"Why the hell is this so hard?" I mutter to myself.574Please respect copyright.PENANAmAwBw1F9dS
574Please respect copyright.PENANAIXuQcbTPpg
574Please respect copyright.PENANAn3P1NTbYPW
Remember how I missed two of Evetta's birthdays? Well, I've decided to buy her two presents — one for each birthday that I missed.574Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZcBfmgSPi
574Please respect copyright.PENANAiGl1olFjYM
574Please respect copyright.PENANACHV8gLzok6
I already got a violin bow for her. It isn't some grand, expensive, £2000 bow from 1752, but it's from me; I'm pretty sure that she's the sentimental type.574Please respect copyright.PENANABhpryesI2I
574Please respect copyright.PENANAE5bP66DGuk
574Please respect copyright.PENANAeDRkOsH2iB
Now, I'm looking for a black doll, and none of them seem perfect. Every single one that I've seen — which is actually only a total of two dolls — have processed hair. For some reason, I feel like she would want a doll with natural hair.574Please respect copyright.PENANAyzyEiluQls
574Please respect copyright.PENANAG8jzOs1nv6
574Please respect copyright.PENANAapzY3H7b1I
I'm about to give up and just get her a bracelet or something, when I see it through the window of a store. It's called "little Jamaica", and a black rag doll with what looks like twists on her head is smiling through the window.574Please respect copyright.PENANAVuHIrGo6np
574Please respect copyright.PENANAtYIISLPmxG
574Please respect copyright.PENANAwrV3y2pij8
I walk into the store, which smells like lavender, and am immediately greeting by a middle aged woman with locks. Her face looks halfway between black and Chinese; full lips, dark skin, sharp cheekbones, tiny nose and slanted eyes.574Please respect copyright.PENANAB2qWxMYKAX
574Please respect copyright.PENANARNDjQAbqvt
574Please respect copyright.PENANAbEwUJRENw6
"Good afternoon sir," she says in a warm voice, but with an accent that sounds identical to Evetta's.574Please respect copyright.PENANAh0zeOHnbcK
574Please respect copyright.PENANAxSX3iHCsxw
574Please respect copyright.PENANAf698vbMOBs
"How may I help you today?"574Please respect copyright.PENANA0wx1vuo2zl
574Please respect copyright.PENANA6SnieGFEVS
574Please respect copyright.PENANAf5ophAcjHZ
I look at the window, and see the doll.574Please respect copyright.PENANAjAfDIceoWj
574Please respect copyright.PENANA4lue7v5FpM
574Please respect copyright.PENANABrvQScguT0
"I want that doll; the one by the window. Upon inspection, I realise that it has "Jamaica" written across the front. She looks like she's crying, and she's facing me. 574Please respect copyright.PENANAxzNCq7AmSa
574Please respect copyright.PENANAJpjXwdpn1l
574Please respect copyright.PENANAwxVXAIrxbQ
I think I might be losing my mind. Maybe it's more than just amnesia. What if there's temporary brain damage? What if I'm going to completely lose my mind, and have to live the rest of my life in an asylum?574Please respect copyright.PENANALmnFW8GXX3
574Please respect copyright.PENANAUwxPTtTxOH
574Please respect copyright.PENANAwUuznu4CpN
Before I have a full blown panic attack, the woman speaks again.574Please respect copyright.PENANA5k8AvVFhqD
574Please respect copyright.PENANAWzvDeysqS9
574Please respect copyright.PENANAjlyaLErDPO
"The doll has too faces; one side is smiling, and the other is crying," she says, seeing my confused expression, and following my gaze to the doll.574Please respect copyright.PENANAGJS2odI317
574Please respect copyright.PENANAnguvYrk9mh
574Please respect copyright.PENANA4xiXULwwBR
I walk over to it, pick it up, and flip it. Sure enough, it has a face stitched on the other side — the smiling face that I originally saw.574Please respect copyright.PENANA5u0aQHEUI5
574Please respect copyright.PENANAp2t9m4fhVu
574Please respect copyright.PENANAoRaYDNylxi
