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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDWEVuxe12
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzQgnhNq0u
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7DEC6GOYd
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyHJEGEtXh
— Ok I hear you.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfJrhiJXgt
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZmosZma9Y
— A tattoo ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisfjiPsJEa
She nods energetically.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAlr75QoV7
— While you are still a minor ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkD0NG0266O
— Soon to be an adult.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zNkheOIAE
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiH0zkH4ot
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWzOcTyWwf
— No way ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0I7LnBCcN
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWooqcOpU4I
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTueTLVYU5S
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AKvydVL2z
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KKF2Wj5j1
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYcuRyorm6
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rzArZndsQ
— She’s not a cool mother ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30vks1yARv
I decide to join them in the kitchen.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEy9iW2Nyt
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDfXBLRo5G
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz676qQaIrr
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tzSr7KE1f
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrH6RyNtXf5
My son looks at us, imperturbable.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMb5Bx7rsw
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvRk8lzJ5j
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpXLNB94km
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVdo8xJ1k3
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfl8noX4WqZ
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0aXZWa3uO
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzMHgMdmgV
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GjXSryEaR
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUGw0I9VZg
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDFyIAJip3
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qoCg7mUf7
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn81ZTiNEzm
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOEzQfjbmZ
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXd19pm1P13
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDMKMjwvO8
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79NJw1oaS8
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHV1aPqi0vM
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYdbro8oBX
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48qL5nfGCK
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQd1xa2LFNc
My father coughs and chokes.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEL75Y0GJlf
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIa0pihy27F
I nod yes.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytMMLimrPN
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbC5zttuaF
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkG5nxm3k6
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHg2zUIZPn
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzLej0DlIb
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTmXooEmFT
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaHrF2KgPY
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWkgLIRyyi
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqX0FnpbPV
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzUKyzpMlx
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sHYMQdtgh
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWgTB5VT4v
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rvFFWcygn
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbKNqC9nbR
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAX7amcJMXL
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKxOFdvx0J
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOP75ag3Et
— Yes Megan.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKLDHV73qQ
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6RcxsOLnk
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCob22jSPTf
Many raise their hands including the new one.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJVpFmkXHW
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1k6awLYDH
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBBijlW3as
— Perfect, Jessy ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67rjB7lxKq
Jessy… 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxz7VwuJcTa
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08WjeK8Hxs
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqqgdzLDzP
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtU40M3Bbh
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7V4UX7vwq1
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnb22DGTDJz
My cheeks immediately turn red.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkUPWIIHXj
— There is nothing to say.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKLc1wveJf
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPhALhbZ0R
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwTWdJlzcX
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSc42vpiGB
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAQQ4Inkq0
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YXGG7RSbk
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkXddVNdnG
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNgodks4LP
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBVgTmjNll
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFLTXMnAlJ
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdktqB5nCAW
— I learned a few things about him...498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ps3QCFiEy
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKA4CDAo8S
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezZSsTwxql
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3uaBzznaw
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuvwfKTDAu
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtxi7ucX5K
When I don't answer, he continues : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡua2r69M4DA
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdhkF4XXiJ
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3X2ywW5yaD
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiuC9e1dw0
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzGEW7c5t0
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrPWzCsQ4f
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGexk7WFbVS
Why am I blushing ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmMqrEM95l
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AwjgXed0h
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoqYT1MH4A
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpEOLPU1Yn
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8xpxnkyha
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAgZ4T4GPX
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyPfT314yy
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAR4qli0BHz
— Where were you ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPlrUtdsaX
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkJQbPbusX
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZrGPd3tVx
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHf6KQ2KH0P
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1TbdzWx6J
— This guy is weird ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcworMdYLef
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWr6fbf4njd
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSveDf9gwq
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pfzM5KVU2
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZxEUtRIyt
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGrKfjI13I
— I am coming with you.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5v3pqo2SN
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBoXnXmbg9
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXqKpVcauw
My boyfriend raises his voice.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJYq3wSDny
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBVt0yMNW5
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9clpEkRDDR
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEyyUQTsIl
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsY66AWKn46
