Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdRaK29osO
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“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3loIPvgryl
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNkVWxMB2R
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“I love you,” he said.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGHNH6NZ5U
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmzvvN9LYj
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“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xVARvSxFM
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“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92rCKcPH7s
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“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsVW7rvUBd
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“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yrFv34ZP9
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“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZE2JHM7xEV
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She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgbCT3tDS1
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The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysPB03OT0q
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcL0pyb1Ii
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjZJkhxP88
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“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCzAxx0weN
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She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6bJ2rKhsM
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It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsKg11cqQi
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He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkDyanXJSH
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Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3Xy2DBjOZ
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He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGCYCkq1lh
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He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfEyQ6RsZm
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He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGv5H9djcW
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One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhJddy7Ves
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“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaS2KdWNKBB
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“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJK8okVGSVu
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“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBwRe8J2HY
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“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorA3H6zZPs
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Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4O4EbryUV
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“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bHwIP7xUy
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“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmojU6jWWhR
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyg6X4zClO
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2G9Rm2GNBQ
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“Oh, Master’s then?” 737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ990xgqfU1v
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“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVu0mG3Z3c
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“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJDS22mMr4
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Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHq1wHrCj8
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“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuVBwTwy4n
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcc46yRcNN
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCakLgRDWc
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTBroBzNaY
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSGpseYe0n
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He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroLu1fqE7T
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He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05BEmoEdvK
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7VI0NwiGf
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvwPJtPgXI
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It isn’t possible.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6Ij4qSPSu
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He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnn8hjr6Inx
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He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOazE88zzQ
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Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqxXJr1I3h
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If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8A0QAdUJKc
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But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9spc9wO9FQ
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Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lgIzXdYxP
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“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfISi5QkGCP
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“Like what?” he said.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouDPV02QEB
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2YMO10tlI
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLZuB6nuxP
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“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrzFXndSc3
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Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92IUq3vXPr
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“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciNMqSzxiQ
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Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGcVjfelfZ
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“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGi9uhYNaGm
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This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0e6KWTCe3T
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Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3z0W7Bx54v
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Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RxjLG8zMJ
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“Who are you?” she murmurs.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47INWvESbu
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He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKA5t4lBXQJ
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“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLX5YK5T81T
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“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZNpbqU06S
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He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqzggSo4kQ
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“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsreqNq1hV
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He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZa8LZJFKx
Penana
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