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For long minutes, I stroke Jessy's wet hair, trying to soothe his pain, his fears. When he straightens his face, he seems ashamed to have cried in my arms. Delicately, I wipe away his last tears, surprised that he lets me do it, and smile at him to reassure him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXRdTaJiKF
We set off on our way back in torrential rain, yet we walk peacefully, savoring the fact of being together. I don't care if it rains as long as I'm with him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUsL0hYxed
— Anyway, we're already soaked, I answer Jessy when he asks me if I want to run to get to his house faster. It'll be OK ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX3kLFt6EO
— Yeah, I think so.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTo82jJR3j
— Jessy, please promise me you’ll never let yourself fall into the void like that again. I got the fright of my life.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmCLg63Qtp
Hands in his pockets, he shrugs his shoulders and breathes deeply before telling me : 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3SbOjbOF4
— Promise. Why do you care about me so much ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Tw2vVHuNH
His question makes my heart beat faster. I'm not ready to tell him the feelings he inspires in me. I have to analyze them first and try to find out what he feels. So even though I feel my cheeks turning pink, I answer him evasively.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpktqarjcT
— Why not ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMDTjxW7U4
— When people learn about AIDS, they turn their backs on me. This is why my mother and I came to live here. Even my father-in-law couldn't stand me living under his roof anymore.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvKCfnjiSb
— There are morons everywhere, I whisper. Jessy, I like you. I'm not going to start ignoring you because you have a health problem.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFsf4ofSTI
— Thank you, he murmurs, pursing his lips. I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I didn't mean to be so rude.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8I7POTqX1
His unexpected apology really makes me happy. When Jessy stops telling me off, I see in him the boy I had guessed at first glance : A good guy to whom difficult things happen. I think that's why he always tries to show an angry face, he has suffered so much that he doesn't want people to perceive his fragility.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZc9HoX2rO
— It's forgotten. By the way, I met your mother. She seems very nice.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjdxprvj5r
Despite our slow walk, we already arrive in front of his house.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMilrjRQfdm
— She is. Do you want me to take you home ? I can borrow his car.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoVtsJWKnN
— No, it is going to be fine. I don't want to get the seats soggy, I smile. See you tomorrow ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbctRSMqgVR
I am happy to see him nod with a big smile. And as I walk away, I realize I've never been closer to him than I am tonight.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK6riquTxM
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It's almost 11 p.m. when I get home, completely soaked. My parents are waiting for me, impatient and worried.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2vqXQBVZt
— Finally, here you are, my father roared. Look at you, you're good at wringing ! 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQfUekvHKQ
— Were you with Jessy ? My mother asks in her usual soft voice.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr62NJ4fCzI
I nod, shivering from the cold.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBW29MSiokM
— We spoke with Mrs. Sutter at the meeting. She told us that her son had been missing for hours and that she had no idea where he might be. She was very worried about him, my father told me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpALlHDUHPD
— He went back home. How did the meeting go ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm2quDSyqT
— Start by drying off, we'll tell you later.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9UDkdOzVI
I head into the bathroom where I warm up quickly and quickly put on my pajamas, as well as a warm dressing gown, as I can't wait to see how the evening unfolds. I find my parents in the living room, where everyone, in an armchair, drinks coffee while waiting for me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8v6RFj7AeJ
— So how did it go ? I said, sitting across from them on the couch.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsr6Wtfz518
— Difficult to say, my father grimaces. The principal had asked a doctor to come and answer the parents' questions. It calmed some when he assured their children were not at risk of breathing the same air as Jessy or touching him. But other parents are obtuse and want him to be expelled at all costs. They are simply scared to death, to the point of not understanding that AIDS is not caught like that.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vSGjLazLK
— Mrs. Sutter spoke, saying how much she loves her son and that there is no risk in sharing his life since she has been doing it for a year without problem, my mother added. She is a very dignified and courageous woman. She told us you came to see her.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxqr54N0AC
— Indeed, I was looking for Jessy.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp41qFYlKhT
— Nina told us that you went looking for him after Chad’s visit. Did you find it ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNjvDSrhWT
— Yes, and as far as you know, it’s over between Chad and me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbof0l2IoT
Contrary to what I thought, my father doesn't seem surprised. My mother must have already told him about it. However, I don't like the look they exchange before my mother asks me : 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQ75JARr5H
— Because of Jessy ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVlGErke77
