"Ms. Montgomery, will you stay back for a moment?" My English teacher calls out as I'm halfway to the door.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCkB0McsQk
The most annoying part about a teacher telling you to stay after class is their complete disregard for the very little time students have between classes. Each moment we get out of a desk is cherished, treated as though it's the best part of our day besides lunch and the final school's bell. To keep us any longer than scheduled shouldn't ever be a thing.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPpju852oH
Maybe Mrs. Thompson is the first to notice me, my unhealthiness. After all this time, she could be the one to finally address being high at school. That might give me hope, hope that I won't have to make the choice of getting better for myself. If my teachers see it, the counselors will be told and then my parents will be called. I know that doesn't sound ideal to most, but I for as long as I can remember, I've been begging for this exact series of events to happen.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbj8AGHnSU
She didn't notice me though.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oVoH1Lwle
"I wanted to talk to you about your essay; the short story you wrote." Mrs. Thompson tells me, sitting behind her desk with that warm, nurturing smile she always wears.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRre49jz7VZ
She holds the three pieces of paper, stapled together in the corner, in her hands. She holds it delicately, as if being extra careful not to crease it.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdq5EMReSo
"You've never gotten less than an A on a paper you've wrote in my class, Lilliana." She tells me. "But compared to all your others, this one really stood out to me. I couldn't give you any less than a perfect grade."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpUQYT1YeB
The papers transfer from her hands to mine. Looking down at the paper, in thin red ink, written in large letters in the corner is a '100%'. She drew a cheesy smiley face underneath the grade.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlD2laFzN4
Seeing it, I don't feel prideful like I used to when presented something like this. I remember wearing the largest smile after getting a grade back, in any class. At one point, I anticipated them, spending extra hours to achieve them. I haven't strived for one for a long while.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoOS9eF1FJ
School always came as second nature to me. I pick things up quickly; rather it's numbers, literature, or historical events, I learn it without much effort put into studying.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdX6JrsEvK
The past year, I put down the books and picked up pills...and I still have yet to make my grades budge.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nGH3IDII0
"You truly excel in creative writing." Mrs. Thompson adds. "Have you thought about doing it as a career, Lilliana?" She uses a hand to motion to the paper. "I mean, it's impressive."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubFJxIz3jq
Typically, when someone compliments me on anything other than my looks, my instincts is to call them a liar. But I know writing is my strong suit. Creating an entire world unlike your own is a high within itself. Putting myself in an alternate reality is the ultimate form of therapy.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWBX5wGz0Q
As a career? No.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdOs8V10TV
College, for me, was thrown out the window around the same time I started using drugs as a blanket for my emotions. I don't plan on being here long enough to endure another long handful of years of schooling. Why do that when I won't be alive to actually use my degree?
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZtfRgxlCq
"I don't plan on going to college." I blurt out.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLH2IYtCRqY
My answer catches her off guard, giving a brief look of surprise before straightening her face.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jiP0Nowgi
Mrs. Thompson's eyes brighten as she gets an idea. "You don't have to go to college to be a writer, Lilliana. It depends on what you want to do with it. Do you write at home?"
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoDB4Vjqy2
I give a disinterested shrug, as if to say 'a little bit.'
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAINBJAa4QV
"What do you write?" She asks, leaning forward on her desk a bit, eager for my response.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2OOniZYyJ
I suppress the urge to groan and tell her to shut up. Instead I answer with, "Stories."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT69CRsJUQ
She holds an excited hand up. "You could publish those! Be an author! That's a career!"
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Nlr6Ve8IA
"I'm really not interested in making a career out of anything, Mrs. Thompson." I say uncomfortably. "I've put a lot of thought into it and I just want to get a job when I graduate...go from there."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlK2mKDEKB2
She gives a light laugh. "Well that's not much of a plan, Lilliana. You're far too smart to let all your talents go to waste. I hope you don't take that the wrong way."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4C6itdxeJ
The lady doesn't understand me. Pressure makes me run and right now, I just want out of this conversation.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXI8EnAYBL
"I should really get to my next class, Mrs. Thompson. Thank you for the grade though." I wave my papers awkwardly.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPgufl01QM
She glances at the clock before giving a soft smile. "Of course. But I'd like to talk about this more with you."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrNcIDMris
Having zero interest in continuing this conversation at any point, I nod with a fake smile, starting for the door with hurried steps.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nKllYWv7Q
—————————-
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnRBUe2vtO
"I'm suffocating, Maverick! Every fucking day!" My tears threaten to fall but I don't let them, instead I let it out in the form of anger. "And this bitch has the audacity to tell me I'm wasting all my talents?!" I cross my arms over my chest, pacing the pavement of the empty parking lot we're in. "Every breath I take is a fucking waste."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXp8h23tcux
I roll my eyes, shaking my head to myself. "I want to die. What am I gonna do, Mrs. Thompson? Write a fucking book and then kill myself?"
