"Ms. Montgomery, will you stay back for a moment?" My English teacher calls out as I'm halfway to the door.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9EXcjE6Mg
The most annoying part about a teacher telling you to stay after class is their complete disregard for the very little time students have between classes. Each moment we get out of a desk is cherished, treated as though it's the best part of our day besides lunch and the final school's bell. To keep us any longer than scheduled shouldn't ever be a thing.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZTORG748X
Maybe Mrs. Thompson is the first to notice me, my unhealthiness. After all this time, she could be the one to finally address being high at school. That might give me hope, hope that I won't have to make the choice of getting better for myself. If my teachers see it, the counselors will be told and then my parents will be called. I know that doesn't sound ideal to most, but I for as long as I can remember, I've been begging for this exact series of events to happen.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugAMMhlyzF
She didn't notice me though.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnSHeRJeUq
"I wanted to talk to you about your essay; the short story you wrote." Mrs. Thompson tells me, sitting behind her desk with that warm, nurturing smile she always wears.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLSyH5VIyd
She holds the three pieces of paper, stapled together in the corner, in her hands. She holds it delicately, as if being extra careful not to crease it.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsyDsvvO0p
"You've never gotten less than an A on a paper you've wrote in my class, Lilliana." She tells me. "But compared to all your others, this one really stood out to me. I couldn't give you any less than a perfect grade."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhIJJBTaNF
The papers transfer from her hands to mine. Looking down at the paper, in thin red ink, written in large letters in the corner is a '100%'. She drew a cheesy smiley face underneath the grade.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVBUqKpBfW
Seeing it, I don't feel prideful like I used to when presented something like this. I remember wearing the largest smile after getting a grade back, in any class. At one point, I anticipated them, spending extra hours to achieve them. I haven't strived for one for a long while.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡID6H5oMxts
School always came as second nature to me. I pick things up quickly; rather it's numbers, literature, or historical events, I learn it without much effort put into studying.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u3Mdxslif
The past year, I put down the books and picked up pills...and I still have yet to make my grades budge.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimDdyA2aY9
"You truly excel in creative writing." Mrs. Thompson adds. "Have you thought about doing it as a career, Lilliana?" She uses a hand to motion to the paper. "I mean, it's impressive."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8WruzYkLf
Typically, when someone compliments me on anything other than my looks, my instincts is to call them a liar. But I know writing is my strong suit. Creating an entire world unlike your own is a high within itself. Putting myself in an alternate reality is the ultimate form of therapy.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzdX85Wopf
As a career? No.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnChiHYY3XF
College, for me, was thrown out the window around the same time I started using drugs as a blanket for my emotions. I don't plan on being here long enough to endure another long handful of years of schooling. Why do that when I won't be alive to actually use my degree?
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpR0FoWxTP
"I don't plan on going to college." I blurt out.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfXSRo1oME
My answer catches her off guard, giving a brief look of surprise before straightening her face.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91E2J89VkQ
Mrs. Thompson's eyes brighten as she gets an idea. "You don't have to go to college to be a writer, Lilliana. It depends on what you want to do with it. Do you write at home?"
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OwdZ5y7DM
I give a disinterested shrug, as if to say 'a little bit.'
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ehrek0AiH
"What do you write?" She asks, leaning forward on her desk a bit, eager for my response.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSwWh0lw7F
I suppress the urge to groan and tell her to shut up. Instead I answer with, "Stories."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3epllrrb78
She holds an excited hand up. "You could publish those! Be an author! That's a career!"
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGo6qvMKUSA
"I'm really not interested in making a career out of anything, Mrs. Thompson." I say uncomfortably. "I've put a lot of thought into it and I just want to get a job when I graduate...go from there."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AMcdJWb50
She gives a light laugh. "Well that's not much of a plan, Lilliana. You're far too smart to let all your talents go to waste. I hope you don't take that the wrong way."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2zVxdLRT9
The lady doesn't understand me. Pressure makes me run and right now, I just want out of this conversation.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXLy0hDadM
"I should really get to my next class, Mrs. Thompson. Thank you for the grade though." I wave my papers awkwardly.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGL3DkX7Cti
She glances at the clock before giving a soft smile. "Of course. But I'd like to talk about this more with you."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwd9qJVJr5
Having zero interest in continuing this conversation at any point, I nod with a fake smile, starting for the door with hurried steps.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIQSzieYZm
—————————-
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0mowtAtZp
"I'm suffocating, Maverick! Every fucking day!" My tears threaten to fall but I don't let them, instead I let it out in the form of anger. "And this bitch has the audacity to tell me I'm wasting all my talents?!" I cross my arms over my chest, pacing the pavement of the empty parking lot we're in. "Every breath I take is a fucking waste."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2P6baO1y3G
I roll my eyes, shaking my head to myself. "I want to die. What am I gonna do, Mrs. Thompson? Write a fucking book and then kill myself?"
