187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0qMUclib8
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaO1O6aP6ti
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJjUMKz624
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jTHdzPeEb
「咁耐嘅？」他問。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkeJliShMZ
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAE9bMyo7H
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBxHjgyJCj
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaa1mY2vi8
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXn9lpdKnh
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEb0LtxLpob
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfQDZrVxQj
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZnGTscl4l
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24BrgOawIp
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4Cp8XxnZC
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMAPkYanok
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuczxysfpq
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqarsvWoQC
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jiGU0TyQG
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlAqvJhcfU
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmspanyeBmF
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37knS8iClF
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrDV48UQup
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsDTOmpP0E
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZdNCVjwpT
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMRTpFGDjh
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPKUwu5pfk
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRhytGZoI5
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvV5P7yGAQf
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjFTu3TwvG
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTvZ81a6OG
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKS7UgBzso3
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4YGZjNRnC
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TqfVVubcQ
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLzn9HfDAw
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ381aycvfJU
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDd0HxlwCbs
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsh2wOoGrQA
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Cn3It56xp
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2fCGCYv9C
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMWnjkTvgd
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxohmbJvMS
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1cGzedUyu
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lxLMGol1Q
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdXFJXRJXq
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2muhl43X6j
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRpBRX704G
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdrOGB7w9i
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIYsOf4ow3
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefKx06BruI
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkbkNgO8sC
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tbVp55uah
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenMTHubGd3
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIa0mC4oAae
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuBv7dDfkU
「點解咁講？」我問。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Zt4EWLSHc
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVAoC8kb6K
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFBbAq5PwS
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vLwhVrHGN
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3saRzk3KA9
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ545rrqvbSm
「唔會，我唔會接受。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXxv2ASSip
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxtj1sWfQj
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwAq18UTHL
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPQAJMeu4i
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMK8uMmasoQ
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TgD9AAqxH
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8CDxIF3ed
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaCpkcdfcL
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhhUv4153E
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhgVrp4kyb
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgZ18NxOj7
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UJJSANXZO
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5E078K7pve
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVFZVklgSJ
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnoQjLtKg6
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43jBr7LyfQ
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMMnZ9a5JZ
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprs68UcSgU
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOZsehnx81
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvhoiXYMly
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVZOJPFFOs
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRzModq3Sy
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aSYeP6Zwg
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtgads1TDL
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVuE10pUel
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUr51BwJ6R
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkh8mKrQjLs
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NrlZ8Jb2c
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh3aqogk82
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHF89YUy7k
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhIkj8vT9l
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡur0SKhAJTS
我為未發生的事情擔憂。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogLXDp2TGq
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLL3fxgUfME
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsLMjBBSLv
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxiYS5yacu
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHdAOQUOaF
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2spYizkg5K
「無呀。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyHXBs9Ato
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02M3kPdw5l
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecl6ZxZdb3
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCacOQ2YR3Y
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4bRzON9XN
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweAVBh8eVe
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyB4aPoGhq9
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQroGj4oo7H
難過。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxRnU2E22n
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