— Yes and no. Jessy and I are friends. But let’s say that meeting him allowed me to open my eyes to Chad and his little world. I realized that, contrary to what I believed, I am not in love with him. I like him a lot but in a friendly way.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zwvltyG5y
Once again my parents exchange this strange look which seems to mean that they are not at the end of their trouble with me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdAjFIxV5f
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The next morning, when I arrived near the school, I saw Jessy waiting outside on the sidewalk.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQ58IYoC4m
— Hi, how are you ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslmrW1RXw3
He puts a hand to his heart.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqSdqAikFq
— Oh, you scared me ! 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3b15VLm0N
I burst out laughing.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzS9BNpzNX
— That’s for the scare you gave me last night ! 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFCfh0V414
— It’s fair game, he smiled.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0QSVDXEOk
He stares at the large white building without taking a step towards it. Since I stayed in his arms the day before for several minutes, he no longer intimidates me as much, and this impression of knowing him for a long time has strengthened. I saw his fragility behind his anger, I saw his despair, but also his strength.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHlQxwaUhI
— Are you planning to come to class today ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUnuIfpwJm
— I don't know. After what happened yesterday...and then this meeting.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltXN9VCUJ1
He huffs and then purses his lips, visibly uncomfortable.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMQuwMDwbM
— Did your mother tell you ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRP9jDdHmv9
— Yes, apparently the parents can't do anything against me, but there is always the possibility that they will contact the academy and file a complaint to have me fired. In fact, I wonder if it wouldn't be better if I gave up... 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfGplUCwxU
— No way ! 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0uNbFZUw4
Jessy looks at me, surprised.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6EZztfXeM
— We'll go together and everything will go well, you'll see.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpdMwH6FKg
— There are looks that are sometimes hard to bear, he admits to me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4hLdN4hfc
However, I notice that he accompanies me towards high school.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpPHURcLT5
— I believe that, unfortunately, you can never please everyone, so give a chance to know you to those who want it and forget the morons.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd243BSsY8
We enter the main hallway, students turn to look at us as I continue talking so that he focuses more on my voice than on the eyes focused on him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLJaGxIxbk
— With time, there will be those who will realize who you really are and they will come to you, as for those who continue to criticize you, act as if they don't exist. They're the idiots, not you.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZj08wB5YjJ
I meet the gaze of a tall guy, named Tyler, who grimaces when he hears me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJ2GPgQhxd
— Yes, complete idiots, I said again in a louder voice.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmA1k6fAd1
Jessy gives me a grateful smile.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqMVb9PoEk
— Oh, it’s getting bad, he murmurs.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQOdMwOJ6Y
I follow his gaze and see Chad striding towards us. He stands in front of Jessy and, after a few seconds of hesitation, offers his hand.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R3enT4YJd
— I'm sorry for yesterday. For the fight…and everything else. I should never have listened to your conversation and above all I should never have repeated his secret. I'm really sorry.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUWL9r1EmF
Jessy hesitates for a few seconds then squeezes his hand, nodding.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2dLzLP4ZD
— Thanks.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCQKA0UcR4
His eyes move from Jessy to me, he doesn't seem to know how to behave around me anymore.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEeMHO67x0
Around us, several students observe the scene. Chad is the most popular boy in school and I suspect that after this reconciling handshake, the attitude of some people will change.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIKyGmmmSP
He taps Jessy on the shoulder and says — See you later and walks away.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MIUyGuOrW
— It’s weird that Chad came to apologize. Did you ask him to do it ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRR9Zt3xGNl
— No, he did it alone, but you know, he’s like that. He is impulsive, but quickly regrets his outbursts... I feel, more than I see, Jessy looking at me in profile.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRXktjmcQz
— What ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoK2X4HTNc
I turn my head towards him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznK05deTc4
— Why did you break up ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9fP3maMKY
— We are too different.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZK6ap23xi0
I shrug my shoulders as if it were obvious.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGABnypDCY2
— And are you okay ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMOIs405WH
I see in his eyes that he really cares about me, it warms my heart.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAXXbHQ09C
— Alright.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlVP9yY7la
A small smile appears at the corners of his lips.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPuHI29Dwm
