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For long minutes, I stroke Jessy's wet hair, trying to soothe his pain, his fears. When he straightens his face, he seems ashamed to have cried in my arms. Delicately, I wipe away his last tears, surprised that he lets me do it, and smile at him to reassure him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1t6Myus8r
We set off on our way back in torrential rain, yet we walk peacefully, savoring the fact of being together. I don't care if it rains as long as I'm with him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oj7Kua5kb
— Anyway, we're already soaked, I answer Jessy when he asks me if I want to run to get to his house faster. It'll be OK ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6ij4Xo6bt
— Yeah, I think so.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJ3nRTYBtT
— Jessy, please promise me you’ll never let yourself fall into the void like that again. I got the fright of my life.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkPSRr2oSR
Hands in his pockets, he shrugs his shoulders and breathes deeply before telling me : 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYETfRgPjAa
— Promise. Why do you care about me so much ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvU3SsON9l
His question makes my heart beat faster. I'm not ready to tell him the feelings he inspires in me. I have to analyze them first and try to find out what he feels. So even though I feel my cheeks turning pink, I answer him evasively.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7WjPNNfet
— Why not ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrctLi2tDIh
— When people learn about AIDS, they turn their backs on me. This is why my mother and I came to live here. Even my father-in-law couldn't stand me living under his roof anymore.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRlNB4F1ZA
— There are morons everywhere, I whisper. Jessy, I like you. I'm not going to start ignoring you because you have a health problem.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsylBjEH5Xe
— Thank you, he murmurs, pursing his lips. I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I didn't mean to be so rude.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0EE3xJpQh
His unexpected apology really makes me happy. When Jessy stops telling me off, I see in him the boy I had guessed at first glance : A good guy to whom difficult things happen. I think that's why he always tries to show an angry face, he has suffered so much that he doesn't want people to perceive his fragility.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhWcrG5yAO
— It's forgotten. By the way, I met your mother. She seems very nice.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIlSTX4LdQ
Despite our slow walk, we already arrive in front of his house.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzFGElKGSp
— She is. Do you want me to take you home ? I can borrow his car.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAa0VT5cik
— No, it is going to be fine. I don't want to get the seats soggy, I smile. See you tomorrow ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzM2jzFUIGK
I am happy to see him nod with a big smile. And as I walk away, I realize I've never been closer to him than I am tonight.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftTFhJwUh2
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It's almost 11 p.m. when I get home, completely soaked. My parents are waiting for me, impatient and worried.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ195uxKz0JN
— Finally, here you are, my father roared. Look at you, you're good at wringing ! 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08n9Qn7hpI
— Were you with Jessy ? My mother asks in her usual soft voice.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkR1V4LuY5f
I nod, shivering from the cold.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc83UvLSkbQ
— We spoke with Mrs. Sutter at the meeting. She told us that her son had been missing for hours and that she had no idea where he might be. She was very worried about him, my father told me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0b7chy4JNn
— He went back home. How did the meeting go ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAtdoNPAs4
— Start by drying off, we'll tell you later.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDuzD7wmrm
I head into the bathroom where I warm up quickly and quickly put on my pajamas, as well as a warm dressing gown, as I can't wait to see how the evening unfolds. I find my parents in the living room, where everyone, in an armchair, drinks coffee while waiting for me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZDheZNkV9
— So how did it go ? I said, sitting across from them on the couch.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWitD7QWuM
— Difficult to say, my father grimaces. The principal had asked a doctor to come and answer the parents' questions. It calmed some when he assured their children were not at risk of breathing the same air as Jessy or touching him. But other parents are obtuse and want him to be expelled at all costs. They are simply scared to death, to the point of not understanding that AIDS is not caught like that.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2OQZ59lyB
— Mrs. Sutter spoke, saying how much she loves her son and that there is no risk in sharing his life since she has been doing it for a year without problem, my mother added. She is a very dignified and courageous woman. She told us you came to see her.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAM3KEz1ima
— Indeed, I was looking for Jessy.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEK4Ls5HEM
— Nina told us that you went looking for him after Chad’s visit. Did you find it ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvs5aBHTnQ
— Yes, and as far as you know, it’s over between Chad and me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCpAkpld1I
Contrary to what I thought, my father doesn't seem surprised. My mother must have already told him about it. However, I don't like the look they exchange before my mother asks me : 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6t2t91KLG
— Because of Jessy ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAcwngtYPf
