真人真事師生戀《最接近的陌生距離》完全版 - 07

「Miss Wong 我鍾意你！」呢句說話喺我心裡面不斷吶喊！但我理性嘅一面奮力咁壓制住呢份衝動、呢隻猛獸！

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唔好講！千祈唔好講！講咗就冇彎轉架啦！

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如果講咗，佢一定覺得我痴線！一定覺得我唔正常！Matthew 件事好困擾佢，我點可以再比麻煩佢呀？講出口佢一定憎我！一定會避我！一定會⋯⋯但⋯⋯

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但係！

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我真係好鍾意Miss Wong啊！

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Miss Wong呢刻一面不解，似乎呢刻佢都感受到我有啲嘢想同佢講！

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「Miss ！」我鼓起勇氣，唔理咁多：「我⋯⋯！」

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正當我想向Miss表白之時，有一把聲喺門外傳入嚟。

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「好嘢！係我第一！咦？」

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我同Miss Wong 一齊望出門口，發現係阿波身水身汗衝咗入嚟。但當佢一見到Miss Wong喺度時，就嚇到跌低，真係成粒波咁喺地上面碌多咗幾下！

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阿波狼狽咁起返身，因為佢衝住咁入課室，搞到佢好驚咁望住Miss Wong。此時Miss Wong即刻變返做女王，行去阿波度沈住怒氣咁講：「講咗唔准喺走廊跑架喎！」阿波嚇到支吾其詞。

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Miss Wong 鬧咗阿波幾句後就擰轉頭同我講：「班長，幫我搬返啲簿落我個位度。」佢又用返女王嘅冷漠口吻講。

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我即刻聽幫佢手，氣氛咁老尷，真係難頂。當我離開課室後先可以鬆咗口氣！我冷靜返落嚟後心諗好彩冇講出口咋！學生鍾意老師！傻架咩？表白咗又點呀？我死𡃁仔嚟咋！Miss Wong點會同我一齊呀？

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⋯⋯係囉。

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我鍾意Miss Wong咁又點？打從一開始，我嘅暗戀係唔會有任何結果。

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喺落去教員室途中，我不自覺回憶起頭先Miss Wong 睇到張紙仔時嘅表情同眼神真係同平時唔同。即使Miss Wong 有溫柔同關心人嘅一面，但頭先佢嘅表情就好似⋯⋯被感動到?頭先佢欲言又止咁，到底佢想同我講咩呢？

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當我行到教員室附近時，我感覺周身唔舒服。我環視四周，原來身邊嘅老師都紛紛對我投下奇怪嘅目光。

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「吓！個衰仔會幫老師拎嘢？」

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「匡少撞咗邪呀？」

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「幾點呀？佢咁早到嘅？」

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佢地唔止好似見到怪人咁望住我，亦都交頭接耳對我議論紛紛⋯⋯喂！我做返乖仔有幾出奇呀？我白佢地一眼就拿拿聲行入教員室。

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老實講，我真係唔知Miss Wong個位喺邊，但係我又唔敢問老師，所以索性慢慢搵。不過都唔算太難搵嘅，只要搵到一個人就可以搵到Miss Wong個位——戇男黎Sir。

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之前跟開嘅青年中心社工成日同我講行為反映心理，有啲人比較難觀察出佢行為背後嘅心理。但黎Sir就一定好容易由行為估到佢諗咩。喺Miss Wong嘅徵召名單之中，黎Sir必定係名列榜首。果然，我見到黎Sir離開自己位，然後行去窗台邊嘅其中一個座位前。只見佢神色焦慮不安，但又唔似做虧心事，佢似係忐忑緊應唔應該做一個重要嘅決定——送禮物比人。

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黎Sir走咗去上堂，我就走埋去佢頭先放低禮物嘅位度。果然！呢個真係Miss Wong 嘅位！枱面上放咗罐冰凍咖啡，咖啡嘅拉蓋上仲攝咗張紙仔。

