真人真事師生戀《最接近的陌生距離》完全版 - 10

嗖——！嗖——！嗖——！穿針嘅聲音一個接一個咁響。籃球一彈一跳咁碌到我腳邊。

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「喂——！整返粒啦匡哥！」

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我搖搖頭，就剔起個籃球再掟返比阿偉。唉⋯⋯我咁嘅款邊有心情打波呀？

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目送Miss Wong好嬲咁離開後，我成個人呆晒咁企咗喺課室。阿偉唔知咩時候返課室拎嘢，然後佢好似同我講咗啲咩就捉咗落嚟操場1 on 1。

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我冇咩狀態下同佢鬥波梗係比佢炒晒。最後我自己企咗喺場邊頹緊，諗咗好多嘢。Miss Wong嬲我就一定架啦，而且呢次比之前逃學更大鑊，佢頭先講到好似要同我斷絕關係咁。但係⋯⋯我諗嚟諗去都諗唔明，點解Miss Wong仲會Keep住張紙嘅？！佢理應對每個學生一視同仁，但⋯⋯點解偏偏佢仲會Keep住我嗰張普通到不得了嘅紙仔嘅？

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喺我諗爆頭之時，突然間——

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崩———！

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「嘩——！」我頭一下劇痛，眼睛黑咗一秒，然後一陣天旋地轉。我定一定神，粒波仲喺我腳邊彈緊！

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「醒未呀你！」阿偉嚴肅嘅樣對我大叫。

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「仆你個街呀！搵波掟我？！」

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「唔順氣呀？鬥波囉！」

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「咪咁串呀柒頭！」

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躁躁地掟返個波埋去。於是我地兩兄弟又鏈返場。今次我狀態返嚟，同阿偉鬥得好激烈，最後係我贏咗。

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「嗄⋯⋯嗄⋯⋯」我攤咗喺操場中間抖緊。

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「好波呀兄弟！」阿偉跟埋我一齊攤晒喺度：「咁先似樣架嘛！」

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打完場波，心情好啲，思路又清晰咗啲，我話：「阿偉，唔該晒。」

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「唔該啲咩呀？」佢扮到唔知咩事，但其實佢可能一早睇穿咗我。

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從來暗戀人都係孤單。因為好怕呢個秘密比人知道咗之後，就永遠都追唔到個女仔。更何況，我暗戀嘅人係Miss Wong，係自己嘅老師呀！唔可以比人知架⋯⋯自從愛上咗Miss Wong，呢條戀愛嘅路只得我自己一個單打獨鬥。我以為做返乖仔，可以同佢關係更進一步。但其實只係做緊一個好學生而已。總之呢一刻，我受夠，好想有人可以明白我⋯⋯

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「阿偉呀？」

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「嗯？」

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其實阿偉一定知我有心事。做兄弟咁耐，佢唔會問我有咩唔開心。佢只會等我親自講出口。呢刻我明白佢點解要捉我嚟打波。

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「就咁嘅⋯⋯我有個朋友⋯⋯」

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「哦！你嘅朋友！」

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「佢有啲煩惱。我幫唔到佢，所以想問下你可以點做。」

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我將我嘅事包裝成我「朋友」嘅事，將Miss Wong 改成隔離女校嘅中七師姐。阿偉唔會過問，亦都唔特登挖係邊位我「朋友」。佢只係用心聽，同用心比意見。

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「⋯⋯你朋友唔洗愁喎！呢件係好事呢架！」

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「吓？」我眼都突埋。

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「五個字。」阿偉比出五隻手指：「愛之深，責之切！」

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「六個字喎阿偉哥！」

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「嗱，冇錯你朋友今次做得好錯。但我就咁聽，個女仔係錫你朋友先會咁勞氣。」

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「錫？你意思係⋯⋯鍾意？」

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「邊咁快呀，但個女仔一定好重視你朋友。」阿偉拍拍我肩，講：「你朋友幫佢做咁多嘢，女仔佢或多或少感受到你朋友嘅好意。最重要係⋯⋯」

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「個女仔仲Keep住你朋友留比佢嘅紙仔呀！」

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「張紙⋯⋯我⋯⋯」我聽到阿偉咁講，驚訝到差啲講錯嘢，我即刻糾正返講：「我指即係朋友，佢寫得核突，張紙又皺晒，我唔明對個女仔有咩意思喎！」