Thank god. I'm not mad. Yet.574Please respect copyright.PENANAnqTm6rK2Mu
574Please respect copyright.PENANAcnUDbGWJds
574Please respect copyright.PENANAIuw90FMYLM
This is so... special. I love it, and I know that Evetta will love it, too. 574Please respect copyright.PENANAPVT5Rujlo5
574Please respect copyright.PENANAHbmYdgbEWm
574Please respect copyright.PENANAT0tghIq6BF
I pay for it and walk out, feeling rather proud of myself.574Please respect copyright.PENANAAAmt5oZV3r
574Please respect copyright.PENANAccjBfiLbdZ
574Please respect copyright.PENANAv6MtfhDuDS
Yes, she's gonna be so pleased.574Please respect copyright.PENANA6KGCjqNvPh
574Please respect copyright.PENANASx3pKE7PLJ
574Please respect copyright.PENANAuJUxGn7QfB
Of course, my day can't possibly be that easy.574Please respect copyright.PENANAsNkxsrDOyO
574Please respect copyright.PENANAwmPlcmu1Py
574Please respect copyright.PENANAMp9V5R6ZKJ
As I'm walking on the sidewalk, one of the pink ear rings from the doll fall off and break on the pavement.574Please respect copyright.PENANAUhKfappCl1
574Please respect copyright.PENANApE0GQLwLHf
574Please respect copyright.PENANAajLl35NPn1
"Fuck," I mutter under my breath.574Please respect copyright.PENANAOPUKHA5AAI
574Please respect copyright.PENANA2mCDK136k1
574Please respect copyright.PENANAtjohX57k8z
What the hell am I going to do now? I can't give it to her like this.574Please respect copyright.PENANAmeN11Uw20D
574Please respect copyright.PENANAHSsLc5dTpm
574Please respect copyright.PENANAOiz80C506e
Think Caleb. What else can be used as ear rings?574Please respect copyright.PENANAgFF0rhxIOr
574Please respect copyright.PENANACcZlgOpKHk
574Please respect copyright.PENANAIhIzqIH8Ev
Paper clips?574Please respect copyright.PENANAIVUDCLhHn4
574Please respect copyright.PENANA3soX0ZI3JK
574Please respect copyright.PENANAfrBP6pcIQv
No.574Please respect copyright.PENANAc7AQrkQwp0
574Please respect copyright.PENANAYTUj3geiA8
574Please respect copyright.PENANA4sZi48xiDf
Hairpins?574Please respect copyright.PENANA1acoKa95qm
574Please respect copyright.PENANAUMHLMtFCCU
574Please respect copyright.PENANAua5GgkhHCV
Am I stupid?574Please respect copyright.PENANA6aeKYIyEdl
574Please respect copyright.PENANAOYmZeoCpjc
574Please respect copyright.PENANAWtox5WlKnb
Nose rings?574Please respect copyright.PENANAknemPa2z0a
574Please respect copyright.PENANArtVcjsYFbB
574Please respect copyright.PENANAyyGT12YeiK
Wait. That's not a bad idea.574Please respect copyright.PENANAANA7qaDKoa
574Please respect copyright.PENANAkX8u2bYBtL
574Please respect copyright.PENANA6hSt8vv1fj
At least this isn't that hard to find. 574Please respect copyright.PENANAmQknFTOXni
574Please respect copyright.PENANArhgO4ZBeMR
574Please respect copyright.PENANAdDNMX1wV8D
After a few minutes of walking, I find myself in a shop that is stocked full with all kinds of body jewellery, and I pick up a pack of nose rings. Now that I see them, they look far thinner and flimsier than I'd imagined.574Please respect copyright.PENANAYp2NJF4EK2
574Please respect copyright.PENANAyhOUL0vd1X
574Please respect copyright.PENANA3cBXOJFeQA
God, I really hope this works, I think to myself looking skeptically at the tiny golden hoops.574Please respect copyright.PENANAjMCGVnssS3
574Please respect copyright.PENANApsmS4wJKvy
574Please respect copyright.PENANAEGJ0uAfziz
574Please respect copyright.PENANA92WseqnBfn
574Please respect copyright.PENANAmAcuIJNaXW
***574Please respect copyright.PENANAoeKWnSEOOv
574Please respect copyright.PENANAC1hEoUifO5
574Please respect copyright.PENANAuD5sSAT0bn
574Please respect copyright.PENANAtureyVnjNM
574Please respect copyright.PENANAYBGsY8T1rI
The nose rings actually worked, much to my surprise. You'd never be able to tell that anything ever went wrong with the doll on the first place.574Please respect copyright.PENANAZdf3LsPx1e
574Please respect copyright.PENANAy1YF3SHdpr