— I know you don't like Chad very much, but erase that little smug look. (I smile in turn as the bell rings for the start of classes.) We're going to be late, come on.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6A86lk9UNi
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In the days that followed, things calmed down at the school. I can't say that Jessy goes unnoticed, but he is seen less as an outcast, which is already a small victory. At school, I was always the model student, collecting good grades. The super serious girl who has the teachers on her side. When I dated Chad, who is the most popular guy, I became popular and other girls tended to take their cues from me. So, even if there are a few who look away and whisper as she passes, most of the students are starting to accept Jessy. Since the evening on the bridge, we have spent a lot of time together. I prefer to be with him rather than with my pseudo friends : Pearl and especially Amy, who has turned her back on me since Chad and I separated.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FU4B1TiSu
Jessy has become my best friend. I can talk to him about everything without being afraid that he will judge me; however, he always gives me his honest opinion.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXlawPPbEl
Jessy lived surrounded by family and friends before learning of his HIV status, but he told me that when those close to him learned of his illness, everyone turned their backs on him and, overnight, he found himself abandoned. Only his mother remained near him. By moving to Millisky where Mrs. Sutter found a job as a secretary in a bank, she hoped that her son would finally be able to return to a normal life.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAq4LHEL9oA
The more I get to know him and the less I want this solitary life for him, it's like a kind of mission that I have set for myself. I may not be able to save him, but I can make him smile again. Also, I force him to accompany me to the cinema, to the theater, to fast food. Jessy complains, protests, sometimes drags his feet, but in the end, I always make him give in.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkDhoZjDVi
— You've lived locked up enough like that ! » is my key phrase to convince him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydpxSKnyb5
He then rolls his eyes, huffing in exasperation while his cross— shaped earring swings to the rhythm of his breathing. Finally, he looks at me with a little smile which alone symbolizes my victory.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBhouF9pgq
I am myself with him. We have a lot of tastes in common, we laugh at the same jokes, we talk about everything and nothing without ever getting tired of it. And when I'm not with him, he haunts my mind. He is the first person I think of in the morning when I wake up and the last in the evening before I go to sleep. In a few weeks, it has invaded my life and I hope more than anything that it continues as long as possible.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfu7vJ9epC
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— Hello Mrs. Sutter, are you well ? I say happily as I enter the living room, accompanied by Jessy.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFF9xAT0eQF
Over the past few weeks, I've been spending so much time at the Sutters' that it feels like my second home. I really like Jessy's mother. Just by his look, we perceive his kindness and his strength. I am always welcome at their home and even though Jessy can come to my house whenever he wants, I understand that he is more comfortable in his environment.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0izxAAfFcI
— Good Meg and you ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzf9M4w3PSb
— I’m fine.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUfd5mpAdT
Elise gets up while Jessy goes to turn on the television.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJmoi5aBGX
— What movie are you going to watch ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6KpFp1tqZ
— Ghost ! With a big smile, I show the video tape I brought, asking him : Are you staying to watch it with us ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaxGcZYBmi
— Unfortunately, I can't. I have not finished completing a loan application for a client. I’m going to go lock myself in my room with this file, she sighs.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kbaMYAa9Y
— Good luck, Mrs Sutter. 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJD0ceAFDP
She takes a few steps away before turning back to me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsviyUaVwrN
— Meg, for the hundredth time, call me Elise.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYk9lkMIs02
— I'll try, I promise.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfukDLnQYI
His mother leaves the room, leaving us alone.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX03XExCSIo
— Pop corn ? Jessy asks me. I only have salty, I don't like sweet.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52DtlvXe83
— That suits me very well.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fyJZfsg98
Once the popcorn is in a large bowl, we sit on the sofa in front of the television. Almost two hours later, I overcame my fear that he would send me away for daring to lean my head on Jessy's shoulder. To my great relief, he just smiled as he continued to watch the film. Now that it is ending, I can no longer contain my emotion and shed many tears.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMG2iD7mlT7
— Don’t make fun, I said, seeing him laugh discreetly.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfdtJWReJm
I stand up and stretch before wiping my eyes.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4s1J9abZN5
— Patrick Swayze is too sexy, I comment.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcakXwUsIka
— Demi Moore is not to be outdone, he sighs, lowering his head.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3la8DWkCMp
He suddenly seems sad, which worries me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MARO17f2Q
— Isn't that okay ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsEUnLmbuw
— Yes, it’s just that… Do you believe that the afterlife exists ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3m6BCHmAJ
