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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnx4eOTQEv
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIQHRMWfp3
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdVAYyVqA8
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwZEYPwaUd
— Ok I hear you.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXr7eVkEIRQ
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ69YwGqxur
— A tattoo ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4K0oKUYSL
She nods energetically.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdmKUEXD1q
— While you are still a minor ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvUvsg5n9I
— Soon to be an adult.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQ4J14vFWu
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyug6AbiRn3
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gcYtYlbd9
— No way ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1WTmolJ5d
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0ZiEqRdML
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3AElyZHd5
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59e22pqxbW
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkL5AJ3Bub
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETV1rMOHBQ
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdinZzhjPK
— She’s not a cool mother ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDwZdHYXNN
I decide to join them in the kitchen.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSUk0QUDkM
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WHC7BUhI2
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4dMqo2ft9
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQyMuuwJfC
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGQ6TWG1Px
My son looks at us, imperturbable.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuK5uJAEtIl
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrzllPbztK
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjls3hSLK2
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLBZgFSjz6
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZy9huhbyFV
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJ8NzxWdxc
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoGzQgsk9u
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JYCcMrGRW
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3vTmr8EO9
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDrZ62lCJf
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvo9M3vsZRd
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOnDmdv3Qt
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6FgJf2EG3
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3s0WjjWTmi
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkZH9Un6Co
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfCiLnSIeH
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRfKq1jJ0g
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyIQOw5LO6
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEbPz6gRGq
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBu3aaPTMcb
My father coughs and chokes.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0OtQfDS1b
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wAL4MxGMR
I nod yes.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8AANQJ5GL
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYLR6Uqyke
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HWm5XbHyo
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKIHhZghDN
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpG8PKAQOK
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjZI4YZ4Wo
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUESv2kGCB
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tv7kZA7cD
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6R7WxwZWP
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvXgPpMker
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UKIUPPLv5
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaxuT0WBoX
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBhu4Dka6M
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVybgs0mBla
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcHuYW7Or5
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTECMkeByGR
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemCT0OqwxS
— Yes Megan.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNLjbPkNBY
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ3BxobvMb
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpYOJ8uWn6
Many raise their hands including the new one.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cKNSUlb4T
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelwEahoLCk
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZE2Quzsng
— Perfect, Jessy ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXFBIzRmkz
Jessy… 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8IiAH7YBt
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVwCy0djUG
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4GNyMhJQr
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlrQy2iGVB
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCcAcCQUD2
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtEPWaHIE8
My cheeks immediately turn red.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD6ja0Pdag
— There is nothing to say.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNIGdj3DbP
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1UnOfr52x
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzbxgzdx2q
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OZPxk9nbZ
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9d79iCgLQ
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwvq89mKOo
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2TwKrtI1D
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDBt9WIR2P
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJvEo4wjKd
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyo2t1P9jO
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyqtKngm2Z
— I learned a few things about him...526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT58DkZh5af
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWFenUIPu5
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgwRy5fqtE
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSFOEHdVRY
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZAPH41VPx
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTVTooSInw
When I don't answer, he continues : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDCSA0MgNf
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAYhyGu7Gw
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37YpIjs8A2
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTo097oOP72
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreigH8XhaA
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThbI8cTqzt
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xr4jzXY0g
Why am I blushing ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrPRTWheF9
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdErWLVdPN0
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMchz4mbaT
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ982nD2Ubnv
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa8m9YyjGc
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKB1LHQsA1
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhyCflfunK
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO98Dl46oHX
— Where were you ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOBImcdyHN
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5j0Bo9IxI
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2KMidpzYU
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0ohpgOmRb
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIUbkIMJbZ
— This guy is weird ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CVPLi8dDT
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfHK8Oegrh
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVHVPYYFNx
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRyDhJ60Oh
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oKkxEDjWj
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80pwCuC5Pk
— I am coming with you.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1YFX9NLZZ
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUJMwBWdlL
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FzHTBQGbS
My boyfriend raises his voice.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsFe1yIcKo
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hU7lQuzmw
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0oel5sh1M
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBGZyotygu
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFjwwCvLh2
