FIEFDOM FALL - 11. I Don't Think

11. I Don't Think

Jan 17, 2025

143

2 Mins Read

I don't think I loved you, but I was close to it

Am I too complaisant, too much of your antithesis?

I don't think I loved you, but now I wish I did

The world sat in my hands and generosity got rejected

Selfless acts are ruthless in strife of homeostasis

The world sat in my hands and crumbled with cathexis

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I don't think I loved you, but I'd begun to fall

Off the side of my earth, oh, now that you're just visceral

I don't think I loved you, start the reappraisal

Heart beat's perpetual, so what the fuck is real; what's fictional?

Selfish acts are useful, plummeting lackadaisical

Heart beat's perpetual, so not even death's final

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I don't think you loved me, but I'd re-reignite

Our lantern, our light and try my best to keep alive

I don't think you loved me, maybe that's why I cry

And it's fuel to my flames, gasoline, so masochistic tonight

But it put yours out, right?

Tell me, in me you can confide

And it's fuel to my flames, catastrophic in hindsight

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Is holding on just arson?

Am I being punished?

God, is love a sin?

No, then why did I have to lose him?

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I don't think you loved me, why am I too pretty?

I don't see what you see, incense is insecurity

I don't think you loved me, it's time to get skinny

Maybe I can love me, there's no spark, either way I'm still burning

I'm softer than cinder, how could it be me you envy?

Maybe if you love me, I'll stop being a Phoenix

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I don't think you loved me, but I wish that you did

Maybe it's the distance or maybe you don't give a shit

I don't think you loved me, two months go by so quick

But since the day you left it's been an eternity; hell handpicked

Each hour gets harder, the volcano's never dormant

But since the day you left the eruption's been constant

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I don't think I loved you, you've been such a dragon

The smoke comes from within, billowing I didn't smell it

I don't think I loved you, but I loved the idea

Of a relationship, which turned into magma all of my tears

My friends call me spineless, am I the one mythological?

When everything's timeless, reference what was the ideal

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Is holding on just arson?

Is he being punished?

God, is love a sin?

No, then why did it sting to lose him?

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I don't think I loved you, just sought stability

Conflagration succeed-ed, in a cycle never free

I don't think you loved me, I don't think you loved me

Just wanted to scorch me, was forever a possibility?

Stuck in some inferno, I should stop watching the blaze grow

You just wanted to scorch me

Forever was never a possibility

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(You just wanted to scorch me)

(I don't think forever was ever a possibility)

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11. I Don't Think

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