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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA89Hp8kPkT
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ28kaZDg7
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ee9g7hdvf
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvoj90iKQc
— Ok I hear you.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9sq3lIypl
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPHvIcRskP
— A tattoo ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dWiV9Di2F
She nods energetically.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK48oGvLvME
— While you are still a minor ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4qtErSiaC
— Soon to be an adult.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHVpoVerZn
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSiXUWADUW
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2c6tR3ltpX
— No way ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItR3UQzJlC
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHwuvLMSbr
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60roswrEQg
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0LcEugfio
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5DkSMuPf8
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGbtmoOWiQ
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3TRlq0PU7
— She’s not a cool mother ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrEu6bncnd
I decide to join them in the kitchen.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoKhVnBQYN
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBtZmu4kcw
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GfpORSsXj
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrf0DD4XS7
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCiHnorWMe
My son looks at us, imperturbable.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEmTSKTPvI
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvrdydRQCX
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsF4u6qKdiL
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHTuSWhR3g
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0xOVy8eHv
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6bXoGF65x
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYEiVQkcQX
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThC6Bgt0cG
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAlt9MBKQN
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1q19bakjZv
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4yAzXAMrx
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VuYjEu1JB
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEG3twukI1D
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwIUdPlgLH
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6s8W06TVW
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf99QA29x2x
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GQbXKGDfm
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgH6qjt8qV
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvFsOTa2W2
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡao3VHG5rrB
My father coughs and chokes.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHatYxxJ6m
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVJm89N6I0
I nod yes.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GWWsmMP7V
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlP0Cu7nyOZ
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJMuABOENB
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBzetlXmob
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LEcycP5PW
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSl2Q15cog
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MMTVo6bhf
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7E9eExGfXb
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6gw045RbI
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaztNjJKOZ
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9zadBd9Nj
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPujekDePy
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAfB0fO0xl
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAa6etAvvf4
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVQn1xIO1s
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlewmYEHIq
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUi6qbQe0fP
— Yes Megan.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtliVR7ETq
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BJHXDjzdT
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHg6MaX4Cm
Many raise their hands including the new one.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfNFnxUmPe
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCkDTFV6Sk
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYJGzVUHPY
— Perfect, Jessy ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCoNhjPAAz
Jessy… 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluvV5o0hG3
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1f0wsbR38
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0n387i1yj
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxqCnohl9B
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6mVdxFDY7
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAW8p29OdJf
My cheeks immediately turn red.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSxYyTS5qB
— There is nothing to say.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOPodd76jn
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28z31wDwaD
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvc07Zqrrm
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaft7psi2r
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4v0QyCSca
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJvkZXzeZs
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tjlZBJTK9
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdtAfcWqlG
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3M7uQO5DR
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwTQfpAb0i
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jLs5uZOz9
— I learned a few things about him...553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwq7OwZGo5J
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl894rJItrV
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDY6qgkQHLH
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsICFF92NEB
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6mOKBprC2
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10myyK2Xmw
When I don't answer, he continues : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0zvUIB6lK
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwjybu5P5z
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesV6JuyjZK
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lrKCMdx7R
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyxISsaefH
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzLScpuYbt
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdA3TTAM3YR
Why am I blushing ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkD4tHDaFIk
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmr4IiG3xUf
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybBjtLKd5y
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8cAcqYkYF
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTM8gJL2ZV
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJeIQOYyaZ
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYCT5R3t5a
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aiSIDDuy2
— Where were you ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZSmwMSnzv
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiZZLdmNyE
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGhA2cdzUz
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDc3Cbg94ue
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7kZKCYUf8
— This guy is weird ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYRNnEvbuu
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvYabNrleH
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAMTNMTBvd
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXhqFZ3o8k
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOWA763jTH
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyHS45jng8
— I am coming with you.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlb9PYuoeD
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZPxONNGOD
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFB6t5rdw4A
My boyfriend raises his voice.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LddFXEJDh
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXBj3UqeJd
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3O2Hl1uNB
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFn5E6jBlMG
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGh8IqBhX4
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1da0YWetV
