隔天夜裡，風從窗縫鑽進來。房間裡很安靜，只有鍵盤偶爾的敲擊聲。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEKb81Xe6b
賴夏陽正坐在書桌前看著模擬考解答，眼神有些恍惚。他揉了揉太陽穴，覺得最近頭老是痛，胸口也悶得很。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmS4w1C5tDA
「應該只是太累了吧……」他低聲說，拿起水杯灌了一口。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDRWgdHYaN
但下一秒，他突然開始猛烈地咳嗽——
一聲接著一聲，喉嚨像被火燒一樣難受。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaOxt8zggI
他急忙起身想去廁所，卻沒走兩步就扶著牆滑坐下來。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWj6vCTcRq
咳嗽沒有停，他的手掌按住嘴，卻感覺到一陣濕潤的黏膩。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZiuHs7znc
當他看見掌心那一抹鮮紅時，整個人都愣住了。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9YviBSkQI
那不是鼻血——
是血，從喉嚨咳出來的。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrPoH9SFAq
—
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHC51zCeCpJ
他沒有馬上驚慌，只是安靜地坐在地上，看著那血跡發了一會兒呆。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDcDOcXdw7
「……怎麼會這樣？」
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu4zCrnoyK
他的聲音幾乎聽不見。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlj5M2iJXXd
幾分鐘後，他勉強起身，洗掉手上的血，換了件衣服，悄悄出門。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6V2nbVNGo
沒有跟任何人說。
他只是覺得，不能再拖了。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnqTtNWY0R
這件事，他必須一個人知道答案。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXx7ditgsYQ
醫院的空氣聞起來總是混著消毒水味道，冷冷的，有點刺鼻。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Spyi8627z
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQmthLy1Fr
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpS7CRNtdV
賴夏陽拿著掛號單，坐在等候區的角落，帽子壓得低低的，背包放在腳邊。他左手插著口袋，右手握著手機，螢幕亮著，但他根本沒在看。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQkIPUNu4l
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZmTJiIVzB
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3rzB4EabJ
他沒告訴任何人。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p9I3ZU5yf
不是不信任，只是——不想讓別人擔心。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJXF6V1EfX
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hQZmYGU1q
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOWnUqw5PJ
「賴夏陽先生，請進診間三。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrNGwXKOfG
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bnBJnvDh5
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijGxkQuQbk
他站起來，深吸一口氣，走進診間。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzbPvaGNdo
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBviKtIosl
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDuMqU9Su4
—27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVpncq0PJD
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27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzkdQbCtOh
醫生是個中年男人，戴著眼鏡，臉上表情一如既往的冷靜與專業。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQT4ei8tFa
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpUFkyZOY5
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNy7VuQRLaH
他看著報告，看了很久。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjpTHWzpQ1
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxIkfOYpZE
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnMAQ5SpGB
「你的影像資料我們已經仔細判讀過了。」醫生說，聲音平靜卻緩慢，「目前來看，肺部的異常陰影已經明顯擴散，我們懷疑是惡性腫瘤。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdLVFgYCly
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ixnKtIcYt
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCGRzeYOCZ
賴夏陽一時間沒有反應。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZEeBtpRcX
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFIe9M1DVo
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyg1k7x8tva
他甚至下意識笑了一下：「惡性……什麼？」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNCilOiTIZ
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyg1wROsXp
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tY1NvrmC2
「肺腺癌，第三期偏晚。建議你盡快安排更進一步的切片與全身檢查，並與家屬討論治療方向，後天再來做一次檢查。」醫生說完這句，才抬起頭看著他：「你今天是一個人來的？」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡre2QSw9JyN
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT50fQ4Hgty
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxCRJ9ii71
「嗯……我爸媽都在外地工作，不方便過來。」他語氣輕鬆，但指尖抓緊了背包的拉鍊。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kB0mxZZDs
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuOO9MYBVd
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNhAhUXNrD
「這不是小病，孩子。」醫生的語氣比剛才溫柔了些，「如果你信得過我，我們會陪你走下一步，但你要讓身邊的人知道。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4PuOduSe4
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntQoOn3O3D
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FZtn9jH33
夏陽笑了笑：「我知道了。謝謝你。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuo1R3QpKTt
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzRUmsZ9Qn
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaad6m7GOR
—27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuI4fWTuYDL
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6SBMl5GCr
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQPbwk84RM
走出醫院那一刻，陽光很強。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6unNlSNCGx
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP01qY1mrIj
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsRSH9UFOc
他站在門口的陰影下，低頭看著手裡那份檢查報告。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMzbF0k0xO
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YPkom6ZwB
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWu9i776Nd8
手有一點抖。他不記得自己最後一次怕成這樣是什麼時候——是國小第一次騎腳踏車摔倒？還是那次父母吵架，把家裡東西摔得亂七八糟？27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6y8RpXkcF
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMslL1sF1V1
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8aUqxsors
都不是。這種感覺更孤單。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6k6ga5IALn
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nYmSiSQL7
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPIOJMvpq0
他把報告折起來，收進背包最底層。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9Hh6x655e
接著掏出手機，給冬月傳了一則訊息：27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMF1PkaOJ1
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLuoUa6tSG
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghf3RwxcWa
【等等要不要吃甜不辣？我今天嘴巴很饞。】27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImcXXGGJT8
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9HvirWXkj
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbBaT3pOSI
螢幕亮起時，心裡的某個東西也默默碎了一小塊。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1aqizKtC0
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JaEqIMI2C
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVg3GGO6kP
但他的語氣，還是一如往常的陽光。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMEUS6U49J
這天，醫院裡沒什麼人，窗外陰雲低壓，像雨快要落下。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO08yY8lPrN
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoFwx1fUCq
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBUX0LQwEm