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcWVgoV81U
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAHuWm476p
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWywD3BfpcL
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRyIlmRVqk
Having little choice, I accept.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG21SPmWfjX
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJO4i79x96
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMt2rIzbxnt
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF93IAj59X5
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IoUfCN7qG
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fv7Toi84c
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaUgs1hXTx
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0vCZOU014
— What are you talking about ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uj1fe9deb
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z92JBgGMv
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRafKQbCe9
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6nYyqlt1k
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaQi7xWrIQ
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yyFencSAR
— I'm going back.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzb5xUETpME
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJvI3Hw6so
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOpF3Us77W
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlpyg6GTul
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzJzdfZ8mr
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzlngZOvG9
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEZ92qwD6x
— I need to walk...526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9Iv6FTXeV
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8gJjgntaH
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoT7foTshEo
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJCyaXuihC
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaK5vYUVqp
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJPkaEzIuI
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoobNwIJ9Rx
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEw3IWpkBfM
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4it9hzmc4
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXYG1mvJtZ
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacQqmrzYcE
I look at him, surprised.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBmVrLJpzX
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu73JTiAGb
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGXvmq4BAY
— You're good ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3fWAMeuuG
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclwquoy52p
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeajxBP99Sb
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC73LQHn8D
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83bou2A8d8
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTX2crBOxvq
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUtXTNB1yl
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB8apwMzaU
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKzC5k7LVM
— Did this happen to you too ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqtiK7JjNS
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevkHKdSapd
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszA4eSB0QR
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmsdYANCDo
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6sFubKxOS
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPjfpBzWvx
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFqAAyOce9
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAdiTuB1aZ
— I see in you.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlozJgCgbj
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOi9dP1XkO
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2l6LZGwhw
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VkkM4se86
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhvEQKXuqX
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8qFdQi6nk
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiaRYVhnjt
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxXsFPhrlu
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkL3ZEM2pI
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NbKK0tOfv
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqKDVcyMv9
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28pE7eq2Ok
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQQkjybvc9
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBjwdgMEqW
Immediately, boos are heard.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzrwaRFIHj
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsmEoiuxED
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FJCVop4Fa
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKs8oPDtQnX
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtcoUQhWXC
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjH6JGs8D3
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNktzHsrlE
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0GgLWlCyY
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRH9u0rM6G
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuI6wTLSOeC
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldQ765YSBI
— Jessy, wait ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6WuZsoI2d
He slows down, but doesn't stop.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraFU18GwRt
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81rEgVKITR
His shoulders relax and he exhales.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYFQeQKJ7z
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1irkqjGk5P
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zUAVLXESy
— I'm not…526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6y9G7LJAoo
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0f4mD1SZjM
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGCv7i0PLf
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6wDndQk4G
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4FkPJRLtN
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TyPHt1JZb
Why didn't I think of that ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXORi4U1Sk
I refrain from slapping myself.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDsW8CcwCX
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zE0WrxPbU
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsp7UNPal37
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseVKGw6Jrd
But what is happening to me ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mV5Eis1IQ
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmECNpz4jjQ
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsKGVl9co2
What's going on with Jessy ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnUGdU56Y1
Astonished, I wrote : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoe52tCe7nH
What ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTW4jsrFfPA
Chad's response was quick : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwMv6H5P8h
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJ7Vga4DQx
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXADd6WcQm
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWi3E2GF6s
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbGpeIu5tg
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLCiuNC1Ws
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEk55CtycdQ
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GDQw6xRkC
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxxN2pdQ2u
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoySlvA396
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0COkQu6mOW
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2OrHgGF0W
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRBDN7gkqB
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuS3XytA6G
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCysePGCqbq
I am left speechless.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLtvh4oUYC
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw35d2GvSFn
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0buR1eEwjM
— Very often. I hurt you ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEbXix3Qk7
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZhuP60332
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRG9fGVF0eF
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPx2rzVq5d
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLBaakglBe
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewZed9UacW
— Mom, this is Jessy.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7z4fodpwpL
They greet each other.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9KAbns0Vu