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「你都識講啦！個女仔面對咁多壓力同煩惱，學校一個朋友都冇。你朋友呢張紙即使望落微不足道，但對個女仔來講係好鼓舞。因為個女仔最需要支持嗰時，你朋友比到支持同安慰佢啊！」

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我一面疑惑咁望住阿偉。

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「唔信呀？」阿偉：「叫你朋友，留意下個女仔發現唔見張紙時，睇下個女仔發唔發矛？」

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阿偉望一望天，就話：「天黑啦喂！返課室拎嘢走人啦。」

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我懷住疑問隨阿偉返課室拎書包走人。喺行返落去期間我見到會議室剛好熄咗燈，一眾訓輔兩組嘅老師喺會議室陸續行出嚟。我見到Miss Wong 拎住一大疊文件，佢每走一步都好遴迍。終於——

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「哎呀！」佢跌咗一份文件就引起骨牌效應，手上所有嘢郁跌晒落地。

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我同阿偉見到之後，阿偉拍一拍我肩，示意一齊過去幫手。

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「女王大人！！」阿偉突然咁叫Miss Wong，搞到佢唔知要好嬲定好驚訝咁回應阿偉。

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「咦！你跌咗嘢喎！」阿偉突然喺Miss Wong面前停低，充滿惡作劇意味咁講。

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Miss Wong即刻嬲到企返起身，叉晒腰咁講：「你係咪嚟幫手架？！」

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「女王大人叫到！騎士隨時候命！」

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「你試下再咁叫我啊嗱！係咪想小息罰企啊！」

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「喂！快啲呀阿匡！」阿偉向仲行緊過嚟嘅我叫道：「女王要幫手呀！」

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「你夠啦！黃佳偉！冇大冇細！」

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「sor! Sor! 」阿偉同Miss Wong講完之後再對住我講：「得未呀匡哥！妖！咁慢！」

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我對Miss Wong嘅愛，令一切慢慢變質。今日佢好惡咁鬧我，令我唔敢行埋去。我唔係驚佢再鬧我⋯⋯或者我反而好想佢好似平時鬧省人咁鬧多我幾句。我只係怕我行埋去時，佢唔當我存在。所以我行得好慢，好驚面對現實。

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不過我最終都係行咗埋去，我強裝歡笑，話：「係咪要幫手呀？」

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「咁梗係啦！正所謂⋯⋯」阿偉扮到好正經咁同Miss Wong講：「男人係唔應該要女人流汗架嘛！」

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「黃！佳！偉！」

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阿偉不斷咁搞笑，似乎想個氣氛自然啲。

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「哈哈哈！做嘢做嘢！」阿偉拎起好重嘅文件交咗比我：「阿匡呢疊你嘅。咁嗰疊就我嘅！」

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阿偉拎晒啲文件後正想離開，不過我見到地下仲有一本書仲未拎，我就話：「仲差一本呀！」

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我細心啲睇，原來係Miss Wong嘅行事曆。本行事曆跌晒入面啲嘢都跌晒出嚟。筆呀、相呀、便條呀、卡片咩都有。

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「呢個我執返就得架啦。」

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Miss Wong埋去執返本行事曆後，check緊有冇唔見嘢。只見佢翻咗幾頁，就皺晒眉頭。佢抬起頭嚟，口中唸唸有詞，表情變得古怪。

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「Miss? 你冇事嘛？」我不禁咁問。

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Miss Wong微微一笑，話：「冇⋯⋯冇事！啊！我好似⋯⋯留低咗啲嘢喺課室。你兩個將啲文件放喺我位就好快啲返屋企啦！唔該晒！」

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「Yes! Your Majesty!」

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Miss Wong又厲咗阿偉一眼。

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「Miss，係咪⋯⋯」我想話洗唔洗陪佢，但阿偉好快拉住我。

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「行啦！匡哥！我想返屋企呀！」

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於是我被佢催住去Miss Wong位度放低啲文件。

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「阿偉，你行先。我想返一返課室，我好似漏低咗啲嘢！」

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我唔知Miss Wong緊張啲咩，可能係因為我張紙仔？或者呢刻我要即刻比返佢？

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但係阿偉拉一拉住我，佢個死人樣又變到懶係好有睿智咁，仲要特登撚把懶好聽聲咁講——

