157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWmzuMPJMh
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0s2WXaNjuo
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm114eFgyxc
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsJXmQKQNm
「咁耐嘅？」他問。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMHFrT1iAJ
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RAjGoP4uw
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXFH9LusJI
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmccAUamhxU
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzcgyE3X9W
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KSuojgwSU
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybWYy6jkt8
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnz6weULTa
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqlo30NAUd
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX33BkoboKE
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8bntrbekZ
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcsQO6JUaH
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCU2sOFJdC
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLDrXlHPbd
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJRxEjEIWv
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NsAkKtZ5O
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pLxyWHDKU
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKvZF62yx5
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4K4FpOPO7Q
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfi23GeX1Ah
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxF7Zu7uDYA
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zEDHmGvvE
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07CEEKhopg
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUeHrqFvxy
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdjOUzD2CC
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAjI2d4nUu
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1Tc3lUo6B
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY07CxHz6IC
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIMH3GXS7z
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRUhZla1OM
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHXqqw15mI
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfbRsbnFZg
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WjC41w8jA
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfrAtmG10M
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qI5zieA3j
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvvcjgHOie
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrepd2vqQ8v
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZG5JLC0wl
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDG0v3mpgKC
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAcsGIa2eC
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhzsgvdhxJ
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuwphYYmGy
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOO4UtuEbbI
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKFby7qnmG
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Rkpwsou5M
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN79qHNYrPq
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzWqr5ol9L
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuzVUyTjgr
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC91xxoboUa
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSNtBJUk3P
「點解咁講？」我問。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAY8wGbYdp1
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhEpEaNjdV
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FmccahVXJ
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcYAPuNCLs
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyyfMLOXjH
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgnxmIpcIm
「唔會，我唔會接受。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkgoZ4fWro
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFrUNYD2cJ
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq05cPAMYa1
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa138j0cXhf
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbh5iXs95cv
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04UBbzEUfx
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxNMUPdt9B
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zPfLx2eyV
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxFhAE5cOQ
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmI01822di
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfU49ExotLQ
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mN79n1F9J
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEw3zAXuT7A
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqWlWPl4wI
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhSPZmYb0y
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP18rNEptdR
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0aEtRuovl
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cKQvNjmHR
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBn4aXugLS
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvPcvSN9Ae
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9HrFwadYA
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9U9anA21Q
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCdpwxbsy3
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqwi4ALilx
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwAwaBFuc6
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVgmTr0zM4
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnyoDIdRYL
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaGvCAo6X2
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuYDULk1EY
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflIZflkVKh
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhMS2MSOIl
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlJCmxQetQ
我為未發生的事情擔憂。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmS40Xq8mW
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9yeT9a3tC
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnlFq39tH5
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9EFlF4Aih
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7TECgTvfO
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDn2enahL4
「無呀。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaav1si5Ja
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhttv56pxP
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaATJWc7PV
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPuHBmWqjO
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdL1a6z8v7R
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24rUJRVa5F
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEZXTpzqym
157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVZ8c3Lx82
難過。157Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15DBvuhz0o
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