Still sitting on the couch, I turn to him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71V9Ubf0WM
— I think yes. However, I don't know if it's like in this movie.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXAo5iTOkK
He adopts the same position as me, we find ourselves face to face.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDWh9nSocC
— If that’s the case, I’ll make sure to let you know when I get there.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKuLLqfFG8
I wasn't expecting this response which took me completely by surprise. New uncontrollable tears flood my face. Reality suddenly reminds me. When I am with Jessy, I forget his illness because he is him, the boy I love with all my heart even if he knows nothing about my feelings. But there, faced with the virus, I find myself facing its imminent death. It’s a horrible thing that I try not to think about, as if that could prevent it from happening. I know this is stupid and despite all my efforts, AIDS still remains in the back of my mind. But hearing Jessy talk about his departure is upsetting. I would love to tell him that I am in love with him and that he has no right to leave me, ever. However, this is one of the subjects that I cannot discuss with him as I am sure that he would send me away again. He needs support, so I'm content to be his friend, secretly hoping that one day he'll realize that I mean more to him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BVna7txZB
— What do you have ? He is surprised.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3eLrGJDKw
— I don't want you to die Jessy ! 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1mXqGvvkl
I burst into tears as I threw myself on his neck. Immediately, he hugs me back.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHAZRdWkap
— Don’t cry, he whispers in my ear. I don't like seeing you sad.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmZrAQ9U9H
His heart beating wildly against my chest reminds me that he is still very much alive and that as long as that is the case, we must not lose hope.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTGLXYEVsz
Staring at him, I detach myself from him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7DcIRI73A
— You're going to fight to stay alive, aren't you ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQ4xETWCpP
He strokes a lock of my hair that falls to the side of his face while observing me attentively. He seems to weigh the weight of his words.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahFMl6zC7O
Finally, he nods in agreement.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hfOB8U5H1
— I have confidence in the future and in medicine. They will find a cure, it’s just a matter of time, I resume with confidence.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NZ3p1s2tb
— Meg, we've already talked about this. You can't save me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3jPIOl2GF
He lowers his head but I have time to see his eyes fill with tears.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfINJc80Bbv
— I know... For the moment, but I can keep hope, I smile, wiping away the last tears that linger on my cheeks.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1kjdWpACk
Mrs. Sutter enters the room at this moment, breaking our moment of complicity.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaR1cNxvOMX
— Megan, are you crying ? She worries, looking at us in turn. And you too ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OsEW6VrGh
Jessy and I exchange a look before bursting out laughing under the surprised gaze of Elise.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnQCDEGG0c
— I’m going to go home, I announce, leaving the sofa.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmPEI2a5ki
— I'll take you back.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxJD7SUGTT
— No, it is going to be fine. I need to get some fresh air.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HENSDORTw
Above all, I need to expel from my body this disorder that I am trying to control, and also to silence my fears about its future. Kindly, he will get me my coat. After putting it on, I turn to him and take him in my arms. For a few more seconds, I want to feel him against me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQ7IgAj2ev
— Do me a favor, hold on to life, I whisper in his ear.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeL4vczztN
Emu, he acquiesced.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgydwzWiivR
When I leave the warmth of his arms, I see Elise watching us from the kitchen, she wears a little knowing smile, which makes me understand that she knows perfectly well how I feel about her son.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu70bMFq0u3
— Good night, see you tomorrow ! I throw before going out.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfs7ws35DBJ
I take a few steps while staring at the dark sky, inside I promise myself to do everything to save Jessy's life.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo7QEAMbLz
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Since Jessy stubbornly refuses to tell me about his virus, during the days that follow, I go around bookstores looking for medical journals. At that time, when AIDS was terrifying the population, I had hoped to learn more, unfortunately the articles were still rare and the possible treatments even more so. Everyone repeats the instructions to follow in order not to be contaminated but none of them informs me about the solutions to overcome this cursed disease.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgCTenqGWa
— What is all this ? My mother asks me when I return home, my arms full of magazines and books.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RHbD1y870
— I'm finding out about AIDS, I admit, placing my load on the kitchen table.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqspY5rBy6k
— Meg, I know you care about Jessy but... Don't waste your life for him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGjwNgCFwp
My mother's words felt like a stab to the heart.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3IIZEc00F
— That's not what I meant, she continues, realizing my fear.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrCTzM0lCy