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLBzXPalpR
"You know..." Maverick finally speaks up after hearing me rant for a good five minutes.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeDqpvXOVN
Turning to look at him, he's rested back against the hood of the car, flicking the ash off the end of the blunt.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmJ1p8pbD8
"That's not a bad idea." He says. "Not the killing yourself part." He clarifies. "You should publish a heavy hitter before you die."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPklMUtuyW
I groan. "You don't get it either. Never mind."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRdixPgX35
"To deeply know you is a privilege...and I learned you long ago." He tells me. "Most people won't be able to wrap their mind around yours...ours are extremely similar, Lilliana. You know as well as I do that I get it...so don't act like I don't because you're angry right now."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NDL0RTFR5
He pauses.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhY8biBoL2m
"You've been aware since the start that just because I understand you, doesn't mean I agree with you killing yourself."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYKoXYUKHi
"But you think I'm wasting my talents too, don't you?" I ask, approaching him to take the blunt he's offering.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kW8Ss6tHY
Maverick shakes his head. "I wouldn't say you're wasting them. I do think you need to find at least one thing you have a passion for and do it. It can be anything, Lilliana. It doesn't have to be something any teacher or parent suggests, doesn't have to be traditional. Just one thing you want to do before you die."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqNB0aIhoK
"Like what?" I ask through a breath of smoke. "What's your one thing?"
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR3uvmgzGZ
His eye contact is odd, which makes me realize this is the first time I've ever been uncomfortable under Maverick's stare.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTBbxkbQxu
I can visibly see the wheels turning in his head but I have no idea what it could be about. He seems almost tempted in a way that confuses me.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHROryVTxdr
His shift in demeanor makes the atmosphere around us darken, thicken.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FryiONnNk
All of a sudden, Maverick comes back to reality, that relaxed, expressionless face back. "I haven't found it yet either." He then reaches an arm out, taking the blunt from me. "Stop hogging it."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9s14p7BrBX
"You smoked like half of it by yourself!"
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iK9TbB3vH
"You wouldn't stop talking." He states with lungs full of smoke before exhaling. "And if you're smoking for free, you're definitely not wasting my weed."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlbeim4tdM
I can't help my laugh. "Do you even sell close to the amount you smoke?"
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wgV0Jmzso
"My money." He flashes that award winning smile that he uses to get on my nerves. "My business."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0CU64xrln
"It's practically my money too. You spend enough on me." I tell him smugly.
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KPEZfeJdO
He lets out a puff of breath. "I spend more on you than I do myself. You do realize that you've never paid for yourself, right? Any and everything you have and get is from someone else?" His amused expression doesn't match his disapproving tone. "Easy with the attitude, Lilliana. I could cut you off whenever I want."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpN6iLZ7QI
"There's always someone else, Maverick."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6KHLHiP0U
His eyes squint but his grin remains. "Is that why you've kept me around; To use me?"
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAZXbGi8q9
I laugh, nudging his arm playfully. "Oh don't get all sad boy on me now."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0xI9jbDsa
"Yes...well, at least you know I'm only using you for friendship and not anything else."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1og5uNRRfm
"I can't tell if that was an insult or a compliment."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjSaQTx8PC
"A bit of both."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbBBZYui4c
"Ha. Ha."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aHA1efnPK
I start for my own car that's parked right beside his. "Let's go get some food."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRxJDEsZ1A
"You mean, I go get some food and you wait comfortably on your bed?"
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSS4WKMSt1
I smile at him from over the roof as he pushes off the hood of his own car. "How did you know?"
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjVbI2Umg7
Maverick has his back to me, shaking his head as he opens his door. "What do you want?"
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHo70BMDlQ
"I'm not really feeling anything in particular." My left shoulder gives one short shrug. "Surprise me."
13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06BR4atLH7
"Of course." He says with a sarcastic smile over his shoulder at me before getting in and closing the door without another glance my way.
ns3.142.53.191da2