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「Miss Wong :

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呢排見你做得好夜，個人明顯攰咗。呢罐啡幫你打打氣。你加油呀！

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黎Sir」

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哇，黎Sir啲字同我不相伯仲喎！

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當我放低疊簿之後，我仔細咁望住Miss Wong個位。佢係我老師，總覺得呢個關係係非常之遠。平時見到嘅佢多數係冰冷女王咁；但佢生活嘅點滴、習慣我係一無所知。而佢嘅位正正係透露緊佢係一個點樣嘅人。

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教員室淋浴喺一片早晨陽光之中。Miss Wong 呢個位剛好冇比太陽曬住。我見到佢放咗啲植物喺窗台上，加上整齊枱面、書卷味嘅擺設，配合整個教員室早晨氛圍之下。我好似想像得到Miss Wong平時喺呢個位做嘢時嘅樣——好安靜、好認真、好執著自己嘅工作。而佢認真工作時嘅樣，一定係好吸引、好靚。

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我再仔細望，發現參考書放得好整齊，而且書嘅排列亦明顯講究，同一係系列嘅書要放埋一齊，絕對唔可以中間攝其他書入去，否則Miss一定會睇唔順眼。Miss個位係搵唔到一張佢嘅生活照。佢成個位都好簡約，除咗參考書、學生功課同埋一兩個擺設就冇其他嘢。

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呢個時候我聽到電話震動嘅聲音。Miss Wong 原來將部手機放咗喺枱上面，我好奇咁望咗眼，見到電話顯示咗段訊息。

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「Vick ：你發完細路女脾氣未？都話咗今晚我要見客啊！你唔係有好多男朋友架咩？你搵佢地陪你囉！」

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呢段訊息睇到我都突！

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Vick? 邊個嚟架？睇呢段訊息似係男朋友喎！但Miss之前唔係同周Sir咩？然後就Matthew⋯⋯跟住就⋯⋯佢話Miss有好多男朋友即係⋯⋯嘩！訊息量大增！

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一段訊息唔夠，未來嘅一分鐘裡面仲彈出三個男人嘅虛寒問暖。其中有兩個係學校嘅阿Sir。

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我仲有好多對手等住逐一擊破喎！我忐忑不安咁四處張望，最後我個目光就落咗喺黎Sir送比Miss Wong嘅咖啡上面。

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我凝視住咖啡上面嘅紙仔，上面一堆好醜嘅字⋯⋯⋯

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嘴角忍唔住笑了。

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一個充滿惡作劇嘅笑意⋯⋯

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我順手牽羊，靜雞雞拎走罐咖啡，然後神不知鬼不覺下離開教員室。

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呢一刻我又忍唔住笑。惡作劇不嬲就好似興奮劑咁刺激。我心諗，係，可能有好多對手同我爭Miss。而且我追到Miss嘅機會係零。既然係咁⋯⋯⋯

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我媾唔到，你地班垃圾都咪洗旨意埋到Miss Wong 身！

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所以，黎Sir，Sorry啦！呢罐咖啡當係請我飲啦！

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剛剛嘅惡作劇唔知點解好似令我諗通咗啲嘢。我好似冇咗單戀Miss Wong的失落感。但我好肯定自己仲係好鍾意Miss Wong。只係覺得呢個惡作劇令我有一種做返衰仔嘅感覺。哈，有趣嘅係，我做衰仔得嚟又唔會比人罰喎！簡直係完美嘅平衡！

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更重要係咩？我諗通咗啦！係！我點都冇可能追到Miss Wong架啦！但我可以做佢隻兵架嘛！當我愈明白我同Miss Wong嘅差距時，我就愈清楚自己應該要喺咩位置上。佢對我溫柔咁笑，傾多一兩句計都已經夠我開心一日。做佢隻兵仔氹佢開心夠做有特啦！