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnKJEWOlM4
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLxfAuRDRR
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZMxdsp6Q2
He shrugs his shoulders.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSuvrAYwDr
— I don't want to bother you…526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvKkJpRwuQ
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIX4bbCf5Z
— Nicolas is my older brother…526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseKbIsz3GD
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRqbRcLnE0
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIXqxshxBE
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMHIPWsMfv
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvuV4cLMAo
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6xxC15IFA
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1VWrX5w3g
— For what ? I tell the truth.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrRfGrNg8x
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZf1C5qmqMq
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuZHyojvcB
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyI1OM2tNT
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqLPYhexTn
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HQXA8g55I
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD95rANuIhT
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TGP45RHRa
I glance at him sideways, smiling.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpHB01J3JX
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eaTIIpism
— Not really.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtEdSXf5Sy
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6apFw0unE0
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lzYAVgApc
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GyCwEB6QG
— You think that…526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZzSKcJ9Hx
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKISfgDikCQ
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mejZpiTM7
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEqN7Xg1Wr
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzb2z40tIO
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMz9YEpQrn
— Megan ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOGi4SjlOn
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8pQ2HIVqN
— I am sure of it ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAf91hjCJI
I give him a big smile.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdr2XNwEJ7
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2f9BwCv5u4
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZIDa5i2YR
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTHECjhheu
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIWTYJJ4no
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDgjxwlUqD
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcP7mXpQMN
— Did you move here alone ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14waGlK9rz
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vu9q346Vu
— No, I live with my mother.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60YI9MZuro
— And your father ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7i3Mf4Cn0t
— My father died when I was a kid.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XdxWecNji
— Sorry.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bNsbCEwHq
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6rDB14kwM
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdc19uWQoc
Jessy grimace. 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2X714zR18
— No, they stayed in Allentown.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSW8F470l78
— For what ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUCVh0FSr1
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiSf3eZUtZ
— Joker ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SzkFI2cm7
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHMArLccGA
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmO0V9YClF
— Re joker ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTo5VKtxbXM
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0xHgo8dvA
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxQWPTpu9e
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9EyNsf2un
Looking serious, he nods.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkurUbX4C6
— So you’re from Allentown ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6gHPrYl4s
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpnRHllGCC
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbfOb7geyQ
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWqssHueM4
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrinoTseNJ
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBg7Qb8FR64
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4EMzQts9A
I blush and lower my head.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLqVPwJQl7
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbHSuwtwmM
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmkssZ2Dfn
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10YHS6a8CQ
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHBsmrRW39
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMYhqtdvuo
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSbm4vx95T
— You still have ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlU7AjDywKY
— Well no, we split up...526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAgEHqgKER
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuxWRDIrE1
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRI4nQYhzX5
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOnOgi50Xx
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9N1Wv7xAe
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pj5Lw3e9Y
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeGBrSZTDr
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlS2ZKk03mp
He glares at me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnLWXHPSny
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6KTFQgRcO
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqSJ1LG0Ps
— So where is the problem ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeV8g98ulNT
— I can not do that.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIOZKYIjhC
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJh3MpXdExi
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSRmnr0HKE
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYSeoIwf95
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojiEwmCc6e
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEThWMM8lpJ
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0jlT51nCq
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjH1G6kYTl
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpZdF1XBZm
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXn8xogJAE6
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnoFTOg3BD
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9o9TopS3G
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5psfDjjXH
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTveYIXP4A4
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlbr60a2vY
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHECRNEzXlS
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4p4ybwWyet
— Hello ? he says, happily.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctmhFD9A6E
— Nick, it’s me.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LkiLUxbWw
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzMhYFasPY
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6tQSgobWe
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uqQfXnMCX
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMuCafLaSc
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqLtTysIvg
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y8pkCfkKQ
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKB8gLpad6
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qe4hARgMu
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoxfUhChtV
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ87vthqzdF
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQJUj1qtrP
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQKHeKJDfu
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNk7gPSzdNh
— I wouldn't be able to.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqlXkGefAX
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK076KPb7qS
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr4c4MATVU
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3qkFjfPrr
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDKvTmyIjS
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55CcjFf2jL
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
