"Ms. Montgomery, will you stay back for a moment?" My English teacher calls out as I'm halfway to the door.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnJvQIQiKW
The most annoying part about a teacher telling you to stay after class is their complete disregard for the very little time students have between classes. Each moment we get out of a desk is cherished, treated as though it's the best part of our day besides lunch and the final school's bell. To keep us any longer than scheduled shouldn't ever be a thing.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zhrMiAkiI
Maybe Mrs. Thompson is the first to notice me, my unhealthiness. After all this time, she could be the one to finally address being high at school. That might give me hope, hope that I won't have to make the choice of getting better for myself. If my teachers see it, the counselors will be told and then my parents will be called. I know that doesn't sound ideal to most, but I for as long as I can remember, I've been begging for this exact series of events to happen.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1R12nXNGq
She didn't notice me though.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlxgG3JgC7
"I wanted to talk to you about your essay; the short story you wrote." Mrs. Thompson tells me, sitting behind her desk with that warm, nurturing smile she always wears.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtM98FwhC8
She holds the three pieces of paper, stapled together in the corner, in her hands. She holds it delicately, as if being extra careful not to crease it.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaTtL11YtX
"You've never gotten less than an A on a paper you've wrote in my class, Lilliana." She tells me. "But compared to all your others, this one really stood out to me. I couldn't give you any less than a perfect grade."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaEJoqXNFG
The papers transfer from her hands to mine. Looking down at the paper, in thin red ink, written in large letters in the corner is a '100%'. She drew a cheesy smiley face underneath the grade.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p6LF0V8pR
Seeing it, I don't feel prideful like I used to when presented something like this. I remember wearing the largest smile after getting a grade back, in any class. At one point, I anticipated them, spending extra hours to achieve them. I haven't strived for one for a long while.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5c81WvSBF
School always came as second nature to me. I pick things up quickly; rather it's numbers, literature, or historical events, I learn it without much effort put into studying.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzSZJtl1cr
The past year, I put down the books and picked up pills...and I still have yet to make my grades budge.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneDrTatUU6
"You truly excel in creative writing." Mrs. Thompson adds. "Have you thought about doing it as a career, Lilliana?" She uses a hand to motion to the paper. "I mean, it's impressive."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhNoKprTwt
Typically, when someone compliments me on anything other than my looks, my instincts is to call them a liar. But I know writing is my strong suit. Creating an entire world unlike your own is a high within itself. Putting myself in an alternate reality is the ultimate form of therapy.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj91hhuxjLj
As a career? No.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7ELbUXtEb
College, for me, was thrown out the window around the same time I started using drugs as a blanket for my emotions. I don't plan on being here long enough to endure another long handful of years of schooling. Why do that when I won't be alive to actually use my degree?
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPnpKhCJYy
"I don't plan on going to college." I blurt out.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57Z1rK4wqo
My answer catches her off guard, giving a brief look of surprise before straightening her face.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBaityUnbK
Mrs. Thompson's eyes brighten as she gets an idea. "You don't have to go to college to be a writer, Lilliana. It depends on what you want to do with it. Do you write at home?"
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnVRcKHgKm
I give a disinterested shrug, as if to say 'a little bit.'
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCO9LZrt6VM
"What do you write?" She asks, leaning forward on her desk a bit, eager for my response.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbTTO5kEV8
I suppress the urge to groan and tell her to shut up. Instead I answer with, "Stories."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNH9ESPCeX7
She holds an excited hand up. "You could publish those! Be an author! That's a career!"
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnL3cgGy9eL
"I'm really not interested in making a career out of anything, Mrs. Thompson." I say uncomfortably. "I've put a lot of thought into it and I just want to get a job when I graduate...go from there."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOLygX2PCO
She gives a light laugh. "Well that's not much of a plan, Lilliana. You're far too smart to let all your talents go to waste. I hope you don't take that the wrong way."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKT6F5Qfvkf
The lady doesn't understand me. Pressure makes me run and right now, I just want out of this conversation.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk03zuv6x2T
"I should really get to my next class, Mrs. Thompson. Thank you for the grade though." I wave my papers awkwardly.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIKkP1a0Un
She glances at the clock before giving a soft smile. "Of course. But I'd like to talk about this more with you."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGHEfafGp4
Having zero interest in continuing this conversation at any point, I nod with a fake smile, starting for the door with hurried steps.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6xVWjGMjb
—————————-
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZRnKDjN5v
"I'm suffocating, Maverick! Every fucking day!" My tears threaten to fall but I don't let them, instead I let it out in the form of anger. "And this bitch has the audacity to tell me I'm wasting all my talents?!" I cross my arms over my chest, pacing the pavement of the empty parking lot we're in. "Every breath I take is a fucking waste."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUyhUYx0gb
I roll my eyes, shaking my head to myself. "I want to die. What am I gonna do, Mrs. Thompson? Write a fucking book and then kill myself?"
