2009年中,天娜辭了診所助護的工作,聲稱半工讀,邊修讀課程邊做兼職。從此時起,對我明顯疏遠。第7.8章,兩次當我後備、Plan B的事件,也是發生在大約這時。83Please respect copyright.PENANAMA0NpoflcS
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2009年12月,來到和天娜結識後,第3個聖誕節。83Please respect copyright.PENANApXyDsHnMqz
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第1個聖誕節(2007),我結識了慧琳(7.4章)。83Please respect copyright.PENANA3YEy8fD7qV
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第2個聖誕節(2008),我因為慧琳而憤而離場(7.6章)。83Please respect copyright.PENANAVVKKx3H5HR
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第3個聖誕節(2009),又怎樣呢?83Please respect copyright.PENANAXFkGSSpKYB
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早在12月初,已很想找她聖誕節聚聚,但已不敢了,她又沒找我。83Please respect copyright.PENANAzh8vue9E7L
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12月24日,平安夜,我一邊過著典型的毒撚宅男聖誕:上X登論壇圍爐,83Please respect copyright.PENANA837dePhSqC
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一邊聽著鄭伊健的《夜還未深》,歌詞完全是我的寫照:「誰會伴我這聖誕 ......以風為伴 最平淡也是最容易過 ......不眠夜 我還是要獨個來渡過」83Please respect copyright.PENANASaCOXiRrOj
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這幾句,簡直像是度身訂造:「有一刻真的想不管一切去找你 卻又明白再不應出錯 你這一刻定是歡欣興奮開心不過 共聚又是如何」83Please respect copyright.PENANAuCwUFPKwVm
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平安夜聖誕夜,她一定是和一堆「男仔Friend」或不知是否存在的男友在「歡欣興奮開心不過」,我就算找到她「共聚又是如何」?83Please respect copyright.PENANAxaGVsJJ8Uy
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(2019年,最催淚的聖誕節回望:10年過去,沒有最差,只有更差)83Please respect copyright.PENANAib9UbFpDD7
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12月25日,終於等到天娜邀約共進晚餐。我當然應約(亦同時鬆一口氣),但也終於忍不著,豁了出去,投訴她上述當我後備、Plan B行的為。她表面上認錯道歉,但之後的,「當然」,就是進一步疏遠。83Please respect copyright.PENANAjHeRTskiqe
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踏入2010年,不論香港大環境、還是我的際遇,都是死氣沉沉的悶局頹廢膠著狀態。83Please respect copyright.PENANAXw51DrZxe9
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天娜對我,只有持續越來越疏遠和敷衍,見面次數急劇減少,甚至表現出不耐煩,我在她生活中的地位,明顯越來越邊緣化。83Please respect copyright.PENANA5PcH2dU25w
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2010年6月,又忍不著打電話給她,已預計了又是九成以上......83Please respect copyright.PENANAdY6RONUEfv
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但這次竟然是接通,響一秒,被掛線,像是被刻意Cut線,依然是沒留言信箱。83Please respect copyright.PENANA861Pe4p1k2
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我瘋了,瘋狂的重打......不知多少(十)次後,她終於接聽了。83Please respect copyright.PENANANGa6k6NdiI
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我盡量裝作冷靜,問她你的手機怎麼了?電量不足或是接收不良?她說是「鎖電話」。83Please respect copyright.PENANABMQJEenEAf
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她說有一兼職同事是TB,向她示愛(她的人緣之佳、桃花之重,真是可用「超自然現象」形容,當然更痴線的還在後頭),但她不是SheShe,不可能接受TB。之後那TB還不斷電話轟炸,最多一天過百次(好心,報警吧),她唯有「鎖電話」,任何人打給她也自動掛線。83Please respect copyright.PENANAWHRvY6IFII
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但她又沒留言信箱,那我問要怎樣找她?她著我可以照樣打電話給她,即使立即掛線,但有來電紀錄,她會回覆。83Please respect copyright.PENANAzf6sVR8OAR
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我半信半疑,其後,用不只一張太空卡打給她,結果也是一樣,接通後,響一秒,掛線,看來不是特定針對我,我才稍為鬆一口氣。83Please respect copyright.PENANABS1MKOa552
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當然,我知道,她「鎖電話」的方式,可能是「白名單」,不在「白名單」的號碼會自動掛線,而我的號碼不在「白名單」內,這與特定針對我掛線沒多大分別.....但這些無法查證,也想不了這麼多了。83Please respect copyright.PENANAVf3MyTuPQQ
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說回當時,聽完「鎖電話論」後,想約她吃個晚飯。83Please respect copyright.PENANA0C9t0ChAgr
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她雖應約,但明顯不太情願。約定前一小時,還試圖取消:「你係咪嚟緊喇?未開始嚟就算啦,唔好嚟喇。」。83Please respect copyright.PENANADC9bt2WEoE
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我說我已在途中,很快到了,她另一個朋友也在前來途中,她才不太情願地赴 約(她這個朋友,15歲時,與13歲的妹妹一起參加《殘酷一叮》,參賽歌曲 Cookies《心急人上》,被擔任評判的Twins問及「你哋偶像係Twins,點解唱Cookies既歌」)......。83Please respect copyright.PENANAlExofU2XpC
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雖然該次飯局表面上氣氛愉快有說有笑,但也無法掩蓋我內心的失落與痛苦。83Please respect copyright.PENANAKTXogZXedt
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本來已難找的她,還要「鎖電話」,又這個態度,還敢再找她嗎?83Please respect copyright.PENANAkpdeIcmTLL
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果然,這次晚飯後,她音訊杳然。8月我生日,當然也.....,我以為天娜已在我的人生消失了。83Please respect copyright.PENANANKazaltEOK
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很失落,但當時第7.7章提及的塔羅師,指我在2014年有突破,所以,我還很傻很天真地,寄望2014年。83Please respect copyright.PENANAsIpEW1Pl7j
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但之後,世事難料.....83Please respect copyright.PENANAsIfPWsKLWb