"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwy3UK6lb0m
"Okay, bye."375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKJo6B3pTm
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1yEG9Kus8
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBuEQCwTje
At least until I return for another counseling session.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULGsgMQuHC
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaTRz4oMG0
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpZKxUK0u1
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8ch7MeafN
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHe1ZIZ3cno
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWfRLOcTHm
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoElNsgaQE
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMtxInoRux
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVME9KtbaL
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMBn8oniWH
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8vs3YrtL3
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchQKrgwlQQ
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1UeLqWjvJ
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwbnqQqgBW
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLXypdjhLS
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4Ao91LLbf
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPM5kHPQ12r
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0vsUbshnG
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6P2AUCSJLz
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡen7Px84HYp
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYUo2DfF0v
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkILZDCJbGf
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAn1V3X6sLf
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdk6D32SfzB
This is DEPRESSION.”
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcSppMGg95
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeqtWagYOA
