468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Cne7LEBaW
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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA789USvxFH
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmJ67YfVEK
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHnz8QnKNG
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5Y0ux35ev
— Ok I hear you.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7ywMm631d
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2cJ4JDh9W
— A tattoo ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalTk1QOq3q
She nods energetically.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwToCTIld2
— While you are still a minor ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtIwU4qjtz
— Soon to be an adult.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39u6uiniMi
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4rm6OaUXV
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVJqjYb3gh
— No way ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa8FBiRi81
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvgVN0Vcbo
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEMuTso1kC
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtZ5GkQrwy
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLwyQWAAVt
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuT9JjuEUr
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kW6Li67z4
— She’s not a cool mother ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRArInwk9hW
I decide to join them in the kitchen.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4Ujp04lL2
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuijMcPq5T
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbk0V16EI6
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FLWyVMhEc
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSa483wXlT
My son looks at us, imperturbable.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiIOR5hST6
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtU7QLTXdf9
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9q8sCCZIS
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vwBs3GI9l
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ113baeOTeu
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3y0iJBAAgK
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlCZtBghQA
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLdl44f4Mg
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2amgfkeNO5
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGnamsI3Fl
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJz5uduZye
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3M80dxO43
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SFYRwTtW0
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkI1w8kGXq
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1saynNF50
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNGoAhmKbP
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKviZ2bd1R
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDFIuYSHYN
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WBzPNBJhx
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eEhNMZFRb
My father coughs and chokes.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXGDFJvgqG
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrM5e3KABS
I nod yes.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlIKay2Yuc
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHihle3xVhy
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUTf82WAPg
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZmlS7M1Jd
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1etLV2hlN9
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoO87liSar
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnYXBsPSIs
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaY28KI2ZG
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EhRWxPjqP
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEFKbL32Xf
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGe6wXrv1j
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6W0hCrU59
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCjvQy1y22
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbC0ECAGR0
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7scDxlHMM1
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqAAIg1wi3
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY28RPKGblA
— Yes Megan.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbKieuucRj
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMxw8tSgyr
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFHAkX18Yc
Many raise their hands including the new one.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiFIbL3IHX
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUj2At3JiXY
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2typ7Tmpz
— Perfect, Jessy ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl1kMzhwTn
Jessy… 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPpUbhI4yi
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFwgS9Jtw9
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkNOgYHxbc
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHujOD5tJuN
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBL18UGoGk
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdDIxXLl6C
My cheeks immediately turn red.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YMv4WaiTO
— There is nothing to say.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczM8c3svFx
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrQi9QQV8p
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOK06eBm3i
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUebFUMP9E
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDRHXeNW7e
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNdRAna5Y7
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpVqJ5e8yA
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zknDgAJ7a
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsZCZCYYMi
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskm1pEhPLv
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyTRRKVvys
— I learned a few things about him...468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQpb3baqSj
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQ8IYm1kh3
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3SClDJlmz
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFyYH4GgVy
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqjtBL8C3N
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN35qxSaPs
When I don't answer, he continues : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevd3332sNs
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKX0OPzcLM6
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkWckArdjm
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx0wKllQmB
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKNVcsbNHa
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02meLAw0ZJ
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6m0S3SLez
Why am I blushing ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq84PS9hZwv
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd89ssMS6Yg
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaiJZX7ToD
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPMkQBux7k
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMOn1ZsIvQ
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JORjF9dtT
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzlWKoIuQ1
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvP6XRyKQd
— Where were you ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6K3ozfn8CK
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2OSUHjNMq
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbGLPwRv9T
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPh0aA0ulLX
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtQ57rIoMU
— This guy is weird ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JE4WWvFXO
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE00QvwWkA2
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlHM5HzK0F
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNquwicBcRx
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQ5bebhtHG
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KAzZ20juH
— I am coming with you.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvD7IVB78v
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3ecDUsKBC
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhaQglirPN
My boyfriend raises his voice.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJSMZtbzsJ
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuSdGqyEJU
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagTGmA2ZFb
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvR9BRKOdih
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLH284G914O
