Jay
Cru didn’t come back last night. But, when I walked out to the waiting area he was already there swim trunks and all. I did as Echo told me and left him alone. All through practice he seemed somewhere else, executing everything perfectly but not in the moment. When we finished and dried off everyone went to lunch. Everyone except Cru. He just went back to the dorm. He did this again after our second practice. Instead of going to lunch he just went back to the dorm.
“Cru!” I call jogging to catch up with him. “Look I know I’m supposed to leave you alone but… you need to eat something.”
“Didn’t realize it affected you. Sorry.” Cru says coldly. “Maybe I’ll eat tomorrow.”
“No Cru. You’ll eat something today. I don’t care if I have to buy it from the store just to take it out of the cafeteria. But I’ll make you eat something today.” I say, the ice in my voice even colder than his.
“Whatever. Good for you if you want to waste your money on something I won’t eat. Do you want to know why I don’t eat?” Cru asks me after a moment of silence.
“Yes.” I say.
“I don’t eat because I’m not hungry. I eat a small snack for breakfast and I’m not hungry. So I eat just enough to keep me alive.” Cru says matter-of-factly. “Now leave me the fuck alone Jay.”
I stand there frozen for a minute or two. How can someone who spends so much time and energy in a single day not be hungry? How can a small snack be enough?
Cru
This is dangerous. Jay was the first person to notice that I haven’t been eating. Truthfully it isn’t because I’m not hungry, I mean that’s a small factor but I’m never hungry and I still ate, it’s the fact that Grayson called. I don’t know what to do with his words still circling through my thoughts. I know I shouldn’t have snapped at Jay for being worried but I still did. It’s safer if I drive him away before anything can happen. Before I can call him a friend. “No one expect me.” Grayson’s words playing on a loop. “No one expect me. No one expect me. No one except me. No one. No one. No one. No one. No one except me no one except me.” His words bleeding into my brain carving out a hole for them. For the memories that come with them. I turn sharply into the courtyard. I look around and see no one. I punch the tree in front of me as hard as I could, shutting off the loop of Grayson’s words. I sink to the base of the tree and lower my head into my hands shaking slightly. When I look at my hand I see that I cut it pretty good. I’ll be fine. “He’s right.” I whisper. “No one expect him loved me like he did. No one stayed except for him.”
“Glad you finally see it my way.” A familiar voice says sending a sharp knife of anguish into my heart. I look up and freeze. Grayson. Grayson with that intoxicating smirk. I stand up shakily backing away from him.
“What are you doing here?” I ask my voice quavering with my anxiety.
“I’m here to see my sibling.” Grayson says his tone mocking Echo.
“No you’re not. Why are you here?” I ask again my voice stronger.
“Fine. I’m here to show you that you’re still mine. You belong to me.” Grayson says with an exasperated sigh. He starts to walk forward slowly a cruel smile curling at his lips. “I mean, you did just admit that no one else will put up with you.”
He’s standing in front of me now and grabs my hand, pulling me to my feet. I let out a sharp his of pain as he presses down on the fresh cuts. He looks down at my hand and smiles, holding it even tighter. “This is what you get for talking back.” Grayson tells me in a dark voice I know all too well. Next thing I know he’s backing me up against the tree pressing into me. Making me look up at him. He kisses me and presses his fingers into the bleeding cuts on my hand. Fuck why’d I punch the tree? I can’t think of anything. Why is my brain like this? Suddenly I’m floating outside of my body. I spot Jay staring from the open arch into the courtyard. I see myself push Grayson off of me and call out to Jay trying to run towards him as he turns around and starts walking away. Why does it hurt so much to see him of all people, someone I barely know, walk away from me? I call out to him to stop. He doesn’t listen and just keeps walking away. He doesn’t even look back once. I see Grayson grab my cut hand, dragging me off balance. When I get my balance back Grayson backhands me across my face and I go down crumpled into a ball as he kicks me. I feel a twinge of pain but it’s not really there. Even as I watch him kick me in the stomach. He stalks off picking up his dropped phone. I see myself sit up and grimace. I walk to where Jay was and pick up a bag of cheese-its he dropped. I realize that he had bought them for me. I watch myself as I start crying not from the pain, but from the loss of Jay.
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