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「啲酒呢⋯⋯要擺耐啲先會香同醇架！」

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「叫你朋友，留意下個女仔發現唔見咗張紙時會點囉。睇下個女仔發唔發矛？」

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今晚唔係好瞓到，令我腦中不斷響起阿偉呢句說話。記返起Miss Wong當時執返本行事曆時嘅表情真係好緊張咁，然後又煞有介事地話返課室拎嘢？Miss Wong因為唔見咗我留比佢嘅紙仔而慌張起嚟？真係咁樣？

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我抱住呢戰問題輾轉反側咗好耐。希望真係如阿偉所講今次Miss Wong開足火力鬧我其實唔係壞事。

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因為我對佢重要，Miss Wong先會特別嬲。

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最後反正都瞓唔著，我拎起Miss Wong本白先勇佢品——《孽子》睇下。我留比佢嘅紙仔比我攝咗落書皮度。最後後睇睇下，唔知幾時就瞓著咗。

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「你地⋯⋯做咩咁早到？」

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早上七點鐘，Miss Wong企起課室外面好驚訝咁講。

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「Good morning Miss Wong!」我帶頭之下，阿偉、杰少仲有阿波跟埋一齊同佢打招呼。

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「繼續做嘢！」我拍住手催促班兄弟做嘢。

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琴日走嘅時候我諗過，最壞嘅情況即使Miss Wong 嬲到唔想理我，但無損我對佢嘅感覺。鍾意一個人，就係想佢開心，為佢分憂。所以我決定拿拿聲幫佢搞店個班壁報。咁Miss Wong就少樣嘢煩。

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本來阿波同杰少彩我都有味，大佬七點鐘到課室搞啲咁嘅嘢喎。不過阿偉真係唔話得，佢一出手，杰少同阿波就唔托手踭。

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Miss Wong呢個時候慢慢走嚟壁報板前，一面難置信話：「你地咁早就為咗整壁報？」

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「我地唔想放學整嘛！」阿波釘緊底紙。

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「係囉，點唔知幾時又被Miss你罰留堂。到時又冇得整。」杰少剪緊啲裝飾。

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「嗱嗱聲搞店，就少樣嘢煩啦！你話係咪呀?女王大人！」阿偉。

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「黃佳偉！」Miss Wong 又厲住佢，然後又話：「咁早返嚟做嘢，係邊個嘅主意？」

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「匡哥囉！」佢地三個一齊指住我。

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頂，我冇諗過佢地會咁樣篤我出嚟。我好驚自己嘅表情會出賣自己，所以就拎啲物資去班房嘅一角慢慢整。

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我感覺到Miss Wong氣息好似有啲唔同。我偷偷瞄佢一眼，剛好佢望住咗我。我同佢眼神交接一刻，彷彿構成一種交流——刻意避開眼神！

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⋯⋯搞咩呀？我同佢同一時間避開咗？

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我keep住低頭做嘢，但忍唔住都係要偷望Miss Wong一眼。只見佢又翹起手，做出招牌嘅女王pose。但總覺得佢呢下動作好造作，似乎想掩飾一啲心理狀態。佢行去阿偉度就話：「我仲未同你地傾要做咩主題喎。咁快就開始做？」

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「女王大人，你放心都得啦⋯⋯啊！！sor sor！ Miss 唔好嬲啦！⋯⋯放心喎！實啱主題喎！」阿偉向我望嚟，就話：「匡哥，不如你講下你諗法係點？」

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我冇預料到阿偉會咁樣交波，一時間接都接唔住，搞到我亂晒陣腳，話：「呃⋯⋯未⋯⋯未就係『我們這一班』囉。」

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「唉！老土呀！」杰少。

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「係咁架啦！學校今年主題係『關愛校園』嘛！」阿偉：「呢次班級壁報比賽一定贏呀！女王大人！」

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「係呀！女王大人！」

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「sure win 呀！女王大人！」

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「你地三個夠啦吓！！」Miss Wong爆完佢地三個後，再問：「所以呢個主意係⋯⋯」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUStUSEWWGl

「未又係匡哥囉！」佢地三個又指鬼住我。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtreuSYzqaj

我慌張咁望返Miss Wong，只見佢點一點頭，嘴角有啲微笑就返咗去老師枱度做嘢。雖然我同佢冇交流，但我似乎感受到Miss消咗啖氣。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kCYGvjsRO