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhGRxsNpuB
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yByM1ulpL
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTATLJxTjX6
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKx810JDEHj
Having little choice, I accept.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9HQ8rxFKM
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWO7G9nJEGP
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUVxUWhWqb
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGqRcAnsv3
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwzS5Nuyzx
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjy1TYOzj6
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6Di2q9JJT
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQktP6stNqi
— What are you talking about ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpwyEux37X
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjymA5KFnCa
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqogRYNuGD2
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsywGhZDTd
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvnUWOJueQ
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwne6QneOf
— I'm going back.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7VzEXOrg9
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3grSz018f
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51PVRx1qvM
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLM9WHOmje
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSma8ifiP1y
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyKaBi1Q93
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsN79g6ptpv
— I need to walk...468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3MPx1oNQc
468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSJiwG16FP
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLQXMdgSnO
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMu6I8rcKep
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhGuizGJjM
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmFLA39dJz
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoq5AFh4OA
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKJZGL5A2g
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DnMm672oW
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0tv4DFHy6
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkxJbkiQEa
I look at him, surprised.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8q0qZ5WuL0
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGZK5ioPkY
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0fmDzwbIs
— You're good ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIk8KfdvAWC
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5iAuBtZfY
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiWoOsZMrX
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSfazwmpWL
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MlXFVuLid
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7dV9iM5V9
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuB0DLWrXx
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrFlAFzM9E
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Vs5n8xeH8
— Did this happen to you too ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyjbHFIbDe
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQ2w7rpCWH
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJH9UqQHcO
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBMvfdYAgY
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSSls79tzv
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92Xd5ps087
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXmTrrWKnK
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP27vYm4uaA
— I see in you.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaDAWJ45YC
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2n83njtVXf
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZWnYv38uH
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3Igtf9fVy
468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXN1eI8PF0
468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dLv5J92hN
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4dnrhsvkW
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUcL0nCDdL
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqnVNLqr35
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLhTw2QlHm
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EpuCD40su
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15Za5Y0QCs
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rTHCD3qzi
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2zzkruTgv
Immediately, boos are heard.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEprQvxYxzO
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6P7kpylQU
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwzhDQRUyh
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVwOPEiHrz
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW9GIxDnbi
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1n1tmS12c
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwKrQfSxxr
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3BA6bF7QB
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBdqlQvwuk
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIqb3J68xY
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAt83PljyR
— Jessy, wait ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FhTuPjjsB
He slows down, but doesn't stop.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WhbMa2D7C
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfrMRzDNRs
His shoulders relax and he exhales.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xVoLdmYGo
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCchgaWNhM2
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LKWlxaK89
— I'm not…468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCRh0fiUlm
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTGt4oIQrZ
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlodshHIB1f
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpO8h3sX8dM
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2I6z7jV90
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdR4Dd1KBBK
Why didn't I think of that ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXT4wnooPuc
I refrain from slapping myself.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4PEtdj9nq
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2TmfpP80v
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbAkHGO1Bs
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDiJBg0hBX
But what is happening to me ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVTN6I8DEh
468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ317tjS32wg
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIIUz1hdgj
What's going on with Jessy ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83OfvECT7o
Astonished, I wrote : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRy4HdQe8pu
What ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHyJtrnPB9
Chad's response was quick : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjUWJn78so
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzcWYDte7P
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzOTacE2s1
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIFbuSklpJ
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZA2zDWZuN
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjRDm2XhM8
468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgyscSKRZl
468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSsVcyQSf9
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV61QeCVJV
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhljmrMApN
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxjcrjyulC
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwwOK4daOq
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9a188yZXb
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEJ1v2PT5J
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECUwPE16a2
I am left speechless.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBJ9FMzMKY
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8Q1csDHbV
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiwlsfh4U4
— Very often. I hurt you ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULtdbos1Pm
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1DhoyFcxX
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRGzhOKmbt
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvjsSU8PPi
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7w3mz5l3W
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTd3WJv9eAe
— Mom, this is Jessy.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmDytFWK5N
They greet each other.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLYWH24MR6