Hand on her forehead, she shakes her head as I grab my books again, determined to put an end to this discussion.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGV5p5zNSU
— Megan, you are 16 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FURixYN0g
— And not Jessy, right ? ! I get angry.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNy82Xgmj1B
My mother looks down.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGc4CcGZmy4
— That's not what I said. I just think you're too young to have all these worries. You should be able to enjoy your teenage years completely carefree.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5hZjgS7Uy
— I would have liked it too, Mom, believe me I would have preferred that Jessy wasn’t sick. But he is and if I can help him in any way I will be there for him. I realize there's not much I can do, however, maybe one of these books will talk about a treatment and I can tell Jessy about it.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnh4CVIxKVU
My mother nods weakly.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8jIwSMgnp
— I just ask you to be careful. Don't get too involved.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4x8iFMnHU
— It's already too late for that, I emphasize. If it was Dad who was sick, wouldn't you do what you could to help him ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSeZvCTZiD
I turn on my heel, ready to leave the room when my mother asks me : 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDvyCBfMMa
— You love him, don’t you ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtpPi8SvqZ
I don't answer. I lock my gaze on my mother's, trying to make her understand all the feelings that are inside me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeVQuFSWhL
— Please don’t tell Jessy about these books, I ask her before going out.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdF2zvD3tx
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBm49njgOd
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxbVR1t6QY
— Good evening, Megan, Mrs. Sutter calls me from the kitchen when I arrive at their house.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FYfkkyUSu
— Good evening.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4szoMjQbf8
— Jessy hasn’t come home yet.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNIFqycbfO
I look up at his mother with worried eyes. It's 8 p.m., classes ended several hours ago.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtIkvEh4Pb
— Don’t worry, she reassures me. You know that his doctor advised him to go to the AIDS center, there was a meeting this evening. He had no desire to go, but I think it will do him good to talk to people who are going through the same thing as him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONAnxHYOSi
— Did he leave there complaining ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwwgTsDpxp
— You know him well enough to know that he complains a lot, she said, smiling.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYqZ5Cc0St
— When he is with me, he is rather...501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxrKvQQOm0
Hearing the front door open, I don't finish my sentence.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWTLaCKopt
— Yes, but you are special to him, Elise whispers to me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig4xJq3kEo
I remain speechless, wondering what she means by that.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wZaqzTG03
— Sorry to be late.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBhbroomGp
Jessy's face is tense, he seems upset. The evening could be long if he remains in this state of mind.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLam4o9uQD
— How was it ? His mother immediately questions him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7M0qMTDhbC
Jessy glances at me quickly before responding coldly : 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvoWHXa9OB
— I don't want to talk about it.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdKFcxcmNn
Mrs. Sutter looks at us in turn before announcing that she is going to watch television in her room so that we can watch the screen in the living room. Jessy walks around the bar and goes to help herself to some fruit juice.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97kmhnwgq9
— You want some ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj43rCC2wes
His tone is less cold, but still full of anger that he tries to contain.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nLnPfyD4D
— Yes, thanks.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZf0qJjsuLb
He purses his lips before asking me : 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLH2UiWiV2Q
— What movie did you bring this evening ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNnsQy7cuW
The week before, I had brought the filmGhost which caused us both to end up in tears. This time, I chose to take a lighter one, but still with my favorite actor. Proudly, I take the video tape out of my backpack and show it to him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgkhjV6ohq
— Dirty Dancing ! 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnco9HqWrUl
He rolls his eyes, but I sense that he is holding back a smile.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0vm3pazYR
— You and your Patrick Swayze ! I know you think he's the most handsome guy in the world, but your obsession with him is starting to turn into an obsession.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJR50Nn8cZ
I pretend to look shocked, which makes him laugh.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqRIN9YIAe
— It’s true that he’s hot, but in my ranking of the most handsome guys, he only occupies second place.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHra4fY1Gv
— Oh, my God, he whispers with a hint of despair. Which other actor are you planning to pester me with when you're done making me watch all his films ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cRSC93UdK
Jessy sighs, making a face. His good mood has returned, which makes me happy. I don't want to ask him about the meeting; If he wants to talk to me about it, he will do it alone. I just want to take his mind off things and see him smile. I get up to turn on the VCR while he puts away the bottle of orange juice.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5n5Yonb6t
