"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLrrAUDGwq
"Okay, bye."320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4IwHMiYQh
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeLPOR4q79
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcY69XDks7i
At least until I return for another counseling session.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduXV3ghv2a
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDriVHBGaCb
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZa4CrfwUlO
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2t198dicjT
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy33ikhtdaN
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJINDCiGef
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiF496Hjkw5
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2Ce9v3WNy
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IcNJ8Cqup
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGD8cSWKJbe
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYajOd68PnB
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBzOLRmwpW
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyVkwwxofT
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6J8IVIchC
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIKF8dXzje
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKey2YCJdHi
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22wW8RLnxQ
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IKidwyO0N
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKRpb8Hsgr
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAq8zXbX6Oy
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uW6lYPZB0
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXSyy1vGDB
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncVerISLJf
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgNOIGIA8O
This is DEPRESSION.”
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320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNZ7Wr0pvF
