Kwamé has been here for over two hours, and has barely said anything. That has given me more than enough time to openly stare at him - and he's damn good looking. His face is perfectly chiseled, his brows perfectly arched, and his grey, almond eyes perfectly set in his warm caramel coloured face.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZXazUML9O
He's made me soup, taken care of me, made sure that I'm alright - but he's procrastinating. A part of me knew he would, knew that he'd be reluctant to tell me. In a way, he's just as indecisive as I am. He just sits there looking at his glass in his hands, not wanting to address the very large elephants in the room.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAUL5tcr1Q
"You know that you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later," I insist.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVQuZJNjmV
"How about later?" he suggests as he looks at the beautifully designed green carpet spread out across the living room floor. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3UeRJ2cH1
"Kwamé."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vCI8s1Eif
"What?" he asks.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrE2pQOJntm
"Talk to me. Please."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc62igDrb38
He looks down and sighs heavily, his grey eyes glued to the floor. "I don't know what to say."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IcfQm38jQ
"Let's address the fact that I'm seeing you in human form for the first time," I suggest. At the moment, it is the more intriguing topic. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiChpq9hloV
"Let's not talk about that. I only did it so that I could take care of you."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ890rsCLs7N
"Kwamé, this is big," I tell him, stating the obvious. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8W4rloR0J
"I know, and I hope it won't happen again. You need some friends."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYW8ecUPg6
"How did you know that I was sick?" I ask, changing the subject. I don't want to talk about my lack of friends right now. It's never bothered me before, so I don't know why it should now. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGdbIMOmKQ
"I heard you sniffling and vomiting last night, and this morning, your breathing sounded off."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyTBJK7rif
"Woah, wait- my breathing?" I ask, about an octave higher that my normal pitch. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFO28PTVUv
"Yeah, I hear things better than humans."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIt5QaPt8z
"So you heard our conversation last night?"772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahxJsu0Tmi
"I could hear you talking, but I wasn't listening to the words. I wasn't paying attention. I wanted to give you privacy."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGPTmQIlTO
"How kind of you," I say, surprised by his behaviour. Then again, I don't really know him, do I? Where it me, I would probably eavesdrop. No, I would definitely eavesdrop. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2hr8TnqxJ
"Well, while I am inquisitive, I do have my limits."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3pMVy7QQb
"Well, that's good to know."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupwAPwLJWy
We sit in silence for a few moments, before he clears his throat.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVPtI0MTgn
"So, I have a story for you."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WryckAnad
Finally.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOfbpoSeB0
I place the now empty soup bowl on the coffee table, and look at him, sitting in the chair opposite me. He mimics my actions with his glass. I wait for him to begin. For a moment, I don't think that he'll tell me. However, something in my eyes must encourage him, because I see it in his eyes the second that he makes his decision.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zJlDE3Rno
He laughs without humour, and then exhales deeply.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGN8Amqpf74
"I was born on Saturday, July 7, 1677, to a slave mother and a white, plantation owner father. My father decided to keep me as a member of the household - not quite a son - instead of as a slave. I guess he couldn't stand the idea of having a member of his bloodline working in a field or as a house slave. He treated me with ambivalence; for my whole life, he was, at best, merely tolerant of me. The only person who ever showed me true love was my mother. When I was nineteen, my father died. He had no close relatives, but rather than let his father's plantation go to the government, he left it to his bastard half-breed son. That is all he ever saw me as, anyway." He stops to take a deep breath before continuing his story. "I, however, was overcome with the power rush of actually owning something for once in my life. He wrote it in his will to ensure my freedom, so that no one would try to take advantage of me, force me into slavery. I mistook my father's actions for love, and I forsook those who did love me. My mother, brothers, my sister, and all the other slaves... I didn't abuse them, but I'd be lying if I said that the power didn't get to my head. The problem isn't with what I did, though... It's with what I didn't do. I didn't free them."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykLvOEUl8v
"So when you died...?" I ask, trailing off. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoGiwskoTv
"I died at age twenty six, a few days before my twenty seventh birthday. Pneumonia."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMTbDnNcoa
"Your mother?" I push, although I can take a pretty good guess as to what happened. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8GEhnQuWo
"I didn't write a will, and I had no heirs, so when I died, she remained a slave, and the plantation went to the government. I could have helped her, helped them, helped all of them... but I was so damn selfish."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoX6O68YBvm
Damn. I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't that.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdGCtqWwei
"So, you see, I'm a monster," he tells me with a painful smile on his face. I can see the hurt and anger deep in his eyes. Anger directed inwards, at himself. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFgYciZ2Jf
"No, you're not," I reassure him. "Formerly an asshole, maybe. But from what I've seen, you're not a monster."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CrHxZ2ZOI
"So why have I been damned to this for eternity?" Despise the obvious feelings that can be read on his face, his voice is monotonous, devoid of any emotion. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNS0pWAPzq
He has a good point.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81DrzjdgBG
"Maybe, it is you," I tell him. "Maybe, it's a result of the way that you saw yourself when you were dying. How did you feel? What did you feel?" I ask him.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDDLzS5xrg
He looks into my eyes, and then looks down, biting his lip, before letting out a huge sigh.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBNFfj8sZ5
"Regret. Regret and self-loathing. I hated myself for not loving my family while I was alive. I called for a lawyer to get my will in place, but when he arrived, I was too far gone."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDnUbqvuuN
Can you ever... move on?" I ask him.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROYAeg2z1Q
He chuckles softly.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9bnXjehs2
"No. I'm stuck like this forever."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYsKKtfnPA
"If you can be human, why is it so bad?"772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7oUBEaGb0
"Because we always want to go back to being an animal. There's always that urge to be what you're meant to be- a murderous bull."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7g9rLI1Pc
"Murderous?"772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUec3amLV4
"Yes. It makes you angry. Makes you want to kill, feed off of the fear of others, feel some kind of power and control when you've been powerless for so long." While he's talking, he stared into my eyes with great determination - trying to convince me that he is a monster.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQX5mBZbH1
"Have you ever done that?"772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vrt12iUzt
"Once. He was my enemy."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JtURQaJqQ
"Oh."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSrDUF1ttN
I can tell that there's more to the story, but he leaves it at that, probably in an attempt to scare me.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hIO9AmY1z
"I like you, Kwamé," I tell him. "And you don't scare me."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZsRq5gRRW
"I should."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEXWCb9SMk
"But you don't." Truthfully, I see no reason to fear him. He thinks he's worse than he really is. Consumed by guilt, he's become this person filled with self hatred and self loathing, convinced that he's an evil entity.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGJBm8ZWaC
I don't believe that that is true. He needs to give himself another chance.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtikLXMtQc4
But if I am to tell him that... then I also need to be forgiving. I need to give my mother another chance.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblM1b5FNSF
"Tell you what - how about we both learn forgiveness? You try to forgive yourself, and I try to forgive my mother. Starting now."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iJMLmIYDw
"You'll give her another chance?" he asks hopefully. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeO9eEwtdsn
"If you do the same for yourself. I'll meet with her soon."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMb2WLVwtiw
Looking rather torn, he looks into my eyes as if searching deep into my soul for an alternative. When he finds none, he lets out a deep sigh.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLS9TjtpHZ
"Fine. But I'm only doing this for your mother."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksYru6dqIs
I show my gratitude with a large smile stretching from ear to ear. As I look at him sitting there, unsure as ever, I know that I won't regret this decision. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdWIpMkgl4
***772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cHkcN2pNf
School has become one of the most boring, mundane things that I have ever experienced. Perhaps it's due to the supernatural that has filled my life in every other aspect. Still, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate in lab sessions, which is never a good thing. Today, though... today, I have a plan. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLhiVR5JbC
After sneaking past a sleeping Kwamé laying on my couch - I didn't even know that he slept - I planned on going to do some research. The main library hosts an extensive collection of books, some of which must be on Jamaican folklore. I came up with this plan the last time I spoke to Kwamé, actually. I decided that I would try to find out as much as possible on the topic. However, as we all know, things don't always turn out the way we want. Or that's what I'm hearing now, since I've never had this problem before. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRrGgW08IT
"No ID, no entrance," the guard outside of the library says to me. The fact that I'm sick only makes me more irritable. I don't know if she can tell I that I'm seething, but she leans back in her seat, moving away from me. Of course, I would have to leave my ID at home today of all days. Of course.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymGSeenqsE
"Look, I'll give you my ID number," I try to bargain, sniffling a few times. "620114-"772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfIiEQZtFL
"No," she insists, "I need the actual ID."772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUY8lK91Wz
So of course, my brilliant plan falls through.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOCoAX3sJd
