Never succumb to the temptation of giving up
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All I heard was laughter and whispers as I walked the halls of my school, or as I like to call it, my personal hell. Eyes were staring at me with disgust held in them. Jocks shoved me into every corner, calling me names that I didn't even associate myself with. I often thought back to when my life wasn't like this, but it was all a blur, seeing as how I've been bullied for years. This lifestyle completely broke me to the point where I've grown tired of living.
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Who am I? You may be wondering. Well, I'm Angelina Winters and this is my story.
. . .
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I walked into my first period which was Math. I was smart, which made everyone label me as a first-class nerd. I sat in my usual seat, all the way to the back, in hopes of keeping myself unnoticed. "Good morning everyone, today we are going to be turning to page 42." As I turned to the page I heard someone snicker, I looked up and saw the whole class looking at me and I frowned, confused as to why they were doing this. I had no idea why my classmates hated me so much, I had no friends and the only companion that kept me occupied in school was dancing. I ignored them and continued turning to the page. When I arrived at page 42, my eyes widened when I saw what they did to it. I only now understood why everyone was watching me. On that faithful page was a picture of me with the words "go kill yourself" on it, tears started streaming down my face and I ran out of the class ignoring my teachers calls.
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I ran into the bathroom and locked the stall door. I couldn't breathe, this wasn't the first time they told me something like this but it still hurt badly. I cried until I felt numb until I couldn't feel anything.
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I walked out of the bathroom and headed straight for the school door. I walked around for a while until I found myself on the roof of a very high building. I was standing so close to the edge, looking down at the world and the people walking who were oblivious to what was going to happen next. I was about to jump when someone pulled me back, I started screaming and trashing in their arms. I pushed myself out of the person's arms and fell, not from the building, but down the stairs, bumping my head in the process.
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My eyes started to flutter shut and the last thing I saw was a dark figure walking towards me.
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Dream
I was floating on air, in a beautiful white dress. I felt alive and happy for once in my life and nothing could take that away. I jumped around in a field of flowers, throwing myself down everyone once in a while. I began to laugh at how amazing and happy I felt for once. My laughter, however, was brought to an abrupt end by a loud beeping noise, slowly making my smile turn into a deep frown.
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End Dream
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Beep
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Beep
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Beep
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Beep
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My eyes opened slowly, squinting from the bright light. I looked around observing that I was in a hospital room. All my hopes of finally feeling free were demolished. "Sis, your awake!" Exclaimed a voice from my side. I turned my head slowly to find my brother, Josh, my legal guardian.
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Our parents had left us when I was just five years old and Josh was 18. My brother had been taking care of me ever since and for that I am grateful. His eyes were red and puffed and his hair was a mess. "How long was I out?" I croaked out seeing as my voice had decided to turn into one of a frog. He handed me a glass of water which I happily accepted. "A couple of hours, Lina, why didn't you tell me you were depressed? Why didn't you tell me you were bullied?" He asked softly. "Y-you work so hard and I didn't want to burden you anymore Josh, I'm sorry." He nodded and hugged me tightly.
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He let go just as the door opened and a doctor walked in. "Ah, I see you're awake, I'm afraid I have some bad news to deliver. We ran a few blood tests....and found that you have large numbers of immature lymphocytes in your blood. I'm sorry to say this.... but you have acute lymphoblastic leukemia, cancer of the lymphoid lines in the blood cells." I stared at him like he had grown three heads. I couldn't believe what he had just said. "W-what? No this can't be possible. How can this happen? Just a couple of hours ago I was going to take my own freaking life and now I have leukemia?!" I shouted in a fit of rage. "Calm down Lina." My brother said hugging me. I turned to him and let all the tears fall, not caring that I was being weak, not caring that the doctor was still there. I let it all out. My brother sighed, trying his hardest to keep his tears at bay. "What can we do Doctor?" My brother asked the doctor hopefully. "Well, the cancer is in its second stage, so we can try chemotherapy, and if that doesn't work then we'll have to look into the possibilities of a bond marrow transplant." He said with a sympathetic look on his face. I nodded forcing a sad smile and the doctor, whose name I still don't know, walked out the door.
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From what I've heard, chemo costs a lot of money. I didn't want Josh to spend money on me only to have me die in the end, even though Josh is really really rich from his job as a highly known lawyer.
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We sat and talked about the risks and possibilities. Just a few hours ago I was trying to kill myself, but now cancer had decided to do that for me the moment I decided that I want to live now. I laughed bitterly at this situation. "Why are you laughing?" Josh asked with a sad smile. "I didn't realize that I took my life for granted. I feel stupid." I replied, quietly murmuring that last bit.
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"You're not stupid. You're strong. You went through that pain for years and you fought it. You just needed a break." He replied with a firm tone. I nodded and laid down in hopes of getting some rest. As if sensing my fatigue, Josh kissed my forehead and willed me to go to sleep.
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I yawned, just now realizing how tired I was, and fell into a deep, deep slumber.
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