Kwamé has been here for over two hours, and has barely said anything. That has given me more than enough time to openly stare at him - and he's damn good looking. His face is perfectly chiseled, his brows perfectly arched, and his grey, almond eyes perfectly set in his warm caramel coloured face.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5fc6yCNkS
He's made me soup, taken care of me, made sure that I'm alright - but he's procrastinating. A part of me knew he would, knew that he'd be reluctant to tell me. In a way, he's just as indecisive as I am. He just sits there looking at his glass in his hands, not wanting to address the very large elephants in the room.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGl4ABdOX05
"You know that you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later," I insist.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8g60aHSJe5
"How about later?" he suggests as he looks at the beautifully designed green carpet spread out across the living room floor. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLUGHLCF2e
"Kwamé."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ypzMdueqU
"What?" he asks.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOcnDDTnky
"Talk to me. Please."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3V4jpFggk
He looks down and sighs heavily, his grey eyes glued to the floor. "I don't know what to say."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGO3mjuYcKN
"Let's address the fact that I'm seeing you in human form for the first time," I suggest. At the moment, it is the more intriguing topic. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfmWsoChY7
"Let's not talk about that. I only did it so that I could take care of you."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IPfZR5NsZ
"Kwamé, this is big," I tell him, stating the obvious. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsh4IIe50gu
"I know, and I hope it won't happen again. You need some friends."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJqXhDL8q5
"How did you know that I was sick?" I ask, changing the subject. I don't want to talk about my lack of friends right now. It's never bothered me before, so I don't know why it should now. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ekkMcXTMD
"I heard you sniffling and vomiting last night, and this morning, your breathing sounded off."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoVEJXmZGg
"Woah, wait- my breathing?" I ask, about an octave higher that my normal pitch. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0A8xTGvlE
"Yeah, I hear things better than humans."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ0Pez4GSM
"So you heard our conversation last night?"750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eH1OnrYR5
"I could hear you talking, but I wasn't listening to the words. I wasn't paying attention. I wanted to give you privacy."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhIyCuxzFR
"How kind of you," I say, surprised by his behaviour. Then again, I don't really know him, do I? Where it me, I would probably eavesdrop. No, I would definitely eavesdrop. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7PICYqbTc
"Well, while I am inquisitive, I do have my limits."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UIMYqOLvi
"Well, that's good to know."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2tykzOS2x
We sit in silence for a few moments, before he clears his throat.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdE1bD1Zu62
"So, I have a story for you."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEgAHgjwp5
Finally.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQH1if4YBI
I place the now empty soup bowl on the coffee table, and look at him, sitting in the chair opposite me. He mimics my actions with his glass. I wait for him to begin. For a moment, I don't think that he'll tell me. However, something in my eyes must encourage him, because I see it in his eyes the second that he makes his decision.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBE5wSfs1S
He laughs without humour, and then exhales deeply.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakGSeDXdzd
"I was born on Saturday, July 7, 1677, to a slave mother and a white, plantation owner father. My father decided to keep me as a member of the household - not quite a son - instead of as a slave. I guess he couldn't stand the idea of having a member of his bloodline working in a field or as a house slave. He treated me with ambivalence; for my whole life, he was, at best, merely tolerant of me. The only person who ever showed me true love was my mother. When I was nineteen, my father died. He had no close relatives, but rather than let his father's plantation go to the government, he left it to his bastard half-breed son. That is all he ever saw me as, anyway." He stops to take a deep breath before continuing his story. "I, however, was overcome with the power rush of actually owning something for once in my life. He wrote it in his will to ensure my freedom, so that no one would try to take advantage of me, force me into slavery. I mistook my father's actions for love, and I forsook those who did love me. My mother, brothers, my sister, and all the other slaves... I didn't abuse them, but I'd be lying if I said that the power didn't get to my head. The problem isn't with what I did, though... It's with what I didn't do. I didn't free them."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIS1mq96T4
"So when you died...?" I ask, trailing off. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMDHo3cwgB
"I died at age twenty six, a few days before my twenty seventh birthday. Pneumonia."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3BNeZB8fE
"Your mother?" I push, although I can take a pretty good guess as to what happened. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkclBwzg3HE
"I didn't write a will, and I had no heirs, so when I died, she remained a slave, and the plantation went to the government. I could have helped her, helped them, helped all of them... but I was so damn selfish."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwlN8hOeHF
Damn. I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't that.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGavbcEEQi
"So, you see, I'm a monster," he tells me with a painful smile on his face. I can see the hurt and anger deep in his eyes. Anger directed inwards, at himself. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4PXZtE8Iw
"No, you're not," I reassure him. "Formerly an asshole, maybe. But from what I've seen, you're not a monster."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbw5BbYNiZz
"So why have I been damned to this for eternity?" Despise the obvious feelings that can be read on his face, his voice is monotonous, devoid of any emotion. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3VZfp1q4B
He has a good point.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFgKsC5Dp3
"Maybe, it is you," I tell him. "Maybe, it's a result of the way that you saw yourself when you were dying. How did you feel? What did you feel?" I ask him.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1DtrDjSxF
He looks into my eyes, and then looks down, biting his lip, before letting out a huge sigh.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZ8UUBW6U9
"Regret. Regret and self-loathing. I hated myself for not loving my family while I was alive. I called for a lawyer to get my will in place, but when he arrived, I was too far gone."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dxA5i0PIk
Can you ever... move on?" I ask him.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRz1JBIcoiu
He chuckles softly.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEyAEKUH0I
"No. I'm stuck like this forever."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsNuMy2DTU
"If you can be human, why is it so bad?"750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuarM8lb3i
"Because we always want to go back to being an animal. There's always that urge to be what you're meant to be- a murderous bull."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQC4O26llE
"Murderous?"750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjyQaBugPw
"Yes. It makes you angry. Makes you want to kill, feed off of the fear of others, feel some kind of power and control when you've been powerless for so long." While he's talking, he stared into my eyes with great determination - trying to convince me that he is a monster.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPVbiG6BQA
"Have you ever done that?"750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡME52qTgKRh
"Once. He was my enemy."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxU2SqBjyMV
"Oh."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSzG979yYt
I can tell that there's more to the story, but he leaves it at that, probably in an attempt to scare me.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeCSxKSH47
"I like you, Kwamé," I tell him. "And you don't scare me."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFy9vFknXju
"I should."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYS5ygg0fqs
"But you don't." Truthfully, I see no reason to fear him. He thinks he's worse than he really is. Consumed by guilt, he's become this person filled with self hatred and self loathing, convinced that he's an evil entity.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbJdkG622u
I don't believe that that is true. He needs to give himself another chance.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtcbs85SyR
But if I am to tell him that... then I also need to be forgiving. I need to give my mother another chance.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW63Dlx3gj1
"Tell you what - how about we both learn forgiveness? You try to forgive yourself, and I try to forgive my mother. Starting now."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSukbHhAGv7
"You'll give her another chance?" he asks hopefully. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZxcelbAMq
"If you do the same for yourself. I'll meet with her soon."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMccATWksH
Looking rather torn, he looks into my eyes as if searching deep into my soul for an alternative. When he finds none, he lets out a deep sigh.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCFqb0fBF3
"Fine. But I'm only doing this for your mother."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfq6yYC6aU
I show my gratitude with a large smile stretching from ear to ear. As I look at him sitting there, unsure as ever, I know that I won't regret this decision. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6SDCrMS9j
***750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWqqtZ4f0Y
School has become one of the most boring, mundane things that I have ever experienced. Perhaps it's due to the supernatural that has filled my life in every other aspect. Still, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate in lab sessions, which is never a good thing. Today, though... today, I have a plan. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk60fgmGQQ
After sneaking past a sleeping Kwamé laying on my couch - I didn't even know that he slept - I planned on going to do some research. The main library hosts an extensive collection of books, some of which must be on Jamaican folklore. I came up with this plan the last time I spoke to Kwamé, actually. I decided that I would try to find out as much as possible on the topic. However, as we all know, things don't always turn out the way we want. Or that's what I'm hearing now, since I've never had this problem before. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsxHp4mqmB
"No ID, no entrance," the guard outside of the library says to me. The fact that I'm sick only makes me more irritable. I don't know if she can tell I that I'm seething, but she leans back in her seat, moving away from me. Of course, I would have to leave my ID at home today of all days. Of course.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKR7JGpR4ys
"Look, I'll give you my ID number," I try to bargain, sniffling a few times. "620114-"750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZWA7IZwdq
"No," she insists, "I need the actual ID."750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumpV6jWW5R
So of course, my brilliant plan falls through.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKdFSjZiu1
Instead of having a library of books available to me, all I have is the internet. Which is still pretty good. Sitting on the library steps in my oversized sweater, I pull out my iPad and type in Rolling Calf in the search engine... only to find nothing, because unsurprisingly, the WiFi is being a bitch and a half. I grind my teeth so hard, it feels as if they could crush diamonds. Exhaling steadily, I agree with myself that I will continue my search once I get home.750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpty8RdORUP
This seamed like a better idea in my head, because once I reach home, and into my room with Kwamé in the shower outside (not the en suite one) the only things that pop up are things that I already know. Some of it I suspect to be utter rubbish, for example, throwing things on the ground for a rolling calf to count, and then running away. I can hardly imagine Kwamé stopping to count rice grains while his "victim" escapes, or getting confused at an intersection*. In terms of the river mumma, I knew this already, except for one small detail:750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWx8nAlZX3Z
During the times of slavery, sacrifices would be made to the river mumma during a drought, or when someone wanted to cross the river. The fish in that area would not be eaten, because they were thought to be her children. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxsg0D5qjJ
Paraphrasing a bit, but that's basically what it says. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qQJlWj4Lf
I was aware of the part where the fish were her children, but the rest sounds like utter bullcrap. Then again, isn't anything possible at this point in time? 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaUzuYWuBf
Duppies: been there, done that. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVzPRpxXvu
However, there's one thing there that I don't hear about every day, even though I know about it: Ol' Higue. Ol' Higue... I remember read a poem about her for my CSEC* Literature exam. The creature is an old witch who sheds her skin and takes the form of what some say to be an owl, and what others say to be a ball of light - personally, I think that owl is more plausible, but who the hell knows anymore - and preys on people in their sleep, especially babies. Kind of like a vampire. If salt is placed on her skin she will not be able to put it back on, which will make her vulnerable. If you throw rice on the ground - why are we so obsessed with rice? - she will have to count it. This was thought to be an explanation to grieving mothers for SIDS, but knowing what I know now, it's probably true. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnO1HJiD8Ip
But none of this helps me, since I already know most of it. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyqoDSiyAh
Sighing, I go to my bookshelf and pull out my "World of Poetry" book to look for clues. I sit and skim through the poems, some of which I was assigned. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJk2Kc1wOZ
"Ol' Higue... 'Le loupgarou'..." I stop dead when I spot a poem that I've never read before. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1T9gOID9DJ
My Mother's Sea Chanty. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjRE1rrlMN
It's a poem about a woman who's mother is a mermaid... in the sea. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHKWI5YJUb
With a huff of frustration, I slam the book closed. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvue6K11mg
Deciding to take a different approach, I research Obeah spells, abandoning my quest to explain Kwamé for the time being. It is rather odd to be researching something that scares the crap out of you, just for the sake of understanding yourself. In a way, it kind of means that you're scared of yourself. Depressing, really. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLYZ2SakvF
I come across an anti bad luck charm, something that I might need soon if I continue on this trajectory. It looks too simple, though, reminding me of a Harry Potter spell, like "Expecto Patronum". Still, I screenshot it, and continue my search. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEA2i2AEN2
It is then that I find something that is rather frightening. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzix7ko4EtT
I come across a website that offers obeah spells, and says that payment is not needed until results are seen. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2N3vaID1hY
Now although I have always believed in obeah, I also know that many people who claim to perform "obeah" are scammers, preying on uneducated families with children who have mental illnesses or seizure disorders. It is a common misconception among many Jamaicans that seizures are caused by demon possession. But this... this is as real as it can possibly get. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3q91E7TzF
Quickly, I exit the website, as if something is going to jump out the screen at me. I'm frightened, I can't deny it. If I did, my pulse rate and breathing would definitely give me away. But other than fear, there's something else... 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sdNhMrsvM
Excitement. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUns8BDD1v
Oh dear God, Nya. You're in for a rough ride, aren't you?750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcESajrUOC4
And for once, I completely agree with my inner voice, no indecisiveness, just acceptance. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLswPlOEib
***750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWas6bOVsT
A/N750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJTNeIbf9H
750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVfDt2wlIt
I actually found a website that said that 😅750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKc6pVVecEP
Also, the thing about an intersection: supposedly, if you go to an intersection, the rolling calf will get confused. They are also afraid of being beaten by a whip (some say specifically a tarred whip in the left hand). They supposedly carry a chain and / or a bell, so you can hear them approaching, but I didn't want Kwamé to have that. 750Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7kjGy3ajR
*CSEC: Caribbean Secondary Examination Certificate.
ns216.73.216.0da2