Instead of having a library of books available to me, all I have is the internet. Which is still pretty good. Sitting on the library steps in my oversized sweater, I pull out my iPad and type in Rolling Calf in the search engine... only to find nothing, because unsurprisingly, the WiFi is being a bitch and a half. I grind my teeth so hard, it feels as if they could crush diamonds. Exhaling steadily, I agree with myself that I will continue my search once I get home.772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVhP3bwiaa
This seamed like a better idea in my head, because once I reach home, and into my room with Kwamé in the shower outside (not the en suite one) the only things that pop up are things that I already know. Some of it I suspect to be utter rubbish, for example, throwing things on the ground for a rolling calf to count, and then running away. I can hardly imagine Kwamé stopping to count rice grains while his "victim" escapes, or getting confused at an intersection*. In terms of the river mumma, I knew this already, except for one small detail:772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnafpzZTfil
During the times of slavery, sacrifices would be made to the river mumma during a drought, or when someone wanted to cross the river. The fish in that area would not be eaten, because they were thought to be her children. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4tBHZjT4X
Paraphrasing a bit, but that's basically what it says. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yoKxBb9Uk
I was aware of the part where the fish were her children, but the rest sounds like utter bullcrap. Then again, isn't anything possible at this point in time? 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcwvWARGhh
Duppies: been there, done that. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxEG2kJ2j3
However, there's one thing there that I don't hear about every day, even though I know about it: Ol' Higue. Ol' Higue... I remember read a poem about her for my CSEC* Literature exam. The creature is an old witch who sheds her skin and takes the form of what some say to be an owl, and what others say to be a ball of light - personally, I think that owl is more plausible, but who the hell knows anymore - and preys on people in their sleep, especially babies. Kind of like a vampire. If salt is placed on her skin she will not be able to put it back on, which will make her vulnerable. If you throw rice on the ground - why are we so obsessed with rice? - she will have to count it. This was thought to be an explanation to grieving mothers for SIDS, but knowing what I know now, it's probably true. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsr3x1zgm97
But none of this helps me, since I already know most of it. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3APKRikM2a
Sighing, I go to my bookshelf and pull out my "World of Poetry" book to look for clues. I sit and skim through the poems, some of which I was assigned. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSvGzl2ZYt
"Ol' Higue... 'Le loupgarou'..." I stop dead when I spot a poem that I've never read before. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC74dDTltY7
My Mother's Sea Chanty. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWdg7nCmav
It's a poem about a woman who's mother is a mermaid... in the sea. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6FO6iP86i
With a huff of frustration, I slam the book closed. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0LbmQRvS1
Deciding to take a different approach, I research Obeah spells, abandoning my quest to explain Kwamé for the time being. It is rather odd to be researching something that scares the crap out of you, just for the sake of understanding yourself. In a way, it kind of means that you're scared of yourself. Depressing, really. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQwWBQeayj
I come across an anti bad luck charm, something that I might need soon if I continue on this trajectory. It looks too simple, though, reminding me of a Harry Potter spell, like "Expecto Patronum". Still, I screenshot it, and continue my search. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3S1I4jJNAY
It is then that I find something that is rather frightening. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5QnXSHxrg
I come across a website that offers obeah spells, and says that payment is not needed until results are seen. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Eq3t81M5j
Now although I have always believed in obeah, I also know that many people who claim to perform "obeah" are scammers, preying on uneducated families with children who have mental illnesses or seizure disorders. It is a common misconception among many Jamaicans that seizures are caused by demon possession. But this... this is as real as it can possibly get. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSk374vz7PO
Quickly, I exit the website, as if something is going to jump out the screen at me. I'm frightened, I can't deny it. If I did, my pulse rate and breathing would definitely give me away. But other than fear, there's something else... 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPMSo8Lr9N
Excitement. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OxNs1mchA
Oh dear God, Nya. You're in for a rough ride, aren't you?772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrUTAH1VEF
And for once, I completely agree with my inner voice, no indecisiveness, just acceptance. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxa6DT0gQh
***772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsOV7sBHCX
A/N772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1DuOpTDMQ
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0w1HBLNCI
I actually found a website that said that 😅772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UmV7FFaUU
Also, the thing about an intersection: supposedly, if you go to an intersection, the rolling calf will get confused. They are also afraid of being beaten by a whip (some say specifically a tarred whip in the left hand). They supposedly carry a chain and / or a bell, so you can hear them approaching, but I didn't want Kwamé to have that. 772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsi4blKA0P
*CSEC: Caribbean Secondary Examination Certificate.
ns216.73.216.210da2