唉⋯⋯點都好，只要我繼續鍾意佢，其他順其自然就得。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWxuMwXE9V

我一邊做嘢，一邊偷望佢。從前嘅佢做嘢好專注，短短一個鐘就改晒成疊簿。但今日嘅佢時不時抄下個櫃桶，又行去簿櫃望下。咦⋯⋯難道佢真係搵緊我張紙仔？

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaCsJAP7tJ

此時，Miss Wong望返過嚟，佢表情忽然唔自然咗一下，再將頭髮圈去耳背後面，慢慢行返埋位做嘢。有說人嘅心理黎映喺行為上面。愈細微嘅行為，所反映出嘅心理就愈真實——Miss Wong時不時揭開自己本行事曆，佢真係想搵嘢！

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJV47R0Ikaq

張紙仔而家喺⋯⋯哎呀！喺屋企度添！喺我慌寸大亂時

，阿偉走埋嚟，輕輕拍我膊頭。我同佢四目交投，佢一面認真咁，似乎示意我冷靜啲。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQutG4Q5ZM

「我要𠝹刀呀呀！撚樣！」阿偉

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WuPQ0G59f

「喂！邊個講粗口！」Miss Wong

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= = = =

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「人渣添」比周Sir 搞鳩完之後，成個人馴到好似錦羊咁。唔止親自同Miss Wong道歉，仲交晒欠落嘅功課。查簿呢一關應該安全渡過。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHhVSPgM7s

不過Miss Wong嘅男女緋聞呢一關未必咁易過。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPexuqoc5e

我收到風加上我自己嘅觀察，周Sir喺「人渣添」呢件事上幫咗Miss Wong 好大忙，所以佢借啲意想同Miss Wong搞返好啲關係。但Miss Wong一直避開佢。不過任Miss Wong點避都好，有啲嘢佢係已無辦法去阻止同改變——

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrvx2mWFnn

「Miss Wong搞人老公。」、「Miss Wong 收學生做兵。」、「Miss Wong衣著唔檢點」⋯⋯⋯⋯

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9yfC9iq5q

呢啲秘密最多都係老師之間流傳。但近日多咗喺學生之間聽到呢啲說話。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjWRZB5J82

我見到Miss Wong唔止好疲累，仲好似成身傷晒，個心流緊血。即使如此⋯⋯

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「⋯⋯記得啦！小測係一定會咁問。你地一定要識睇問題，明明識做但睇錯問題。好唔抵呀⋯⋯」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLocCGBE7F

佢依然將呢啲痛苦收埋，盡心盡力教我地班。冇被個人情緒所影響。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzHlwPDdlU

「⋯⋯唔阻呀！係咪要問功課？嚟呀，我教你呀。」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqHpf2h2AH

佢每日連食飯時間都要去教學生。有時⋯⋯我知架！我見到架！佢有時真係連飯都冇食就捱咗一日啊！

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCF8XMeJ1rN

「⋯⋯杰少，你爸爸好返未？冇事就好啦，你一定要大個仔啦，唔好掛住玩。你讀好啲書當幫爸爸啦。」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAxLWMKfNd

有次杰少老豆做地盤時跌斷腳，杰少down到喺學校爆喊。Miss Wong即使傷晒，但佢仍然將心比心去愛自己每一個學生。佢呢份溫柔唔係我專屬，佢都對每一個學生都係咁溫柔。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIShVmQfjg

「⋯⋯阿添，記得唔好再打交啦。你有冇受傷呀？」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYHsTIREns

即使對佢差嘅學生，Miss Wong都一樣照去關心。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZAcRazULl

任呢個世界點去傷害佢， Miss Wong仍然做好本分。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfGCGminTj

呢間學校未必個個人都了解Miss Wong ，佢未必係一個可以討全校學生喜愛嘅老師。即使好多流言將佢形象破壞晒。但至少，我地4A班喺Miss Wong努力教導、無盡嘅愛同關心之下，我地知道黃梓盈絕對係一位好老師！絕對唔係啲流言所講嘅咁差！

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZioyM2FJ66

「⋯⋯邊個再叫我做女王大人嘅，我就⋯⋯唉！你地鍾意點叫就點叫啦！」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0eGgGkyrB

