隔天夜裡，風從窗縫鑽進來。房間裡很安靜，只有鍵盤偶爾的敲擊聲。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8szD5h49J
賴夏陽正坐在書桌前看著模擬考解答，眼神有些恍惚。他揉了揉太陽穴，覺得最近頭老是痛，胸口也悶得很。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrlYfleTV1
「應該只是太累了吧……」他低聲說，拿起水杯灌了一口。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTzs4ZEEms
但下一秒，他突然開始猛烈地咳嗽——
一聲接著一聲，喉嚨像被火燒一樣難受。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvq84LkCO5
他急忙起身想去廁所，卻沒走兩步就扶著牆滑坐下來。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Zy09pzaYx
咳嗽沒有停，他的手掌按住嘴，卻感覺到一陣濕潤的黏膩。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJa8wjwGAs
當他看見掌心那一抹鮮紅時，整個人都愣住了。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicFg1k7qod
那不是鼻血——
是血，從喉嚨咳出來的。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVWLuREjy9
—
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl66EDQYfxN
他沒有馬上驚慌，只是安靜地坐在地上，看著那血跡發了一會兒呆。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuW2TlpcYz
「……怎麼會這樣？」
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p3hUXKOM1
他的聲音幾乎聽不見。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJ9P1eEYud
幾分鐘後，他勉強起身，洗掉手上的血，換了件衣服，悄悄出門。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVSclCFW6u
沒有跟任何人說。
他只是覺得，不能再拖了。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5JdZNgiF9
這件事，他必須一個人知道答案。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0imoQPosT
醫院的空氣聞起來總是混著消毒水味道，冷冷的，有點刺鼻。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAKS3xuQhn
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYHKbfLu2t
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVu1roowzY7
賴夏陽拿著掛號單，坐在等候區的角落，帽子壓得低低的，背包放在腳邊。他左手插著口袋，右手握著手機，螢幕亮著，但他根本沒在看。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyLPVfYYMi
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1OsmefhBN
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4JLBCloPc
他沒告訴任何人。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZEXCoseH6
不是不信任，只是——不想讓別人擔心。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5EibyJf6q
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfleMN8nbs
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmhMn1elfK
「賴夏陽先生，請進診間三。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJoNSWNuPu
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFunCvesVx
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmFGg9FT7o
他站起來，深吸一口氣，走進診間。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQajqZpIcq
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4LSGJvx93
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJGtQBPPJs
—16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV35Se6Zua2
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXG5A67kYhw
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhoBLvRFqJ
醫生是個中年男人，戴著眼鏡，臉上表情一如既往的冷靜與專業。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3DvUyGHei
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNSPkvcuLZ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vs18PnIbM
他看著報告，看了很久。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwlLtNnTaM
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuaja9vjOY
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvzwdzAKZv
「你的影像資料我們已經仔細判讀過了。」醫生說，聲音平靜卻緩慢，「目前來看，肺部的異常陰影已經明顯擴散，我們懷疑是惡性腫瘤。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdWb8XW9qA
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0mBK11DcI
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDne6B9t0NW
賴夏陽一時間沒有反應。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FrTDfgxpJ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEIUTAO4lv
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pcsyct5Qy
他甚至下意識笑了一下：「惡性……什麼？」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qxruwhThT
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobgCNypljS
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViEsreO3Tz
「肺腺癌，第三期偏晚。建議你盡快安排更進一步的切片與全身檢查，並與家屬討論治療方向，後天再來做一次檢查。」醫生說完這句，才抬起頭看著他：「你今天是一個人來的？」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnMwYEGY51
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfEBMS0I9B
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuT6G7XpMsR
「嗯……我爸媽都在外地工作，不方便過來。」他語氣輕鬆，但指尖抓緊了背包的拉鍊。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bxvcOaNDh
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuaq3ofwOi
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAf1ZR3FUVH
「這不是小病，孩子。」醫生的語氣比剛才溫柔了些，「如果你信得過我，我們會陪你走下一步，但你要讓身邊的人知道。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yg1tMOaw8
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbyNZYmwlO
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4sIs0avEX
夏陽笑了笑：「我知道了。謝謝你。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIaJKqtgUx
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgBsSnteCQ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcLG2poUPu
—16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgF4DrTTTcv
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKC3oLNBvd
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVlAeLFzm7
走出醫院那一刻，陽光很強。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcPXZTkDik
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEq9BL4CR5
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yHSeCcCgC
他站在門口的陰影下，低頭看著手裡那份檢查報告。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaw8hxdpKY
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4Rxg0y0HN
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlB3iI8J93
手有一點抖。他不記得自己最後一次怕成這樣是什麼時候——是國小第一次騎腳踏車摔倒？還是那次父母吵架，把家裡東西摔得亂七八糟？16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZf0P0pYql
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwdYVPJLvs
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvI4P9fstJ
都不是。這種感覺更孤單。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5rptpWBh5
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfLi5QM68i
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpD93AFIwft
他把報告折起來，收進背包最底層。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1AIaxZ3uO
接著掏出手機，給冬月傳了一則訊息：16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRyAK23PcS
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2i3cayPw1
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGBFRywcru
【等等要不要吃甜不辣？我今天嘴巴很饞。】16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnl0foWlAVJ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZF0D2IkEH
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWI9TMMxp6
螢幕亮起時，心裡的某個東西也默默碎了一小塊。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpG0Ku5686
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOALuQw1J3p
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZmfDEGN18
但他的語氣，還是一如往常的陽光。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TqgDDT7yN
這天，醫院裡沒什麼人，窗外陰雲低壓，像雨快要落下。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yU2fUqFrS
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkqma1ZUNB
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWM7rOS2nM
