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-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyv8ww1Zoz
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「喂，華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目？無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦？」186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWhztm11aB
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyOQem6DeT
問返果時做咩咬鳩我？佢話，因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦，就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我，都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往，做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYy7sX1VBx4
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpHnofdhwK
「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸，噴到成身都係。」我話。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWHziZbLGO
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEHBUfmVMk
「哈哈，我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩！」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice，有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩？咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2kesaCCGm
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnC7cDiBO0D
鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁，典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理，因為佢吸親既，都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹，有邊種妹佢未食過？所以呢，佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxCSj1nIlo
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aP9GGTl58
我地住埋同一個單位，位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近，不防留意下果有架老爺benz，就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVuEqqx2jh
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzhDZZwD4c
不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣，因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地，渣架車過老蘭？佢先唔會啦，過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車，費事電池無電，叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCqZlErHYd
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemyAV0LQEN
（旁白：點解你地成日乜都話貴？）186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvnEnQ2SnW
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbuZMRfBWn
屌啦，吸血鬼都要洗錢架！我地要一日2餐，一個月要飲一次人血，果兩餐唔係錢呀？仲有交租呢？燈油火蠟呢？香港做咩唔洗錢架？做吸血鬼，係香港仲難生存，都唔知邊忽有血！鬼佬就話唔洗點做野，幾百年前銀行D錢，今日仲收緊息，都咪話唔和味！至於我，就係雙失吸血鬼。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HiZqLaD9y
失業、失戀。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rJYTzbEl1
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOY3LS6C5o
不過咁，呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlK4Ay47PtT
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHa90bofVLt
呀係，小姓劉，名叫做華仔，德華。因為我好鐘意做愛，所以d人又會叫我做愛德華，或者華仔。二十年前，1996年係24歲。今年，2016年，個樣仍然係24歲。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ477Yg5sphp
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rlxV3ZOZD
當年未有SARS，大學生好吃香。今年，大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間，讀左個degree，但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物，除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既，不過環境太嘈了，吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBdRvWhIkE
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFrFXpqr1f
但係，最近見左份新工，希望可以搵到食啦...我諗，應該都幾過癮既。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfQCA1aCLO
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jBB4B9JzJ
====================================================186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTcBVvbcJY
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXK4LdWqLtH
「華仔下嘛，請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZV0TEXWidh
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2IdGR4ZJ7
「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOMxdpXhOD
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HuJnbOErb
「先生，我都想請你除左副超先，我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboy8xrqaUZ
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGizEjPtWK4
超，除咪除！吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐，唔代表見光會死。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2EHgloC4D
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCVvOxzNJg
「愛德華先生，想請問下你對於你申請既職位，有幾了解？同埋有咩期望呢？」個女人問我。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDz4wn1wgsP
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkp0XwZ86TS
「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyuQHPTs0R
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajzxHido2R
「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物，一定要以特定方法令佢死亡，唔係只係殺。你知啦，香港地呀嘛。」186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhF5tiLTCv
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4X4FjQBR7
無錯，我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦，點都要靠D門路先至搵到。（唔好問我邊度搵）186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Boy9GGufN
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCq0XTrxMv
（旁白：香港有殺手架咩？）186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfgjQ0H0hi
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrKq2VZsKh
你地以為香港無殺手？哈哈，咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦，每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話，除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外，都係殺手所為。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2bvdHggOB
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3gdv9J2An
「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢？」186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMstxWrbFmH
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUF9PYba6U
「我地係你正式加入前，唔可以講太多。」女人話。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpI4kOaj2HG
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClzd0dKpga
「咁我加入囉。」我說。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllEIFMQZoL
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3ntEaXfEK
「等等先....先生，我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身，指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外，刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面，你可以用任何方法。」186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OSvhLx12U
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EbGvoEX4J
我望住檯上面，有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒，就係無槍。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5a1fkYWIGr
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmptHMoBVev
不過都好，比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀？186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZVydzyDb7
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFuOMS6sbS
「開始得未呀？」我問。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWQrZtvgaX
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6tOdE8GLN
女人點頭。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lGs30WwMW
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEYk1soIvD
難得有機會，我當然要玩返少少花招啦，豈有此理個女人睇少我？區區一個人類....睇少我？186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNkifpd96P
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkOFvXsmJu
「颯！」一下風聲，紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎，係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZte76PDO9
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7qN9A8Hto
「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架？」186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlpswgJzsL
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKZhgMWP3x
「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡava9xkTf4z
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXZ29b0k2z
「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功？」186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3U0R3VPVMj
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd0RLsTeTw
我轉一轉個方向再擺pose：「都係秘密。」186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjkXq1YaVj
186Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzMofXhb1s
