"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfubF2PtcoU
"Okay, bye."393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqfuy3AQ21
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0nIwpIwsv
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBva055HRtr
At least until I return for another counseling session.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlUSg9Ke0H
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡby4gxfVDJm
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZM8pM4bST
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroiEjiqcjp
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEM4mZGDcM
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rn8JpR2OH
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OYBDXuHeh
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmW5nOq6hpJ
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp43ZHOhYrj
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBLdOWQj1J
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIzqitHJP0
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIPiy5orQG
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWot0nEZS8
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9TPxqpwGk
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh43CmNGksF
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjq4vdkBCV
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwluhzbiCoV
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ek4cUpcvC
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Er1VnT3bm
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUddw06fwQc
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlJT5RrbXY
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PZ8rY4iN1
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7lhABYEfL
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHniAn1gPhV
This is DEPRESSION.”
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWi5zTSbjN
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToldvL226U