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不過做兵還做兵，我自問自己絕對唔會好似啲戇鳩鳩中年阿sir做炮灰。要做就做偵測兵、做間諜、我只對自己忠誠。當我諗通咗之後，我就豁然開朗！

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「⋯⋯今日就教到呢度。各位同學有冇問題要問？」

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「有！」我舉起手。

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Miss Wong好驚訝咁望住我，所有同學都大吃一驚。佢地應該心諗：「匡哥會問書！？」

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Miss Wong對住我點一點頭，示意我企起身問。

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「《六國論》最尾一段唔多明，Miss可唔可以解多一次？」

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此時我聽到後面啲同學起哄。咁梗係啦差唔多小息先問咁大段嘢，實比人小老母啦！好彩Miss Wong都識做，微微一笑就話：「差唔多小息啦。你唔好搞到成班遲放啦。有問題午息或者放學再嚟問我啦。」Miss Wong對我露出我從未見過嘅笑容，應該因為我主動問書令佢覺得欣慰。

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我就係要呢啲！！

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呢個時候打小息鐘，Miss Wong 就話：「科長，幫手派埋今日嘅功課。」

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「等我嚟！」我又成個人彈起。

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Miss Wong個神情又變得更驚訝，佢應該諗緊我今日係咪食錯咗藥。只見佢一時間反應唔嚟咁講：「咁⋯⋯班長你同科長一齊派啦。」

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Miss Wong吩咐完之後就走咗。我同阿偉兩兄弟就派埋今日嘅功課。期間我同佢邊派邊傾計，佢話：「匡哥你轉死性呀？」

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佢又做一個「看透世事嘅樣」加一個「好想打佢嘅奸笑」。我話：「偉哥，我得罪咗Miss冇運行呀。梗係做乖仔啦。點敢得罪佢同埋佢後面啲仔sssss呀。」

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阿偉冷冷一笑就話：「下話？我都收唔唔少風喎。洗唔洗過啲比你？等你快啲重建返個好印象比Miss Wong睇嘛。」

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「咁好死？」

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「咁梗係要啲甜頭啦。」

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「請你飲啡！」

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「就咁話！」

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然後我使出一招借花獻佛，將黎Sir送比Miss Wong嘅咖啡轉贈比阿偉！於是我獲得非常珍貴嘅情報！

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數學科主任陳Sir突然對文學好有興趣，問Miss Wong借咗D書嚟睇。

圖書館主任張Sir最近Lunch成日落嚟教員室搵我女神，似乎想同Miss Wong熟啲。聽講佢地好似有活動要夾。

周Sir想箍煲，但同一時間佢繼續針對緊Matthew師兄⋯⋯唉！聽講佢呢排成日開訓導會議，特登搞到Miss Wong要好遲先走得。

黎Sir想追我女人，但極度淆底，威脅程度好低。正柒頭。

有好多九唔搭八嘅阿sir都想埋Miss Wong身。

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咦？阿偉比啲料都係同Miss Wong啲狂風浪蝶有關嘅？阿偉呢條友仔⋯⋯唔係知道咗我鍾意Miss Wong呀？

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重建形象工程繼續進行。食完Lunch之後唔去打波。我去咗教員室外面啲位清功課。我發現呢個位置真係絕佳情報位。眼之所見，耳之所聽，真係咩風都收晒。我聽到其他女老師圍埋講Miss壞話，話佢勾人老公、搏表現、靠周Sir先做到咁多重要嘅位等等⋯⋯唉，聽到我都唔舒服。

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當我見到班三姑六婆由講到興高采烈突然煞有介事咁散晒，我就知道Miss Wong嚟咗。佢好慣常咁拎起我啲功課睇下做成點，然後咩都冇講就返去教員室拎啲筆記比我。

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「溫咗書先做啦。我唔想又彈你功課呀！」Miss Wong講完就走，但比起之前幾日，我感覺到佢態度真係軟晒。至於今朝嘅事，我實在好想知道佢其實想同我講啲咩。

