致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡte6HgkAsL7
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前提，是特殊情況之下394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqedUCMqAO9
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsb3DqIFHW
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大概394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8wAbrCsff
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdjOiZ9SDB
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuolV7Eq4V
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「⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqA1pD9Dpgq
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXDzbxLalX
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJO4h7Gez0
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnGkrBxJ68
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7Vm23bcDA
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不良日常性時候394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQwGi5r0tm
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc72eOoKUO9
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDRTMGkfuf
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVQsUHCc51
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqf0piTBQvd
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwV63BI5Ao
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpjv8I7Ad2
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7dKxjkfF8
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7ocSVRjA3
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRCmS222sX
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu3A5DAszb
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「呀！來了、來了！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3jQdsOuyU
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「走啊～」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDeZCvtCLr
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqahZrO302
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE28O6JiIru
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他394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifBcaztzN6
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「又被欺負了嗎？」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5HgMYlYY8
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRunMDWtbU
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fRI31We0L
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzRRWR7zev
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcWiawLoM0
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcn9YWRv8LA
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⋯⋯394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUJlSCjtsm
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怎也好呢394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aGzcgUepH
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「⋯⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8w8aPYP9B6
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiWCwaVnha
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvq7qUDkejD
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—— 咔 ——394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnh1EQbw4Y
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⋯394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHA5hVZRpdl
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⋯⋯394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iUf3bs7ld
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXKyelJrRI
「嗚⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IjgqeAhJ3
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfNiSOjHfD
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUtSqz7DOW
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaL0oarHERf
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「啊？！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2HGjD5lTM
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—— 啪噹 ——394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VlkVRVjQ0
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuprktpqgpy
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkRCFeLzla
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她一樣394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTLqzlyljd
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hrNZSOJES
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZBTCWvPzg
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「對不起！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VwIMvJrto
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrFXyX8Iut
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「來」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKXYFZMge5
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「⋯謝謝」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugmWW3RZ0b
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVcChgqOrv
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxzRG538vW
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2uiQuvdTL
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9eHu7o2LI
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「那個，水無月？」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkJZBZ4xKo
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「怎麼了？」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj44iMGIZYt
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDge1dw3Au
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各種394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDkCeC9yBZ
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKGJvUij3V
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzhUvBCKnO
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且只能回味394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4fogFOmna
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「回來了嗎，島見？」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEZMoIw2xV
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDwL4pO4be
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPRrbF5Yt2
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eQ2Bd53BN
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「媽媽⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hB7DvvU6i
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「⋯⋯是的？」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXM7C1S1YI8
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBC3znxrRG
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3zbq9GxR8
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynsVhZnayq
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOw8EeXMuDK
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呢394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoMrUiD1OA
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvNT8pofBG
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuexkFuSQV
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來得太突然了
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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太過成功才使人後悔啊394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTKnuW2iZs
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59HG2oNDMe
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvcBRCLgqX
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來得太突然了，去得太突然394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lCEbVwDYV
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2pO33lajF
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道歉又有什麼用？394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGhNkJbyK8
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卻394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12NdKiProw
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyn5gerXWBb
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要説再見了嗎？394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbkdEJbHzj
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我不想394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyR8v3aYuB
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZxOWZ2hTg
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cSY54pIe6
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我不想那樣子394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2kNVbI4eh
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88rJHOAKIh
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Z3oEXXvn0
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不在這般的前半生之後394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC45lEdALZO
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⋯⋯394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrY6bsLV3iu
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無論如何，日子倒是來了394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDdsaHx3K7
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最後的笑容，就在當刻394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkQhCNc0bv
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhMJDM6UNG
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—— 啾 ——394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9NoerKa4f
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我不接受394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9N5uXIFLg
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「賀羽⋯？」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGZtE3MkGn
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—— 啾 ——394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEl9Jlc7ox
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMl0jTVuw2
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我不接受這樣的結果394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9y6UaKCwuz
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kGH1EsqQ5
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqyyyk8HuX
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqFvC0jWpn
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我的本性394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcHrG5Kzvt
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgpzWMIkl1
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—— 啪 ——394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYCq8UfB3D
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「給我閉嘴」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGnYu5QQhX
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj3IzGSsJb
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我終究只是野獸而已呢394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxDdolvXti
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8sUmqbj8X
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdifmC3IIWo
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而作為人形野獸真的該死394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMmT6yAMHP
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如此痛苦也是活該394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinCrVwwZKv
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忘記不能也是394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxPhChKrfq
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyfqA7OFEz
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKVbbcuWtC
「張開口！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2SLcLOxae
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuT8nRC7OE
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發現了嗎？394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8D6gTwhD6
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rxrbawnMl
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnVJmIG73A
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLedDIff500
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「為什麼⋯⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81WDL3JH9a
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我所嚮往的394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LP56jhxI9
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所謂的394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJ2a20kAgd
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「正常」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBs9SJ5e4Z
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純粹是個謊言394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrq3h3we1k
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6LAi8lp0P
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDAYkU0LOM
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⋯⋯394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmUVwICNxh
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所以說，我是異類嗎？394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eFozBG8DT
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「⋯⋯再見了」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPciuoPREZ6
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當然394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKwci5PhzQ
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAIIkmGu3s
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztn5yNVON6
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6DfbAIHMr
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「嘿⋯」394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hyJCbweLP
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自討而已394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofPxomPpbm
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
ns216.73.216.82da2
