x
"Eh...!!" My classmate and homeroom teacher looked shocked as they stared at me.
"Really!? Is that you, Mikoto-san?" my teacher asked, still unable to believe it was me.
"What is it, sensei? Come on, this is really me. Don't you believe me?" I spoke with confidence, unlike my old shy self.
I wanted to follow my big sister's advice about socializing with others.
"Yes... Um... can I enter the classroom now?" I added.
"Yes, go ahead," my teacher said.
"Is that really Mikoto-san?" my classmates whispered to each other.
"Yeah, she looks different—not just her appearance, but the way she talks too," said another.
“Okay, Mikoto-san, present,” she said, marking my attendance record.
I entered my classroom and sat at my desk. “It's been a while since I was here”.
After taking my seat, I noticed most of my classmates staring at me.
"Why are they still staring at me? Did I do something wrong? Is there something on my face?" I thought, as I checked my face.
"Okay everyone, pay attention here. I know you're all focused on Mikoto-san right now, but we're still in class. You can speak with her afterward," said my homeroom teacher.
We continued with homeroom until my teacher completed the session.
Before she left, she said to me, "Mikoto-san, during break time, could you come to the staff room? We need to talk, okay?"
"Yes, I'll come there later," I replied.
After the teacher left, many of my classmates approached me, surrounding my desk.
"Are you really Mikoto-san!?" "You're kidding!" "How did this happen!?" "What happened to you!?" they all exclaimed, shocked by my appearance.
"Wait, wait, everyone. Don't all ask at once. I'll explain, okay?" I said to calm them down.
"That's right. She just returned today. Don't crowd her suddenly," said the class rep, helping me.
With the class rep's help, they managed to settle down.
"Um, Mikoto-san, we heard your mother passed away a few weeks ago. Are you really okay right now?" asked the class rep.
"Yeah, we were so worried when you were absent for so long. We thought something bad happened to you," another classmate added.
What is this? Why are they suddenly curious about me? Didn't they ignore me before? Did something happen during my absence, or did they actually care about me all along and I just didn't notice? I'm so confused right now.
I should just explain everything to them.
"Actually..." I then explained to them everything that happened since my mother passed away and how I had lost so much weight.
"I see, so that's what happened to you," said one of them.
"Yeah, poor you and your family for losing your mom," said another who sympathized with me.
"Also, Mikoto-san, actually we all want to apologize for isolating you before. We're truly sorry," said some of them.
"Yeah, I want to apologize too," said another.
Wait, what? They're apologizing to me? This isn't a dream, right? I thought while pinching my own hands to confirm it.
Ouch, this was not a dream... so this is for real. If they want to apologize, then I'll just forgive them.
"Don't worry about that. I'm not feeling sad about it anymore, and I forgive you guys for everything," I replied to them.
They felt relieved that I forgave them.
"Let's forget the past and become friends, okay?" I added.
"Yes, let's become friends, Mikoto-san," they said. "Just call me Akemi, okay?" I said.
"Yeah, let's become friends, Akemi-chan," they said.
Then my relationship with my classmates was fixed, and I started being friends with them from that moment.
After they finished talking to me, they returned to their seats. Then, the class rep approached me.
"I don't believe this, Mikoto-san. You've changed so much - not only your appearance, but also the way you talk has changed. You're no longer shy like back then, and you seem more confident."
"Really? Is that so? Well, I want to move forward from now on. I don't want to be shy like that anymore. Also, thanks to my family for supporting me through this," I replied.
"I see, you want to change yourself, huh?" she said.
"Also, thanks, class rep. Even with a little hesitation, you did help me a bit before," I said.
"Don't worry, it's not a big deal. It was my duty as class rep, and I'm ready to help if you need me," she said before leaving after she saw the teacher coming from outside the classroom.
The second period teacher entered, and classes continued until lunch break.
During lunch break, I met my homeroom teacher in the staff room to discuss my situation.