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呢個時候，我見到數學科主任陳Sir喺走廊頭嚟緊。佢係一位四五十歲嘅男人，矮Miss Wong少少，最正係佢好似中咗毒咁，兩片嘴唇係呈紫醬之色。所以我地叫佢做「中毒陳」。

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係，唔止中毒，佢個樣仲好撚毒添。「中毒陳」一見Miss Wong就狗公格上身，撲都撲唔切咁行咗上嚟，仲「Miss Wong! Miss Wong!」咁叫。即使Miss背住我都好，我都想像到佢表情係幾咁尷尬。

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「中毒陳」拎起本《台北人》滔滔不絕咁同Miss Wong講自己幾有得著。睇Miss Wong嘅身體語言就可以知佢真想快啲離開呢度。

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「陳Sir, 我要去當值。不如你將本書放喺我位。」

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「啊！好呀！我⋯⋯想再睇多幾本白先勇嘅作品！我希望好似你咁有文學氣息。」

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「嗯⋯⋯！你隨便拎呀。不過唔好整亂書嘅排序喎。」

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「啊！明白明白！我都有呢啲強迫症。就上次⋯⋯」

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「陳Sir, 我去做嘢先。bye。」

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「嗯！好bye bye。」

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「中毒陳」咁樣比人請食檸檬法都仲好開心咁喎！咁樣衰都想媾我女神⋯⋯咦？我嘴角揚起笑意，按奈唔住心中嘅衝動。於是我求其拎住份功課，以交功課為藉口走入教員室。

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因為午息嘅關係，大部分老師一係去咗當值，一係就出咗外面食Lunch，所以就冇咩人。我一邊觀察住「中毒陳」一邊慢慢行。我就好似潛入敵陣嘅間諜，要扮到好自然咁避開老師嘅目光，又要唔可以跟甩目標。然後我見到「中毒陳」去到Miss Wong位攝本《台北人》入書架，再拎走另一本書，然後佢好愉快咁離開。

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zbZQOp5Ri

此時我跟上去，見到書架上面有一行白先勇系列，本《台北人》就就整整齊齊咗攝咗喺中間。果然我分析係冇錯，由Miss Wong執我寫字到佢放得咁整齊嘅書，佢對整齊係有一種病態性嘅強迫！如果我整亂咗佢，咁「中毒陳」就⋯⋯嘿嘿嘿嘿！！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lNselT6a2

於是我喺整齊嘅書列之中拎返本《台北人》出嚟。循例都要幫Miss Wong check下「中毒陳」有冇拎本書嚟打飛機⋯⋯傻架咩！對往白先勇打飛機？然後我一揭開就見到張紙仔咁樣寫⋯⋯

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「Miss Wong:

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本書好好睇，多謝你推介比我。平時做野好忙，好少同你傾到關於文學嘅嘢。學校附近有一間cafe，不如搵日我地去嗰度食Lunch。到時我地再慢慢傾呀。

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXoWKKiSZf

放學你再覆我啦。

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陳Sir」

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啲字⋯⋯唉⋯⋯你都係寫返數字算啦！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbT4qiHqefR

「嘿⋯⋯你今次唔好彩啦紫嘴。」我暗暗笑說，張紙仔即刻變廢紙。

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8jO6xjn5A

我又心諗搞亂啲書本次序好似都唔夠。我睇「中毒陳」平時呢呢啡啡，張枱就哪哪渣渣⋯⋯啊哈！！對唔住呀「中毒陳」⋯⋯啊！唔係！係對唔住呀Miss Wong，我鍾意你，所以唔想你被呢隻毒撚騷擾。

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlL3Bf8ZUgZ

我靜雞雞走去「中毒陳」個位度（好易認，有曱甴屍嗰個就係），冒住生命危險喺佢位度搵到一隻名為「德國蟑螂」乾屍。然後用好細嘅寶貼將條乾屍痴落書背度！呢下我計過架啦，當Miss Wong一見到隻曱甴屍唔止嚇一跳，仲即刻聯想到「中毒陳」拎佢本珍藏嚟拍曱甴！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaC2PoyF6T

