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-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePYfKRb5Sv
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「喂，華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目？無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦？」198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBNNp75rHI
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7eR14etOD
問返果時做咩咬鳩我？佢話，因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦，就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我，都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往，做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtTayhqhvw
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE21EEStKy0
「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸，噴到成身都係。」我話。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6acaUvC5Q8
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdKTOuTLxq
「哈哈，我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩！」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice，有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩？咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKSNlerrKS
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEzMulhHDf
鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁，典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理，因為佢吸親既，都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹，有邊種妹佢未食過？所以呢，佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDuE699y5Z
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVkmcMmn80
我地住埋同一個單位，位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近，不防留意下果有架老爺benz，就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatNTVoGN5Q
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleRkoo2bLK
不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣，因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地，渣架車過老蘭？佢先唔會啦，過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車，費事電池無電，叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJp3pMqq0E
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlMQZ2po8u
（旁白：點解你地成日乜都話貴？）198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66Md0Zblfh
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkm2VbO2hcP
屌啦，吸血鬼都要洗錢架！我地要一日2餐，一個月要飲一次人血，果兩餐唔係錢呀？仲有交租呢？燈油火蠟呢？香港做咩唔洗錢架？做吸血鬼，係香港仲難生存，都唔知邊忽有血！鬼佬就話唔洗點做野，幾百年前銀行D錢，今日仲收緊息，都咪話唔和味！至於我，就係雙失吸血鬼。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80ESyiKNbj
失業、失戀。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLi4Y2fYG4
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6FUm1WgYt
不過咁，呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCs6bmdfNFf
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOQ5dCxZt5
呀係，小姓劉，名叫做華仔，德華。因為我好鐘意做愛，所以d人又會叫我做愛德華，或者華仔。二十年前，1996年係24歲。今年，2016年，個樣仍然係24歲。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeGu1FtHRf
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWiRQ1SrrW
當年未有SARS，大學生好吃香。今年，大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間，讀左個degree，但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物，除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既，不過環境太嘈了，吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGEqIDqYUG
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoCsmseBJH
但係，最近見左份新工，希望可以搵到食啦...我諗，應該都幾過癮既。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAOyvFTqfD
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhytDZLmAvH
====================================================198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTRQvMAmOA
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOgxhDXbZM
「華仔下嘛，請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKufkCMTmxq
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkeBRj0sNV
「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcuxh8UZOb
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fbpQWj3bO
「先生，我都想請你除左副超先，我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgeH9pQTaX
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmSCtDIzpu
超，除咪除！吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐，唔代表見光會死。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wnWIeFIiL
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51gZnavViJ
「愛德華先生，想請問下你對於你申請既職位，有幾了解？同埋有咩期望呢？」個女人問我。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeqQz1zBJc
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06rEe0RRYd
「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzS4Ia0Dcg
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XDuUmzY8u
「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物，一定要以特定方法令佢死亡，唔係只係殺。你知啦，香港地呀嘛。」198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwafxv4Mlu
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4noK9RxnE8
無錯，我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦，點都要靠D門路先至搵到。（唔好問我邊度搵）198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQl4sd2w3J
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYtB6BdrRc
（旁白：香港有殺手架咩？）198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3q6Xi5tMP
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVX5cG0M5Nf
你地以為香港無殺手？哈哈，咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦，每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話，除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外，都係殺手所為。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycrTG5NftN
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAgAUwy93V
「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢？」198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBvR9D33gv
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz1yC4H8fb
「我地係你正式加入前，唔可以講太多。」女人話。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwSItdp7Cd
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6eVCG1gQc
「咁我加入囉。」我說。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMXSCEk9g6
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkOYwcbv2C
「等等先....先生，我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身，指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外，刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面，你可以用任何方法。」198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKHLZrkwAI
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjxVz1rvWh
我望住檯上面，有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒，就係無槍。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKaP6iCoQi
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadPvoXT7uE
不過都好，比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀？198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKv240yiRig
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SrVwQGld7
「開始得未呀？」我問。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjlpqhz0KB
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnudBTzAIbO
女人點頭。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3cKgCXKFV
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsNxIkYEgO
難得有機會，我當然要玩返少少花招啦，豈有此理個女人睇少我？區區一個人類....睇少我？198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIdPebPJJI
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGMgaKblwA
「颯！」一下風聲，紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎，係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlj6a5oOxu
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72FeKJatTP
「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架？」198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttwiMzar0U
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkSvyCZnzC
「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmvWLx21yS
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOm64ngT5e
「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功？」198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWsg3FqgTs
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfnQQteXoi
我轉一轉個方向再擺pose：「都係秘密。」198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDy2YAs8iyR
198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBwFXZ8IZc