— No others, I promise. For me, the hottest guy isn't an actor.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAh1RR1Lgid
— Ah good ? Who is it ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7lT72gPKp
He comes to join me on the sofa, frowning.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHn3Anbrker
— He’s someone I see every day.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZfsXZyisq
The movie starts and I shut up. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my friend racking his brain to figure out who I'm talking about.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlMScUS2Oj
— Your father ? he asks after a few minutes.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CSujmc51v
Without taking my eyes off the screen, I shake my head and smile. It amuses me to see him searching.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcD4UspnWjt
— Someone from high school ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3V2KI43LpI
J'acquiesce501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtYnfHhM6P
— Chad ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBLT8jQReV
A hint of anger and disbelief filters into his voice.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstZl2fWQZy
— No. Jessy, do you want to watch the movie or tell me all the names of the guys at school ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4AwS1TY8O
— Sorry, but no matter how hard I look, I can’t see who…501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgz5zgO5EY
— It's you.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4vz8WOa22
I didn't mean to tell him, it just came out, and now I feel myself blushing as I keep my eyes glued to the television. The words have barely passed my lips before Jessy chokes on swallowing and starts coughing. He gets up to go drink some water.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsEsj2xNTv
— Well, that makes you feel, I said mockingly, pausing the movie.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qzoTgOkKK
— You got me, he says from the kitchen.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaCWMLwIig
I turn around on the couch to look at him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Z8gy6qvhk
— It’s the truth, Jessy, I’m not making you walk.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vRFmtFy3m
He comes back to sit next to me on the sofa. His cheeks are red as he places a kiss on my forehead.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgh3iymcHeX
— It’s nice of you to try to cheer me up. I love you.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdHfL1RIBM
That's not what I'm trying to do, I really mean it, yet my heart immediately races : he adores me. 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyezMpLXRiv
— Is it true ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8nDXC2jDC
— Of course. You're my best friend, Meg.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIvlBQPNKu
Oh… Friend ? My heart calms down quickly.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUmvQhCGPH
— Aren’t you in good spirits ? Is it because of the meeting ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOBc2Sju72
Your mother told me about it, I add in front of his frown.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00RPq4bw3F
— Yeah… it was depressing. Hearing all these patients talk about their fears… it brought me back to my own.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmpKSBVAmZ
— Did you speak with them ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4qk5iflZx
— No, I listened to them. It’s strange to arrive in this center where I don’t know anyone and where they invite me to confide.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvYXmHCOmA
— If you want, next time, can I accompany you ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzN2coAvGs
I suggest, but I already know the answer.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGsXRlEowi
— Non ! 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQsMetNEU8
His tone is harsher than I thought. However, he softens very quickly.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJOOIm57sx
— That’s nice, but no. I don't want you to come into this part of my life.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSWQKcarz7
— For what ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyXZsK9uYX
Anger reappears in his eyes, he lowers his head.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOQI8bh6eM
— Because you are too important to me for me to drag you into this world of illness with me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKgl4Mubxo
— Jessy… 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZHnIbJHCT
— No, Meg. I'm willing to give in when you force my hand to leave this house, but when it comes to AIDS, I won't change my mind, he said firmly, turning his gaze back to the television.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBQ2Oldcj4
— OK as you want.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUGQxE2whH
I sigh as he resumes playing the movie. After a few minutes of silence, he glances at me and whispers : 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JredEhmdl
— Are you mad at me ? 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1pTzlRulg
I can't help but smile and lean my head on his shoulder like I've gotten used to doing when we watch movies together.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmYfJxUt88
— No, it’s your choice.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTyzMKWuGv
He places another kiss on my forehead. I whisper to him without taking my eyes off Patrick Swayze : 501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyi6ZlImw3w
— Me too, I like you.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Po1aetYtO
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3JK7Qu9L0
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjytC8f5qRn
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwHZ40fSRx
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaeQbPZoPh
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4hcv8rWnU
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdew47HfLU
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