— Yes and no. Jessy and I are friends. But let’s say that meeting him allowed me to open my eyes to Chad and his little world. I realized that, contrary to what I believed, I am not in love with him. I like him a lot but in a friendly way.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqv77pUDRe
Once again my parents exchange this strange look which seems to mean that they are not at the end of their trouble with me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQytHReOSNN
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The next morning, when I arrived near the school, I saw Jessy waiting outside on the sidewalk.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBLFEJHsRa
— Hi, how are you ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUdxpLGQtu
He puts a hand to his heart.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTupkjI32e
— Oh, you scared me ! 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7TGqTbZhD
I burst out laughing.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGf0vRYk7h
— That’s for the scare you gave me last night ! 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuRI6oZZvs
— It’s fair game, he smiled.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLK0Vrfv9g
He stares at the large white building without taking a step towards it. Since I stayed in his arms the day before for several minutes, he no longer intimidates me as much, and this impression of knowing him for a long time has strengthened. I saw his fragility behind his anger, I saw his despair, but also his strength.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliWUzwG8kE
— Are you planning to come to class today ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9jJVb5AE5
— I don't know. After what happened yesterday...and then this meeting.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fYtGHGC1z
He huffs and then purses his lips, visibly uncomfortable.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTaVBO9Kxt
— Did your mother tell you ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GONflMqmP
— Yes, apparently the parents can't do anything against me, but there is always the possibility that they will contact the academy and file a complaint to have me fired. In fact, I wonder if it wouldn't be better if I gave up... 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡey5UmYgnxq
— No way ! 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSthzjz5aoj
Jessy looks at me, surprised.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsXhVhhiwU
— We'll go together and everything will go well, you'll see.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9YUAmMykq
— There are looks that are sometimes hard to bear, he admits to me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lBk8XRJdp
However, I notice that he accompanies me towards high school.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11hVJadEt6
— I believe that, unfortunately, you can never please everyone, so give a chance to know you to those who want it and forget the morons.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8TltBAMs4
We enter the main hallway, students turn to look at us as I continue talking so that he focuses more on my voice than on the eyes focused on him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw04Q6WDDbo
— With time, there will be those who will realize who you really are and they will come to you, as for those who continue to criticize you, act as if they don't exist. They're the idiots, not you.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoghx7cFtq9
I meet the gaze of a tall guy, named Tyler, who grimaces when he hears me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDyu5PiTz3
— Yes, complete idiots, I said again in a louder voice.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUrCMHKrT0
Jessy gives me a grateful smile.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91efAqO8EL
— Oh, it’s getting bad, he murmurs.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLQFErzDnO
I follow his gaze and see Chad striding towards us. He stands in front of Jessy and, after a few seconds of hesitation, offers his hand.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuw4BTybg6
— I'm sorry for yesterday. For the fight…and everything else. I should never have listened to your conversation and above all I should never have repeated his secret. I'm really sorry.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXrHxGzTiY
Jessy hesitates for a few seconds then squeezes his hand, nodding.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxvUb54fpl
— Thanks.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGgARGUTDN
His eyes move from Jessy to me, he doesn't seem to know how to behave around me anymore.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2n8tIKSFmK
Around us, several students observe the scene. Chad is the most popular boy in school and I suspect that after this reconciling handshake, the attitude of some people will change.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGle3VPX5o0
He taps Jessy on the shoulder and says — See you later and walks away.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdFg6FuftI
— It’s weird that Chad came to apologize. Did you ask him to do it ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG1ZVVbsqu
— No, he did it alone, but you know, he’s like that. He is impulsive, but quickly regrets his outbursts... I feel, more than I see, Jessy looking at me in profile.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmT1HDLGfq
— What ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8GPD6OdQA
I turn my head towards him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBEN7Jz6y9
— Why did you break up ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaBnrwOQCo
— We are too different.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2z0tMSShI2
I shrug my shoulders as if it were obvious.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3sFlg9Ql2
— And are you okay ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7i8HgsTlV
I see in his eyes that he really cares about me, it warms my heart.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHcrDxJNy7
— Alright.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKFXVMdIia
A small smile appears at the corners of his lips.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZ4VzDWx2C