賴夏陽坐在診間外，一隻手撐著額頭，一隻手握著手機，螢幕停在一張和陳冬月的合照。照片裡她笑得很甜，笑眼彎彎，而他就在旁邊笑著看她。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVXjQvSbDr
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wtt78mOeW
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmwegySiOL
診間的門開了。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIuGajlkI8
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQqVDCPDMO
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1AeLl9vXs
「賴夏陽，進來吧。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkzBrXSNJe
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpBhnA3gAh
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyBMAN5TfZ
—27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqopiTxQ1m
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuSibE55vK
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MeDLbd42u
這次的報告比上次厚了一些。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnCtVcAqHa
醫生沒有立刻說話，而是翻閱資料，再三確認過數據後才抬起頭。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFU70W9gRyk
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uIB2OzYMD
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8kqlwr8Rc
「夏陽，這次的結果出來了。我們已經進行過切片、影像與血液標記檢查……很遺憾地告訴你——你目前的病情是肺腺癌第四期，癌細胞已經轉移到淋巴與骨骼組織。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ024DU2uEgw
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8njeJXxno
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSBjZvpU7z
他愣了一下，眼睛眨也沒眨，但胸口突然像被重錘打了一下。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFPwSyYrVV
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBoZfzUD6H
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM6MXoEzoJ
醫生語氣盡量柔和：「以目前情況來看，若不接受侵入性治療，存活期大約只剩下三個月左右。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvX2ptoc7Z
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOue9d7apPZ
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdsqIINg1l
「……三個月。」他重複了一次，聲音低得像喃喃自語。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyuPV9y039
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNyX4IbtEG
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1L0WsPYduR
「是。」醫生點頭，「如果願意配合化療、標靶，或許可以爭取更多時間，但這些治療……會很辛苦，副作用也很強。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAl0EZoxtmv
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHq8NA2zIC
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFJDBd9TA0
賴夏陽沒有馬上說話，只是靜靜地坐著，視線落在桌面某個角落。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgtubU6ZL6
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbfiKTEBUG
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0glQ9Izqj
「這些話你今天第一次聽到，可能會很難接受。」醫生遞了一杯水給他，「你需要一些時間，也建議你讓家人知道，這不是你可以獨自扛下的事。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEjgNRpsMU
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIznSI3FBO
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FxUIR3gFx
他看著那杯水，手卻沒伸出去。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYstYFwerx4
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpMQnyJsuc
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZknIwHlqXs
「……謝謝你告訴我。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2Mbc7wBjd
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2hrJRQ0Mj
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bsbpqZ7SU
「夏陽——」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZt5kPw07B
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkjbuHmhor
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03kM1SShLs
「我知道該怎麼做。」他輕輕打斷醫生，語氣還是那麼平靜，「我只是……還有幾個人，我想再陪陪他們，然後，我會處理好我自己的事。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNYHqX6L1c
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtiWn3EU3I
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJ0blGd5WH
—27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWtnqEiX20
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWTGzv9K2g
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9Xkt3LAO0
走出診間的時候，他沒哭。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZUorm8S2n
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOf8baVN1o
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbWkES2ccK
只是手指一直摩擦著褲邊的縫線，像是用這個動作提醒自己還活著。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtFDTm8OKv
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhA0anpleAR
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ONfrAlkTY
三個月。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUutg0O5pU
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXWXW5UZie
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKihkHFduM
這是醫生說出口，但彷彿用刀刻在他心口的字。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjr3BxmWBx
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJdd9sxvqF
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnoKfji9cx
他走到醫院樓下，站在陽光底下。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4H5iTzfjN
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2Kvv7NP1c
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyakvuZ2l25
這天的天氣很好，天空藍得像不會崩塌的夢。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTgWyPORzC
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3pMQAsTgY
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wmQDjaZll
可他知道，自己的世界，開始倒數了。
醫生說，只剩三個月。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEk4LfHhOk
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeFaSyXUel
「不過也有例外。」
「你可以選擇化療，但……機會不大。」
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig43xQ7Fzh
他搖了搖頭。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX94tlBN87M
他想到冬月。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisFlTjhmtf
不行，他不能讓她親眼看見他一點一點地衰弱。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYGBBPQMXz
那會成為她一輩子的夢魘。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQexselngAC
他要把最好的自己，留在她記憶裡。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPY35pmZIR
—
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCzL554zri
那幾天，他突然變得格外貼心，天天接她放學、帶她去吃她喜歡的甜點、看電影、吹風，什麼都順著她。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGbvQwWq3G
冬月察覺到他的異樣，卻說不上來是哪裡。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkb7dpcfj0
她只知道，這幾天像一場夢。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6JxxKKL0O
是他們之間，最美的一場夢。
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—
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZ8KeExfTP
幾天後，他開始變冷淡，不再主動、不再回訊息，眼神也不再柔軟。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLoAc78GLf
她問他：「你怎麼了？」
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvVrQ9G8Hv
他只是淡淡地說：「我們……是不是該給彼此一點空間？」
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbbWCdBQMe
她愣住。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpIRe4LGYG
一顆心，瞬間凍住。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1zzw2W3tq
—
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLVPGVfXBj
然後，他消失了。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxZ63e62Ub
只留下一封信。
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOAo3k9Osh
「小月亮，對不起，我太自私了。我不想讓妳看著我慢慢死去。妳值得更好的人生、更完整的愛。
所以我選擇一個人去走這段路——
到我人生最後的冬天。」
