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和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後,我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin:「行得。」248Please respect copyright.PENANA8WK4RLY91u
248Please respect copyright.PENANAqnkjUYNhlN
「咁耐嘅?」他問。248Please respect copyright.PENANAJvBcbwY84E
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「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說:「不如今日去掃街,肚餓想食啲嘢。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAZfJUNDKvfs
248Please respect copyright.PENANAz0hriM1jVy
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。248Please respect copyright.PENANAuDt3CVNmdp
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這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學,可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。248Please respect copyright.PENANAotG3NPb873
248Please respect copyright.PENANAqyq56qgLTT
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後,我的心便不再單純。248Please respect copyright.PENANAXndfahesjR
248Please respect copyright.PENANAEJdSp602aW
我開始思考,難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺?到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡?248Please respect copyright.PENANAKymeG3pGeT
248Please respect copyright.PENANAz1A4xvKKH3
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。248Please respect copyright.PENANA1vkc77lBnr
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我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯,能夠和他去掃街真幸運。248Please respect copyright.PENANAyzUZzHpWzn
248Please respect copyright.PENANAuMv66ijOLF
人的想法很微妙,明明沒有事情發生過,我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街,只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。248Please respect copyright.PENANAninKnVpIZ8
248Please respect copyright.PENANAiBz80N7mGe
想法塑造習慣,習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要,光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話,學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。248Please respect copyright.PENANAyurjoiCX5y
248Please respect copyright.PENANA0fbPtmgAdO
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎?生活過於苦悶無新意,對身邊本來平平無奇的東西,從無到有,誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片,內心一陣飄飄然。248Please respect copyright.PENANA6nJBmw425B
248Please respect copyright.PENANAeu8h7TTiMq
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情,還伸手摸摸我的額頭:「你係咪唔舒服?塊面咁紅嘅?」248Please respect copyright.PENANAivMov1pAKc
248Please respect copyright.PENANArQva4ofMKb
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水,嚇得狂咳。248Please respect copyright.PENANAJDrFyHnWc6
248Please respect copyright.PENANAcyZ3EdartI
Kelvin拍拍我的背:「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息?」248Please respect copyright.PENANA449hmUALxX
248Please respect copyright.PENANALuftX5m4TX
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAg1avfiSdJC
248Please respect copyright.PENANAWNUieKx4lZ
「咁蠢嘅人都有,你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。248Please respect copyright.PENANASIHq8nufOo
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我站在Kelvin旁,一邊吃撈麵,一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。248Please respect copyright.PENANAo3z0I97HTC
248Please respect copyright.PENANASMewlYYv7V
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。248Please respect copyright.PENANAURd7tTnRDa
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如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛,會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎?248Please respect copyright.PENANAWgR3tnak6Z
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如果會,戀愛似乎不錯。248Please respect copyright.PENANAEcvVVJiZuN
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「琴日睇新聞好爆阿,韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。248Please respect copyright.PENANAjrLFACFtY5
248Please respect copyright.PENANAz3TzbMEmaU
「係咩?我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂,對外國音樂不熟悉。248Please respect copyright.PENANAPN8LMlq0yk
248Please respect copyright.PENANAm1ksIzzI9p
「原來佢做龜公,開間酒吧做毒竇,仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段,好痴線。」Kelvin說。248Please respect copyright.PENANAW68jW4P5Wy
248Please respect copyright.PENANAazRwwhvV2W
「咁癲?佢好似都幾紅。」248Please respect copyright.PENANALnRUYK1wkK
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「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAQx8ojHsXTs
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「點解咁講?」我問。248Please respect copyright.PENANAug1hGf9qVS
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「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAGKFaOlUuxJ
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「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒,仲會唔會同佢做朋友?」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。248Please respect copyright.PENANAsHXALzx0vY
248Please respect copyright.PENANALgNPrLvH7O
「唔會,我唔會接受。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAmAbzIpw0V2
248Please respect copyright.PENANABWNgFdmJPZ
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢?」248Please respect copyright.PENANANPLLmqAFiL
248Please respect copyright.PENANApvc6YqibMv
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說:「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢,等佢唔好誤入歧途。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAmlZDgojndq
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我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸,鼓勵他離開黑社會:「屋企人吸毒,唔係朋友本人吸毒,唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAW04x8f4iL1
248Please respect copyright.PENANALxfSuHrnM2
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債,以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他,沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。248Please respect copyright.PENANAMQjdms3Jft
248Please respect copyright.PENANAm0lTJ4BTrb
「係好容易呀!如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草,你喺廳都會聞到啦,毒品喺你眼前,又會心郁郁想試。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAvRcyErflyV
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「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩?」248Please respect copyright.PENANAbXyOwB8SPM
248Please respect copyright.PENANAv6tvcnx44d
「阿婆行動不便,點可以相提並論!吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間!你話我歧視都係咁講,同賭錢一樣,無人拎住支槍迫佢,累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算,連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAhN4CC4XATg
248Please respect copyright.PENANA3SH5CrQHGK
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭,管東管西,而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。248Please respect copyright.PENANAg2jUBrgB0w
248Please respect copyright.PENANAxhrZdkrpk2
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者,也很討厭自己的家庭阿!可是家庭的影響一直都在,它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人,同樣避之則吉。248Please respect copyright.PENANAL0aPfm2bx3
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我寧願沒有開口詢問,沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想,變得更自卑了。248Please respect copyright.PENANApP6lXjJN7G
248Please respect copyright.PENANAOpf6CsffiU
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固,他會隨時離棄我。248Please respect copyright.PENANAac4UGaNkIo
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婚姻的承諾都能推翻,更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。248Please respect copyright.PENANACcc34l0ZQ7
248Please respect copyright.PENANAPPCXe8HqCj
「點解人係群體動物?點解人要互相來往?」我喃喃自語:「係自私,係計算?兩個人,一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAvNCfy67TkQ
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「咁功利,一齊開心唔得咩?」248Please respect copyright.PENANAQRz2l96aHD
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「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好,帶自己去認識朋友;可能係對方博學多才,學業上幫到自己;可能係自己孤單,想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始,互相需要,到咗某一日,唔再幫到大家,就自然分開。」248Please respect copyright.PENANA3xGyXie0Gb
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我為未發生的事情擔憂。248Please respect copyright.PENANAekhwyl7vxG
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面對關係看得見的分岔,倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝,無力感擴散。248Please respect copyright.PENANAVWpiwkB4wY
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「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感?」248Please respect copyright.PENANAI7tUioZMfK
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「無呀。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAhPLY5ydIvl
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「我知啦,思春期!中二病!」248Please respect copyright.PENANA6gtMGt7Yw1
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「唔知呀!你話係就係啦。」248Please respect copyright.PENANAScTaS4Tq6b
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人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。248Please respect copyright.PENANAjgwPUI8fZ0
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難過。248Please respect copyright.PENANAd89GYYEWay