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPAS7N6DjZ
"You know..." Maverick finally speaks up after hearing me rant for a good five minutes.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXGp7fNkrh
Turning to look at him, he's rested back against the hood of the car, flicking the ash off the end of the blunt.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUChmVTIqA2
"That's not a bad idea." He says. "Not the killing yourself part." He clarifies. "You should publish a heavy hitter before you die."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmbqLRIpmX
I groan. "You don't get it either. Never mind."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3OsUVSO5j
"To deeply know you is a privilege...and I learned you long ago." He tells me. "Most people won't be able to wrap their mind around yours...ours are extremely similar, Lilliana. You know as well as I do that I get it...so don't act like I don't because you're angry right now."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAHCQCgxoT
He pauses.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWW30Q6eq7L
"You've been aware since the start that just because I understand you, doesn't mean I agree with you killing yourself."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvhxM0HVeZ
"But you think I'm wasting my talents too, don't you?" I ask, approaching him to take the blunt he's offering.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEI5uwKkFNZ
Maverick shakes his head. "I wouldn't say you're wasting them. I do think you need to find at least one thing you have a passion for and do it. It can be anything, Lilliana. It doesn't have to be something any teacher or parent suggests, doesn't have to be traditional. Just one thing you want to do before you die."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIghJpc7vGA
"Like what?" I ask through a breath of smoke. "What's your one thing?"
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIrDp6mjjC
His eye contact is odd, which makes me realize this is the first time I've ever been uncomfortable under Maverick's stare.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6iVKBa5PP
I can visibly see the wheels turning in his head but I have no idea what it could be about. He seems almost tempted in a way that confuses me.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOl4mtuzrfD
His shift in demeanor makes the atmosphere around us darken, thicken.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKwSSnMXPe
All of a sudden, Maverick comes back to reality, that relaxed, expressionless face back. "I haven't found it yet either." He then reaches an arm out, taking the blunt from me. "Stop hogging it."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUhXjIhhsn
"You smoked like half of it by yourself!"
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUrZkToGx2
"You wouldn't stop talking." He states with lungs full of smoke before exhaling. "And if you're smoking for free, you're definitely not wasting my weed."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiiE0VOR6B
I can't help my laugh. "Do you even sell close to the amount you smoke?"
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIL1yjPyid
"My money." He flashes that award winning smile that he uses to get on my nerves. "My business."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfvtUeGBqj
"It's practically my money too. You spend enough on me." I tell him smugly.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdS7V1JhXXD
He lets out a puff of breath. "I spend more on you than I do myself. You do realize that you've never paid for yourself, right? Any and everything you have and get is from someone else?" His amused expression doesn't match his disapproving tone. "Easy with the attitude, Lilliana. I could cut you off whenever I want."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmu9JdcrnS
"There's always someone else, Maverick."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsCQBjfURB
His eyes squint but his grin remains. "Is that why you've kept me around; To use me?"
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhNcSEuP2f
I laugh, nudging his arm playfully. "Oh don't get all sad boy on me now."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4uVCjxcBr
"Yes...well, at least you know I'm only using you for friendship and not anything else."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3j10WPy9qi
"I can't tell if that was an insult or a compliment."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GdpJjsUOE
"A bit of both."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4iuS5irVp
"Ha. Ha."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN17Ao4ZnZE
I start for my own car that's parked right beside his. "Let's go get some food."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XhrzKGoS8
"You mean, I go get some food and you wait comfortably on your bed?"
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnBfW4PlXG
I smile at him from over the roof as he pushes off the hood of his own car. "How did you know?"
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKttAPkABGr
Maverick has his back to me, shaking his head as he opens his door. "What do you want?"
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIFx9Uhovv
"I'm not really feeling anything in particular." My left shoulder gives one short shrug. "Surprise me."
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbGWcMuKIV
"Of course." He says with a sarcastic smile over his shoulder at me before getting in and closing the door without another glance my way.
ns216.73.216.8da2
