After the visit to the cemetery, I decided I wanted to go home and talk to my mom about the letter I found. I hadn't talked to anyone about it and I wanted to discuss it with her before my session with Dr. Alder tomorrow. I wonder if she would tell me to find him, or stay here and just wonder what could have been.506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAem3pbb5B
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I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do. In all honesty, I hadn't thought about the letter for awhile. It's not that I didn't want to, it's just that to me, there were more pressing matters at hand. Like the nightmares. Something told me they were just going to keep getting worse. And what if I had a dream about killing Jared, and then he's found dead?506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrhXWHY03j
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Even though I'm not actually the one doing these things, it's terrifying to know that someone is. I feel like whoever it is, is trying to get to me, because they're murdering the people around me. First John, then Cassie. Who was next? That was the hardest thing to thing about. About who out of the people around me would be savagely killed, either shot, stabbed, or whatever else the killer chose to do to them.506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRDyIx22GW
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These were the things I thought about as Jude drove me to my house. We didn't talk about Abbie, though I was curious, and we didn't talk about the kiss that never should have happened. We didn't talk about anything he turned down my road. Then he turned to me, his eyes serious.506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rDBuJrDoQ
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"Kendall." His voice was urgent now. "I have to tell you something."506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyLHOQzFVl
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I looked at him. "If it's about the kiss, don't worry about it. I know it was wrong, that I shouldn't have done it. I have a boyfriend."506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSR8iEMjcjr
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Jude scoffed. "Right. A boyfriend who just pushes you away and leaves you standing alone in an empty school parking lot. Tell me, have you heard from him since then?"506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XMPn8dwLZ
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"Well no."506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6o8lSIg8g4
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"Exactly. But that isn't what I wanted to talk about."506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rfuzTlMFU
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"Can it wait?" I asked as we pulled closer to my house. I opened the door and looked back at him.506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJelm0qkpEH
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"No," he said, shaking his head. He reached over and cupped my cheek. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," he murmured, more to himself than me. "It was just fucking business, I was not supposed to get attached."506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdK2Z4IcOLU
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I blinked, removed his hand, and said, "What's going on?"506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRvct09Bpi
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"Do you think it was by luck that I began talking to you? I wish it was. I wish I wasn't in this shitty situation, but I am, and I'm about to make it worse."506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7dyxjTVZg
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"What are you talking about?"506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUZU5M9I3f
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The fact that he couldn't even look at me hurt. Slowly, I grasped his hand and held it tightly.506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tVJmaFemu
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"You can tell me anything, you know. I'm not going to judge you."506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQlimyfjMF
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He looked at me and smiled. The smile was all wrong. It wasn't warm or caring, but like he knew whatever he had to tell me I wasn't going to like. That maybe I would hate it. Maybe I would hate him. I didn't think that last part was possible.506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBJck8lzfL
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"I was paid a lot of money to befriend you, Kendall. I was supposed to get information about you for someone. I don't even really know who the guy is, but anyway, I don't want to do it anymore. I care about you and I'm not willing to ruin what I have with you for a few bucks."506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hkciUydj8
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I couldn't believe what he was telling me. I was so mad that I started to tremble. Every part of me wanted to hit him. When I spoke, my voice was chipped, bitter.506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBr9cfjNWZ
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"How much money?"506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtiW7KAqyW
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"Excuse me?" Jude said. He stammered a little when he said it. He wasn't expecting that question.506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ351YSqrwxZ
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"How much money were you offered to put up a false friendship? How much was my agony worth to you?" I glared at him. "How fucking much?" I slammed my foot into the dashboard of his car, breaking the glove compartment open. Papers fluttered out and I heard him make a noise, then I looked down.506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsRilZhFhJ
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My face, all different angles and views, stared up at me.506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIt9GWLxr2M