574Please respect copyright.PENANARWme0mKStD
I'm finished walking the streets for today, so I've decided to take the tube back to the area in which I live. Throughout the entire train ride, I can't keep still. My knee is bouncing like a tennis ball, and I realise that it's more than me wanting to give her a doll and a violin bow; I want to see her again; hearing her voice through a phone isn't enough. Still, I call her as soon as I get out of the station.574Please respect copyright.PENANAvkZfSMIKGN
574Please respect copyright.PENANAJtwpsduoP5
574Please respect copyright.PENANAZa3J4Np4pP
"Hello?"574Please respect copyright.PENANAV62AsCjpfB
574Please respect copyright.PENANAo1ISwnkDhn
574Please respect copyright.PENANAcCJqKSVmVS
God, her voice is beautiful. It makes me feel warm, from the inside out, even though it's freezing outside — snow has just begun to fall, and now I deeply regret not bringing a winter coat — and the cold air biting against my skin seems inconsequential.574Please respect copyright.PENANANx3hN5Hd9T
574Please respect copyright.PENANAxMfog1kfxW
574Please respect copyright.PENANAjguVQ7BGDW
"Can you come over?" I ask. 574Please respect copyright.PENANAZPtRMampSv
574Please respect copyright.PENANAI3F4YlQbo3
574Please respect copyright.PENANAC8P9vOPba2
But a better idea comes to me.574Please respect copyright.PENANAByRmYivNes
574Please respect copyright.PENANAug6tRScl7j
574Please respect copyright.PENANA2eKwi1OM6c
"Are you at home?"574Please respect copyright.PENANA8z8d8nQViI
574Please respect copyright.PENANAuZ5414Atiw
574Please respect copyright.PENANAuNpWUmWkap
"Yeah."574Please respect copyright.PENANAMlxuPAtNo9
574Please respect copyright.PENANACxzHQm0BjS
574Please respect copyright.PENANAZRYKzpQQl3
"Um, can I come over? I mean, you'd have to give me your address, and I'd try—"574Please respect copyright.PENANArIHi0jbCei
574Please respect copyright.PENANAHMHxcihEmP
574Please respect copyright.PENANANsdQI2my9y
"Caleb, it's very cold — you sound cold, as if you've forgotten you coat — and I don't want you to get lost, and die of hypothermia. I'll come over. I'll bring you over to my house one day — show you the path."574Please respect copyright.PENANAoLkQNymOjH
574Please respect copyright.PENANARpSeENb998
574Please respect copyright.PENANA1kT7gkotCv
"Fine. But please stay."574Please respect copyright.PENANAHHP5pXNxp1
574Please respect copyright.PENANAhf1DegFoxO
574Please respect copyright.PENANAOtLtoo2r4q
"Okay, but I have to leave early tomorrow. I have work."574Please respect copyright.PENANAWWY6FEwbQB
574Please respect copyright.PENANABZPNhIDMcc
574Please respect copyright.PENANAV22yEig6dy
"That's fine," I say as I walk through the front door of my house. 574Please respect copyright.PENANAyMIZtOdeX1
574Please respect copyright.PENANAArYnxdaxBY
574Please respect copyright.PENANACMFU5vuB2O
The call ends and I make it to my room, suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion. 574Please respect copyright.PENANAk3nHLPDYiN
574Please respect copyright.PENANAvwL8i83JhU
574Please respect copyright.PENANATvqpglq9Da
However, I fix an image of her face in my head. I tell myself to stay awake for her. And I do.574Please respect copyright.PENANAjVAPx0vrYn
574Please respect copyright.PENANAl5bdv6OWIk
574Please respect copyright.PENANA1e1irYVOyn
"Caleb," I hear from the bedroom door, and instantly perk up, exhaustion forgotten. She's shrugging off her winter coat by the threshold of the door.574Please respect copyright.PENANAUoU1NWsKOo
574Please respect copyright.PENANAIardwx8qcv
574Please respect copyright.PENANAZwiy50Ypxj
"Evetta. Thanks for coming."574Please respect copyright.PENANA7cM8k6rs1I
574Please respect copyright.PENANAGAgeb328LU
574Please respect copyright.PENANAmlJD6P5Dhv
"Of course, baby," she says, and when I hear the word "baby", I get that warm feeling all over again.574Please respect copyright.PENANALbjOjMxLZQ