Miss Wong感受到我地班好錫佢，佢無奈咁接受「女王大人」呢個花名。

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面對種種壓力同失敗，或者⋯⋯

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「⋯⋯嗱！我要見到大家笑到見晒牙架！哈⋯⋯1、2、3⋯⋯」

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卡嚓——！

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面對流言蜚語，或者⋯⋯

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「⋯⋯4A班！仲記唔記得我親自設計嘅4A手勢點做？下一張相我要個個都做到架！」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxs4h82JS7b

「Yes ! Your Majesty!」

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或者⋯⋯我地4A班就係Miss堅持繼續教書嘅原因。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfXXkPYgO0

「班長，記得笑呀！仲有呢個動作呀!」Miss Wong 向我做出salior moon嘅出場動作。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmdqPA8dFQ

影班相嗰日，我係班長，坐喺我心愛嘅人隔離。我所深愛嘅人佢笑嘅時候係最靚。只係呢日，佢嘅笑容之下有一種悲傷。佢面對鏡頭卻選擇微笑應對，就好似佢面對一個多月以嚟嘅種種困難咁，用微笑化解一切憂慮。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEfjm3Bsdz

卡嚓——！

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RaJ45QRQF

最終張班相，由於我掛住望住佢，因而成為全班最唔合群嘅一個。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImkxKMlkU5

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyUGDaVEHz

= = = =

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我同Miss Wong關係慚慚正常返，朝早同阿偉佢地做壁報，放學就去Miss負責嘅留堂班Sit 堂。就好似發生陷害「人渣添」事件之前咁。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP6vKWXRSe

正常⋯⋯其實我又唔覺得變到好似之前咁。總覺得Miss Wong唔多想同我傾太多學習以外嘅嘢。我又唔太想做好多越界嘅嘢。應該話⋯⋯我唔敢妄想Miss Wong可以做我女朋友。我專心做佢兵仔就夠。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz40y3vGdG

不過今日我收到一個好差嘅消息——Matthew因為情緒病復發而決定退學。搞到Miss Wong 全日都唔多點講嘢，中文堂用突擊測驗嚟攝時間。雖然我唔知道Miss Wong同Matthew 有冇一齊過，但我知佢一直都好擔心Matthew。亦都因為Matthew, Miss Wong 被部分嘅中七師兄怪責。指佢明明同周Sir拍拖，但仲Flirt Matthew，搞到佢比周Sir迫害。今日Matthew退學，唔只令Miss Wong 傷心，亦都會令佢背脊中箭。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zkpmD1Tt9

睇住Miss孤獨咁望遠景，我真係好想幫佢。

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= = = =

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「bye bye Miss Wong!」

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「bye bye! 唔好再欠交功課啦！」

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「知道！」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJbhhSTQUl

Matthew退學後三日，放學留堂班。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkjDHnpWt0

當最後一個師弟離開課室後，Miss Wong 走嚟同我講：「仲唔走？」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyaRWN1rjJ

「我想做多陣嘢。」其實我想陪你。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOd4avkNPO

Miss Wong點點頭，就喺位度拎咗份小測卷比我：「咁你改完正就走啦。唔識問我。」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdWeLeeTfS

「嗯。」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPCXEn8N8a

佢又一個人去窗邊望遠境。唉⋯⋯換係之前佢一定單對單咁教我，逐題解釋再執我字醜。已經第三日啦。咁樣唔得喎！我⋯⋯可以點做？

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQEXJEngCY

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3e4sHtm8LI

「你唔開心嘅時候！我總有方法令你笑！」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5c90kerYX4

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGSBohU13g

我忽然醒起之前我心入面講嘅嘢。咦⋯⋯？可以咁做喎！

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aI0lgomZ1

「咳⋯⋯咳⋯⋯」我故意咳得大聲啲引Miss Wong 注意。但佢好似被遠處嘅風景所吸住咗，眼尾都唔望我。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94JJLG2UgO

「Miss！」我最後決定叫佢。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qoV4bmUt7

「唔識做？」

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「係呀，有嘢想問下你。」

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「嗯。」佢疲倦咁微笑，但仍然企喺窗前。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5e9Uh3hWU

「嗱！如果著鞋識跑，著泳褲就識游水。咁著咩識飛呀？」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwf36d4twPL

我用一個好雀躍嘅眼神望住Miss Wong。但見到佢面上強裝出嚟嘅微笑慢慢消失，我就知奶咗嘢。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdJgcCMXAb

「就係著（雀）仔啦！哈⋯⋯哈⋯⋯！雀仔識飛架嘛！哈⋯⋯哈⋯⋯」我見佢唔識笑，我自己都覺得老尷，傻笑咁講：「哈⋯⋯哈⋯⋯都幾好笑呀⋯⋯哈⋯⋯」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUAzGknX2q

「⋯⋯」

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「哈，哈⋯⋯」唉，好柒。

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佢又望返遠景。

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唔得！我唔可以咁就放棄！我一定要引到你笑為止！

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xuiHfwH1b

「Miss！」我舉手。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6ynyfNBaa

「⋯⋯」頭先我玩嘢，搞到佢而家個樣比之前嚴肅好多，嘢都唔多句。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM44BVOYgto

「小測第一題就問，『《出師表》作者寫的對象是誰？』有留心聽Miss Wong你講書都知答案係『劉禪』啦！但你知唔知係咩情況之下會答『劉德華』？」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNAkNOacdP

「⋯⋯」佢面無表情咁疑視住我。

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「就係⋯⋯」

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「⋯⋯」Miss Wong聽都費事，又望返遠景。

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「未就係答錯嘅時候囉⋯⋯」我老尷到講嘢都漸漸細聲。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KKEODWHf2

唉⋯⋯我寧願佢呢刻鬧我搞事然後趕我走，起碼佢真係有反應嘛！但佢而家連鬧都費事，佢而家咁嘅情緒真係令我好擔心！

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3L9LIGiz4A

冷笑話唔得，咁我要出絕招啦！

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呢一招連笑點高嘅阿偉都笑到仆街。好⋯⋯

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「咦⋯⋯個班相想跌咁喎！」我指住壁報上裱起咗嘅班相緊張咁講！

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9u6dr7xPFX

果然呢招吸引咗Miss Wong 注意力，佢望去班相度。但發覺其實咩事都冇。

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「等我用鑽返粒釘先！」我右手做咁個電鑽嘅手勢然後用我強大嘅仿聲秘技，整咗啲電鑽聲出嚟！

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呢招係揉合咗啲默劇技巧！實笑啦掛？

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「⋯⋯」

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頂！仲係唔笑？

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冇可能！呢招個個都頂唔順架喎！我唔會咁易就放棄嘅！Miss Wong！我一定要氹到你笑為止！

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接著我將劇社學返嚟嘅嘢統統都施展出嚟！默劇呀、形體動作呀、扮鍾景輝呀、扮詹瑞文呀、扮詹瑞文扮嘅鍾景輝呀、貓貓狗狗豬牛羊雞⋯⋯屌！十二生肖都差唔多扮晒啦！Miss都仲係唔笑啊！

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我⋯⋯我啲戲咁屎架咩！

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「呢把係刀！只要我錚一聲⋯⋯」

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「你玩夠未啊！」Miss Wong 行返去老師枱前，一面怒容：「唔想做改正嘅就即刻返屋企！」

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「Sor⋯⋯Sorry!」雖然佢總算有啲反應，但堅惡，我比佢嘛親：「我⋯⋯做返改正。」

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唉⋯⋯冇法啦。嗱嗱聲改完正就走。但邊有咁易呀！有一條難到我諗嚟諗去都諗唔明，終於今次係到我爆啦！

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「啊———！唔識做呀！」我發晒老脾咁叫。

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39djyND7xD

「邊題呀？」Miss Wong 轉緊枝紅筆。

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「呢題囉！」我指住份卷講。

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「咁遠我點睇到呀！」Miss Wong 抱怨一聲，就走嚟拎起我份卷，讀咗條題目出嚟：「『請把「心凝形鐸，與萬化冥合」譯為白話文。』喂!謝子匡！」佢放低份卷，面露不悅咁講：「我解過好多次啦喎！你肯定冇留心啦！」

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoUfQOSNBu

「Miss，而家咩年代呀！仲讀古文。第時出嚟做嘢用唔到啦！做生意洗唔洗用古文架？簽合約用文言文架咩？！」

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Miss Wong聽見我公然駁佢嘴，就瞪起眼、叉住腰話：「古文係包含古人嘅智慧。你讀過孟子嘅《論四端》架嘛！仲有莊子《刨丁解牛》呢！入面有啲道理到今日都有用架！」