哈哈哈⋯⋯我真係忍唔住笑！「中毒陳」怪就怪你之前睇死我升唔到班啦！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AEQxLPi3m

然後我搞埋啲手尾，求其將本書掉喺Miss Wong張枱度，再整亂佢「白先勇系列」嘅次序，仲將其中一兩本攝落啲參考書度。當我轉身離開嗰下，就覺得自己好似電影啲特務咁，係差個背景整啲爆炸effect。有就真係完美啦！

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= = = =

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鈴————！放學啦！我最期待嘅畫面即將出現啦！

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「Goodbye Class!」

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Miss Wong講完再見後，我就即刻出嚟截住佢，我話：「Miss, 我想問返今朝《六國論》最後一段嘅問題呀。」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIJ3nDCeeO

「嗯！好呀。」佢執拾緊雜物咁講：「咁你順手幫我拎啲呢嘢落我位呀。」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXkeE8OLGN

「好啊！」我笑住講：「同埋⋯⋯我想今日留堂。」

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Miss Wong聽到「留堂」兩個字後明顯有偷偷笑咗下，然後又好嚴肅咁講：「都冇人要罰你。唔洗留堂喎。」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXc5fM6Zs5p

我難為情咁搔一搔後腦，話：「哈⋯⋯咁，之前逃學要留堂一星期嘛。呢條數未清，我又走咗四五日，我諗應該要留堂留一個月嘅！」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7YElobD5W

Miss Wong 嚴肅嘅表情有一個微笑，佢話：「拎嘢啦。」佢將疊簿推咗比我。然後我同佢一齊離開課室。

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6O8A1zzQLC

話說，我都係第一次同Miss Wong喺學校入面行咁長嘅路。唔知係咩原因，我同佢除咗保持住一個身位嘅距離外，我地都冇講啲咩。我個人覺得氣氛有啲老尷。但係我實在有好多嘢想同佢講，包括關心佢嘅嘢同埋今朝佢講又講唔出口嘅說話。不過我覺得最重要嘅係呢一句——

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「Miss Wong!」

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「嗯？」

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「多謝你！」我好想多謝佢幫我同副校求情。

佢詫異咁笑，就話：「好地地做咩講多謝呀？」

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「你⋯⋯你⋯⋯」但最後我竟然好想講「你真係好錫我呀！」⋯⋯點講出口呀戇鳩！

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我突然心跳加速，講嘢都吞吐起嚟。最後，我九唔搭八咁講：「多謝你比我留堂呀！」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWD0VMSlbC

下！咩邏輯呢架？

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mUQNGa9la

「吓？」Miss Wong忍唔住笑說：「你低B架？」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehBjQlHqgq

「啊⋯⋯⋯！哈哈⋯⋯哈哈⋯⋯」頂！Miss Wong 個甜笑真係攞我命！搞到我剩係識傻笑。塊面！唔准紅！唔准紅呀！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9SzPid7Xp

佢皺一皺眉，佢都好難理解我發生緊咩事。佢輕聲咁鬧：「低B仔。」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjHMxFQCyF

低⋯⋯低B仔？咦喂！佢唔係叫我做「班長」喎！咁即係代表Miss已經完全唔嬲我啦！好嘢！

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= = = =

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終於嚟到教員室嗰層。離遠已經見到「中毒陳」喺教員室外面等緊Miss Wong。

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「Miss Wong!」「中毒陳」真係烚熱狗頭咁嘅樣。

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIrXQ10OR5

Miss Wong表現有啲老尷，睇嚟佢對埋身媾佢嘅人都好敏感。但礙於禮貌，佢點頭打個招呼。

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwahNA8ejW

「陳Sir, 搵我有事？」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NWAyBB7SM

「哈哈，係呀係呀⋯⋯唔知你答應成點呢？」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9MQKkNIIF

Miss Wong一面疑惑，問：「唔好意思，唔係好明你講緊咩。」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6i2BiEdJQy

「中毒陳」話：「咦？啊⋯⋯其實我留咗張Memo喺你本書度。我問你⋯⋯」

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「噢，Sorry。 Lunch之後我直落到放學。我一直未返埋位。」Miss Wong禮貌咁微笑：「張便條係講啲咩架？」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh8yI6c775

「中毒陳」好難為情咁笑，說話：「我⋯⋯拎比你睇。」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNy7HRgJEs

當我想跟埋入去教員室食花生時，「中毒陳」好唔客氣咁同我講：「同學！你唔入得教員室喎！」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY32pHbdjpp

我唔出聲，報以一個神秘嘅微笑，我就睇下「中毒陳」你仲可以惡得幾耐！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO13LGmWDeV

「班長幫緊我拎嘢。」Miss Wong同「中毒陳」講。

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBusKBEQkY

Miss Wong開到口，「中毒陳」都唔敢阻住晒。我笑嬉嬉咁對住佢，屌⋯⋯我真係好撚興奮呀！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeioTiRkxm

喺行去Miss Wong位途中，「中毒陳」不斷撩佢講嘢，扮晒識文學咁睇咗邊啲詩詞歌賦呀，又話白先勇啲書好撚滾動佢呀，亦無啦啦念起詩嚟⋯⋯吖！佢好嘢喎！短短路程就吹咗咁多嘢！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLFBolvvrJ

咁又點呀，Miss Wong保持禮貌嘅笑容，但我感覺到佢已經非常煩厭。

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當行到Miss位時，我感覺到Miss Wong身邊嘅氣場立即劇變！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lZPDuJB6J

「⋯⋯⋯」佢望去書架，見到「中四級中國語文課本」旁邊攝住咗白先勇嘅《紐約客》同《孽子》！同我預期嘅一樣呀！Miss Wong真係好憎比人搞亂佢啲書！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofXkKpO4aV

「中毒陳」仲唔識死咁喺旁邊繼續講。然後佢見到本《台北人》放咗喺枱度先識得收聲，好詫異咁講：「咦？我明明攝咗落書架度喎！」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8YhNdawbf

「中毒陳」滿面疑惑，可能佢自己開心得滯都忘記咗有冇攝返本書入去。教數嘅人係咪除咗記數字就記唔到其他嘢呢？只見佢拎起本書，想搵返約Miss Wong嘅便條出嚟時，個「加料」書背就——

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——呢一刻成個世界靜晒！

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唔係！係暴風雨前嘅寂靜！

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剎那間我好似見到一下閃電，跟住一聲雷響！

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「啊———！」

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唔係雷響！係Miss Wong嘅尖叫！佢本能反應咁縮咗我背後，兩手搭住我膊頭⋯⋯呢鋪我發達呀！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfG7H5uiZd

「中毒陳」如夢初醒咁回神過來，問：「咩事呀？！」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OGMDk1qBv

「曱⋯⋯⋯曱⋯⋯曱⋯⋯」Miss Wong喺我背後伸咗隻震晒嘅手指出嚟，佢把聲係前所未有咁驚。

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「吓？！」

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「仲吓咩呀！即刻放低本書舉高雙手！」呢個時候我梗係撥下火啦！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JviOFaIRg

「曱甴呀！」Miss Wong喺我肩後申個頭出嚟叫：「本書⋯⋯本書啊！」

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「吓？嘩！」「中毒陳」大吃一驚，好似揸住個殺人凶器咁掉咗本書喺枱。成隻小強乾屍顯露我地三個人眼前！

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「咩話？」「中毒陳」都嚇咗一跳：「冇可能架喎！」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOtzMxIG14