賴夏陽坐在診間外，一隻手撐著額頭，一隻手握著手機，螢幕停在一張和陳冬月的合照。照片裡她笑得很甜，笑眼彎彎，而他就在旁邊笑著看她。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTMJDr6VAb
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLLQeAIiGc
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlSkVFu1m0
診間的門開了。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7WttQ00KS
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WBXmT4uGJ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeQH6Seoza
「賴夏陽，進來吧。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGoOwX3uNW
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYMHKh0Em1
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSPat8cRLj
—16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TYFFveL8j
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4YXPoEtvV
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeB377KvDq
這次的報告比上次厚了一些。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWECe18KCM
醫生沒有立刻說話，而是翻閱資料，再三確認過數據後才抬起頭。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYhw8pNi0r
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jhxCp6sqe
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJode1yVky
「夏陽，這次的結果出來了。我們已經進行過切片、影像與血液標記檢查……很遺憾地告訴你——你目前的病情是肺腺癌第四期，癌細胞已經轉移到淋巴與骨骼組織。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2GLY2j1JK
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKcf56Uv6I
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONfk25nC65
他愣了一下，眼睛眨也沒眨，但胸口突然像被重錘打了一下。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HbfO34xOZ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfs7cBgoal
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lkbSS7MXF
醫生語氣盡量柔和：「以目前情況來看，若不接受侵入性治療，存活期大約只剩下三個月左右。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvW9v9qQLMu
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodmnJN3fBa
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11j9STxsmp
「……三個月。」他重複了一次，聲音低得像喃喃自語。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9SohOQ0K4
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdYKtSXgMh
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKiyQzuAGz
「是。」醫生點頭，「如果願意配合化療、標靶，或許可以爭取更多時間，但這些治療……會很辛苦，副作用也很強。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd855g0LxPW
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡValtP1Mm2d
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaevvRRPq7X
賴夏陽沒有馬上說話，只是靜靜地坐著，視線落在桌面某個角落。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6uUbn4eDP
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2zuOAZCek
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DgRXY0sWQ
「這些話你今天第一次聽到，可能會很難接受。」醫生遞了一杯水給他，「你需要一些時間，也建議你讓家人知道，這不是你可以獨自扛下的事。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIw7obh6Fae
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkaypcMAdA
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KwR3XE23E
他看著那杯水，手卻沒伸出去。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡno0oF6gffV
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYRcEkhpIS
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡau2XT3RxLh
「……謝謝你告訴我。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNj7AKGwWQl
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeIxTr5QWn
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudFpxb4Rb6
「夏陽——」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8R0APxRibh
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpjPe1Zyme
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HqPwKO6YE
「我知道該怎麼做。」他輕輕打斷醫生，語氣還是那麼平靜，「我只是……還有幾個人，我想再陪陪他們，然後，我會處理好我自己的事。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xoJI3CSth
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBDiYn1PaE
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6V4Tx6EtWC
—16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWOK7ZFMG9
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJjsGyaM7p
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqD6EJC3x0
走出診間的時候，他沒哭。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1CtKyu0YB
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDo4ieUpwjl
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsNJ19MyCZ
只是手指一直摩擦著褲邊的縫線，像是用這個動作提醒自己還活著。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVvpdULB8u
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnn2iFYEzdM
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkryXS7PmG
三個月。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6v9OzDLc4
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZwC8fX3gr
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBh7DENrY9
這是醫生說出口，但彷彿用刀刻在他心口的字。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIOuPVSRiS
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbVyGhbL6n
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2D7pwe39ZV
他走到醫院樓下，站在陽光底下。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNgvoM29bo
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTuB6X339j
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtJVWTxakS
這天的天氣很好，天空藍得像不會崩塌的夢。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcxTx31ACE
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZII1OwaCL
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DUvuZp9tB
可他知道，自己的世界，開始倒數了。
醫生說，只剩三個月。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z9u6diNbG
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTaQz6b1CD
「不過也有例外。」
「你可以選擇化療，但……機會不大。」
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTg2hNdt7EG
他搖了搖頭。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8lgq2RI7M
他想到冬月。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq30vxZ2pjU
不行，他不能讓她親眼看見他一點一點地衰弱。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmb04ZCKOu
那會成為她一輩子的夢魘。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JFjbYJeTW
他要把最好的自己，留在她記憶裡。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirZQJrcNBB
—
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREME78F5Bo
那幾天，他突然變得格外貼心，天天接她放學、帶她去吃她喜歡的甜點、看電影、吹風，什麼都順著她。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0zvMFkIH9
冬月察覺到他的異樣，卻說不上來是哪裡。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6Xf6Tu3j4
她只知道，這幾天像一場夢。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlVHuNvqlz
是他們之間，最美的一場夢。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKw4j1TZp3
—
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiETFQppuM
幾天後，他開始變冷淡，不再主動、不再回訊息，眼神也不再柔軟。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9uLzqlM0c
她問他：「你怎麼了？」
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkGNo5ifKE
他只是淡淡地說：「我們……是不是該給彼此一點空間？」
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyrgojgOwZ
她愣住。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpmFpfsh4r
一顆心，瞬間凍住。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJCCfBqYUI
—
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXH4zB6jW8
然後，他消失了。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvkve4Cu4G
只留下一封信。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwV3LsFVKaJ
「小月亮，對不起，我太自私了。我不想讓妳看著我慢慢死去。妳值得更好的人生、更完整的愛。
所以我選擇一個人去走這段路——
到我人生最後的冬天。」