574Please respect copyright.PENANAYoAjsL4HDT
574Please respect copyright.PENANA6Nj5JSz1ww
"Um, I got you some stuff."574Please respect copyright.PENANAnTMmcELqGm
574Please respect copyright.PENANATpptBqquAH
574Please respect copyright.PENANAGloy4Tx0KO
"Yeah?" she inquires as she walks over to the bed and sits beside me.574Please respect copyright.PENANAqNl1g7dmJl
574Please respect copyright.PENANAadjqwekUn2
574Please respect copyright.PENANAaXnED4SJFA
"I realised that while I was out, I missed two of your birthdays."574Please respect copyright.PENANARXvHS56mDP
574Please respect copyright.PENANAKhbRnRRuiJ
574Please respect copyright.PENANAftcooX6IvF
"Oh, god, Caleb," she says to me, catching on, and her voice sounds so... touched.574Please respect copyright.PENANAzwNuMxXgYE
574Please respect copyright.PENANAJDADjWzmVv
574Please respect copyright.PENANA2S2fYLzi4c
"So I got you some stuff."574Please respect copyright.PENANAGa66mWMizT
574Please respect copyright.PENANAtB6NdqNRNr
574Please respect copyright.PENANAfZQPGWg46X
Her eyes actually have tears in them. Good god, I never expected her to actually cry.574Please respect copyright.PENANA2pGgU2VC1S
574Please respect copyright.PENANA3JMMY5RT2d
574Please respect copyright.PENANAykaGKlSIyO
Before I can even decide which one I want to show her first — the bow or the doll — she throws her self on me and gives me a bear hug.574Please respect copyright.PENANAmvWOPOO1zS
574Please respect copyright.PENANAIr9lr7NTko
574Please respect copyright.PENANAA5F1h0QyvU
"I love you. Thank you so much. You're the best."574Please respect copyright.PENANAynm4QdgO8U
574Please respect copyright.PENANALw4hnXi6II
574Please respect copyright.PENANA0IIF9JxLtH
"I love you too."574Please respect copyright.PENANARbZASgWbN9
574Please respect copyright.PENANAcm6bpVxl3Q
574Please respect copyright.PENANAKzyNKICA8q
We stay like that for a while, just holding each other, and when we finally untangle ourselves from each other, her eyes are red.574Please respect copyright.PENANApfP0pam1qo
574Please respect copyright.PENANAomt2vFKBMX
574Please respect copyright.PENANAflvPQWL60t
"I got you a violin bow," I say as I present it to her.574Please respect copyright.PENANA1XbTorOXHV
574Please respect copyright.PENANAvNC4Um9LVw
574Please respect copyright.PENANAn26cWaXLt6
Her eyes widen and fill with tears again as she removes it from its casing and inspects it.574Please respect copyright.PENANAc3ktd1SdXc
574Please respect copyright.PENANApmu5rF9wuw
574Please respect copyright.PENANAM5ZonYD7zY
"I mean, it's not great, but it works—"574Please respect copyright.PENANApP92qKUXJf
574Please respect copyright.PENANAMglDCOJ5No
574Please respect copyright.PENANAJXibHiinVe
"And it's from you," she says. "That means so much to me."574Please respect copyright.PENANA1xQgS1DWgv
574Please respect copyright.PENANAAgBCsJ2L0l
574Please respect copyright.PENANAhRAuzaTKxd
I was right. She's sentimental.574Please respect copyright.PENANAtZ61r1yR3r
574Please respect copyright.PENANAOCz0NvHJMf
574Please respect copyright.PENANAq0OXdujDd4
"I also got you a doll. A black rag doll."574Please respect copyright.PENANAv4ycsF9wl1
574Please respect copyright.PENANA6ewzWbbQFp
574Please respect copyright.PENANAvCgDr6Bo78
As soon as those words leave my mouth, her eyes become filled with what can only be described as utter vulnerability.574Please respect copyright.PENANASF8CcBcmM7
574Please respect copyright.PENANAs8NXE6bv3I
574Please respect copyright.PENANAiAiuQI8kwW
"Really?" she asks, her voice getting high pitched.574Please respect copyright.PENANAtxeNxUwBpI
574Please respect copyright.PENANAoZIlx20Z67
574Please respect copyright.PENANAoy5AA6SCI9
Damn. I really didn't foresee her being this emotional.574Please respect copyright.PENANAEdGOHVfSlT