「紫嘴, 你污糟就全校都知架啦！」我撥火都唔夠，要火水救火先得。同時間我放低疊簿喺櫈度，拎咗張預備好嘅紙巾出嚟，我指住本書同Miss講：「哇！成塊pizza咁喎！Miss，條紫嘴九成用你本書去拍曱甴呀！」

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「你唔好講呀！低B仔！」Miss Wong崩潰咁叫。

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「我⋯⋯我冇呀！Miss Wong你聽我解釋先⋯⋯」「中毒陳」連忙自救，同時想拎起本書。

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我即刻截住佢，然後毁屍滅跡，連埋寶貼執走隻小強，再話：「Miss! 我中一時親眼睇住有隻小強喺紫嘴隻耳仔度爬出嚟呀！」

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「同學你唔好亂講喎！」

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「我唔想知呀！」Miss Wong繼續驚叫。

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「紫嘴佢嗰把正一筲箕嘴呢架！成日食嘢食到周圍都係，又唔抹嘴！佢個位專養曱甴架！」我一邊扮嘢，一邊忍笑。屌，好撚辛苦呀！

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Uw40Py5wR

「唔好再講！你收聲！」Miss Wong喺我耳邊喝罵，只聽見佢抖咗一口大氣，就夾硬令自己冷靜，把聲仲係好驚咁講：「陳Sir! 你即刻還返晒啲書比我！」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHI04atWJo0

「Miss Wong⋯⋯我⋯⋯」「中毒陳」好無辜又唔知發生咩事，四十歲人烚下烚下咁。

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「快啲呀！」Miss Wong忍唔住鬧出聲。

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「中毒陳」叫咗聲哎呀就想走，但被我叫住：「都係唔好煩啦。Miss我幫你拎啦。」我再對「中毒陳」講：「紫嘴你咪埋再嚟添呀！一陣又跌多幾隻小強埋嚟呀！」「中毒陳」嬲到瞪住我。

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「是旦啦！快啦！」Miss Wong。

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然後我跟住垂頭喪氣嘅「中毒陳」去拎返另一本白先勇小說。之後我返埋去Miss Wong度，見到佢成個人氣急敗壞，問咗其他老師拎疊消毒紙巾，但成個人呆晒企喺度。明顯佢唔知由邊度開始清潔。

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「Miss Wong!」我拎起本書叫佢。

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Miss Wong指住我話：「企喺度！咪埋嚟！」

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我好似被差人逗咁舉高手。

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「Fing下本書先！」

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我照佢指示做，當發現冇小強跌出嚟後Miss Wong指住自己位講：「放呢度！」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gkxZ9Khkc

佢好似嚇到失去咗語言能力咁，成個人好神經質。當我放低本書後，Miss Wong猶有餘悸咁講：「搞錯呀！咩人嚟架！污糟成咁架！我本書呀⋯⋯唉！」

117Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoxhbUT2my

Miss Wong望住本書好不捨又傷心，然後同我講：「班長，幫我掉咗本書佢！」

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當佢下咗呢個決定後，我留意到佢好唔捨得，於是我問佢：「Miss你好似唔想掉嘅？好重要架？」

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「唉⋯⋯」Miss Wong嘆氣：「我中學嗰時，一位好錫我嘅文學老師送比我架！唉⋯⋯抹又唔係，掉又唔係。」

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嘩！好珍貴嘅情報！忽然我靈光一閃——

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「唔得！唔可以掉！」我：「咁有價值嘅嘢點可以話掉就掉架？」

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媾Miss第一式：關心佢，重視佢所重視嘅嘢！

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「咁⋯⋯」Miss Wong一下猶豫，似乎呢招有用喎！佢繼續講：「咁可以點處理呀？」

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叮——！我靈光又閃喇！

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「借比我呀！我唔怕污糟喎！」我：「我家姐話白先勇啲作品好睇喎！我又想睇下。」

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媾Miss第二式：投其所好⋯⋯扮都要扮出嚟啦！

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但係Miss Wong忽然狐疑起嚟，佢唔多信我，佢話：「平時唔多覺你咁鍾意讀書架喎！」

