2008年2月8日年初二,和肥妹、慧琳在西九圓方海旁看煙花後,不只慧琳,肥妹也有問題。47Please respect copyright.PENANAafk2f6L9D0
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結識她近5年了,講電話時,她從不會提收線,即使她家已開飯,她也會一邊吃,一邊拿著電話,即使Dead air也不提收線。47Please respect copyright.PENANA6XcFqUPjvO
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但這時開始,她好像怪怪的,經常說不到數句就「唔同你講著」,總像不太願和我多談。47Please respect copyright.PENANAGiHMtVT07C
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她說有個關於電腦的問題(詳情已忘),我相約她見面打算協助她解決,她又拒絕出來。47Please respect copyright.PENANATGlEZqH3TX
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2008年4月13日,和天娜結識一週年,又是肥妹生日。我打電話給肥妹,響了數秒,就轉留言信箱。47Please respect copyright.PENANAnK2A8ZbZaO
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甚麼事,很明顯。47Please respect copyright.PENANAsarjB8xWmn
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我還厚著臉皮,留言說生日快樂,今晚出來吃飯嗎?47Please respect copyright.PENANAQNN2vEYXY3
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結果,沒回覆。47Please respect copyright.PENANAvVs7m5qoHZ
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2008年初二煙花,竟然成為我和肥妹最後見面。47Please respect copyright.PENANAf45GtHdtVz
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大家認為,她是否拍拖了?47Please respect copyright.PENANAAOhQwu22ug
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後來,我找塔羅師問卜,順便問一問肥妹消失原因(其實塔羅牌可問過去嗎?),塔羅師一聽便指「咁既樣,九成九係拍拖啦」。47Please respect copyright.PENANAWfXaxFTSG0
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塔羅師著我抽3張牌,抽完,開第1張,便是「戀人」。留意,是我抽的牌。47Please respect copyright.PENANASCa8TO0SEa
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1/78機會,還有話可說嗎?47Please respect copyright.PENANAc4Vxs86TX3
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當然,無從查證。47Please respect copyright.PENANAopPF2zDvDC
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難聽一點說,如果真是拍拖,可見港男的悲哀、香港溝女環境的惡劣、香港婚戀市場人口(我強調是「婚戀市場」)的男多女少嚴重失衡,是誇張到如何匪夷所思。47Please respect copyright.PENANA8Y71kQogAx
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天娜本來也打算找肥妹吃生日飯。我告知她這情況,她就不再找肥妹了,同時肥妹也沒再找她。47Please respect copyright.PENANAkPcR5oPnO3
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反正,天娜朋友滿瀉,也對肥妹感覺不太好。很可能,肥妹只是天娜森林內的一片葉,還要是半枯葉。沒了肥妹,對天娜根本不痛不癢。47Please respect copyright.PENANAh2Erv7zKiV
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但對我就不是了。47Please respect copyright.PENANADfy7scafLu
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肥妹和慧琳,本來和我關係不錯,但竟都在短時間內不知何故惡化至此,接連兩次的打擊,對我傷害極大。尤其是肥妹。47Please respect copyright.PENANATT0nXDM58J
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曾經,我自信爆棚地以為,像肥妹這樣質素的人,我不嫌棄她、願和她做朋友,是她走運。我不嫌棄她的話,我們會是終生朋友,但竟然......47Please respect copyright.PENANAIPtd37ZmuZ
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至此,我的朋友還有誰?47Please respect copyright.PENANA3tGMzi2NSz
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當然就是,經歷了第1.2至6.4章,1993至2007,長達14年的命途多舛(14年,已接近我當時在世年期的一半。這14年,已不計還在穿校服的年代了),食白果過、食檸檬過、傷過痛過不知多少次,才在多個巧合下,萬中無一才結識到的:天娜。47Please respect copyright.PENANAnXKWJU1UTM
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無可避免地,完全感情投射了在天娜身上。47Please respect copyright.PENANArG6RdxdbV6
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2008年6月某晚,我忽然恐懼,繼肥妹和慧琳後,會否連天娜這最後唯一的朋友,也這樣無故離棄我?尤其天娜朋友之多,我只是她森林中的一片葉,絕對多我一個不多、少我一個不少。47Please respect copyright.PENANAq0f11z4Uix