After telling her everything, I returned to my classroom.
As I went inside my classroom, some of my classmates invited me to join them for lunch.
"Akemi-chan, do you want to join us having lunch together?" they said.
"Ah, sorry, I have to go somewhere, maybe next time," I replied, apologizing because I refused their invitation.
I walked to Hikaru-kun's classroom with my bento box as usual, but he wasn't there. Hmm, is he absent today?
Since Hikaru-kun wasn't there, I took my bento box to the school garden and ate at the same bench as before.
At first, I was eating alone, before Hikaru-kun suddenly sat beside me. Hikaru-kun asked if it was okay for him to sit there.
Hikaru-kun? Why is he here suddenly? I thought he was absent. Wait, does he not recognize me?" I replied it was okay.
Hikaru-kun said thank you and he started eating his bento. I stayed silent, feeling awkward.
Then Hikaru-kun said that he had never seen me there before, and asked if I was a new transfer student.
I told him I wasn't a new transfer student, but lied that it was my first time eating there.
Hikaru-kun said, "I see," and apologized for asking suddenly. I said it was okay, he wasn't doing anything wrong.
Then I said, “You're Hikaru-kun, right? From class 1A?” I tried to talk to him after not seeing him for a while, breaking our silence.
"Oh, you know about me, huh?" he said.
"Well, you're so famous and everyone talks about you among first-year students," I lied again.
Also, I know Hikaru-kun doesn't like standing out and runs from his classmates attention to get some space for himself.
"Haha, I'm not that famous, that's just a rumor," he said. I just smiled looking at his chuckle.
Gathering my courage, I asked, "Is it okay if I sit with you here?"
"What are you saying? I'm okay with everybody. Don't put yourself down like that," he said.
Hikaru-kun really doesn't judge people by their appearance, I thought.
Then Hikaru-kun spoke up, "By the way, have you seen a chubby girl around here?
"It's been a while since I've seen her. Did she transfer somewhere else?" he said, mentioning my old self.
Wait, is Hikaru-kun looking for me? I thought. I wanted to tell him I was that same girl but couldn't find the courage.
Then I lied to Hikaru-kun once again, "No, I've never seen her. Maybe she got transferred as you said."
"I see, then it can't be helped. Maybe she had reasons to transfer," he said. I just stayed silent and nodded in agreement with him.
As we ate our bento, a girl suddenly approached Hikaru-kun, grabbing his arm. "Found you, Hikaru-kun," she said.
I was shocked by her sudden appearance
"Hey, what are you doing eating here suddenly? Why didn't you join me and the others in the classroom earlier?" she said.
"Ah, you, Misaka. I wanted some space for myself today, that's why I'm eating here," Hikaru-kun sighed.
Then the girl noticed me sitting beside Hikaru-kun and said, "What is this? You're sitting here with another girl? Are you cheating on me?"
When I heard her say that, I felt a snap inside and thought, What's with this girl acting like Hikaru-kun's girlfriend?
Then I said, "It's not like that. Hikaru-kun just sat here suddenly."
I tried to speak with a polite tone and calm myself down because Hikaru-kun was present.
"Oh, I see. I thought you were trying to steal Hikaru from me," she said.
"Ah, you're so loud," Hikaru replied, annoyed.
“Sorry about this. She just acts like that," Hikaru-kun apologized for the girl's behavior.
"It's okay, it's not a big deal," I said.
"Come on, Misaka, let's return to our classroom, you disturb her for lunch." Hikaru-kun smiled and bowed to me as he excused himself to return to his classroom. I just nodded and smiled at him.
Hikaru-kun walked away, leaving the girl behind. “Wait, Hikaru-kun! Why are you walking so fast? Geez…” she sighed.
She turned to me, clicked her tongue—Tsk!—and snapped, “Hey, listen this. Hikaru-kun was mine. Don’t ever you make a move on him.”
I froze, shocked by her blatant warning.