574Please respect copyright.PENANAvSQwT0izJK
574Please respect copyright.PENANAeXo4nPIaIU
"Yes. I found it in a Jamaican store," I say as I pick it up and hand it to her.574Please respect copyright.PENANA1a8nJDIXXB
574Please respect copyright.PENANAM8urj9FGoC
574Please respect copyright.PENANAdzXpaR4bMe
"Oh, fuck. This is... Caleb, I don't even know what to say," she whispers, turning the doll over, her eyes widening in surprise as she sees the other face.574Please respect copyright.PENANAJfyoiMkJXh
574Please respect copyright.PENANAqDCTfb9uJz
574Please respect copyright.PENANA1lPD4AuNtH
She hugs me, and kisses my cheek, before retracting and rubbing her eyes, smiling at me.574Please respect copyright.PENANAt8wzgM97YJ
574Please respect copyright.PENANAUnAu3LF7Xn
574Please respect copyright.PENANARB6uY5D47U
"Incidentally, I brought something over here for you, too."574Please respect copyright.PENANAHssXc8oEq2
574Please respect copyright.PENANA0mGsiFrgHs
574Please respect copyright.PENANAOMsmpgEZCN
I raise my eyebrows in surprise.574Please respect copyright.PENANAGy2s5JIGJQ
574Please respect copyright.PENANA4wkkoSuhsO
574Please respect copyright.PENANAVotlgYeLwP
She takes out a tiny black doll which is attached to a card that says "Watchover Voodoo" at the top, and has some writing on the bottom.574Please respect copyright.PENANA5wfwD5mgLC
574Please respect copyright.PENANAb2V4lHqpwA
574Please respect copyright.PENANAAmeCibjBaI
It's supposed to guide you," she says. "Now, I don't believe that some tiny doll on a piece of cardboard has magical powers, but I do believe that if you read an inspirational quote every day, you'll probably try to follow it."574Please respect copyright.PENANAD09VcymVPh
574Please respect copyright.PENANA1y8459mLvg
574Please respect copyright.PENANABZGbhHpZMj
I read the bottom, and it says:574Please respect copyright.PENANALVyhtDThOf
574Please respect copyright.PENANAvo9pbGhN1F
574Please respect copyright.PENANAAwOhLc3WyF
Reggae Kid574Please respect copyright.PENANAszmJldA8Zf
Keeps you in rhythm with nature and at peace with those around you.574Please respect copyright.PENANAhdCobdxElk
574Please respect copyright.PENANAg4AYvBoEs1
574Please respect copyright.PENANAG0cUphAB5f
"You lost your rhythm and piece of mind with that accident, and by extension, the piece that you had with those around you. I can feel the unease within you every time I hear your voice, every time I see you, every time I'm near you."574Please respect copyright.PENANAwozJ8Lbxtx
574Please respect copyright.PENANArzoA1pX4B9
574Please respect copyright.PENANAYmidysWZ4o
I think about it; I never realised that she knew just how much all of this is affecting me.574Please respect copyright.PENANAEmWu25ZxRp
574Please respect copyright.PENANASrPvgKCy2f
574Please respect copyright.PENANAnViUH27FWP
"You need to find your peace and rhythm again."574Please respect copyright.PENANAtL7bhuI7ot
574Please respect copyright.PENANAhzD3L3Ka7X
574Please respect copyright.PENANAy0haot7LM9
"Thank you, Evetta," I say, taking the doll from her.574Please respect copyright.PENANAdxybsjzTyJ
574Please respect copyright.PENANA2SoGGzGh0d
574Please respect copyright.PENANAY3pvsOArFg
Thank you for noticing.574Please respect copyright.PENANAzCkc88Y8Si
574Please respect copyright.PENANAPyNzqDkppm
574Please respect copyright.PENANAru8x1W8D8D
Thank you for caring.574Please respect copyright.PENANAGBmKZksTFV
574Please respect copyright.PENANAoiN86Ao68a
574Please respect copyright.PENANADNEKNAQoX0
Thank you for loving me.574Please respect copyright.PENANAwFIkDoyull
574Please respect copyright.PENANAL97HD5e9g0
574Please respect copyright.PENANAJNu9A127Ar
And I do something that neither of us saw coming.574Please respect copyright.PENANA4AZGoF3bzr
574Please respect copyright.PENANAxJPsa4aIEx
574Please respect copyright.PENANA0Re4NjWbNW
I kiss her.
ns216.73.216.0da2