I Fell Off The Edge Of The World Today - I Lost My Hope One Sunday | Penana

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#23

I Lost My Hope One Sunday

ADLondon

Jan 21, 2016

1013

1 Min Read

x

I lost my hope one Sunday,

The sky a lovely cloudy blue,

The sun warming my hands,

And bringing me its light,

That, a sweet day of May.

I find my mask come Monday,

Smoothing deep over deep cracks,

Until all I see is what they see,

A smiling me happy to be,

My silly lie being this is me.

I’ve had enough one Tuesday,

Shrieking for the end of hell,

This energy makes me feel alive,

This harsh silence that follows,

Makes me want to die.

I’m back together on Wednesday,

Patched enough for function still,

Sewn, taped and glued stiff,

Still I find myself unravelling,

My nerves fray with each day.

Ice surrounds me one Thursday,

Everything done is done is numb,

And everything comes and leaves,

Leaving me alone in this world,

Mechanical and cold.

I feel the sun come Friday,

At least feeling his hand in mine,

I thought I’d be okay,

Scattered days in May were fine,

For that boy ever so kind.

My heart breaks one Saturday,

When I set him free,

Too harsh a life for him and I,

When I am spread too thin,

And scattered in the breeze.

I lost my hope one Sunday,

And on the next it didn’t return,

But still I linger here like this,

Breathing air feeling the sun,

Knowing,

Not hoping,

It gets better than this.

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Table of Contents

#2 Who Cares If I'm The Cat?

#3 Packing a Swimsuit

#4 I Didn't Get An A

#5 Three Words, Four Syllables, Nine Letters

#6 Give Me The Brush

#7 Sitting In English Class

#8 Planning Part 1

#9 I'm Glad This Plan Failed (Planning Part 2)

#10 The Perfect Candidate

#11 Crushing My Fairies

#12 A Sitting Duck's Nature

#13 A Brief Summary of My Academic Experiences

#14 The "You Tried" Ribbon

#15 I get nervous sometimes (a lot)

#16 Tuning Out Nothing

#17 Romance of The Romance Languages

#18 I'm Smiling

#19 I'm Not As Okay As I Said I Was

#20 Gravel Beaches

#21 The Red Onesie Sestina

#22 Interpretation

#23 I Lost My Hope One Sunday

#24 I'm Smiling Reprise

#25 To A Friend

#26 Service With A Smile

#27 I don't believe him

#29 The Worst Was November

#30 Chronic Illness