“Hey, what are you doing? Hurry up!” Hikaru-kun called to her from afar.
“I’m coming!” she called back. “Don’t forget that, okay?” she said to me with a sinister smile before running to catch up with Hikaru-kun.
After they left, I walked back to my classroom alone in the school corridor, deep in thought.
Geez, that girl interrupted my sweet moment with Hikaru-kun. Irritation surged through me, and I clenched my fist.
Wait, I think I've seen that girl before, I thought, trying to remember her.
Oh, that's her, the girl who told me, "So, you have eyes for Hikaru-kun also, huh?" I remembered her words from before.
That's why I felt so irritated earlier.
What her name again? Misaka…is it?
Damn, what's with her attitude? So annoying!
Calm down Akemi, you just returned to school today and fixed your relationship with your classmates. Don't let anger ruin everything, I thought.
I suddenly realized I had already arrived at my classroom.
As I entered my classroom, I smiled at my classmates and acted like nothing bad had happened earlier. Then I continued through the rest of the school day until the last class.
After the last class ended, my classmates waved at me as they packed their bags. A few smiled and said, “See you tomorrow, Akemi-chan!” Their voices were friendly, but I still felt awkward.
I'd never experienced anything like this before. I nodded and said goodbye, then hurried home.
As I arrived at my house and entered the building, I called out, "I'm home."
In the living room, my sister, who was already back from her school, greeted me: “Oh, Akemi-chan, welcome back!”
She was folding laundry and looked at me “How was school today? Did something good happen? Were they shocked by your appearance change?” she asked.
Excitedly, I told my sister everything that had happened at school that day, and she listened calmly to my story.
I even told her I’d finally talked to Hikaru-kun again after so long, but I didn’t mention that Misaka girl to her.
"That's nice, Akemi-chan. Not bad---in just one day, you managed to fix your relationship with your classmates and even talked with Hikaru-kun. I'm glad for you," she said excitedly.
"Well, it's all because of you who helped me with all of this. Thanks, onee-chan," I said.
"But keep it up, Akemi-chan. I'm sure you'll be able to get closer to Hikaru-kun after this," she said.
“Well, I’m not sure about that, but I will do my best,” I said.
“Yes, that’s the spirit,” my sister replied.
“Okay, onee-chan, I’ll go to my room now. It’s too tiring; I want to rest first.”
“Okay, go ahead,” she replied. I then moved to my room on the upper floor.
As I entered my room, I threw my bag aside and jumped, lying on my bed.
I stared at the ceiling, replaying the moment Misaka interrupted my first real conversation with Hikaru-kun. I clenched the bedsheet, frustrated at how easily Misaka dismissed my presence.
Ugh, that Misaka girl! I muttered to myself, still feeling the irritation from lunch. Who does she think she is, acting like Hikaru-kun's girlfriend?
I sat up, knees pulled tightly to my chest.
After weeks away from school and finally building courage to change myself, this girl just waltzed in and ruined my moment with Hikaru-kun.
The way she grabbed his arm so casually made my stomach knot.
"Are you cheating on me?" Her words repeated in my head like an annoying alarm clock. They weren't even dating—at least, Hikaru-kun never mentioned anything about that before.
Despite the frustration, I wasn't going to give up. The old me would have retreated immediately, but not anymore. I'd worked too hard on changing myself to let someone like Misaka push me back into my shell.
"I won't lose to her," I said to my reflection. " I've changed too much to back down now."
I stood up, smoothed my clothes, and took a deep breath. 'I need time to figure things out,' I told myself. 'I won't rush into talking with Hikaru-kun. I should observe the situation between him and Misaka first.
With that decision made, I felt a little better. I walked to my door to join my family for dinner.
Whatever happened with Hikaru-kun and Misaka, I wouldn't let it ruin today's progress. My classmates were accepting me, and I was finally starting to accept myself.
I went downstairs to help prepare dinner. During the meal, I told my family how my classmates had apologized and welcomed me back.