— I know you don't like Chad very much, but erase that little smug look. (I smile in turn as the bell rings for the start of classes.) We're going to be late, come on.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfXFViIVdt
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In the days that followed, things calmed down at the school. I can't say that Jessy goes unnoticed, but he is seen less as an outcast, which is already a small victory. At school, I was always the model student, collecting good grades. The super serious girl who has the teachers on her side. When I dated Chad, who is the most popular guy, I became popular and other girls tended to take their cues from me. So, even if there are a few who look away and whisper as she passes, most of the students are starting to accept Jessy. Since the evening on the bridge, we have spent a lot of time together. I prefer to be with him rather than with my pseudo friends : Pearl and especially Amy, who has turned her back on me since Chad and I separated.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenLShaXRqS
Jessy has become my best friend. I can talk to him about everything without being afraid that he will judge me; however, he always gives me his honest opinion.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HDo8h4fRY
Jessy lived surrounded by family and friends before learning of his HIV status, but he told me that when those close to him learned of his illness, everyone turned their backs on him and, overnight, he found himself abandoned. Only his mother remained near him. By moving to Millisky where Mrs. Sutter found a job as a secretary in a bank, she hoped that her son would finally be able to return to a normal life.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDx4pABUhH
The more I get to know him and the less I want this solitary life for him, it's like a kind of mission that I have set for myself. I may not be able to save him, but I can make him smile again. Also, I force him to accompany me to the cinema, to the theater, to fast food. Jessy complains, protests, sometimes drags his feet, but in the end, I always make him give in.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGZMoc0Jmn
— You've lived locked up enough like that ! » is my key phrase to convince him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ563KDOaPmF
He then rolls his eyes, huffing in exasperation while his cross— shaped earring swings to the rhythm of his breathing. Finally, he looks at me with a little smile which alone symbolizes my victory.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Go3SMLOEg
I am myself with him. We have a lot of tastes in common, we laugh at the same jokes, we talk about everything and nothing without ever getting tired of it. And when I'm not with him, he haunts my mind. He is the first person I think of in the morning when I wake up and the last in the evening before I go to sleep. In a few weeks, it has invaded my life and I hope more than anything that it continues as long as possible.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd4g449uCY
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— Hello Mrs. Sutter, are you well ? I say happily as I enter the living room, accompanied by Jessy.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYoJr73yJl
Over the past few weeks, I've been spending so much time at the Sutters' that it feels like my second home. I really like Jessy's mother. Just by his look, we perceive his kindness and his strength. I am always welcome at their home and even though Jessy can come to my house whenever he wants, I understand that he is more comfortable in his environment.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMc69bcKlmQ
— Good Meg and you ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jmttCJyGx
— I’m fine.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJBnoJc7ur
Elise gets up while Jessy goes to turn on the television.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMs8cjnne1
— What movie are you going to watch ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHeAoRN8cM
— Ghost ! With a big smile, I show the video tape I brought, asking him : Are you staying to watch it with us ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFcLQZqFqa
— Unfortunately, I can't. I have not finished completing a loan application for a client. I’m going to go lock myself in my room with this file, she sighs.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo9S9Jgq0B
— Good luck, Mrs Sutter. 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHp41iXSQC
She takes a few steps away before turning back to me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkuxySWJtY
— Meg, for the hundredth time, call me Elise.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnImrwfIez
— I'll try, I promise.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0eZEWNMuI
His mother leaves the room, leaving us alone.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vb0lV09Nx
— Pop corn ? Jessy asks me. I only have salty, I don't like sweet.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYgHNaNLHl
— That suits me very well.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IUUfGgSDN
Once the popcorn is in a large bowl, we sit on the sofa in front of the television. Almost two hours later, I overcame my fear that he would send me away for daring to lean my head on Jessy's shoulder. To my great relief, he just smiled as he continued to watch the film. Now that it is ending, I can no longer contain my emotion and shed many tears.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OWbWPc48Q
— Don’t make fun, I said, seeing him laugh discreetly.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNvsoFJn65
I stand up and stretch before wiping my eyes.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoikgsu4V3O
— Patrick Swayze is too sexy, I comment.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosF6AsSYl8
— Demi Moore is not to be outdone, he sighs, lowering his head.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMLfZ40XLo
He suddenly seems sad, which worries me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesfsELwcuq
— Isn't that okay ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7q0Qg9SJs2
— Yes, it’s just that… Do you believe that the afterlife exists ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMbLdttdqF
Still sitting on the couch, I turn to him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvp6xf1wdUa
— I think yes. However, I don't know if it's like in this movie.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqMgPVWfOX
He adopts the same position as me, we find ourselves face to face.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvI1HpUL9XD
— If that’s the case, I’ll make sure to let you know when I get there.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiZEJMh0Gj
I wasn't expecting this response which took me completely by surprise. New uncontrollable tears flood my face. Reality suddenly reminds me. When I am with Jessy, I forget his illness because he is him, the boy I love with all my heart even if he knows nothing about my feelings. But there, faced with the virus, I find myself facing its imminent death. It’s a horrible thing that I try not to think about, as if that could prevent it from happening. I know this is stupid and despite all my efforts, AIDS still remains in the back of my mind. But hearing Jessy talk about his departure is upsetting. I would love to tell him that I am in love with him and that he has no right to leave me, ever. However, this is one of the subjects that I cannot discuss with him as I am sure that he would send me away again. He needs support, so I'm content to be his friend, secretly hoping that one day he'll realize that I mean more to him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTclS6raKAn
— What do you have ? He is surprised.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpThFhEVSgp
— I don't want you to die Jessy ! 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLfl4NEjRO
I burst into tears as I threw myself on his neck. Immediately, he hugs me back.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZ9Qazfo56
— Don’t cry, he whispers in my ear. I don't like seeing you sad.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xu2eF7RND
His heart beating wildly against my chest reminds me that he is still very much alive and that as long as that is the case, we must not lose hope.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXtF80lLhp
Staring at him, I detach myself from him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUiZ9yPo5W
— You're going to fight to stay alive, aren't you ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsq23nbIGhq
He strokes a lock of my hair that falls to the side of his face while observing me attentively. He seems to weigh the weight of his words.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoEHQ6y1Fm
Finally, he nods in agreement.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHL9e0II3yb
— I have confidence in the future and in medicine. They will find a cure, it’s just a matter of time, I resume with confidence.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8k4oHH8pN
— Meg, we've already talked about this. You can't save me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsx2yKApPAg
He lowers his head but I have time to see his eyes fill with tears.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNOZkOTuhL
— I know... For the moment, but I can keep hope, I smile, wiping away the last tears that linger on my cheeks.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3BR3oP2Au
Mrs. Sutter enters the room at this moment, breaking our moment of complicity.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOs0cUP7oY
— Megan, are you crying ? She worries, looking at us in turn. And you too ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56AcKSp5UZ
Jessy and I exchange a look before bursting out laughing under the surprised gaze of Elise.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3ZOYXWyJK
— I’m going to go home, I announce, leaving the sofa.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoO4rTBPWy
— I'll take you back.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nEA1eNFds
— No, it is going to be fine. I need to get some fresh air.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglJ4D15NQI
Above all, I need to expel from my body this disorder that I am trying to control, and also to silence my fears about its future. Kindly, he will get me my coat. After putting it on, I turn to him and take him in my arms. For a few more seconds, I want to feel him against me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6fUh2BlvJ
— Do me a favor, hold on to life, I whisper in his ear.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnC198rmFC7
Emu, he acquiesced.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz92VelOLq
When I leave the warmth of his arms, I see Elise watching us from the kitchen, she wears a little knowing smile, which makes me understand that she knows perfectly well how I feel about her son.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnp0cQz6Dv
— Good night, see you tomorrow ! I throw before going out.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOTzyUENj1
I take a few steps while staring at the dark sky, inside I promise myself to do everything to save Jessy's life.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMMeWOIWTh
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Since Jessy stubbornly refuses to tell me about his virus, during the days that follow, I go around bookstores looking for medical journals. At that time, when AIDS was terrifying the population, I had hoped to learn more, unfortunately the articles were still rare and the possible treatments even more so. Everyone repeats the instructions to follow in order not to be contaminated but none of them informs me about the solutions to overcome this cursed disease.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl50f6AJS6
— What is all this ? My mother asks me when I return home, my arms full of magazines and books.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡING8Vv1s01
— I'm finding out about AIDS, I admit, placing my load on the kitchen table.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxp9nEx4vM
— Meg, I know you care about Jessy but... Don't waste your life for him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PyuU6eyXZ
My mother's words felt like a stab to the heart.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsJp6ZiEUT
— That's not what I meant, she continues, realizing my fear.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdDqH7XCRx
Hand on her forehead, she shakes her head as I grab my books again, determined to put an end to this discussion.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvL8rtm2duI
— Megan, you are 16 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6uFNRTHjb
— And not Jessy, right ? ! I get angry.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOX3M3kEYrB
My mother looks down.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuL2e3PBeNz
— That's not what I said. I just think you're too young to have all these worries. You should be able to enjoy your teenage years completely carefree.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpq0VyF3Q8P
— I would have liked it too, Mom, believe me I would have preferred that Jessy wasn’t sick. But he is and if I can help him in any way I will be there for him. I realize there's not much I can do, however, maybe one of these books will talk about a treatment and I can tell Jessy about it.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHmskrLUmo
My mother nods weakly.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZph5UxYTz
— I just ask you to be careful. Don't get too involved.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvMiGaSOb0
— It's already too late for that, I emphasize. If it was Dad who was sick, wouldn't you do what you could to help him ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUjC1xb5xn
I turn on my heel, ready to leave the room when my mother asks me : 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLt5KAjgQqP
— You love him, don’t you ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAsvOGCAbR
I don't answer. I lock my gaze on my mother's, trying to make her understand all the feelings that are inside me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKH2zp1R4K
— Please don’t tell Jessy about these books, I ask her before going out.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhYZAXE6bz
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbjaOQzr3X
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu59v6tFfiV
— Good evening, Megan, Mrs. Sutter calls me from the kitchen when I arrive at their house.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgAolpS0I8
— Good evening.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvRTXFSh4G
— Jessy hasn’t come home yet.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQdZoElLd0
I look up at his mother with worried eyes. It's 8 p.m., classes ended several hours ago.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzFfHtVFI4
— Don’t worry, she reassures me. You know that his doctor advised him to go to the AIDS center, there was a meeting this evening. He had no desire to go, but I think it will do him good to talk to people who are going through the same thing as him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpttXC5pdie
— Did he leave there complaining ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrtGNxPxGJ
— You know him well enough to know that he complains a lot, she said, smiling.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUDF4fBz3D
— When he is with me, he is rather...504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGy8SROeKP2
Hearing the front door open, I don't finish my sentence.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhABgduIMQB
— Yes, but you are special to him, Elise whispers to me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPU8iYnMIF
I remain speechless, wondering what she means by that.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhO6WWvXwRr
— Sorry to be late.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHyFmQPCKt
Jessy's face is tense, he seems upset. The evening could be long if he remains in this state of mind.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCi1fuGgki
— How was it ? His mother immediately questions him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxP3UGdyLxK
Jessy glances at me quickly before responding coldly : 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprJ0gXcc3f
— I don't want to talk about it.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEz4K391wnl
Mrs. Sutter looks at us in turn before announcing that she is going to watch television in her room so that we can watch the screen in the living room. Jessy walks around the bar and goes to help herself to some fruit juice.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IRbagfG4s
— You want some ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DPZTbxjVZ
His tone is less cold, but still full of anger that he tries to contain.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1mUIOTKjh
— Yes, thanks.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvsvy4ss5A
He purses his lips before asking me : 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaKflLs0CO
— What movie did you bring this evening ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbjFpEHqlK
The week before, I had brought the filmGhost which caused us both to end up in tears. This time, I chose to take a lighter one, but still with my favorite actor. Proudly, I take the video tape out of my backpack and show it to him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZPTlFcV4O
— Dirty Dancing ! 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUebM6z4bCR
He rolls his eyes, but I sense that he is holding back a smile.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcwqTKEm3P
— You and your Patrick Swayze ! I know you think he's the most handsome guy in the world, but your obsession with him is starting to turn into an obsession.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2VF8nbVDx
I pretend to look shocked, which makes him laugh.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePRLcCOa2S
— It’s true that he’s hot, but in my ranking of the most handsome guys, he only occupies second place.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOrPIRjOdE
— Oh, my God, he whispers with a hint of despair. Which other actor are you planning to pester me with when you're done making me watch all his films ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotxyOuWAwA
Jessy sighs, making a face. His good mood has returned, which makes me happy. I don't want to ask him about the meeting; If he wants to talk to me about it, he will do it alone. I just want to take his mind off things and see him smile. I get up to turn on the VCR while he puts away the bottle of orange juice.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62A0S4NWct
— No others, I promise. For me, the hottest guy isn't an actor.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOl2SO8PXx
— Ah good ? Who is it ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdL9H9Z8De8
He comes to join me on the sofa, frowning.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRfej0SDxH
— He’s someone I see every day.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rCpkTeXXe
The movie starts and I shut up. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my friend racking his brain to figure out who I'm talking about.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZim3r6fj9V
— Your father ? he asks after a few minutes.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiD2Jqx6ubD
Without taking my eyes off the screen, I shake my head and smile. It amuses me to see him searching.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89DCAZDYMj
— Someone from high school ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTDISU2QgI
J'acquiesce504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGUwrWfiHY
— Chad ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurcDV8nXtY
A hint of anger and disbelief filters into his voice.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0otqH7Ty3r
— No. Jessy, do you want to watch the movie or tell me all the names of the guys at school ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOki7lgrTtj
— Sorry, but no matter how hard I look, I can’t see who…504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnuBnjpfBc
— It's you.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhl03GSTlF
I didn't mean to tell him, it just came out, and now I feel myself blushing as I keep my eyes glued to the television. The words have barely passed my lips before Jessy chokes on swallowing and starts coughing. He gets up to go drink some water.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgfOU7PO7e
— Well, that makes you feel, I said mockingly, pausing the movie.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ARDyaMPDo
— You got me, he says from the kitchen.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4YQlFEbDA
I turn around on the couch to look at him.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvlgSQiHKW
— It’s the truth, Jessy, I’m not making you walk.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5havgEfLa7
He comes back to sit next to me on the sofa. His cheeks are red as he places a kiss on my forehead.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtTgFIzoWY
— It’s nice of you to try to cheer me up. I love you.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQnfK7Y2Ja
That's not what I'm trying to do, I really mean it, yet my heart immediately races : he adores me. 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKZj3qr3zH
— Is it true ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1HONzCnMG
— Of course. You're my best friend, Meg.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rIvBQVFWR
Oh… Friend ? My heart calms down quickly.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBy8U8NOId
— Aren’t you in good spirits ? Is it because of the meeting ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMmZs8Zwnx
Your mother told me about it, I add in front of his frown.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZAqhrd4LS
— Yeah… it was depressing. Hearing all these patients talk about their fears… it brought me back to my own.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXFTMlkDRZ
— Did you speak with them ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDg8U5m9AXt
— No, I listened to them. It’s strange to arrive in this center where I don’t know anyone and where they invite me to confide.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs77mPdNhvW
— If you want, next time, can I accompany you ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DQ5Bm9EtT
I suggest, but I already know the answer.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkVe62DXdl
— Non ! 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7HZyPRVzS
His tone is harsher than I thought. However, he softens very quickly.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8Kpl7FseC
— That’s nice, but no. I don't want you to come into this part of my life.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUo6vKThpeh
— For what ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jEXqE5WPN
Anger reappears in his eyes, he lowers his head.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vlukWccTd
— Because you are too important to me for me to drag you into this world of illness with me.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEOrHqeTlb
— Jessy… 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe325zQdO8S
— No, Meg. I'm willing to give in when you force my hand to leave this house, but when it comes to AIDS, I won't change my mind, he said firmly, turning his gaze back to the television.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrC2Ecy5D5
— OK as you want.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYp2j3po4aj
I sigh as he resumes playing the movie. After a few minutes of silence, he glances at me and whispers : 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2xDTxGuPl
— Are you mad at me ? 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjDb9U03Ks
I can't help but smile and lean my head on his shoulder like I've gotten used to doing when we watch movies together.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnfhdGK6ff
— No, it’s your choice.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKgKUdwaxk
He places another kiss on my forehead. I whisper to him without taking my eyes off Patrick Swayze : 504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaejeuIl7v
— Me too, I like you.504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05oh2zpCb4
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAzHfFISVU
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlrBsngk5c
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBKPvxvfLS
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwPf7o0HBu
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn590AgNEE
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVK8CGxhSU1
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