Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbozyFFwJa
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDq5VmqQDUT
“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCrXWF2moY
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9ZgOgUFXc
The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGIsy3u4WY
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJSDEoNahO
“I love you,” he said.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2019otLPf
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8ZnHdwsEY
“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBRYbQJKMJ
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hEcQd01ux
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWc1YiLo0Zl
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuf1f7ahHM
“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKy43OTn5i
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLZSUyG1eF
“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SxnaZDfNx
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKMSxS5TKW
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMYjXmbj6I
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7bU9VW0PJ
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5W6ahO40G
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUxy8ha2Ww
She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfUPB9uXsI
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAFpdbL1A5
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSTtWmtzC7
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8Hn5RrNtF
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYol5cBoLh
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidgWWt4B69
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjFOVd1wmm
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XxwwLLS9y
She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OF5LWULmF
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxmdvgMLzY
It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLJJJQOP5g
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHWQrtpUXi
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AQcul154C
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xd5PJdCY4
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxNM6T7we7
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8wTUWN8aw
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTbhYhtA94
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YxQPmTvCc
He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCSbCnRkxi
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRzOSHDZ73
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQR8mb5VR5
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMRGWnFiZC
One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8Fi5sXykU
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvWAM5p1TI
“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEnPQdb99p
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qnGx0Djtt
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjmyF4xLzk
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXsgVHfeFh
“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYRXXxAwHs
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcV1OCpZSpB
“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡip4bLT3fZQ
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiTKQqrZSn
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUo09BFmzq
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYRjsA2oAH
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HlgIE1kDr
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyy2tOzXuV
“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ870OF76nNu
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSP01yxqgnC
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWm0XLcp57
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡui6nD7dlXw
“Oh, Master’s then?” 784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUog0oEW2Yj
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTlPMncRkZ
“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKKqmIxHY3
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydgg8EKvMb
“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFVdIRdiRv
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWS8AdIXtM
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmjkmZcZum
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQhGGMxt6M
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdU2scgMnf
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDKzbN9uoK
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu31HVfyibm
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBcA2TbwIv
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjNO3NDSQM
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48fURwF03Z
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpObFgbr4ZH
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48ylCh32SL
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaT1uH9He9y
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbVbFWdzmu
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7gKq8SFrN
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyJopuMSoy
It isn’t possible.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4TgzHIjOd
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNxOV4AIY2
He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKCzVPocv6
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69NQE3QAjI
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcBMVWyGTN
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6imgycgaY
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRyvbmecBq
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8QS2oHtUw
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm9LKYCY2M
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxg8jishxvd
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2Nn6g1ZBB
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFdVcVqrii
Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAtaRLy8on
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JVCzY0z3I
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojPKAJUMUX
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37ZV6esvjp
“Like what?” he said.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiDfAQWZG5
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpV7uhn3LWu
“Getting married, having kids,” she said.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7KM3jgDEz
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJwyGftvjt
“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6leORghrr4
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixDwNCnoFD
“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOtYFQbNfT
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YTr989Efn
Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHmUqnK8wk
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4H28DJOf2
“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnJ5UnyTys
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXAH7vbs27
Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbChjKuvU4n
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh31nIHNYhW
“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lPCG8UViY
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMGP5ReKIj
This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQgytlbj4f
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKrQe2tMqs
Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERlu2YACxW
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSE2j0qnD9E
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCNZY2s2DB
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3TtaQuCLP
“Who are you?” she murmurs.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCvpdJIZ3F
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcU6KPZxWY
He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEUEbLO7Ep
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijXnwO9Sea
“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxX0cqw9D3
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHQDT9Xxjw
“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEQc2qaBBS
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjS0lJweyVa
He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4sa5FTGIa
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4hLYeSUgs
“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgqsWT31b0
784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgS1iA4sOc
He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.784Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG84j1svFz3
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