I didn’t mention Hikaru-kun or Misaka—some things I kept to myself.
A few days passed, and I settled into a new routine at school. Things were different now—better.
My classmates included me in their conversations and activities, even inviting me to lunch most days. We laughed and chatted about normal school things. Occasionally, I joined them for karaoke after school. It felt nice to finally be part of the group.
Still, I couldn't help but keep an eye on Hikaru-kun.
Sometimes I'd walk past his classroom, pretending I was on my way somewhere else, just to catch a glimpse of him. But almost every time, I saw Misaka there, hovering around him, talking animatedly while he listened even though he seemed a bit annoyed with her.
But why did Hikaru-kun keep tolerating her, even when she annoyed him? Was there something about Misaka that drew him in?
As days turned into weeks, I noticed Misaka lingering around Hikaru-kun more often, it made me so envious looking at them from a distance.
It bothered me, but I tried not to show it, trying to convince myself they were just close classmates.
Even seeing them like that, my feelings for Hikaru-kun didn’t change, and I wasn’t giving up on him yet.
A month passed. One day, during lunch break, I was sitting with my classmates eating lunch together.
One of my friends then said, "Hey, did you hear? Hikaru-kun from Class 1A is starting to date Misaka.
"Oh, that famous rich boy, right? I always hear about him from others," said one friend.
"Also that Misaka girl is not bad either. I heard she has talent in drawing, and just won an award in a competition last few weeks," said another friend.
"No wonder they fit together. I'm so envious of them," they said together.
I froze in shock, my chopsticks dropping onto the table.
"Is that true?" I asked them.
My friend then said, "I just heard it as a rumor. I'm not sure about it.”
Then another friend said, "What's wrong, Akemi-chan? Your face turned pale."
“Wait, don't tell me you have feelings for Hikaru-kun?" said another.
I chuckled as I picked up my chopsticks again. "What are you guys talking about? No way I'd be a match for a famous guy like him."
But inside, my thoughts were racing. Wait, they became a couple? Since when? I couldn't believe it. It had to be a rumor.
After lunch, I immediately went to visit Hikaru-kun's class. When I peeked in, Hikaru and Misaka were enjoying a conversation together.
Unlike before when Hikaru-kun seemed annoyed with Misaka, today was different. He was actually smiling and laughing at something she said. He seemed happy with her.
My heart sank. The rumor was true. My chest tightened as I watched them laugh together.
I leaned against the wall as a few tears slipped down my cheeks.
Why her, why not me, Hikaru-kun?
So, is this the end for me? Was I too late—or just too afraid to reach out to him properly, until I ended up losing him to her? I thought to myself.
I couldn't think straight and felt defeated. I sighed and accepted my loss to Misaka, then quickly wiped my tears.
I've had enough. He's clearly happy with her. There's no place for me anymore. I lost. I should just go back to class.
I walked back to my classroom, hiding my sadness. My friends immediately noticed anyway.
"Akemi-chan, what's wrong? You look a bit sad. Did something happen?" they asked me.
"It's nothing. I just read a sad novel earlier, and it really made me sad," I lied to them. I didn't want to tell them that I was sad because I was losing Hikaru-kun.
I sat down at my desk and suddenly remembered what my late mom said to me, "You need to be strong. Be yourself and be honest about your feelings."
"What do you mean, mom? I don't know how to be honest with myself and my feelings. I'm not that strong as you want," I thought to myself.
When the final bell rang, I turned toward my friends who were packing their bags.
"Hey, do you guys want to go to karaoke today?" I suggested.
"Huh? That's sudden. It's rare for you to suggest it," said my friend.
"Well, I'm free today. I’ve got nothing to do at home," I replied.
"Why not? Let’s go," one of them said.
"Yeah, sounds fun! Count me in too," said another.
I wanted to distract myself from what happened today and forget about my sadness. We went to the nearby karaoke place where many students from our school hang out after classes.