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadI1LXeBQ2
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2UdFt5uE6
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDDrKgdgGx
Having little choice, I accept.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nhhchFNrA
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLLvQAi9q6
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEGOTAHLDR
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPr3PXvJoIJ
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8V8qsecupK
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAmxDTSbis
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowPIUYdokt
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAiVUj9ZBS
— What are you talking about ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvM5Xn46lQ
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsC4Bqxt62y
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUHhLeQ5lg
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgB6Lr3x4Xw
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7kbXpeJCM
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM83Ap1XVQn
— I'm going back.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDwvx2yOwo
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUk6aA1kLw
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczLzFDob7L
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfchpIHcfO0
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo20Y8ZD4Tv
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZacgLlxxu
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAvO5cSRr6
— I need to walk...553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQpQ2WVtUv
553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3ZWmvM26x
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7F0f9yFn4c
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0vMDBtmNZ
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMxrRxRIq5
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcOIeZQkbr
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzWb3u0U3z
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryynC0bDIh
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFm7l6Jq19
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVytAPedcq
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgPjd5xKtZ
I look at him, surprised.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGN2mwNuLt
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhJL3CDnZ1
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17PevlMNfe
— You're good ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcprgqCCyE
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcikyrKBq1K
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2EDKLpLTC
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3N8xgXNc4
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiiaKJlafE
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uRYqE2hvp
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFR1tSLMMY
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpldlrLWn9Q
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD87THilNO3
— Did this happen to you too ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguOeC48uDd
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmOgpUqfJe
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fU6FY263F
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjD7gIJ0ZFM
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlTPHB55sS
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMr2EQTE14
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVhpowq0CG
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hNcXcWT2G
— I see in you.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmqVVJQChN
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAb9DkFmpQ9
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZV358RPDPd
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0HZJfCwBD
553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0KBkCYDDB
553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLK72PUvDY
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhKSoOS0D8
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAS1xKSfne
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkg5sFegrdh
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfD8GhPfBA
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIQLNjXlBa
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKim50CQU1J
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEJqRaYYKx
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nGz5CtJFO
Immediately, boos are heard.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujIwOpxJPy
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dtZANAjzN
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpi0wqB4SLc
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3l53eUHRUt
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCZxNnZ5eo
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXT5HqG40qu
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94EFHae2rv
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyorWXxVUMx
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlgBv6z9E1
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7SankxIgf
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfEEJj1Mko
— Jessy, wait ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoi6dxjVAdw
He slows down, but doesn't stop.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjzJEyI63Z
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngOLYOMAlo
His shoulders relax and he exhales.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkxYmYgU1D
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59zIAHQhRX
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhcx1ph2w2
— I'm not…553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUZpCPszRD
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRuSA0cL3x
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxGal82ahh
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnAUlaAMUo
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHRoPCoKgY
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwWcFUAFPT
Why didn't I think of that ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2VK20u7HT
I refrain from slapping myself.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QpocNQ8A2
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCieL1LfJB
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsH4bxjc2pi
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6GMn9HO5N
But what is happening to me ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RzdKA23w8
553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFUeXuOLra
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzq92XwAjqW
What's going on with Jessy ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfK63U29MWE
Astonished, I wrote : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7Me3sta0E
What ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxvQpo2s6C
Chad's response was quick : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinp7PyqX4T
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqglyDOVYy
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC7CVExi67
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbnvQvJp5A
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84xaa3VPWW
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2N0ZSfFqE
553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM4mbnemQu
553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN33R3DAay
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CsS3k4pXB
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6RZ8TPiHI
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLZUKWcINg
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OmaEgQgSd
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjgk6zbIKd
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapMpF27BQD
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbKvLvjwdI
I am left speechless.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyE4DGx8jV9
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipKunb1ood
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZilWzjLsF
— Very often. I hurt you ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQWlSVuQ8D
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNbch4tR7N
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGC3FDV6i3o
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDCVHPq9p9
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeTDtunXho
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAWwPpVK7k
— Mom, this is Jessy.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gLxVi5Awu
They greet each other.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDQzRZ1Hbs
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5d3CGuh6jl