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUJmnGv1VX
"You know..." Maverick finally speaks up after hearing me rant for a good five minutes.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0gR1yd5KV
Turning to look at him, he's rested back against the hood of the car, flicking the ash off the end of the blunt.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgSBlNiOtO
"That's not a bad idea." He says. "Not the killing yourself part." He clarifies. "You should publish a heavy hitter before you die."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Asni7Thca
I groan. "You don't get it either. Never mind."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8Lmijgth5
"To deeply know you is a privilege...and I learned you long ago." He tells me. "Most people won't be able to wrap their mind around yours...ours are extremely similar, Lilliana. You know as well as I do that I get it...so don't act like I don't because you're angry right now."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeX7cKAVlMS
He pauses.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K3h7XGY4b
"You've been aware since the start that just because I understand you, doesn't mean I agree with you killing yourself."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfuo6GUVsG
"But you think I'm wasting my talents too, don't you?" I ask, approaching him to take the blunt he's offering.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbSoJ2OHKK
Maverick shakes his head. "I wouldn't say you're wasting them. I do think you need to find at least one thing you have a passion for and do it. It can be anything, Lilliana. It doesn't have to be something any teacher or parent suggests, doesn't have to be traditional. Just one thing you want to do before you die."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZXU6vmYua
"Like what?" I ask through a breath of smoke. "What's your one thing?"
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PO2s103H9
His eye contact is odd, which makes me realize this is the first time I've ever been uncomfortable under Maverick's stare.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4h5VEun2Eu
I can visibly see the wheels turning in his head but I have no idea what it could be about. He seems almost tempted in a way that confuses me.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOALLplgNw
His shift in demeanor makes the atmosphere around us darken, thicken.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡag9FVK0duA
All of a sudden, Maverick comes back to reality, that relaxed, expressionless face back. "I haven't found it yet either." He then reaches an arm out, taking the blunt from me. "Stop hogging it."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCZ5EZCOx6
"You smoked like half of it by yourself!"
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6tWrF0672
"You wouldn't stop talking." He states with lungs full of smoke before exhaling. "And if you're smoking for free, you're definitely not wasting my weed."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtE225WCnIs
I can't help my laugh. "Do you even sell close to the amount you smoke?"
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNswYpHdJD
"My money." He flashes that award winning smile that he uses to get on my nerves. "My business."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KJlOADJIp
"It's practically my money too. You spend enough on me." I tell him smugly.
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn33PITWzun
He lets out a puff of breath. "I spend more on you than I do myself. You do realize that you've never paid for yourself, right? Any and everything you have and get is from someone else?" His amused expression doesn't match his disapproving tone. "Easy with the attitude, Lilliana. I could cut you off whenever I want."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagS5l3zbNC
"There's always someone else, Maverick."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhitmP8ZrlN
His eyes squint but his grin remains. "Is that why you've kept me around; To use me?"
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxIXs4DE6D
I laugh, nudging his arm playfully. "Oh don't get all sad boy on me now."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXBpVvF8Ee
"Yes...well, at least you know I'm only using you for friendship and not anything else."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeO71wd1iCP
"I can't tell if that was an insult or a compliment."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzKz1PSikx
"A bit of both."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XXu3Obuns
"Ha. Ha."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OMsC48ztX
I start for my own car that's parked right beside his. "Let's go get some food."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrc8FVX3Li
"You mean, I go get some food and you wait comfortably on your bed?"
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2zu0eaeOz
I smile at him from over the roof as he pushes off the hood of his own car. "How did you know?"
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhi2a27ST7
Maverick has his back to me, shaking his head as he opens his door. "What do you want?"
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7iQu4DJO5
"I'm not really feeling anything in particular." My left shoulder gives one short shrug. "Surprise me."
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3atYKD8AhT
"Of course." He says with a sarcastic smile over his shoulder at me before getting in and closing the door without another glance my way.
ns216.73.216.82da2