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB79UVcVjKv
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc68V2cgpBx
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxb6qNzY8jt
He shrugs his shoulders.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaxhlPvNTB
— I don't want to bother you…468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEiYzWmPYV
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwK0FlZ2HB
— Nicolas is my older brother…468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKQzB3fhmO
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFgfmilkdX
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JPhurGajJ
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZKB49TqBc
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjukwWySQij
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHp5A670FC
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToIWJZwfa8
— For what ? I tell the truth.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwbYsloAJW
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKFHCaOhWq
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf32VLAdUdB
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ooxaray0s
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tbPlXjZrT
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNp5rzFxAp
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4XIzTutSn
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFSkzExNTA
I glance at him sideways, smiling.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUdnWYe00Q
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37pwgbYsIs
— Not really.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm40ccyKsko
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSu81jwu95s
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzirRWNfs4a
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLOOx56Q7X
— You think that…468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzirb1mPszK
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhWhAfIOaE
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQr0nNrxMx
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8IReK5aIr
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7khDPyafA
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3Ai5TFznG
— Megan ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG09LJbOmo
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnRl45BZjx
— I am sure of it ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqymeMcYITH
I give him a big smile.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkPIY8bLng
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3kmtoc964
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡianFqDaFQB
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WBYsL1dho
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjGJs4GlXD
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKh94JamRu
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjHviDNVPp
— Did you move here alone ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEDuD4lRV1
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd9aMQrVCR
— No, I live with my mother.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLcvDVJrte
— And your father ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAm3fahpAvb
— My father died when I was a kid.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsEyawv22G
— Sorry.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGBqbInEny
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTPvyMHaX5
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeymw020mNM
Jessy grimace. 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtZGIUwzjN
— No, they stayed in Allentown.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArliC2DFck
— For what ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplXRBb0DTT
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAh8wDVR8H
— Joker ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxqVS4siQY
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTguVbbilF
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb15Koocy3
— Re joker ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpZaKSBV6I
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1UYStMAkG
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3o5KPgy1xw
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXNFqOHJzg
Looking serious, he nods.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rE7cDQD2G
— So you’re from Allentown ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBHjPLm7EC
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOgakpW5HP
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6gkIKMlv5
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFTof5G0BX
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmcNSftAKu
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBv7QsjQVvy
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJIsRnJpdq
I blush and lower my head.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbem0Cy3yDW
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTGA5TF3yV
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sOfoPmQeL
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3B2Y4b8flh
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BnbsjFwL8
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPE3EOzdwK
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkM7MYdFdM
— You still have ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tiyjmDnoO
— Well no, we split up...468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUDmyz9Y2E
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtnZvYXOT6
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3njFbh4h66
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8KPPw43ZZ
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9FlgxllJn
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WOE0wcdaN
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZQizlTmFm
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzzGRRnVmZ
He glares at me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6B56WmRtK
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RAX8HEvm0
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSlO1LOCKT
— So where is the problem ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKVfvobQEz
— I can not do that.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpoOqHm9cY
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDanYfJCHvK
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Mraycsstg
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YJYFhL5JJ
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16j8i6Jzih
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNJ7ZYlGe2
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgJnuzcgeD
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x0IvOp00v
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz0DsjIbqL
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5mjC7o0GM
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8vPnUxM77
468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzAJhKU2Rn
468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5o7eHidgPX
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgdftDx3GT
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAU12dawPfN
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6D7GxduGKn
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4wI1ucTfb
— Hello ? he says, happily.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvU7FQkvNkB
— Nick, it’s me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5lRq8Qnf4
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Zk7ZgRTHw
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw3dEJw8dI
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcYkK00yNA
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CxnuV3Ljs
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynLh9DLyjO
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMdt26335s
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTNLo8sZvE
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDkH1hKzCg
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ggt0kXtx2
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKj1RbEPBC
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjN604PfJm
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfSUf6brjC
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPEek74JPt
— I wouldn't be able to.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbDnK4qbDR
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEQsyiKMMq
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWgHMCxMFO
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffjqlp8iNs
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeK7e2pujOX
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaqZRugfVA
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