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTRSDVDovL
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR57jAmSUWM
He shrugs his shoulders.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANvLQ2ivUQ
— I don't want to bother you…553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxjDuz1KvD
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKZF6Dxez1
— Nicolas is my older brother…553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8l8YZpXMzU
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMya3DyeBu
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CxqZcjTyG
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0hxguwc2Z
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBR8HapPms
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmL72ADojWJ
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2iUsTabsP
— For what ? I tell the truth.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1a5l3hImO3
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjinge76sOw
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBModDTabM
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgjirQmLLM
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudrbs4Dko3
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHLd4xWezg
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzZCib00F5
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGhP4zjk0q
I glance at him sideways, smiling.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHKEfL8JE5
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGKT6oR2Ja
— Not really.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJPcATkZLM
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMc37XRdgg
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5nNWqGqWm
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Pg2RuJFDX
— You think that…553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7tOD2l1nO
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMnYRewmG6
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyhMOZRMUg
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ddyU9ukav
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZfUiS1P1x
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7NI1TYQwH
— Megan ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvxHgx1ISP
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnih1slp9XF
— I am sure of it ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFBxOKIUAk
I give him a big smile.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcx9VQlDcvc
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvW0IsWFpib
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2rI7Hym9x
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xqFqGRl9j
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EPH2CUMgQ
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtgP5cOvUB
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyEvmMeErd
— Did you move here alone ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkvB6T8S8g
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsj1PfLdqgU
— No, I live with my mother.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nM5BTA1rC
— And your father ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBGyoHs8jo
— My father died when I was a kid.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14HGCEW1OG
— Sorry.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3iPytxVJp
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uRJIhwMxB
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RYZe50cpO
Jessy grimace. 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVvezAfE1W
— No, they stayed in Allentown.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3uqGc53J1
— For what ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFNKXres5U
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGkrYomFnw
— Joker ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEpEZ6OQY1
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKkCziEkW7
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPl5joqCfk
— Re joker ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrF9W30bOqj
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluPFg9oP7c
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSJK5A5iCj
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIJY1QrGZR
Looking serious, he nods.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFA5h7CoJcI
— So you’re from Allentown ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfgQxBxTVY
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9ciThu0H4
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxG1hLHTQ7
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZfBppa273
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xNBMJLfM8
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywDunWyDWK
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoEHnEGtoY
I blush and lower my head.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sftp1abHP
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCU9sc6MIBr
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHPR97i7VH
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWXZYLHohq
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOuAgH9AGa
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tUOkxrM21
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtw9vovjriN
— You still have ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLNvyomhW6
— Well no, we split up...553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFp5dgDZLya
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPY6IQfqfoF
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMEIMeoheV
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFLCs76B5a
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPlkw216yc
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRjesyitXD
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmAlqaxQXG
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBv2uOzEAgR
He glares at me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJSUUFBkOp
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEzXgQ1D6Z
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCFyYTwrbt
— So where is the problem ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1meOpi0dm
— I can not do that.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgccNU0H1B
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdhFS0Qhd9
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNT9kINb6pR
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzHTw32Ozd
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQF1tqharN
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUufGgC7jgy
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2C6KLSY92Y
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlDfDFZkRM
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90Z1Irel3B
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqBJCy17oo
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwbzOLnieX
553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjsS4atTp3
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When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqy1VxWCORC
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxmcTbXfqL
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaDoqnW03q
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgdCX3TVoi
— Hello ? he says, happily.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFM1NUa7TH
— Nick, it’s me.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu70Io4oBnh
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsISCy7PA7
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtgE0OVpW7
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZ8KRxX4He
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRX1pQUTMz
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPZ4Ue5ouI
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7wfTiSqP8
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeciK53LyE
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRJUkGqyeT
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7JZIl0viK
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3CzpkdjNU
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMiq3MbSYk
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UQb62KraS
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhe3YTRL8t
— I wouldn't be able to.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7rbMMmFGH
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTnFwD5ooW
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNuJbAGzcu
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8RzWgK2FH
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbAz2qfB7E
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.553Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bGiyVGEfy
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
