隔天夜裡，風從窗縫鑽進來。房間裡很安靜，只有鍵盤偶爾的敲擊聲。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B1p3AGOzs
賴夏陽正坐在書桌前看著模擬考解答，眼神有些恍惚。他揉了揉太陽穴，覺得最近頭老是痛，胸口也悶得很。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsSDBPpK7O
「應該只是太累了吧……」他低聲說，拿起水杯灌了一口。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4gbuOt9rs
但下一秒，他突然開始猛烈地咳嗽——
一聲接著一聲，喉嚨像被火燒一樣難受。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeL5KgI1LH
他急忙起身想去廁所，卻沒走兩步就扶著牆滑坐下來。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMDlvUhwxa
咳嗽沒有停，他的手掌按住嘴，卻感覺到一陣濕潤的黏膩。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDc8Du3UgCw
當他看見掌心那一抹鮮紅時，整個人都愣住了。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdSBhXK8wj
那不是鼻血——
是血，從喉嚨咳出來的。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPs7cKRIwCv
—
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25yf0stXxz
他沒有馬上驚慌，只是安靜地坐在地上，看著那血跡發了一會兒呆。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49beUd2JLk
「……怎麼會這樣？」
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tiROlUgb8
他的聲音幾乎聽不見。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SCb0mVq96
幾分鐘後，他勉強起身，洗掉手上的血，換了件衣服，悄悄出門。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvWGlAKrLs
沒有跟任何人說。
他只是覺得，不能再拖了。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iwnllXyiO
這件事，他必須一個人知道答案。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2FhTS2czk
醫院的空氣聞起來總是混著消毒水味道，冷冷的，有點刺鼻。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8PNu0dhoS
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGHBu2t2zu
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRblgo80Im9
賴夏陽拿著掛號單，坐在等候區的角落，帽子壓得低低的，背包放在腳邊。他左手插著口袋，右手握著手機，螢幕亮著，但他根本沒在看。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcLqoG3H14
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6j7xeQXfnS
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TGQZsadgQ
他沒告訴任何人。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6mDo9MRcf
不是不信任，只是——不想讓別人擔心。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCM5ZPNJYw
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIrr5mndJG
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedinAWh73w
「賴夏陽先生，請進診間三。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6YhfrGxfq
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDWupMMWVx
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccTJFHHIm4
他站起來，深吸一口氣，走進診間。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWkyYMMXoo
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjfqgrwcNS
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHtyDXCZQD
—20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuvmxPZY1k
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZW4MFGdaRj
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPk73mNtMv
醫生是個中年男人，戴著眼鏡，臉上表情一如既往的冷靜與專業。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2JncMdC1A
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdGKYdGpIx
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkMsopphB0
他看著報告，看了很久。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Mo1aStVX6
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZX3ce5nQ4
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dGVHwoV4C
「你的影像資料我們已經仔細判讀過了。」醫生說，聲音平靜卻緩慢，「目前來看，肺部的異常陰影已經明顯擴散，我們懷疑是惡性腫瘤。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3816MhSHZE
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQYQIyqmE1
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVk18y8Q775
賴夏陽一時間沒有反應。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGXm8BVdH0
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxX0rzBT4cC
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnJEuMEQmA
他甚至下意識笑了一下：「惡性……什麼？」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCG4gRCQ8GP
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhs9Sg0YNY
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrtjhyteLz
「肺腺癌，第三期偏晚。建議你盡快安排更進一步的切片與全身檢查，並與家屬討論治療方向，後天再來做一次檢查。」醫生說完這句，才抬起頭看著他：「你今天是一個人來的？」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtkz7ehb4d
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3C6nU7KmnZ
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfKePLvoof
「嗯……我爸媽都在外地工作，不方便過來。」他語氣輕鬆，但指尖抓緊了背包的拉鍊。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpR7d5WQCc
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmku8CCCKux
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgg5XYZdfS
「這不是小病，孩子。」醫生的語氣比剛才溫柔了些，「如果你信得過我，我們會陪你走下一步，但你要讓身邊的人知道。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpygGsY7Ta
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcs1w4Wgwnz
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVq9COs2bl
夏陽笑了笑：「我知道了。謝謝你。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMc8PVm4pz
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBM4dmWkQq
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBtUzvMGAJ
—20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsHSqoE6MT
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxvdJ3arHt
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxrE6xMWQV
走出醫院那一刻，陽光很強。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeA1IFtpwdI
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YNXNtX393
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDD3AV0uuk
他站在門口的陰影下，低頭看著手裡那份檢查報告。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1W7OaSwVhd
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Cq7tb4P9w
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh12SFgtF8Z
手有一點抖。他不記得自己最後一次怕成這樣是什麼時候——是國小第一次騎腳踏車摔倒？還是那次父母吵架，把家裡東西摔得亂七八糟？20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGpGaB5w08
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3iCrrY7le
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUx6rGZ12yJ
都不是。這種感覺更孤單。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXAQnkrdeL
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FFUXXhZwx
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNMoyrE6nI
他把報告折起來，收進背包最底層。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEQQkFxuBX
接著掏出手機，給冬月傳了一則訊息：20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0kx8uOzMf
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pJCn3JvN6
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKVINUQm02
【等等要不要吃甜不辣？我今天嘴巴很饞。】20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8z8InTXFJ
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM41BG818di
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1mywmWRnq
螢幕亮起時，心裡的某個東西也默默碎了一小塊。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwsVsgBYjA
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zXvGM4iqB
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfheVzhUIPl
但他的語氣，還是一如往常的陽光。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAToTNWUxn
這天，醫院裡沒什麼人，窗外陰雲低壓，像雨快要落下。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzl1CKfF9C
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sK1DZBdFT
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rAKWkTMBo