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ4zuSSgXW
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZotOyuYmW
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4D5QxelUZk
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMVGCLbP3x
Having little choice, I accept.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxddguSfrt
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRijAud8zzD
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmXGyhKEMO
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJyJBzbXu7
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLIiRWdc5y
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXKtVJcbWW
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSn2lBzoGxO
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVUER46rkL
— What are you talking about ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYoo0wYjJa
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT03dJJl38C
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bJLDmPD6B
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9hLV9fg5q
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxhgoj4u4w
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vUAILDL1D
— I'm going back.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpLzuI65KZ
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YjuLGqnS0
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLWRRuY1Y4
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y08WyorTv
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqS3fzYFcz
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt56nS0bylr
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHouISw2rkO
— I need to walk...498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aPxmOJ69p
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhY9usQN42
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwD4SvHRgWm
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiI8K1odwal
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgpZZe48Gs
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9qyl9HPcp
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegAbmsndIz
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcPxhcYDM0
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkCWkdV1fw
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyf44WZD6x
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYuqQ9BO8o
I look at him, surprised.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQJqWKSdan
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdjGwycYQz
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPRARBGFxI
— You're good ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XqacrHSqQ
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHUf54ruTE
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZbgfm6quX
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8avFdUFNt
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeKSC2PYLz
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3zW9CztF7
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kDNrrj2tu
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7AOf5cObD
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjXQERPzPO
— Did this happen to you too ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOT6oAQRT2o
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2q0zPvLjL
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wyIfy2rUZ
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqZdegvT2j
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHZVwOvLC5
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cnWFtMWAw
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHQoQNaDR0
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQzzdyZiXC
— I see in you.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm9MH5x527
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnn3SuPaj2A
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTAg5OGuzS
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MiNrtoZnI
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0wFIS5IQ8
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FSzAMAPDV
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqEUtlHb5P
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKNYYSU4qo
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZgKaEdo3N
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJoxfs2nTw
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa6ZJMDG2q
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bKvaohKAm
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetgWKiUnet
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBvNl3oWIs
Immediately, boos are heard.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0c3R2dRki
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8mD7JLkcM
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRYhB6OwTB
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwxNnQ3Clj
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz4WPT4kD3
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtm71G5T3uA
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DcLSIWbP3
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2tYyc2hm4
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARkfuED0ag
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ22DjtkfXX
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfegSrKk8jE
— Jessy, wait ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4Rt4Ny699
He slows down, but doesn't stop.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHh97wIJxSD
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CJMZCr0GM
His shoulders relax and he exhales.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPd0MGa13v5
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCqOzesJWz
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXa891A8iAl
— I'm not…498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60IT3QjwAH
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hAIx260K5
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHzXv519WO
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTEQW2PPH3
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZWaHXQaiH
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyn0jRauBJv
Why didn't I think of that ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouqOgQ76Iv
I refrain from slapping myself.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HTwBYH5nz
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O38aZpI4H
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOOOn34eaj
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OpVPlXbi8
But what is happening to me ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ72YJ8EPh8
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3cDzLe3WV
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0EOeyh9NP
What's going on with Jessy ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtA8PWQj1h0
Astonished, I wrote : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRQQuUxEEN
What ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPCg1sXtP6
Chad's response was quick : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KO89C3AVl
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ozmV3QKgD
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVqEchiaVG
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhvkxQXhnA
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG45Dg4Wp9
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuimQ8QlDuH
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFs7E3xay8
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrP9m1XMPr
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7ECez2Cee
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZnndjQWyB
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8l58WDqAE9
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazdC4ILpKt
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvbG0XlC1l
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDxDPbUaQm
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1CLMB56Tu
I am left speechless.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPlflVYa42
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtjDQYa6rC
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4YBRoN3ud
— Very often. I hurt you ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtpPjeBycT
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVZbv6cLYh
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zrniStL8z
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2K11qoiBy
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4ipIzaunh
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyuNFP7qR6
— Mom, this is Jessy.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVti9rpi5EW
They greet each other.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZcZusqOBP
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRm7rAtgSY
