x
天亮，上班。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03sYK13xpW
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEsMVl1Neq
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1p2pc5j5sE
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiv0DiFX54u
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBFcSClEKq
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqbrRfn9Bl
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywHopScNx2
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6PBPVSvfA
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8qEWZSqnq
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0lSxlsXVK
看不見，罷。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChdiJ8jPH3
天黑，下班。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLRChoM9Ls
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWbLzAU4tw
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWPZIk7k0l
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTF3VB8P2YU
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHcCW80rlv
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0r9faHHRsg
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRIyA2w20a
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF7tzIy4Jj
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2t0D8Lm3T
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMibwpOgX6x
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNkklatnzd
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsofLGQFG9
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL3qQrRjek
公司，午飯時間。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OfzLJFTfU
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4meYaV9B2
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTsEb95SmW
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0L85lrn0v
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkJpJTgFwr
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2RaYQPCvu
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYdqEHAGfa
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfA3yJWl7rZ
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIDDsOY1EW
還是……253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQwDUI9NOn
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzw4OzQLSWJ
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7Jf3UQcrb
公司，工作。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEtCSromqq
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11Q3VBkfLG
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgw60qUMBRx
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡju2sze1j4j
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsGNQn1toO
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYD8ptGeX6
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQCnjWqXEY
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8VQBXZj6f
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpXDLhdbYG
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQBFjxd4MP
快意，笑了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9HizZaMeN
酒吧，喝酒。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJoYUuiSR4
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVBQur3H29
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBt4cmEpGz
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ8NWsKLRt
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2lnmCDpp6
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTlnaWZeCJ
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyy7d5NWui
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLib7NpH2Y
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7KQHEa5TO
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtgBD4fPwr
醉倒。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72GFrZVPAr
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqt7mWTF69S
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmb1CJYPyFw
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0n3dpYOEK
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXX1wDRTwvG
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmB3jqrLyl
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrHwm2C5uk
假期，醫院。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCCyWQyt3i
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9S6ZIWVOQq
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUKEWB3pl4
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkveZ0SPGB
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1UGizksnY
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNxYXFeRUd
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmmWy79Bbk
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2jrPzI55j
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2K9vtLfk0
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUSvVudI1D
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfi8OFOflT
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4NdFVIYgZ
死寂。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjJDecrk03
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1nk3nCJT7
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQfyhZ8Ch6
回家，晚飯。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4H8KBt1BJ
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5IWdbF5a9
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N3Vn2U4n3
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41LwrzRsN9
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eTMxPslsM
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvGqQW2Cm8
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssmzsmstNU
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66lxlKo7Xh
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDXP9OaVKy
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrue5Ii6h2
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumr1w4KW7r
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOw0BgcF8B
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2F7BDWf5yF
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77TBKo10Nc
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVB8d5AwbcU
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroeajGWVLU
男友家，床上。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk622tfgjUu
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1szVzF26WD
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwNz3Iww7L
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXyHM2USEu
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR07yFSDblB
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGWAN58dnH
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9NFF91phM
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInYMH6Bt5b
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuP8EvaOQEh
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxMib5NdaO
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvf0eX2Tv7
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmVIIpvsxb
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQjTNtpcol
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6E4o15zE4
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJNKMZXJ4Z
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsLkRqKgKi
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKD5TUtBOyk
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFr3BLc4uE9
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RR67xNyC0
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcj5VADFr2
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT78clepfeo
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tHjQrLq3R
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjfA5DmKgv
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiEAioabXl
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡma1UXmfFxK
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8qNbgVnAj
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AxbyPNSLu
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzApeh70HX
「在你體內。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXwXi2MfVh
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEnq5JZgWX
「甚麼？」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPhqpxILnJ
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjfht1FGBK
「蟻。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwvK9svsNO
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRRhTQj4gE
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZfhBAdmr2
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAutbiE54q
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡditnnPbH36
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEOadedS6F
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8m0b0Ji21d
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vUCmQdhGw
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3WIOx4nnX
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfJsEexeaV
「誰？」另一聲音反問。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLMgXMq4vf
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcojeax2Rth
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhK0IAQGpN
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgGls8erI4
靜。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq8YO2UtJ0
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6PAIf0QOH
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlSkMAzGQ7
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmY8BxqFodM
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gPr500eZn
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHFwWX65gb
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7QPpNIiXF
我：「我有精神病？」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhICqC3uNO
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHy3fbMdwZb
醫：「是情緒病。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhF5NE7bqp1
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNYyyFhl8I
我：「怎麼辦？」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4GvfqXauB
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ujXckVK38
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvYOzq720f
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7qsfSVFJt
我：「謝謝醫生。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkCn01vVjS
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqhejbAdr6
醫：「不用謝。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalwZomlY6P
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQz3xz9xft
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcb8fhl2NN
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqw6aSHPZ0
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ938VVkjKBB
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5m0tZNhH9
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSALQ6l0HTE
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6Vbyf0kq8
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHo6K4IoFf
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2daBJBwyB
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQe2z00NF1
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu6rbJC1tX
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLy3JRXFzLY
……253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPA6vXG1kx
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlewIhzabbn
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiszhY7OqO
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvdWh72SmA
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT63JTnhjRr
