"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BkdPgYAdM
"Okay, bye."394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyMU0HaFs5
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnWAxFiW5p
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8HZriBiMv
At least until I return for another counseling session.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnxPIfVFLi
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjtGeU2pCf
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Cx7vdkc0Y
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oNwIfMJOo
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIAe3Egw0A
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebFJ0aFFpN
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xT0U8qp3W
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79Ww13xDE5
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGX9tF8Uep
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2wbbE4BvB
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrkBFu5pgM
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDxXizvxMQ
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcBxFnCrHA
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLQu5HOdLL
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkst5NuqaH
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN96IcrwCGa
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIUg5vDGG4
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYt6lS5dMa8
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEiFQpN7aW
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryLFp2wQDV
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4X3x1FH2Y
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75cGNySO03
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxNRuArtGA
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pZClg80v2
This is DEPRESSION.”
394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIrw5HlsZm
394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKRxreFGSg
