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For long minutes, I stroke Jessy's wet hair, trying to soothe his pain, his fears. When he straightens his face, he seems ashamed to have cried in my arms. Delicately, I wipe away his last tears, surprised that he lets me do it, and smile at him to reassure him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzprxBQpj0z
We set off on our way back in torrential rain, yet we walk peacefully, savoring the fact of being together. I don't care if it rains as long as I'm with him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2B2QnTEig
— Anyway, we're already soaked, I answer Jessy when he asks me if I want to run to get to his house faster. It'll be OK ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrR71y5wCF3
— Yeah, I think so.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDGvPuo94o
— Jessy, please promise me you’ll never let yourself fall into the void like that again. I got the fright of my life.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOOL4TnzYm
Hands in his pockets, he shrugs his shoulders and breathes deeply before telling me : 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZM3IBp5anA
— Promise. Why do you care about me so much ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8sYKfgc9P
His question makes my heart beat faster. I'm not ready to tell him the feelings he inspires in me. I have to analyze them first and try to find out what he feels. So even though I feel my cheeks turning pink, I answer him evasively.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C9BsMT7ts
— Why not ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5lkFHA8qz
— When people learn about AIDS, they turn their backs on me. This is why my mother and I came to live here. Even my father-in-law couldn't stand me living under his roof anymore.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eV3TXRDcj
— There are morons everywhere, I whisper. Jessy, I like you. I'm not going to start ignoring you because you have a health problem.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57KJB4RZ6A
— Thank you, he murmurs, pursing his lips. I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I didn't mean to be so rude.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgWzby9u1d
His unexpected apology really makes me happy. When Jessy stops telling me off, I see in him the boy I had guessed at first glance : A good guy to whom difficult things happen. I think that's why he always tries to show an angry face, he has suffered so much that he doesn't want people to perceive his fragility.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeM9eIEzUGz
— It's forgotten. By the way, I met your mother. She seems very nice.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0l4198EfLZ
Despite our slow walk, we already arrive in front of his house.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMI3ia2RogH
— She is. Do you want me to take you home ? I can borrow his car.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqqz35Gv03
— No, it is going to be fine. I don't want to get the seats soggy, I smile. See you tomorrow ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOS2BWdGvTQ
I am happy to see him nod with a big smile. And as I walk away, I realize I've never been closer to him than I am tonight.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJf9ouH4yQ
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It's almost 11 p.m. when I get home, completely soaked. My parents are waiting for me, impatient and worried.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAtbFNBcqD
— Finally, here you are, my father roared. Look at you, you're good at wringing ! 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOldd7D9KPo
— Were you with Jessy ? My mother asks in her usual soft voice.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu0MpvHCDw
I nod, shivering from the cold.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3djvAs7G4J
— We spoke with Mrs. Sutter at the meeting. She told us that her son had been missing for hours and that she had no idea where he might be. She was very worried about him, my father told me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4tXvEubnR
— He went back home. How did the meeting go ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FHdhsOhay
— Start by drying off, we'll tell you later.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhC0NrtS26
I head into the bathroom where I warm up quickly and quickly put on my pajamas, as well as a warm dressing gown, as I can't wait to see how the evening unfolds. I find my parents in the living room, where everyone, in an armchair, drinks coffee while waiting for me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGMPmQoyKs
— So how did it go ? I said, sitting across from them on the couch.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDlOgDdCsq
— Difficult to say, my father grimaces. The principal had asked a doctor to come and answer the parents' questions. It calmed some when he assured their children were not at risk of breathing the same air as Jessy or touching him. But other parents are obtuse and want him to be expelled at all costs. They are simply scared to death, to the point of not understanding that AIDS is not caught like that.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlfxVz1VVR
— Mrs. Sutter spoke, saying how much she loves her son and that there is no risk in sharing his life since she has been doing it for a year without problem, my mother added. She is a very dignified and courageous woman. She told us you came to see her.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgUJXXJEnx
— Indeed, I was looking for Jessy.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqOD40cy98
— Nina told us that you went looking for him after Chad’s visit. Did you find it ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGg6UmihSg7
— Yes, and as far as you know, it’s over between Chad and me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQkWkJedSE
Contrary to what I thought, my father doesn't seem surprised. My mother must have already told him about it. However, I don't like the look they exchange before my mother asks me : 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGatDXzjft
— Because of Jessy ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnj2CdxLsQY
— Yes and no. Jessy and I are friends. But let’s say that meeting him allowed me to open my eyes to Chad and his little world. I realized that, contrary to what I believed, I am not in love with him. I like him a lot but in a friendly way.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoxH4waXxe
Once again my parents exchange this strange look which seems to mean that they are not at the end of their trouble with me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXH2wL9d5Sx
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The next morning, when I arrived near the school, I saw Jessy waiting outside on the sidewalk.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMYEH20oHD
— Hi, how are you ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaHgtDTGJM
He puts a hand to his heart.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ3FNR6dVr
— Oh, you scared me ! 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFV8WJU7ZF
I burst out laughing.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jRwRf6A4Y
— That’s for the scare you gave me last night ! 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXsVRkVo8B
— It’s fair game, he smiled.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEEckmzGOY
He stares at the large white building without taking a step towards it. Since I stayed in his arms the day before for several minutes, he no longer intimidates me as much, and this impression of knowing him for a long time has strengthened. I saw his fragility behind his anger, I saw his despair, but also his strength.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYLEpGSNX4
— Are you planning to come to class today ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt5C3bDjki
— I don't know. After what happened yesterday...and then this meeting.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa6OzW8IcC
He huffs and then purses his lips, visibly uncomfortable.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpwd07tnOp
— Did your mother tell you ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonXabpsGT7
— Yes, apparently the parents can't do anything against me, but there is always the possibility that they will contact the academy and file a complaint to have me fired. In fact, I wonder if it wouldn't be better if I gave up... 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzoqXIzk0n
— No way ! 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrM2gnrlM6T
Jessy looks at me, surprised.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MboYCKv55
— We'll go together and everything will go well, you'll see.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9QIOjTK7O
— There are looks that are sometimes hard to bear, he admits to me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQ1JRfnGZ3
However, I notice that he accompanies me towards high school.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23yT9NcM0Y
— I believe that, unfortunately, you can never please everyone, so give a chance to know you to those who want it and forget the morons.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcl777rRCU
We enter the main hallway, students turn to look at us as I continue talking so that he focuses more on my voice than on the eyes focused on him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hK8FuueFi
— With time, there will be those who will realize who you really are and they will come to you, as for those who continue to criticize you, act as if they don't exist. They're the idiots, not you.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFIqzGdfzA
I meet the gaze of a tall guy, named Tyler, who grimaces when he hears me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBUrErfjMx
— Yes, complete idiots, I said again in a louder voice.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxL3sc8Ng9Q
Jessy gives me a grateful smile.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2fvWJkiOF
— Oh, it’s getting bad, he murmurs.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBXQktZrl7
I follow his gaze and see Chad striding towards us. He stands in front of Jessy and, after a few seconds of hesitation, offers his hand.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpucIXYgulN
— I'm sorry for yesterday. For the fight…and everything else. I should never have listened to your conversation and above all I should never have repeated his secret. I'm really sorry.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7LtKVmipW
Jessy hesitates for a few seconds then squeezes his hand, nodding.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vIbPTLkRZ
— Thanks.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvRXAHtruv
His eyes move from Jessy to me, he doesn't seem to know how to behave around me anymore.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIFhdgqoQi
Around us, several students observe the scene. Chad is the most popular boy in school and I suspect that after this reconciling handshake, the attitude of some people will change.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyFcnfZPhA
He taps Jessy on the shoulder and says — See you later and walks away.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymRNr17nI4
— It’s weird that Chad came to apologize. Did you ask him to do it ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0jHNV6JQs
— No, he did it alone, but you know, he’s like that. He is impulsive, but quickly regrets his outbursts... I feel, more than I see, Jessy looking at me in profile.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJmw0TdRkr
— What ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaV9ELeMDp
I turn my head towards him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdqdTeasHm
— Why did you break up ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7ejhiEs81
— We are too different.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRqvZyT4XI
I shrug my shoulders as if it were obvious.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gjjg5Hx6j
— And are you okay ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zUiOi8Yzn
I see in his eyes that he really cares about me, it warms my heart.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlWXGQsJHE
— Alright.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMV0aLzhaq4
A small smile appears at the corners of his lips.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjBNnQLkRa
— I know you don't like Chad very much, but erase that little smug look. (I smile in turn as the bell rings for the start of classes.) We're going to be late, come on.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZvGJDutxk
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In the days that followed, things calmed down at the school. I can't say that Jessy goes unnoticed, but he is seen less as an outcast, which is already a small victory. At school, I was always the model student, collecting good grades. The super serious girl who has the teachers on her side. When I dated Chad, who is the most popular guy, I became popular and other girls tended to take their cues from me. So, even if there are a few who look away and whisper as she passes, most of the students are starting to accept Jessy. Since the evening on the bridge, we have spent a lot of time together. I prefer to be with him rather than with my pseudo friends : Pearl and especially Amy, who has turned her back on me since Chad and I separated.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5aA7gboaZ
Jessy has become my best friend. I can talk to him about everything without being afraid that he will judge me; however, he always gives me his honest opinion.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Y3Art1ruA
Jessy lived surrounded by family and friends before learning of his HIV status, but he told me that when those close to him learned of his illness, everyone turned their backs on him and, overnight, he found himself abandoned. Only his mother remained near him. By moving to Millisky where Mrs. Sutter found a job as a secretary in a bank, she hoped that her son would finally be able to return to a normal life.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB51SDdtHZ
The more I get to know him and the less I want this solitary life for him, it's like a kind of mission that I have set for myself. I may not be able to save him, but I can make him smile again. Also, I force him to accompany me to the cinema, to the theater, to fast food. Jessy complains, protests, sometimes drags his feet, but in the end, I always make him give in.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbf3EYVPAyh
— You've lived locked up enough like that ! » is my key phrase to convince him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25DOf3BGtu
He then rolls his eyes, huffing in exasperation while his cross— shaped earring swings to the rhythm of his breathing. Finally, he looks at me with a little smile which alone symbolizes my victory.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopjCaZvVHz
I am myself with him. We have a lot of tastes in common, we laugh at the same jokes, we talk about everything and nothing without ever getting tired of it. And when I'm not with him, he haunts my mind. He is the first person I think of in the morning when I wake up and the last in the evening before I go to sleep. In a few weeks, it has invaded my life and I hope more than anything that it continues as long as possible.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3v1HAyfgYI
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— Hello Mrs. Sutter, are you well ? I say happily as I enter the living room, accompanied by Jessy.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3KIZkQlSh
Over the past few weeks, I've been spending so much time at the Sutters' that it feels like my second home. I really like Jessy's mother. Just by his look, we perceive his kindness and his strength. I am always welcome at their home and even though Jessy can come to my house whenever he wants, I understand that he is more comfortable in his environment.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrq4VV28DHr
— Good Meg and you ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelCqC9pTtp
— I’m fine.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuJNTrAqoO
Elise gets up while Jessy goes to turn on the television.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLDzHOYNNL
— What movie are you going to watch ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOYhcbxORD
— Ghost ! With a big smile, I show the video tape I brought, asking him : Are you staying to watch it with us ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEsxhHa3ji
— Unfortunately, I can't. I have not finished completing a loan application for a client. I’m going to go lock myself in my room with this file, she sighs.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WTnOUuUxA
— Good luck, Mrs Sutter. 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKCCYyHpKJ
She takes a few steps away before turning back to me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOXKBZQXCQ
— Meg, for the hundredth time, call me Elise.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLNeo59ekt
— I'll try, I promise.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjp161x98YG
His mother leaves the room, leaving us alone.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxJtgLZPUb
— Pop corn ? Jessy asks me. I only have salty, I don't like sweet.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQ5LPEBqoM
— That suits me very well.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVy9UgWV4c
Once the popcorn is in a large bowl, we sit on the sofa in front of the television. Almost two hours later, I overcame my fear that he would send me away for daring to lean my head on Jessy's shoulder. To my great relief, he just smiled as he continued to watch the film. Now that it is ending, I can no longer contain my emotion and shed many tears.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLgK5aSEed
— Don’t make fun, I said, seeing him laugh discreetly.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VXEkNhGWR
I stand up and stretch before wiping my eyes.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzP4vs78tWX
— Patrick Swayze is too sexy, I comment.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcN8sSzdAp
— Demi Moore is not to be outdone, he sighs, lowering his head.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIsTh6VtLJ
He suddenly seems sad, which worries me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1KOvVAK56
— Isn't that okay ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBqWOgKg1E
— Yes, it’s just that… Do you believe that the afterlife exists ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1SBz1tF9Q