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「唉！講開佢地！嗱！我問你呀，孔子、孟子、莊子，仲有柳宗元、陶淵明、李白、李清照！佢地有冇諗過佢地嘅作品會係1000幾百年後都仲有影響力呀？」

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「⋯⋯」佢冇出聲，似乎諗緊我提出嘅問題。

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「我唔係講緊啲大道理會教化後世人喎！我係講緊⋯⋯嗱！就好似李白呢條醉酒佬！喂，Miss， 1000年前有個醉酒佬可能剛剛同老婆嗌完交，大叫『酒啊！』就走去飲酒。佢飲到醉晒唸咗首詩！喂，首詩可能對住條河痾緊尿嗰時作出嚟架喎！你覺得佢有冇諗過呢條屎坑詩喺1000年後會比人拎嚟考公開試，即係好似佢地嗰時考科舉咁呀！仲影響咗香港幾代人添呀！」

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「⋯⋯」

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「仲有呢條呀！『以下那一個是作者換上藍色窗簾布的心情？A 代表他對死去妻子的愛 B代表他抑鬱心情 C 代表他在事業上鬱鬱不得志 D 以上皆是。』Miss Wong你會點答呀。」

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「係A呀。」份卷佢出，佢梗知答案！（順手改正先。哈哈⋯⋯！）

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「錯！」但我大大聲話：「答案係——」

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Miss好愕然咁望住我。

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「答案係E啊！作者話『我剩係想換窗簾布咋！』」

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「中文卷真係⋯⋯真係好鬼有趣架！」

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我噴完一輪之後，成個課室靜晒。然後我先知奶嘢，我咁樣講Miss Wong出嘅卷，即係眨低佢咋喎！正當我想道歉時，企喺我面前嘅佢個人開始震緊。唔係嘛？嬲到震？定嬲到喊呀？然後我聽到——

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「嘻⋯⋯！」

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吓？我冇聽錯掛？

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「嘻⋯⋯嘻⋯⋯嘻！哈哈哈哈哈⋯⋯！！」

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Miss Wong 佢⋯⋯佢⋯⋯

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「哈哈⋯謝子匡⋯⋯我真係比你激死呀⋯⋯哈哈哈⋯⋯！！」

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Miss Wong 佢終於笑啦！

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我第一次喺冰冷女王面上見到一個咁開心嘅笑容呀！

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「哎吔⋯⋯笑死我咩！⋯⋯邊有人會咁諗嘢架！你低B架？哈哈⋯⋯」

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「哈哈⋯⋯我呀⋯⋯都幾低B架！」

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「哈⋯⋯哈⋯⋯你好低B呀！⋯⋯哈⋯⋯」

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「係⋯⋯囉！笑下未幾好！」

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「嗯⋯⋯」

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見到佢嘅笑顏⋯⋯一個難得喺冰冷女王面上見到嘅笑顏，令我內心都感動起嚟。特別係佢眼角慢慢流出嚟嘅淚珠，好晶凝通透。我唔知係佢笑到喊，定係不知不覺咁釋放咗啲唔開心嘅情緒。只知道，當呢個淚珠流經佢可愛動人嘅笑容時，令我內心又有一份衝動，嘴巴講咗句我自己都控制唔到嘅說話。

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「總之我有方法啦！」

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「咩話？」佢不解咁望住我

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「我⋯⋯我會喺你唔開心嘅時候——」

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「我一定有方法令你開心！令你笑！」

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「我一定有方法！係一定！」

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我同佢沉默不語。我知道呢句說話係越界嘅說話。我唔理，我忍受唔到只能做Miss隻兵。

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我要追到佢！我一定要Miss Wong 做我女朋友！

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「想我笑，邊有咁易呀？」Miss Wong笑住講

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「嗱！你笑咗！」

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「唔計呀！」

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「答案係F! 你地班人咪亂解釋我篇文呀！」

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「哈哈哈⋯⋯夠啦！」

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「李白首《靜夜詩》係痾尿撚出嚟架！」

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「哈哈⋯⋯低B仔！喂⋯⋯咪以為我聽唔到你講粗口呀！」

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如是者，我最後冇改正。同Miss Wong 開玩笑去到日落。

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我決定咗——

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時候一到，我一定會同Miss表白！

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