賴夏陽坐在診間外，一隻手撐著額頭，一隻手握著手機，螢幕停在一張和陳冬月的合照。照片裡她笑得很甜，笑眼彎彎，而他就在旁邊笑著看她。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGl7U7EcY5B
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYZ3gYiVmb
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwpqYtwPqI
診間的門開了。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuwF7t3jX7
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XsGmFt4Pl
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyJQ1MiSA5
「賴夏陽，進來吧。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8poscZgDu
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXLnhkBIFm
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNgAcKTABp
—20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzYxAIQzP7
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCPWVt9zLe
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8Q5lF2ono
這次的報告比上次厚了一些。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsb7xp1aFHi
醫生沒有立刻說話，而是翻閱資料，再三確認過數據後才抬起頭。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHEltY3ZDw
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PGDDkf25U
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuA3IWdMexR
「夏陽，這次的結果出來了。我們已經進行過切片、影像與血液標記檢查……很遺憾地告訴你——你目前的病情是肺腺癌第四期，癌細胞已經轉移到淋巴與骨骼組織。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo3COPqBkt
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpFKiOuPKZ
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sJKtIJK71
他愣了一下，眼睛眨也沒眨，但胸口突然像被重錘打了一下。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaCzMPDxMb
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8V707aPAlf
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVa0NIjGssS
醫生語氣盡量柔和：「以目前情況來看，若不接受侵入性治療，存活期大約只剩下三個月左右。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBJu79Zo9q
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShgs3UOkpo
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKomjbOd27
「……三個月。」他重複了一次，聲音低得像喃喃自語。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6n4eKR8DQ
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTYb1MDqma
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmvNpFnDLk
「是。」醫生點頭，「如果願意配合化療、標靶，或許可以爭取更多時間，但這些治療……會很辛苦，副作用也很強。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHVVylWuxB
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKpwtxIkOM
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0IjdzfyQH
賴夏陽沒有馬上說話，只是靜靜地坐著，視線落在桌面某個角落。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaMAwQjmQF
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbFvZWVVte
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lOS5BzJrl
「這些話你今天第一次聽到，可能會很難接受。」醫生遞了一杯水給他，「你需要一些時間，也建議你讓家人知道，這不是你可以獨自扛下的事。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHTYBOzU97
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmg7FPiusNE
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUBOOgpurs
他看著那杯水，手卻沒伸出去。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPKPLhfN2E
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHMQ6SNPXF
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswAmJ2BIat
「……謝謝你告訴我。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaDNeoUlll
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKqI7ezP2a
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hyIJ1G6BD
「夏陽——」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuq2NXKjimq
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpuusBMzVj
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnTOGnatRA
「我知道該怎麼做。」他輕輕打斷醫生，語氣還是那麼平靜，「我只是……還有幾個人，我想再陪陪他們，然後，我會處理好我自己的事。」20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYfrygTitq
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy40qGthjaU
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUHB5FmDyW
—20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqYUHRRCsC
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11CDcctczs
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrniK1IMVwf
走出診間的時候，他沒哭。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzLZ8ix42m
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWODPoGsMm
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrw4O5wScS
只是手指一直摩擦著褲邊的縫線，像是用這個動作提醒自己還活著。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWIhcNyQ3d
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tQP19bbUd
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcbZYb4ySC
三個月。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3pZcMFbMy
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLovVIG0Mb
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXNqI8ijyi
這是醫生說出口，但彷彿用刀刻在他心口的字。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2IReKwWye
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmUA7lwZjS
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnuUdH07vx
他走到醫院樓下，站在陽光底下。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFFtXrUp25
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoj8ePrlUrl
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJi7IKhNCC6
這天的天氣很好，天空藍得像不會崩塌的夢。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KCivvdbJ5
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQVScpu43s
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhQytjN0uk
可他知道，自己的世界，開始倒數了。
醫生說，只剩三個月。20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22keh5TwnC
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoib6IyfHQ6
「不過也有例外。」
「你可以選擇化療，但……機會不大。」
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAPFSgBrnt
他搖了搖頭。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmly5RZtOU
他想到冬月。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2BA5L8xAL
不行，他不能讓她親眼看見他一點一點地衰弱。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ493FOR6FED
那會成為她一輩子的夢魘。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vDHl02gA4
他要把最好的自己，留在她記憶裡。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQarUUXL3F
—
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtN9fzd2Z0
那幾天，他突然變得格外貼心，天天接她放學、帶她去吃她喜歡的甜點、看電影、吹風，什麼都順著她。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0mNGE45v8
冬月察覺到他的異樣，卻說不上來是哪裡。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2e1JgGdqIh
她只知道，這幾天像一場夢。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiyYJg0fel
是他們之間，最美的一場夢。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vFb1i18EQ
—
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq1MYAW8bz
幾天後，他開始變冷淡，不再主動、不再回訊息，眼神也不再柔軟。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTudoqmdhWB
她問他：「你怎麼了？」
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64GvvNMmTs
他只是淡淡地說：「我們……是不是該給彼此一點空間？」
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ522b06xLC6
她愣住。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0KU9iZdxw
一顆心，瞬間凍住。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOI7LOw3Bw
—
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIGZG8DxdW
然後，他消失了。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQtgJJDrJt
只留下一封信。
20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnEg4s2ubu
「小月亮，對不起，我太自私了。我不想讓妳看著我慢慢死去。妳值得更好的人生、更完整的愛。
所以我選擇一個人去走這段路——
到我人生最後的冬天。」