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於是,我在她下班後,打電話給她,如前述,當然又是miss call。47Please respect copyright.PENANAD86IY3lvjq
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我不安的心情,可想而知。47Please respect copyright.PENANAAJxtWMib8f
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打了十多次,她才回覆,說那醫畜腦細帶著她去應酬,所以沒接電話。47Please respect copyright.PENANAaeBg1TyA26
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這個只是開端,此後,我未停止過恐懼她離棄我。上述情況,不斷Loop。47Please respect copyright.PENANAhm1Q717jaY
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最要命的,是和她唯一的聯絡方法,只有她那九成以上miss call的手機。47Please respect copyright.PENANAVMJNyDdznN
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她一miss call,我就慘了,憂心如焚,不停看著自己的電話,希望她盡快回覆。然後少則3分鐘,多則15分鐘,最多最多30分鐘,還未回覆的話,我就喪打給她,最誇張可以一小時內打超過10次。我也知道這是很煩人很嚇人,但我已無法自控......47Please respect copyright.PENANAFYQ810kedp
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更不要說如果傳SMS,待她回覆是多麼痛苦。47Please respect copyright.PENANARhTblKAbLN
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不幸中的大幸是,天娜的miss call,都是響了半分鐘才掛線,不像是她刻意Cut線(當然,可能是刻意不接,又不Cut線)。47Please respect copyright.PENANAtcafv0aqF2
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她終於接聽、或回覆我了,然後相約出來晚飯,或只是隨便聊數句近況,我就覺得鬆一口氣:「Safe!安全了,天娜沒甩我」(這個「甩」不是分手,是絕交)。47Please respect copyright.PENANARs7CLTQloZ
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但少則數天,多則一星期後,又恐懼過,又再Loop.....47Please respect copyright.PENANALR7BNW3LZg
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不好笑的很可笑吧。47Please respect copyright.PENANA0t51Tq5K3o
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因此,我很記得我當時用的那款手機 Sony Ericsson K800i,這些日子,我拿著它看著它,渡過了不知多少這種惶恐不安、牽腸掛肚的日子。47Please respect copyright.PENANALVR3CCcGcR
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還有很記得的是,她選用了一些歌曲作接駁鈴聲,最記得是這些:47Please respect copyright.PENANASomh6sico8
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陳偉霆,《今天終於知道錯》,「明明很想開口認錯 明明清楚早惹禍 望著誰冷落我 又會好過麼 如能從新開始感動過 從頭分享福與禍 念在曾快樂過 道歉可以麼 原諒這日我後悔不過當初 今天終於知道錯」47Please respect copyright.PENANA3K5M0TVrha
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陳柏宇,《你瞞我瞞》,「無言的親親親 侵襲我心 仍寧願親口講你累得很 如除我以外在你心 還多出一個人 你瞞住我 我亦 瞞住我 太合襯」47Please respect copyright.PENANAz8XMEMtXZe
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楊丞琳 ,《帶我走》,(國語)「帶我走 到遙遠的以後 帶走我 一個人自轉的寂寞 帶我走 就算我的愛 你的自由 都將成為泡沫 我不怕 帶我走」47Please respect copyright.PENANA9CLHuO4vuA
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吳若希,《錯過了》,「錯過了你我仍期待 錯過了你更懂得愛 重投愛戀大時代 從前留戀風光不再 難得你願以心對待 錯過了你叫人無奈 錯過了你縱使感慨 仍無悔當初你在 放眼以後 重新相愛 快樂過的片段確實精彩」(這是較後期的)47Please respect copyright.PENANAFMgMg8s2EG
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還有一些不明的英文歌。47Please respect copyright.PENANAyskP0fAKfB
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直到現在,也是只要聽到這些音樂,就會想起那時,手拿電話、耳聽這些音樂、心裡在狂罵「快D聽電話啦死八婆」。47Please respect copyright.PENANAl2yoHcSY8L
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就是這樣,不知不覺中,推了她上神台,開始不可逆轉、漫長的痛苦歲月……47Please respect copyright.PENANAelkLjZUft3
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更痛苦的,是我這樣的心情,不能給她知道,否則我只會更加弱勢更被她食著。當然,我想她也感覺到。47Please respect copyright.PENANAbwNkbpaQ3a
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所以說,冥冥之中的天命,絕不會給我好過、絕不容許我有丁點自信。47Please respect copyright.PENANA83OIPqlioo
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而對天娜,就絕對是神台級受歡迎待遇。47Please respect copyright.PENANAXXhVHo5LcE