Still sitting on the couch, I turn to him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuN4KrSf6Rh
— I think yes. However, I don't know if it's like in this movie.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo61nIzMIZx
He adopts the same position as me, we find ourselves face to face.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3UY80gw7C
— If that’s the case, I’ll make sure to let you know when I get there.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxns76uKNxH
I wasn't expecting this response which took me completely by surprise. New uncontrollable tears flood my face. Reality suddenly reminds me. When I am with Jessy, I forget his illness because he is him, the boy I love with all my heart even if he knows nothing about my feelings. But there, faced with the virus, I find myself facing its imminent death. It’s a horrible thing that I try not to think about, as if that could prevent it from happening. I know this is stupid and despite all my efforts, AIDS still remains in the back of my mind. But hearing Jessy talk about his departure is upsetting. I would love to tell him that I am in love with him and that he has no right to leave me, ever. However, this is one of the subjects that I cannot discuss with him as I am sure that he would send me away again. He needs support, so I'm content to be his friend, secretly hoping that one day he'll realize that I mean more to him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNs6Uzr0JK
— What do you have ? He is surprised.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8mHpNkmRC
— I don't want you to die Jessy ! 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwbMOlGxry
I burst into tears as I threw myself on his neck. Immediately, he hugs me back.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXATNmXgyM
— Don’t cry, he whispers in my ear. I don't like seeing you sad.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYYdML93I6
His heart beating wildly against my chest reminds me that he is still very much alive and that as long as that is the case, we must not lose hope.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZdjFuHCmE
Staring at him, I detach myself from him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUOh8uAL6I
— You're going to fight to stay alive, aren't you ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtik35qLg8G
He strokes a lock of my hair that falls to the side of his face while observing me attentively. He seems to weigh the weight of his words.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvazljFRkqe
Finally, he nods in agreement.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPIppi3QhA
— I have confidence in the future and in medicine. They will find a cure, it’s just a matter of time, I resume with confidence.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5biSW4WzX
— Meg, we've already talked about this. You can't save me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAW1UuTKQ6A
He lowers his head but I have time to see his eyes fill with tears.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcrlbdvpJG
— I know... For the moment, but I can keep hope, I smile, wiping away the last tears that linger on my cheeks.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zzRf8sT2d
Mrs. Sutter enters the room at this moment, breaking our moment of complicity.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqY0Pz04vqI
— Megan, are you crying ? She worries, looking at us in turn. And you too ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsvG5seeo8
Jessy and I exchange a look before bursting out laughing under the surprised gaze of Elise.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RbO9IJbq9
— I’m going to go home, I announce, leaving the sofa.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJe3HdBnRF7
— I'll take you back.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hYfax9grq
— No, it is going to be fine. I need to get some fresh air.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAmx8s86Nm
Above all, I need to expel from my body this disorder that I am trying to control, and also to silence my fears about its future. Kindly, he will get me my coat. After putting it on, I turn to him and take him in my arms. For a few more seconds, I want to feel him against me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrX9rjqkWGM
— Do me a favor, hold on to life, I whisper in his ear.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡno0UpoFtmC
Emu, he acquiesced.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76B8o7MSOj
When I leave the warmth of his arms, I see Elise watching us from the kitchen, she wears a little knowing smile, which makes me understand that she knows perfectly well how I feel about her son.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxufLM1xITq
— Good night, see you tomorrow ! I throw before going out.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XReoxsriq
I take a few steps while staring at the dark sky, inside I promise myself to do everything to save Jessy's life.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgq6DnIlSv
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Uuhz2O2Aj
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzXvQ2P3uq
Since Jessy stubbornly refuses to tell me about his virus, during the days that follow, I go around bookstores looking for medical journals. At that time, when AIDS was terrifying the population, I had hoped to learn more, unfortunately the articles were still rare and the possible treatments even more so. Everyone repeats the instructions to follow in order not to be contaminated but none of them informs me about the solutions to overcome this cursed disease.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqYFYsbwWR
— What is all this ? My mother asks me when I return home, my arms full of magazines and books.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0rOItBrMx
— I'm finding out about AIDS, I admit, placing my load on the kitchen table.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7fEop7uiw
— Meg, I know you care about Jessy but... Don't waste your life for him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iDLkRecHy
My mother's words felt like a stab to the heart.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39OWwCAJIb
— That's not what I meant, she continues, realizing my fear.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOr78SElvpE
Hand on her forehead, she shakes her head as I grab my books again, determined to put an end to this discussion.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLYjFzkBwq
— Megan, you are 16 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ29fpsnaYH
— And not Jessy, right ? ! I get angry.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfRoMUL2Xq
My mother looks down.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4R6ESfOuD
— That's not what I said. I just think you're too young to have all these worries. You should be able to enjoy your teenage years completely carefree.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7odamEX1hV
— I would have liked it too, Mom, believe me I would have preferred that Jessy wasn’t sick. But he is and if I can help him in any way I will be there for him. I realize there's not much I can do, however, maybe one of these books will talk about a treatment and I can tell Jessy about it.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONOjBwSy1M
My mother nods weakly.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcVcGe5Pi6
— I just ask you to be careful. Don't get too involved.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRs7Sdu5fMM
— It's already too late for that, I emphasize. If it was Dad who was sick, wouldn't you do what you could to help him ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbHfG3Bx0y
I turn on my heel, ready to leave the room when my mother asks me : 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ4IV5eV5h
— You love him, don’t you ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPG4pmhnvlP
I don't answer. I lock my gaze on my mother's, trying to make her understand all the feelings that are inside me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOKNkUSEUt
— Please don’t tell Jessy about these books, I ask her before going out.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqM1dAUboE
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHmHWqeV6s
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhz6lKwaLnV
— Good evening, Megan, Mrs. Sutter calls me from the kitchen when I arrive at their house.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6aUiYGjCn
— Good evening.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvv2V7Ishn
— Jessy hasn’t come home yet.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHIkkxgKwE
I look up at his mother with worried eyes. It's 8 p.m., classes ended several hours ago.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2nvrQqIiR
— Don’t worry, she reassures me. You know that his doctor advised him to go to the AIDS center, there was a meeting this evening. He had no desire to go, but I think it will do him good to talk to people who are going through the same thing as him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjGYmveBjr
— Did he leave there complaining ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQieu5Fbts
— You know him well enough to know that he complains a lot, she said, smiling.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXOvWXVoMA
— When he is with me, he is rather...370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5663EXkhp
Hearing the front door open, I don't finish my sentence.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qrBoPgGMJ
— Yes, but you are special to him, Elise whispers to me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbN04KqUK20
I remain speechless, wondering what she means by that.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuoC9uRzGo
— Sorry to be late.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzv95k5Qkv
Jessy's face is tense, he seems upset. The evening could be long if he remains in this state of mind.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjrEoGsBfG
— How was it ? His mother immediately questions him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUZiWjLbuA
Jessy glances at me quickly before responding coldly : 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdObbugtC0
— I don't want to talk about it.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmairCFxmb
Mrs. Sutter looks at us in turn before announcing that she is going to watch television in her room so that we can watch the screen in the living room. Jessy walks around the bar and goes to help herself to some fruit juice.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVJuqPgSJL
— You want some ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaK8YNTW8UU
His tone is less cold, but still full of anger that he tries to contain.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfn51tn0XcG
— Yes, thanks.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTt45sRHgrd
He purses his lips before asking me : 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkHUncIINj
— What movie did you bring this evening ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMMyzf9Y5G
The week before, I had brought the filmGhost which caused us both to end up in tears. This time, I chose to take a lighter one, but still with my favorite actor. Proudly, I take the video tape out of my backpack and show it to him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8NcighVog
— Dirty Dancing ! 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3hpRr8tl3
He rolls his eyes, but I sense that he is holding back a smile.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyL9LLvy2sp
— You and your Patrick Swayze ! I know you think he's the most handsome guy in the world, but your obsession with him is starting to turn into an obsession.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohlp9O12XA
I pretend to look shocked, which makes him laugh.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0ApEw7jd1
— It’s true that he’s hot, but in my ranking of the most handsome guys, he only occupies second place.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUky8cSnaHN
— Oh, my God, he whispers with a hint of despair. Which other actor are you planning to pester me with when you're done making me watch all his films ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvLkr9ymIh
Jessy sighs, making a face. His good mood has returned, which makes me happy. I don't want to ask him about the meeting; If he wants to talk to me about it, he will do it alone. I just want to take his mind off things and see him smile. I get up to turn on the VCR while he puts away the bottle of orange juice.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPZsaTS762
— No others, I promise. For me, the hottest guy isn't an actor.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltWz8PFXdg
— Ah good ? Who is it ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR186fSVVcG
He comes to join me on the sofa, frowning.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiue4lfllM
— He’s someone I see every day.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWcODPjhZ6
The movie starts and I shut up. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my friend racking his brain to figure out who I'm talking about.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvaDsNn4Ae
— Your father ? he asks after a few minutes.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfUCpc8tsR
Without taking my eyes off the screen, I shake my head and smile. It amuses me to see him searching.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhLw25sUid
— Someone from high school ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYrMgiNgou
J'acquiesce370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLq3EMBYYra
— Chad ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlou3Qqpxi
A hint of anger and disbelief filters into his voice.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvnrLkDp9V
— No. Jessy, do you want to watch the movie or tell me all the names of the guys at school ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIElykqa4Hg
— Sorry, but no matter how hard I look, I can’t see who…370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DPFkvfpJl
— It's you.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYyn8flDLg
I didn't mean to tell him, it just came out, and now I feel myself blushing as I keep my eyes glued to the television. The words have barely passed my lips before Jessy chokes on swallowing and starts coughing. He gets up to go drink some water.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdA14Pvm2yf
— Well, that makes you feel, I said mockingly, pausing the movie.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtqKliflT1
— You got me, he says from the kitchen.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguvnBWshzl
I turn around on the couch to look at him.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hTiUQWgMz
— It’s the truth, Jessy, I’m not making you walk.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdKvqdtqdD
He comes back to sit next to me on the sofa. His cheeks are red as he places a kiss on my forehead.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxGWPJTcN3
— It’s nice of you to try to cheer me up. I love you.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcG6MzvpuQ
That's not what I'm trying to do, I really mean it, yet my heart immediately races : he adores me. 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSornzlNAFT
— Is it true ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotOYvbfy2H
— Of course. You're my best friend, Meg.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPmhS7jfGf
Oh… Friend ? My heart calms down quickly.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HcJiAWgTU
— Aren’t you in good spirits ? Is it because of the meeting ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCX3ol1KcL
Your mother told me about it, I add in front of his frown.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDIkou8HSx
— Yeah… it was depressing. Hearing all these patients talk about their fears… it brought me back to my own.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KnOg8hlG8
— Did you speak with them ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WHsRPDA5d
— No, I listened to them. It’s strange to arrive in this center where I don’t know anyone and where they invite me to confide.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ljbO6aG1j
— If you want, next time, can I accompany you ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3ilMqlGiU
I suggest, but I already know the answer.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJsRgsB4Zx
— Non ! 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnLcBkDPlv
His tone is harsher than I thought. However, he softens very quickly.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4tWw099mc
— That’s nice, but no. I don't want you to come into this part of my life.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ846Dsn2Q46
— For what ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XrIwf0GdX
Anger reappears in his eyes, he lowers his head.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAKb1gLhlQ
— Because you are too important to me for me to drag you into this world of illness with me.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYdO4jOgbH
— Jessy… 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8W4ftTr8I
— No, Meg. I'm willing to give in when you force my hand to leave this house, but when it comes to AIDS, I won't change my mind, he said firmly, turning his gaze back to the television.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW51KF8gR1n
— OK as you want.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy64zEz8JU3
I sigh as he resumes playing the movie. After a few minutes of silence, he glances at me and whispers : 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpR0ZU49Chi
— Are you mad at me ? 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4O41iuYdD2
I can't help but smile and lean my head on his shoulder like I've gotten used to doing when we watch movies together.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9H5Jrkxd8F
— No, it’s your choice.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6naBzshxx
He places another kiss on my forehead. I whisper to him without taking my eyes off Patrick Swayze : 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dZBSDbFx9
— Me too, I like you.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2paGug6IAn
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRmZW3QoC1
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jpp8yF3Ry
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHdzdDKhrK
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiszpQz7MRE
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiXI4Ml01A
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlUxru0p5K
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