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「啊⋯⋯」我一時間被問到口啞，但又一下靈光，我緊接講：「咁⋯⋯可以順手借埋比我家姐睇架嘛！係啦！我家姐喺港大讀中文架，佢第時都想做老師喎！」

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Miss Wong喺驚慌嘅餘悸中閃出一下訝異嘅神情，好似搵到知音人咁，有啲雀躍咁講：「你家姐都係讀港大中文系嘅？！」

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「嗯！係呀！今年剛剛Year 1！」我：「咦？Miss你好似都係⋯⋯」

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「哈⋯⋯係呀！估唔到喎！你家姐原來係我師妹呀！」

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「嘩！咁真係估唔到呀！」

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媾女第三式：R關係！

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「我地可能見過面添喎！你家姐今年會唔會上莊呀？」Miss Wong好似冇咁驚，仲同我閒談起嚟。講起上嚟，佢第一次同我傾學習以外嘅嘢。

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「上莊？咩嚟架？」

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Miss Wong偷偷一笑，就話：「你上到大學就知啦！啊⋯⋯」佢露出一個靈光一閃嘅表情，繼續講：「如果你家姐今年會上莊呢⋯⋯我識下佢都好喎！反正好難見到你家長！見你家姐都得唧！」

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頂呀，佢真係唔會放過接觸我屋企人嘅機會啊！

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講下講下，Miss Wong忘記咗驚嘅感覺，佢嘆一口氣就話：「咁呢兩本書⋯⋯你幫我好好保管住喎！」

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「得啦！擺我度過個冷河唧！過幾日你就唔會覺得污糟啦！」

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「吓？你話會睇我先借比你喎！」

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「兩樣都有啦！總之⋯⋯我目的係唔想Miss Wong 你要掉咗咁有紀念價值嘅書！」

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講完之後⋯⋯我呆撚咗！我做咩會講呢啲架？！我望住佢都遲疑咗一秒，然後微笑咁講：「嗯，Thank You!」

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我同佢之間⋯⋯好似又有奇怪嘅氛圍！就好似今朝咁！呢⋯⋯呢個係咩感覺嚟架？！

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「唉⋯⋯我仲要抹嘢同消毒添！」Miss Wong望一望手錶，喃喃自語咁講：「我而家仲要去留堂班。完咗留堂又要開會⋯⋯」

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「等我嚟呀！」

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「吓？」

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「我幫你抹，你快啲去留堂班啦！」

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「老師唔可咁樣叫學生做嘢架！」佢細細聲同我講：「我費事又比同事話啦！」

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「哎吔！你咪咁婆媽啦！你遲晒到啦！」我催促住佢：「得啦！趁而家教員室冇咩人！我快手搞店啦！」

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Miss Wong猶豫咗陣，最後見佢好感激咁對我點頭：「唔該晒你呀！班長！」說罷了，佢即刻趕去留堂班。走之前同我講：「抹完你就返屋企啦。今日唔留你堂啦！」

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「唔得！我要找清逃學條數呀！」

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Miss Wong反咗我白眼，但佢好快有一下欣慰嘅笑容，佢話：「你鍾意啦下！bye!」

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「嗯！bye bye Miss Wong!」

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我目送Miss Wong 走咗，加上教員室又冇老師，所以我即刻yeah一聲叫咗出嚟！

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我一邊幫Miss Wong抹嘢，一邊回憶今日嘅經歷。我唔止同佢破到冰，佢冇再嬲我！仲同我嘅關係熟咗好多添呀！

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雖然Miss Wong一定睇唔上「中毒陳」，但可以整蠱佢，又令Miss Wong當佢有菌咁避開，算係一大勝利！諗到呢度，我抹嘢嘅動作都一絲不苟起嚟！我心情仲好愉快添，內心有一種感動叫———

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——我做呢隻兵真係做得好幸福啊！

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