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIur8JddCzt
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK46UxmbcWk
He shrugs his shoulders.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9a44MOCgd
— I don't want to bother you…498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGP5amgQF2G
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34rCPuw1Ny
— Nicolas is my older brother…498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrisffhYhoa
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavFCQF3RLL
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbb2pxxpNAB
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XjpFTG30X
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwc1kmciQFz
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWey8hgx7r
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQWqE2ppcM
— For what ? I tell the truth.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGN5kKS8NZ
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WnXYKFMtK
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YmFljizpa
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjh4LBBArK
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlV4wW59FLc
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzyUZ4entu
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX479xfjc1t
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb73CDduKHP
I glance at him sideways, smiling.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQpE24JwJq
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeEQNxo9xJ
— Not really.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fnM9hdQxd
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSHGdnCwqQ
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6tLW1ZIwY
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdZ5mHSSsv
— You think that…498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCWBNCh0ya
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAat5h9cNk5
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoFNDVEeVm
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00bkQUcfYw
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82jMNwJ8eU
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ptOYFaery
— Megan ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcw0eejECs
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdCjjRllqC
— I am sure of it ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu30KSkMK1
I give him a big smile.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTklbDkV4JK
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0barumdZO
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyPX0AtGVc
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoxtvK5xks
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgoNf0G6XG
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4F5nnjsRA
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZhWcFyvW6
— Did you move here alone ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdGwBAxVnJ
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObM8rGajJ3
— No, I live with my mother.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJssAwKa1u
— And your father ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfdJ7aka8X
— My father died when I was a kid.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspk2CNNN9O
— Sorry.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjg9SgO32SH
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8QMrxYCeU
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJm0zyq0NG
Jessy grimace. 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHB9g0APBui
— No, they stayed in Allentown.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jGicJlw9G
— For what ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3JSAE6mwr
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIn4Ho1anZ4
— Joker ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcMh0cYlFq
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGTUDYBodO
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDTv6zfFG6
— Re joker ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbAEvutFMG
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ist8WzcAm
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHiKZDaDK5
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hPDcb8UbR
Looking serious, he nods.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmAmjVa4ph
— So you’re from Allentown ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfC7o4gKMmH
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf43JfEsR6k
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjl21xVSQM
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZanYd2CdaT
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHo38zRpuZ
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BRTDA1Q1F
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNj3v40XVPo
I blush and lower my head.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFxc5KoDQx
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMy4MYlHVTD
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9BFTowPA9
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjJwj3aVZT
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9D2CwKomWi
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzmrumcqPi
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Fz3JvqlpE
— You still have ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnvaWIKkqn
— Well no, we split up...498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVZHoGCkBx
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofVBc5nUIt
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3bCKThlu3
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnziw7G6SxV
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡau71YyRApT
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOYvt9Dymj
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eq7o7qXWp
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYHiuE5klA
He glares at me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUO7UB4gSI
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqICiWgF6b
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQArmI2vJsB
— So where is the problem ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKNf18sS0w
— I can not do that.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6yKRa6Lit
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAITljp83Hl
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZNcQrWFES
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fOnRn4eeb
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHJbmXt4WT
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFRImnMxYa
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzOtWTnuAv
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RAanJpNqB
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHUJTdHOc2
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtk1E2mPesd
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnkxk86Py1
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDT7N2OmAI
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekFTk4fha5
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBDtivV7re
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡum5KSgx4oe
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIKyfzg0h7
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjNkEYA38s
— Hello ? he says, happily.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Tdqp5ZrXW
— Nick, it’s me.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBklvas4Za
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDylVO6tf3
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHO4Pu1bR2
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPlwfz0CQq
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqGYh2JfuD
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAOMgqO92G
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpPKeyDvpR
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYBxIfNmlp
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RYf5VdlrG
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZ93MTSobq
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzPhQZDBk3
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZnOKBXCcy
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENANHuG5fu
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaAH7fVosG
— I wouldn't be able to.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTDFUytfnA
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0u8NINrW1m
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6j11cMnjBe
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0jmm840b6
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm2ivqEV6u
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxZyb1xMJh
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
