我和鄰居大姐姐的故事（Tier 1至3已完結/無課連載中） - 三百五十七

三百五十七

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「下？」我反應唔切，完全估唔到大表姐會突然問呢個問題。

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「唔係咩？」大表姐問：「你咁緊張要澄清，仲唔係因為鍾意人？」

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係第一次有人咁直接提醒我呢樣野。

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我其實已經感覺到自己既心意，但只係我唔想面對。

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同時我都覺得因為自己既過去，根本冇資格同秋兒姐姐一齊。

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哈。

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真係好笑。

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雖然話就話係Kitty姐姐做主動先，所以第一次做愛我都勉強可以話唔係自願，但之後呢？

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之後果啲女，有人搵枝鎗指住我要我屌柒佢地咩？

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冇架！

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我講過喇，我係認自己係人渣架。

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「熙熙。」大表姐見我唔講野，又開口道：「如果你真係鍾意人既就主動出擊喇，機會係要自己爭取架，你唔好諗住你乜都唔做就可以同人地一齊呀。」

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我諗起Jonathan，雖然秋兒姐姐話佢只係普通朋友同埋好鍾意幫人，但響我眼中，佢好明顯已經出緊手。

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條仆街仲狼撚過社長。

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「我...」我本來想否認自己鍾意秋兒姐姐，就好似一路以黎自己呃自己咁，但呢一刻我對住大表姐講唔出口。

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大表姐睇出我既心事，所以佢可以話係唯一一個可以同我傾呢件心事既人，如果我否認左自己鍾意秋兒姐姐既話，彷彿就會失去左呢個唯一可以傾到呢件心事既人。

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只係諷刺既係，大表姐都係我其中一個SP。

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「唉，我唔知。」最後我咁講。

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自己爭取...？

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如果Jonathan真係出手既話，我又可以點同佢鬥？

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而且我而家又拖住鄭穎琳同大表姐，我又有咩資格去爭取？

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「唔好要自己後悔呀。」大表姐又柔聲道：「我聽完你講，以我都係女仔既角度黎睇，秋兒姐姐至少對你係有小小感覺既。」

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「下？」呢句野我發夢都唔敢諗。

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「傻熙熙，你真係睇唔出咩？」大表姐反問：「佢啱啱聽到你鄰居話見到我響你屋企走出黎既時候既反應，你真係唔覺得佢在意你既咩？」

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「...」咁我地係姐弟既關係，佢以一個家姐既身份黎關心我唔得既咩？

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大表姐見我唔出聲，又再開口道：「如果你真係想同秋兒姐姐一齊既話就主動小小喇。你唔好諗住要人地女仔做主動呀。你睇得上既女仔應該都好受歡迎，你唔追既話，隨時比其他男仔追到呀。蘇州過後冇艇搭，記住呢句喇。」

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「嗯。」我真係要出手？

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「嗯，我咪問你今日咪好似有啲唔開心既？」大表姐續道：「又係因為秋兒姐姐？」

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「都話冇唔開心咯！」我面皮薄、我小學雞，所以我再次否認。

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大表姐都冇逼我，只係話：「係喇係喇。」頓了一頓又道：「如果你想搵人傾下既就搵我喇。一齊左既話，好好地對人啊，唔好好似而家咁喇，知唔知？」

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「嗯。」

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諗起下晝先大大力痴撚線咁屌完呢個被虐狂表姐，而家佢又用一個好似大姐姐既身份同我傾心事，世事都真係幾奇妙。

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當晚我訓覺既時候響床上面輾轉反側，諗返全日所發生既事，心情真係覺得幾複。

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由秋兒姐姐下晝話要出席Jonathan屋企舉行既名校生讀書會開始，我既心情忐忑兼煩躁不安，所以先搵大表姐黎出火。

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不安既原因其實我自己好清楚，只係我一直唔肯去認真面對自己既心意。

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同時另一個原因係因為我感受到Jonathan既威脅。佢無論家底人品都同我呢個人渣冇得比，我點同佢搶秋兒姐姐？

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除非大表姐既推測係正確。

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而且……

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……

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……

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……

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我唔夠膽踏出呢一步。

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擔心破壞左而家既關係？

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可能喇。

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但唔係最主要既原因。

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我呢種人渣，同Kitty姐姐一樣……

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……

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……

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……

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有資格得到愛情咩？

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或者……

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當我同Kitty姐姐一齊，我先唔會背負罪惡感。

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其實究竟秋兒姐姐點諗？

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其實佢今晚既反應……

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雖然我唔敢推斷得太多，但其實大表姐講既野都有可能……

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只係……

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我都係覺得自己唔配出手……

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唉。

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唉，今日發生既事情太多。

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連波都輸埋，冠軍又冇左……

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連續瘋狂射精兼踢完場咁重要又刺激既比賽，我都真係好攰……

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秋兒姐姐既事……

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都係訓醒再算……

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（待續）

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三百五十七

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