz
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdPVyMmM4V
— Hello ? he says, happily.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Y3uah3vE6
— Nick, it’s me.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvg0nxfMpAG
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcKoG4Y6ul
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMTv3xPtAu
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02iT2qq8rr
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbGVszTtzS
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCZ0awGUJe
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMt5in3XT8E
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2W0j5Oy0dN
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcnY6mrba6
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIYmsfcDsb
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXROH6caX2I
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3K1LNlwzm
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzXSPux0Gr
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXOQEEkjMA
— I wouldn't be able to.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BWQWE88Mc
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzruLnCqWp
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYk87PwfjL
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyPggJB9BV
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkZVbTb8yu
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOn56M8Yab
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