For two hours, we sang, laughed, and ate snacks together. I sang loudly to upbeat songs, trying to enjoy myself.
But even with all the noise and fun, I still couldn't forget about Hikaru-kun and Misaka. Each time I stopped singing, I remembered them laughing together in the classroom.
After karaoke, we said goodbye and headed our separate ways. Walking home alone, all the feelings I pushed down came back.
When I arrived home, I called out, "I'm home."
"Welcome back, Akemi-chan," my sister greeted me from the living room. She was folding laundry as usual.
I tried to smile and walk past her toward the stairs, but she noticed something was wrong.
"Akemi-chan, what's wrong?" she asked. "What happened in school today? Please tell me..."
I turned to face my big sister, and tears started falling from my eyes. I walked over and hugged her while crying loud.
"Akemi-chan, why are you crying?" she asked, hugging me back.
"Don't tell me you're still being bullied and isolated? Tell me who did it to you, I'll make sure they regret it," she said firmly.
I shook my head. "No, it's not because I was bullied. It's something else," I replied between sobs.
My sister pulled back slightly. "Something else? What do you mean?" she asked.
After calming down enough to stop crying and wiping my face, I told her everything about Hikaru-kun and Misaka– how I saw them together today and how the rumors about them dating seemed to be true.
"I see," my sister said after listening. "So the person you liked, Hikaru-kun, already has a girlfriend. Poor you..." She gently patted my head to comfort me.
"Onee-chan," I said after a moment.
"What is it?" her sister replied.
"Is it okay if I give up on him already?" I asked.
My sister replied, "It's up to you, Akemi-chan. You decide for yourself. If you think this will hurt your feelings, better to forget him for your sake. “
"I see," I replied.
"I'm not forcing you, but it's your decision, okay," my big sister added.
I started thinking about what my sister said. It was true—better to forget him for my own good.
But how? I had liked him for a long time. It wasn't easy to forget him just like that.
Anyway, I will try my best. Thanks, onee-chan," I said. "No problem. I'll always support you whatever you decide," my sister replied.
From that moment, I slowly tried to forget about Hikaru-kun. I no longer thought about him, just let him be with Misaka.
When I run into him at school, I just act like a stranger who has never met him before.
I also no longer visited his classroom anymore or went to the school garden bench. I now joined my classmates eating together, and since I wasn't involved with Hikaru-kun anymore, I could focus on to improve myself and getting along with my classmates. My classmates and I became closer than before.
Over the next few months, the school year drew to a close. As the final exams had already ended, today we all got our final exam results. Like before, I managed to get first place in my classroom. Not only that, I got 1st place among all first-year students.
My classmates surrounded me and congratulated me.
"Wow, Akemi-chan, you managed to get first rank in the entire year!"
"As your classmates, we're all proud of you!"
"So expected of my friend Akemi-chan," said another.
I felt so happy that my friends and classmates acknowledged me so much, unlike during the mid-year exam earlier when I got first place but no one cared about it.
My sister grinned and patted my back, while Dad nodded proudly. "Well done, Akemi. Your mother would be proud to see this too."
"Yes, that's right," my sister agreed with him. "Why don’t you tell her now?" she suggested.
I placed the report card on the small altar beside Mom’s photo. “I’m doing okay now,” I whispered. “I even made more friends.”
Later, Dad announced, “Let’s celebrate with dinner outside.” My brother, my sister and I agreed, and we ate at a nearby restaurant.
That night, as I lay in bed, I replayed the day.
So it was true—for my own good, forgetting about Hikaru-kun was the right option. It no longer hurt my feelings or made me jealous.
But a part of me still can't let go of him. It keeps pushing me to focus on Hikaru-kun again, and I’m confused about what to do next.
Time passed without me noticing. The spring is arrived.
Next week, I’ll be a second-year student. I wonder what will happen next…
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusmbzpT3h1
To be continued…. Amemonogatari XI
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